PlayMaker 28
Play Maker By RettaMichaels “The Queen of Gay Romance”
Disclaimer
If you are dumb enough to believe this story is true, please stop, shut off your computer and then go to the nearest mirror to repeatedly slap yourself back into reality. You'll thank yourself afterward, I assure you.
IF you are below the age of 18, please don't read the stories on here. Your presence jeopardizes those of us who do so legally.
Notes From Retta:
This story is written mostly as a retro piece. I intentionally made sure some prices were lower and I made sure the older stars were used in the piece. You need to realize this was written in the era of Bush I (around 1991). I did it from memory, so sue me if it's not completely accurate.
Play Maker
ab
Chapter Twenty Eight:
I went over to the camera people and said, “I'm ready to do a commercial.
Andy smiled, “We've already got enough raw footage for you to have a few commercials.”
“I hope one of them isn't running around in here with no clothes!”
He smiled, “No, but I think more than a few hearts fluttered when they saw you walking nude.”
“Mine was fluttering a moment ago when I saw Ren nude, so I know how it is.”
“Is Ren you're new partner?”
“Yeah.”
“He looks familiar.”
“He's a famous matador. He was on Madonna's video.”
“Oh! He's going to play football?”
“I'm in such need of help, if you'd put on a linebacker's jersey, I'd have you on the field.”
“It looks like you've got a lot of guys here.”
“About twice as many as last week. They saw us play Tampa and now they want to be famous. With the way we're giving enticements out there, I'd say we're going to tear the hell out of Helias.”
“What enticements do you offer?”
“Let's go outside. I really need to film a few commercials while I've got daylight. I didn't just blow you off, but I can talk while I'm moving.”
“Ok”
We started walking and I said, “IF we offer them money for bonuses for a single person, that's illegal. However, if I say to I'll give you a Big Mac for putting anyone on their ass when you hit them, that gets the meaning conveyed I want them hit, and I want them hit hard and stopped.”
“Right.”
“Now, for a sack on the quarterback, you get a pizza. For a touchdown, that's a tank of gas. Grant also said for an interception, he'd allow them to name their first born after him.”
Andy chuckled, “Grant is built awesomely well.”
“Yeah, he and I worked out together. I was flabby until we started working out, but now, I don't have time. Maybe when we get the team bigger and brought together we can start working out again.”
“Why are you doing it this way?”
“I bought the team and they got told to meet me at the airport for a meet and greet. It's not a have to situation, but it is in the contract they can only miss one.”
“Why do they have those?”
“It's for visiting dignitaries and good will for the community. If you come to town and you're like a President or something, then it's good for our community out there seeing us gathered to represent them.”
“Oh ok, I'm following now.”
“With us having separate teams, it's hard for us to do that now. I'm not pushing that in the contract since I'm the one who caused it.
Basicly put, our manager had called everyone and told them I wanted a team meeting and a practice following the meet and greet. When I wasn't met at the airport, I was ticked but that was their one time. When they didn't show for the team meeting, that's grounds for suspension because it IS paid and it IS required. So, they got called and told they needed to get to the stadium for their suspension and if they wanted to stay on the team, they'd practice.
Now, I was willing to over look the missed team meeting if they showed for practice. What happened next is beyond stupid. Someone had called them, namely the previous coach, and told them this wasn't a paid thing. That's why Grant's now our coach.
Contractually, I can't tell you I'm not paying you for something in your contract. Contractually speaking, you can't go off what someone says, even if it's your coach, and not show to something which your contract says you must attend. IF you do, I've got grounds to fire if you've been suspended. Needless to say, those who showed got to keep their jobs. Those who didn't got told to get to the stadium as they were being fired. Those who just didn't show got fired, and got reported to the league.”
“What's that do?”
“IF I fire you, that's one thing. You're a free agent and you can go elsewhere. If I fire you and report you to the league, I'm looking for league sanctions which are going to probably be suspended games, heavy fines, or they could be up to suspension from the sport period.
I'm looking for suspended games. I don't think they'll fine someone who's unemployed, and I don't think they'll suspend them from the sport. That's usually for something like fighting, or worse on the field.”
“Why suspended games?”
“Ok, let's say I'm looking at you to hire. You got fired from the Angels and you've got a ten game suspension. That means I hire you and I've got to pay you the base pay of what your contract dictates. Usually, base pay is thirty seven thousand a year. IF you hear me saying thirty five, that's what I round down to in my brain. For me, that base pay is about seven hundred thousand a year.”
“Why?”
“Because if I hire you and you don't ever get to the field but you're on the side lines holding up my roster so I've got spares, then I'm able to use you.”
“Ok, how's that go?”
“Let's say you go out in a jersey on Sunday. You stand there, sip Gatorade which Chris proudly endorses their company, and you don't play. I send you a check on Monday for thirty five grand...well, whatever it is without taxes. However, let's say we're all the way into the fourth quarter with a minute to play and the guy you fill in for gets hurt. I'm sending you in and suddenly, you're making what he does for the day which could be sixty to three hundred grand.”
“Man!”
“Yeah, but remember, there are rules and then, there are rules.”
“What's that mean?”
“I'm hiring you. You're a big gorgeous piece of meat and you're full of steroids. Now, do I hire you and let you come in here and be seen shooting that shit into your veins? Or, do I tell you I can't afford you simply because I don't want my guys subjected to that.”
“Ok, but you can't protect them from it.”
“NO, but let me tell you something. My stadium is a 'non-hangers on' area. That means not even I allow myself a boytoy or a girltoy to be there without putting him to work. That keeps the pushers off my property and it keeps them away from my stadium.
IF, and I say IF, I find out you came to work for me clean...which I'll run tests and it's a violation of your contract if I find them... I'll support you. I'll pay you and I'll certainly protect you.
Now if Billy Joe Bob down there got himself hooked up with a steroid pusher, and he's using, I'll find out eventually. I'm in the locker room and I'm having my people look for telltale signs like used shringes, bottles, vials, and just all that.
IF I find out there's someone in there using, I'm calling the league and having them send their people to test everyone. When they find them, I'm standing behind my team and I'm standing behind the league on what is imposed.”
“You mentioning it tells me you know there's steroid use in the league.”
“I do. I know some of these guys can't be that big without it, but we've got to play against them just the same until they're found. It's not fair and it's not sportsmanlike, but hey, if you want to be a jerk and use it to hit my guy harder, I'll take it as a compliment you think my guy is worthy enough to make you feel insecure.”
“How about doing a commercial about that.”
“No because the second I do, I'm the laughingstock of the league if my team gets found using. All it takes is one and I'm hurt.”
“I understand. I like your stand on it though.”
“Let's do this Nestle's crunch commercial and get out there to film the GM commercials.”
“How do you want to do it?”
“Stand here and start filming me. I'll go up here and sit down. I'll start talking and then open the wrapper and bite into it. When I'm done with that bite, wait for the smile and then cut.”
“Ok”
I went down the bleachers and stopped. Someone came over and I signed an autograph. I turned and went up the bleachers and sat down, “You know, when I get a chance to enjoy a game, I don't like filling up on a bunch of junk food. It makes me feel bloated and it just makes me feel held down. It's hard to jump and cheer with a tub of popcorn, a big drink, and a hot dog. Grab a Nestle' Krunch bar and keep it light.” I opened the package and took a bite. I chewed chewed, and then smiled.
“That was marvelous. You just made that up?”
“Yeah, I thought I was getting wordy.”
“I got you signing that autograph. I think we need to keep it in the commercial.”
“That'd be cool. If it runs us over, then cut it off.”
“I think you're right in there for them to do a close up of it and some graphics work.”
“Good. That's one down for them. I'm going to have to have someone keeping track of how many commercials I've got to do for each one.”
“I'll have our people do it.”
“Ok, I'll try to stay ahead. Well, hopefully, I'll be way far ahead.”
“Why?”
“I'm growing and I know I'm going to put on weight. I think it'd be best for them to have a bunch ahead of that growth spurt.”
“Ok, but it'd look weird having you one day looking this tall and then having a bunch looking taller.”
“Seven inches taller and sixty five pounds heavier. I'll end up six foot and a buck ninety.”
“Ok, that's still small for a quarterback, right?”
“Yeah, but Ren out there is going to be real small. He's my size as an adult and...would you look at that ass!”
Everyone's eyes went to the field. “It's obvious to see you're attracted to him.”
“Madonna told me I'd have to either not be gay or blind in order not to appreciate him. She was right.”
“She's who set you up?”
“Yeah, she called me and told me he was on his way. That way I couldn't get shy and tell her no.”
“You...shy? No way!”
“I can be when it comes to someone who looks like him. Man, the guy is perfect.”
“It's nice to see you so open with your feelings.”
“That's me. If this works, I'll be one of the luckiest guys on the planet.”
“You have doubts?”
“People would say I'm good looking. I would tend to agree, but standing next to him, I feel like an eight who just went to a four. He's a ten and that's what number I picked for him to wear. He'll be my ten.”
“Let's go get the GM commercial done. How do you want to do it?”
“The Roadmaster commercial is going to be longer. I'm going to sell them the car.”
“How?”
“Like a used car salesman. What you don't know is they're planning on ending the model. I want to personally keep this car on the road.”
“Why?”
“Besides the Fleetwood Brougham, I really like this car. It rides like a dream and it's a bigger car. It's pretty for being a Buick, and that's not a slam at Buick. I'd just prefer a Caddy grill be on it, but hey, I'm told they're definitely not doing that.”
“You get inside information.”
“I spoke with the man like a pissed off customer. In a way, I am, because I've got to buy the vehicles in order to sell them on my lot. I mark them up and I make money.”
“You have a dealer?”
“Yeah, this name here is my show room manager's. He started the dealer with his cousin's money, and I bought it. I left his name on it, but when I get a dealer going in Akron, I'll have the Angel name on it.”
“Ok, how do you want to do this?”
“What I'm going to do is I'm going to stand up front and introduce the car to you. I'll walk around and open the driver's door. You get a close up of the interior and then, I'll have you cut. Then, I'll want a shot of the instrument panel from the back seat, but I'd like for you to pull back and show the entire dash. We'll cut and then show the back seat and then I'm going to open the trunk walk back and climb in. I'll probably say I'm more than that little three bags of groceries the little car carries.”
“That's good.”
“I'll point at the fuel filler door and tell them what the sticker says. I'm not lying and it's just sold the car.”
“What else are you going to say?”
“The whole time I'm walking, I'm going to be talking like a car salesman. You're going to have things shoved in here like you wouldn't believe. I can do it because I've sold these cars before.”
“That's interesting. You're multi-talented.”
“It's fun selling a product which sells itself.”
We went up and I started when I stopped. “I'm sorry, let's move the car.”
“Why?”
“I want the team practicing on the field in the background. It sort of says I'm tied with the team and I took time from my busy schedule to sell the people a car.”
“That's a good idea.”
“Let me take it around and pull it up there by the gate.”
I got in and wheeled it around. I drove up to the gate and backed it in at an angle. When I got out, he pointed at the sky, “We're going to be out of daylight soon.”
“That's ok, I can sell that truck in the dark.”
“How?”
“You'll see.”
I went through the sales pitch and we got it done fast. When it was over, he said, “Ten minutes to film a car commercial. I think that's a record.”
“I'm glad it was a white car. If it'd been dark, those clouds would've reflected on the hood.”
“You have a knack for this.”
“With most things, I tend to have an inate ability to do them. I'm not bragging because I'll tell you it's a gift from Heaven above.”
“You're right. I understand because people say I'm one of the best. I'll tell you my trick is always using a darned good camera and a soft filter. Most people won't. The filter cuts a lot of the glare and shine normal people get when lights are too bright.”
“That's cool. How's it with natural lighting?”
“Excellent. That's why I know your style of commercials are going to look great.”
“Let's get back in here so they don't think I'm blowing off the practice.”
We walked in and I saw Ren put the ball into play. I stopped and watched. He ran back and then found Baker open. I thought it was a bit of a throw, but he made it look effortless. Baker caught it and Ren ran to the sideline. I ran up and patted him on the shoulder pad. “That's some nice playing, you're picking it up really well.”
“It's a lot easier than bullfighting.”
“I imagine. Maybe you could show me bullfighting.”
“I won't ever allow anyone I love into the ring. It's dangerous.”
Two things I caught. One was the word 'love' and the other was his look in his eyes when he said them. It was like they went that blue black that Jared had in his.
Grant came over and showed Ren the play book. This one here, you've got to look out for Chris and then run this way. You don't throw it to Chris, but the whole play is to have them thinking you're concentrating so hard on getting it to Chris, you're inadvertently telling them he is who you're going to throw it to. INSTEAD, what you're going to do is you're going to hand it off to this guy and he's going to run it. Hopefully, it'll be opened up about here and he can get through. IF not, then he'll get it as far as he can.”
“Ok.”
Ren ran out onto the field and Grant came over, “You're lucky. If you'd brought him to me to meet him, I would've told you about now that I was already falling for him.”
“You've got someone who thinks you're hot, why not go for him?”
“Who?”
“Jordan.”
“I already fucked around with one under aged kid and it cost me half of everything I own...”
I saw red. That's the only way I can say it. I turned and popped him in the mouth. I stood over him and said, “Get up, get the fuck out of my sight, and be prepared to apologize. I'll have Mike get you back your shit, but the next time I ever hear you say I cost you half of everything you own, I'll cost you the other half of everything you own and will own it all. You'll be in jail and you won't have time to lust on anyone I'm with. DO YOU HEAR ME??”
“That didn't come out right.”
“No, because I'm not hear feeling sorry for poor pitiful Grant who gets shit on by everyone he fucks with. If I recall, you shit on me pretty good. You had me down and you had me nearly on the plane to go to Mexico to get as far away from you and your manipulations as possible.
Now, for you today, practice is over. Get the fuck off my field and be prepared to speak with Mike about what I've got to get back to you.”
“I don't want anything back.”
“Not happening. I don't need you or your things in order to be the evil butt of your whoa..is me life. I've got my own fucking money and certainly don't need you, your money, or that bullshit.”
“I'll quit then. You'll never have that chance to hit me again.”
“Call a fuckin' team meeting. Let's lay the cards on the table and see if they would've put you on your ass too.”
“I'm out of here.”
“Well, I'll call the team meeting. I'll tell them everything and I'll tell them why I want you off this field. You can lay your little guilt trip on someone else, it didn't work with me.”
He got up and threw his clip board and whistle. I went over and got the whistle. I blew it and called everyone in.
“Guys, let's go into the field house, we've got to have a meeting and I don't want to yell it out to all these fans.”
Chris asked, “What happened?”
“I put Grant on his ass.”
“Why?”
“I'll tell you when I tell everyone. I want everyone's reactions as to what they would've done under the circumstances.”
We went into the field house and Grant was sitting in his office.
I started, “Just a few minutes ago, some of you got to see me put Grant on his ass. Some of you know our past, but I'll not go into it. He was abusive mentally to me and it came down to me being emancipated. IF he says otherwise, ask those who were around me and you'll hear I'm being way nice when I leave it at that.
Yesterday, Grant signed over half his things to me because he said it was because he had no heir and since he was my guardian and because my dad helped him build everything, I deserved half. I agreed, but insisted I get he full ownership of the car dealer.
A few minutes ago, he told me his opinion about Ren. He thinks I'm lucky, and he thinks if he'd been set up with him, he'd be falling for him about now. I told him he has someone on this team who thinks he is hot that I've tried setting him up with. His remark to me was that he fucked with an underage kid before and it cost him half his shit.
That is why he got put on his ass. Now, I want a full gage of hands raised if you wouldn't have put him on his ass?”
“Two hands raised.”
“Who has no opinion?”
“Four hands raised.”
“Ok, all those in agreement, raise your hands and let me tell Grant to look at this. I want him to see exactly what a dick he's being.”
I went over and knocked on the coach's door. He opened it. “Those are the hands of the guys who would've put you on your ass. Two of them wouldn't have done it and four have no opinion.”
“Did you tell them everything?”
“Yeah.”
“Ok, I apologize. The words came out wrong and I'm sorry.”
“Come out here and tell me in front of everyone how the words were meant to come out.”
“Why?”
“Because I think you're lying. I think you are setting up this victim thing about me supposedly blackmailing you.
If that's what you're about to do, I'll tell you now, I'll sue your ass into the dust for defamation of character. I'll have enough witnesses to corroborate my side and you best believe Mike wouldn't have signed everything over into my name if you had led him to believe you were being blackmailed.
So, as I see it, we're at another point where I'm wanting you gone from my life. Either we get through it, or you hand me your resignation and I'll buy me a coach.”
“Let me think on it.”
“Ok, tomorrow, I'll either make the announcement to the team that you're a liar and you gave your resignation, or you're staying on and we're going to work through it.”
I turned to the team and said, “Guys, go shower. Practice is over. Either we'll have him as a coach tomorrow or we'll have someone else brought in.”
I turned to Grant and said, “I want that decision by nine am. I'll call Mike Shannon to coach us if you want to quit.”
He went back into the office and I went over to my dressing area. Ren came over and asked, “Are you ok?”
“Yeah, it hurts.”
“I know.”
“Here's my soap and shampoo. Go to the shower and I'll go speak with him.”
“You should leave it alone.”
“I can't. I want him to know no matter what, I do love him.”
“As a lover?”
“No, as someone I respect and someone who means a lot to me.”
“Ok, I'll meet you in the showers. Tell him I want to thank him for allowing me to play. I feel he taught me a lot.”
“I'll do that. ”
I went over to Grant's door and opened it. “I'm here to tell you I want to thank you for all you've done for me. I love you but not in the way it's meant to be. IF you leave, don't look back because I'm not either. I'll call Mike and get him to get everything unsigned.”
“I don't want you to do that.”
“Well, I'm not having it held over my head either. You give and you manipulate. Rather than stay in that game, I'll give it all back and leave you as a part of my past I remember fondly, but don't want anything to do with again.
In regards to Ren, he said to tell you thank you for giving him the opportunity to play.”
“Are you going to call Mike Shannon?”
“If you quit, I am. He's the only guy I respect enough in coaching who has a level head. And, I think he's the only guy who could surpass your coaching skills.”
“You really think so?”
“I know so.”
“Don't ever hit me again.”
“Then don't speak to me again. If it's designed to seek a negative response, then you found it works. That's goal accomplished for you.”
“So I'm to put up with you hitting me when you feel like it?”
“Say something like that again, and I'll sue your into the dust. That's it on the warnings.
If you want to go onto the stand and tell a judge how fucking me got rid of half our shit, then do so...if that's what you feel, but just remember I'm going to have people up there saying how manipulative, coercive, and dangerous I felt you to be in my personal life. I'll also tell them with witnesses you were under absolutely no duress when you made your decision. I'll probably even have Mike in there to tell what he was told...if that's what you feel.”
“I don't. I'm feeling vulnerable. I think he could take you away from me.”
“So you push me away?”
“Yeah.”
“Grant, I'll be there for you in the way I can be. I can't be with you in a relationship yet, but I can be good for you in other ways. I won't be there if you're lashing out with words.”
“Ok, I'm sorry.”
“Will you stay?”
“Do you want me?”
“As my coach, I'd love to have you. I think these guys will love having you.”
“You sort of took all respect for me away from them.”
“Bullshit, they love you and I think a lot of them think I'm an idiot for giving you up. Just keep it honest with them and it'll work.”
“Ok, now I want to ask you one question and you think about it hard.”
“Sure.”
“Ren's going to be equally as good as you. He can't throw as far as you, but he's that good in all other ways. Having him on third string is wasting him.”
“What do you want to do?”
“It's a toss up. You can rotate in and out with him and leave Jordan as back up, or you can give him up and sign him with another team.”
“I'll speak with him. IF I need to lose him, I might as well do it before we get real involved.”
“You're shutting down emotionally again.”
“You lay this at my feet and as an owner, I've got to be objective. If I get into personal shit, I'll be manipulative.”
“Is that what I'm doing?”
“You let too much of what you want in and it's affecting us. I'd rather you just be honest and tell me that you feel vulnerable instead of saying hurtful things which aren't true.”
“Ok, it's going to take a lot of trial and error on my part. I hope you'll be patient.”
“I will be, but I want you to go out here and have a team meeting and tell them what you just told me.”
“What!”
“Grant, you being honest and saying you've got feelings is a step they need to hear. You need to know these guys look up to you and they might do better in their personal lives if they're more honest in their feelings.”
“Ok, I'll tell them.”
“I've got to go get a shower. Get them told about the meeting before they leave. Also, have you told them about the contracts and stuff for tomorrow night?”
“Yeah.”
“Good, I got Pendergrass, Chris, and DJ signed for long term contracts.”
“DJ too?”
“Yeah, I lay down some stuff with him and he agreed.”
“Is he going to be with Samuels?”
“I don't know. That's up to him. I'm staying out of it.”
“Ok, go get your shower.”
I went out and Grant went over the PA system. “Team meeting before you leave.”
I got in the shower and Ren was standing there looking like a drowned rat shivering. “Why are you cold?”
“I couldn't get the hot to work.”
“Here's how you do it. You turn this on around. Well, this one is broken. Let's go over here and get one that works.”
“We can choose another?”
“Yeah.”
“I went to this one because someone pointed at it.”
“Who was that?”
“The big black guy.”
“Ok, I'll tell him.”
“Don't cause no problems over me.”
“Ren, I'm going to protect anyone who is made to take a cold shower when he thinks that's the only shower he can use. I'll tell you like I tell everyone, you're just as entitled to all of these showers as anyone else.”
“Maybe it was an initiation.”
“Maybe, but it it was meanness, I want it stopped.”
He turned around and rinsed his hair. The soap bubbles rinsed down his back and through the cleft in his bubble butt. The water shining off his olive skin made it seem more erotic than normal. He turned around and smiled. I rinsed my hair and then soaped my body.
As soon as we were finished, he held up a towel which was shreds. “Let me use that towel and you use this one. I'll be back.”
I went over to the towel issue and said, “IF ever a towel is this bad again, I want it thrown out. Also, get my guy over there in the equipment hand out a list of how many towels we use here and I'll get us some new ones.”
“Who had this?”
“Renaldo was given it.”
“He didn't get it here. It looks like somebodies jock rag.”
“Son of a bitch!”
I turned and stormed over to Ren, “Who gave you the towel?”
“That same guy who gave me the shower.”
“Show him to me.”
“Why?”
“Forget it, I'll speak to the group as a whole. Let's go get dressed.”
“You're still wet.”
“Yup and I intend on staying that way until after the team meeting.”
I went out to the team meeting and saw hardly anyone was there. I went into Grant's office and hit the PA system. “Would the dumb son of a bitch who gave Renaldo the cold shower and the jock rag for a towel please report to the showers?”
I stepped out of the office and Chris came running. “What was that?!”
“You heard it. The guy gave Ren a shower which was broke. He thought it was his and couldn't get it to make hot water. Then, I get him to a warm shower and when he goes to dry off, he has a towel which is shreds. I take it to the towel boy and he tells me that's not one he would've let out but it's a jock rag. When I asked Ren, he tells me the same guy a big black guy gave it to him when he got given the shower.
I'm willing to let the cold shower go as an initiation, but I'm not going to have anyone being subjected to having to dry with something like that. IF it wasn't against the health code, I'd make the fucker dry with it for a month.”
I watched the shower and no one showed. Grant came over and I said, “Start the team meeting. I want to have a few words before you do.”
“Sure.”
Grant yelled, “Guys, this is the team meeting. If you aren't here, get here in ten seconds.”
A few stragglers came running over.
I said, “Guys, some hazing just took place with Ren. Now, ask me what I feel about it and I'll tell you I spoke over the PA system and the spineless son of a bitch who did it didn't show himself. I'll know who it is and I'll tell you now, when tomorrow night comes, you WON'T be handed any endorsement contracts and you WON'T be allowed to stay on this team.
IF you think I'm pissed because it's Ren, think again. Any motherfucker in this place would have me pissed if I saw you having to use a jock rag to dry with in the showers. HE took your meanness as kindness, but I'll be down right mean when it comes to being mean...and I'll be mean to your face.
IF you think I need people that bad, walk. IF you think I can't get people here damned good money, then you think again. Each and every one of you who chooses to stay on will be making between twenty and thirty million a year...all except you who gave the jock rag to a fellow team mate. That jock rag sent you from riches to rags. I hope you thought it was a twenty million dollar joke because that's what it cost you.”
Four guys and Ren looked towards one guy. I went over and stood by him. “Four people and Ren looked this direction. I wonder why? ”
“Beats the hell ouf to me.”
“Ren, is this the guy?”
“Yeah.”
I turned to the guy. “That's all I needed to hear. I'll send that rag into to state crime lab and have it analyzed. If it comes back having any semen on it from you, I'll put you up on charges, suspend you from the team permanently, and fight you each and every time the league wants to bring you back for reinstatement.
Now, either apologize to him in front of everyone and we'll drop it, or get the fuck out.”
“Man, you're being a racist.”
I backed up and turned to Grant. “Grant, get him off my team. He's making false allegations.”
Grant said, “Eppelsheimer, starting tomorrow, you're on suspension. Ride back with the team on the jet and consider your employment with us indefinite.”
“AWWW MAN!” He stood up and stormed away slamming lockers as he went.
The towel boy brought over the jock rag. He said, “Guys, this is the towel Renaldo was given. IF you want to smell it, or touch it, you'll know as well as I do what it is.”
Grant looked instantly pissed. “Guys! In all my years of bullshit on teams, I've never seen shit like this! If that's the way you want it to be, then I can make life damned hard.
Starting now, be prepared to give me drug screens once a week and hair analysis once a week. Starting now, you run twenty laps around that track and then we'll practice. Starting now, if you want to haze, denigrate, or just plain want to make someone feel bad, then don't show to practice.
Be a man about it and I'll get you off the team.
FOR ADDED MEASURE, I'm going to go on ESPN and speak about this incident. I'm going to mention EPPELSHEIMER by name and show this rag. It will be in a ziplock bag and I'll gage everyone's reaction towards this incident from the public. They'll support him with their dollars by letting the next team he goes to know they won't tolerate such behaviors.
IF YOU THINK I'M OVERREACTING here, then try the shit again and I'll bench the whole fucking team and bow us out of any contention for the remainder of the season. Try me, and you'll see I'm not going to put up with it.
Now, with that said, this meeting was called because I was going to tell you I was absolutely in the wrong and reacted badly to my jealousy over Jake's happiness. I was insecure and struck out with words. I was feeling vulnerable and that's why I behaved the way I did. I beg you guys apologies and above all, I ask Jake to forgive me.”
I went over and hugged him. “I forgive you.”
I turned to the guys and said, “Guys, that admission by him is a lot of he and I's troubles.
I'm growing and moving on, but he doesn't deal with it well at all. I still care as a friend, as his ward from him being my guardian, and as a student under his mentoring, I think we're on better grounds and we're building a friendship out of a torn relationship.
Some of you guys are straight. You might not deal with this, but we all have broken relationships. It's how we deal with them that gets us onto better ground. I hope you can learn as we have and get beyond it.”
Grant said, “That's it guys. For those of you going back to Akron, the bus is about to leave.”
Chris came over, “Can I catch the late flight back with my mom? She's wanting to get some things together and move them out there.”
“Sure”
Pend' came over, “I'm heading back on the early flight. I'll let you know what is said on the flight.”
“I appreciate it.”
“No problem man. That idiot started to scream racism when he was the one being racist...if that's what it was.” He shook his head and walked off.
DJ came over and said, “Thanks for today. I think Dad is heading over tomorrow, but I'm not sure.”
“I'll call him and see if he needs a jet sent to pick him up.”
When it was done, Grant gave me a hug and said, “Mike's wanting to meet you over at your new place.”
“Ok, I'll be heading there.”
“Take him out to eat someplace.”
“I will...later. I've got to film a truck commercial yet.”
“How many is that today?”
“A Nestle's, a GM, and now, the truck commercial. So, that's two GM's. We might slide in a Burger King before we leave town.”
I went over and got dressed. Ren came over. His eyes were cast down.
“I'm sorry about the problems with your team.”
I stopped dressing and stood up, I hugged him and said, “It's not your fault. The guy was being dumb. He didn't get it off. Don't let anyone treat you that way again.”
“I thought he was being friendly.”
“I know. That's why I'm so upset. He now knows what everyone thinks about what he did. As you see, none of them thought it was funny.”
“I like playing football.”
“I know. You're good at it.”
“DO you think so?”
“I saw you, and Grant really thinks you're good.”
“He said that?”
“Yeah, he wants me to talk with you about a few things.”
“Is he mad at me?”
“No. He wants me to tell you he thinks you're just as good of a player as me.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, he also thinks you're being wasted as our third string quarterback.”
“What's third string?”
“What it means is right now, Jordan is my relief quarterback. Should I not be able to play, then he plays for me. Now, if he shouldn't be able to play, then you step in.”
“That's ok.”
“It is, but he wants to know if you want to rotate in and out with me and me ask Jordan to be our relief.”
“That wouldn't be fair to Jordan.”
“No, but you're that good. If you want, we can work on getting you signed to another team and have you making a lot of money.”
“I'm fine with you.”
“Are you sure?”
“I make little money fighting bulls. I made good money working in video with Madonna, but now I'm making best money playing for you as your third string than I ever have. I'm happy if you're happy.”
“Ok, let's go tell him and we'll see what he says.”
“What do you want?”
“I want you with me in a relationship. The more I'm around you, the more I feel for you. I want us in a relationship where we're around each other and busy. I want to share my all with you, but I want you to share your all with me too.”
“I don't think I can do that.”
“Why not?”
“Listen and you will hear. When I am in a relationship, I am as you say, the bottom. I've never been with a man in the other way.”
“Ok, so we'll work on it.”
“But you are too big.”
“I'll be gentle.”
“Are you sure?”
“I promise.”
“When?”
“We'll see. Don't think about that right now. Let's concentrate on building our feelings for each other and becoming friends. Then, when it's right, we'll make love.”
“Oh, that would be nice.”
“I think so too.”
We got up and went and told Grant. Then, we went out and saw a light drizzle had started.
Andy came over and said, “I'm sorry, but we won't be able to film.”
“Wrong, it's perfect.”
“Huh?”
“I was wanting to go to a car wash to get it wet so it'd be super shiny and reflective of all the lights. Now we've got it. One thing I need to ask is if you can film in zoom on that?”
“Yeah.”
“Ok, we'll go to Hickman's IGA and I'll have you guys stand up underneath the awnings. The front of it is neon and bright lights so it should reflect well off the truck with it being wet.”
Andy smiled, “Ok, I think it's going to be great.”
We loaded everything up and drove over. When we pulled on the parking lot, Andy's excitement at the neon was verbal. “Oh man! This is going to be great!”
I put them under the awning and then went down and pulled off Morley onto the parking lot. I drove up and parked so I was nose up facing with the door towards them. When I got out, I started the monologue.
“We all know getting groceries and doing all of our other chores isn't on bright sunshiny days. We all aren't California blonde, have convertibles and we're not all skinny, built, or hung.
With the New Chevrolet Suburban, the anti-lock braking will keep your family safe, tow plenty of weight, and carry plent of cargo. It'll also sound good with the optional Bose stereo system. With optional four wheel drive, it'll get you wherever you need to go.
In short, it's the All-American grocery getter which dresses up like a tuxedo but works like a comfortable pair of blue jeans when you need it to be there for you.
I invite you for a test drive. IF it doesn't surprise you with it's soft ride, unique ability to see over the traffic ahead of you and carry eight of your friends for that tailgate party, return it and go try the other guys. Now, I've got to go see what movies are best to rent.”
I walked towards the entrance and went in. As soon as I went in, I saw the pumpkin which was tall, narrow, and the exact size of a football. I grabbed it and went over and paid for it.
The cashier smiled, “Hi Jake!”
“Hi”
“I saw you on the game last Sunday.”
“Watch me when we play Dallas. I'm going to throw this pumpkin like a football for that three hundred yards.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
I paid for it and went out the door. I was tossing it and Andy said, “Jake, that was amazing. They might throw it out because you said 'hung', but it was amazing.”
“I threw that in because I wanted it to be a tie in of what people think about when they see me. It's a bit shockish because people aren't expecting me to say something like that.”
He laughed, “I'll submit it. I bet it wakes people up and gets them to listening to what is said in a commercial.”
“I want to go up to Burger King and film a commercial. Then, I'll go get a pepperoni pizza, a two liter of Pepsi, and then, we'll go film the next two.”
“Two?”
“Yeah, Pepsi goes with pizza and pizza goes with Pepsi. I'll change the words, but it's a great push for Pizza Hut in a Pepsi commercial and Pepsi in a Pizza Hut commercial.”
“That'll be good, where are we filming it?”
“At my house. I'm sure Mrs. Watson will be fine with allowing me to use the hallway to film.”
“Who's Mrs. Watson?”
“I bought the house from her on Saturday. She's a distant family member and wasn't supposed to sell the house but pass it along to me because I'm family.
As luck would have it, I looked at it and she found out who I was. Just the same, I gave her the money because I wanted her to have her condo in Florida she wants.”
We got in and drove over to the Burger King. When I went inside, I went to the cashier and asked to speak with the manager. He came up.
“Hi, I'm Jake Martin and we're about to film a commercial here. The reason I'm telling you is because I made promises on how the food would be presented in them. What I need is a Whopper which isn't wrapped or pressed down, a Large order of fries which are extra golden brown, and a large drink which is Coke, but turn that logo from the camera if there's one on the cup.”
“Ok, How do you want it presented?”
An inspiration came to me. “Uh, what we're going to do is we're going to do two commercials. You're going to present the tray to me twice.
In the first commercial, we're going to have all your people out here. I want them to tell their name and their position here. We'll go down the line and when we get to me, I'll hold up the tray and chew on a fry. I'll say, “Jake Martin, fine food connoisseur.'
For the second one, I'm going to have you up here with that tray and you sliding it to me with a smile like you won the lottery. I'll pick it up and then carry it doing a monologue.”
“Ok,”
I turned to the guys and said, “Order up.”
They ordered and I ordered a BK Chicken, large fries, and large diet Coke – as that's what they have.
When it was ready, he said, “Jake, you're order is ready.”
I went up and then motioned for Andy to go down the line of people. They gave their name, and their position and when it got to me, I held up the tray and munched a fry. “Jake Martin, fine food connoisseur.”
As soon as I said it, I smiled. Then, I told Andy to cut. He smiled and then I said, “OK, start about here. I'll turn the burger a little and move the fries to the other side of the tray so it looks different. This time, I want you to film me as I walk towards you.”
“Ok”
I went back and told the manager, “Three, two, one...”
I looked up and picked the tray up. He said “Thank you” and I turned. “Hi folks, as you can see, I'm eating again at Burger King. A Whopper with cheese, large fries, and an icy cold beverage. The reason I come to Burger King is the fast friendly service, the good food, and the great prices. It's my hope during this holiday season, you'll drive with utmost care and watch out for the other guy. Remember, you can dine in or drive thru.” I smiled and said, “Cut!”
“Man, you surprised me there with the holiday thing.”
“I lost my train of thought. It popped into my mind, so I said it.”
“It's still going to be good.”
We ate and when we were finished, I went over to a little kid who was all over the place telling his dad I was a famous football star. I knelt down, “Hi, I'm Jake Martin. You're right. I'm a famous football star. You and your family are welcome to come down on Sunday to Dallas to watch my team play the Dallas Cowboys. We're flying a bunch of people out of the airport here and in Columbia.”
“Really!”
“Yeah, now would you guys like to be in a commercial?”
The kid really smiled. “Yeah!”
“Good, here we go.”
I turned to Andy and said, “Andy, here's another one.”
“Ok”
He picked up his camera and came over. I said, “Three, two, one...”
I turned to the camera and said, “Hi, I'm here with a big fan of mine at Burger King. His parents are here and they're enjoying a nice dinner. I'd like to welcome you and your family to eat at Burger King. It's the next best place to get to know your family besides the supper table.”
I stopped and said,”Guys, let me get you all some free meals.”
The dad said, “You don't have to do that.”
“I need to. Let me get your names and I'll have the company get you a bunch of food. Here's my phone number if they don't do it because I'll get on them if they don't.”
I turned to the boy and said, “I don't do this for just anyone, but here's my team jersey. IF you wear it on Sunday, you'll all get to sit down on the sidelines with the team. As you know, that's way better than the fifty yard line.”
The man smiled, “What time does the plane leave?”
“I think they're going to leave at five thirty and nine thirty or ten. My advice is to come down on the early one since there's going to be a lot of people. Whatever you do, don't tell anyone you're going to be sitting down there. Everyone will be your friend if you do and then, I'll have eighty people all sitting there. You can tell people the ride down and the tickets and food are going to be free.”
The guy smiled, “Why?”
“Because our team here, the Spartans have the same color scheme as the Dallas Cowboys. I want a lot of yellow, Mizzou shirts, and a lot of fans cheering us on.”
The boy asked, “Who's that other guy over there in your jersey? He looks familiar.”
“He's famous too. Do you watch MTV?”
“Yeah.”
“DO you remember the Madonna video with the bullfighter in it?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, he's the bullfighter. He's going to be a quarterback for the Angels. Would you like his autograph too?”
“Oh man!”
I turned, “Renaldo, come here!”
Renaldo came over and smiled. “He recognized you from the Madonna video and wants your autograph.”
“Really?!” he said with a smile and a slight giggle.
“Yeah.”
Renaldo knelt down and the mom had a hungry look in her eyes. I smiled. “If possible, we might have Renaldo show the crowd at half time his costume as a matador. IF he would, I'll be the bull.”
Ren giggled, “You're funny!”
“Hey, if they'd let me, I'd show that video and let them all see you're a star before coming to the team.”
Ren signed the boy's napkin I had signed and then, we were finished. I thanked them and called my Burger King man. “Hi, this is Jake Martin.”
“Hi Jake, what can I do for you?”
“I know I haven't signed the contract yet, but I've put three commercials in the can for you. Now, one family is in a commercial and I'd like to get them some food.”
“Ok, let me have their name.”
“Hang on, I'll let the dad speak with you.”
I handed the phone to the man and said, “That's the Burger King man. He's needing your address to send you the free food.”
He smiled and spoke on the phone. When he handed me the phone I said, “Thanks” into the phone and hung up.
“What did he say he was getting you guys?”
“A year's worth of meals!”
“Great. Now what I want to do is I want to get you guys a bunch of Angels' merchandise. I'll get you our leather coats, some stocking hats, and some sweats. I'll get him a jersey to trade him because I'll need this jersey to play.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, but until then, you can wear it. It's an official team jersey. It'd get you into the locker room and everywhere. Our merchandise jerseys don't get you there.”
“What's the difference?”
“The merchandise ones have a thin line down the side under the arm pit.”
“Why'd you do that?”
“I had someone who tried to kill me today. Rather than have someone get crazy anymore, we're switching things so we can tell the difference. What I will do is get you guys a trip through the locker room after the game and fly you up here in my personal jet. Ok?”
The guy was smiling more and more. He nodded and his wife asked, “Can I come too?”
“Sure, I'll have to make sure the guys are dressed because last week, I sort of got naked while I was doing an interview and the camera guy showed me. It wasn't real memorable.”
The kid said, “I saw that! Mom said you have a big one!”
“Well, a lot of America saw it too. It sure wasn't meant to be seen, but I guess if they know I keep it real in interviews, then they know I'm someone who will keep it real during most everything.
Now, I've got to go, but it was nice meeting you guys.”
When I stood up the man stood up and shook my hand, “Jake, it's been a pleasure meeting you.”
When I shook his hand, images flashed in my mind. Instantly, I stopped, “I'm sorry.”
“Sorry about what?”
“About your other son.”
“How'd you know?”
“I get images when I touch people. I saw him. I saw you guys just lost him and I'm so so sorry.”
The mom got misty eyed. “He saw you on television. He was smiling from ear to ear and then, his little heart just got weaker and weaker.”
“It was a congenital birth defect. You were told he might not live his first year, but God chose to Bless you with almost eight years. He's now with the Angels.”
“He was so happy a lot of Moberly boys are on your team. Each time you'd get a score, he'd cheer.”
She dabbed her eye and I already had tears running down my cheeks. “I feel better speaking with you guys. I didn't know how I was touching someone's life and now, I do. I'll remember that in all the things I say on television from now on.”
She smiled. “Would you do me a favor?”
“Sure.”
“Be the best you can be always. It's what we've told our boys and now, I feel like I should tell you that too.”
“I will.” I looked at the guy and said, “By the way, it's up to you, but I saw you drive a beer truck and got laid off due to the amount of missed days with your son. Times are hard, but I could offer you a job driving for my Stein distributorship in Akron, if you want.” He looked at his wife and I quickly added, “Ma'am, we need a good honest bookkeeper there if you'd take the job.”
“You see all that when you touch someone?”
“Yeah, you're going to grow up and be a fireman. You'll save people's lives and you'll have a lot of people alive...all thanks to you.”
“Really!”
“Yeah. You'll get married to a girl and I see you having some kids. You're going to name your boy Benny just like your brother.”
He smiled and the dad lost it. I leaned forward and hugged him. “Sir, take the job. I'll get you guys a house and make sure you can afford it.” in his ear.
“Thank you.”
“No problem.”
He pulled back and I said, “Here's Mr Power's phone number. He's from here and he's going to be my general manager out there.”
I gave it to him and he nodded. “I'll call.”
“Where is your son going to be buried?”
“We were thinking about here, but if we're moving out there, we'll need to have him out there.”
“Let me pay for the funeral and buy you guys a family plot. It's the least I can do.”
She nodded and said, “You're too kind.”
“That Burger King food can be bought anywhere. It doesn't have to be at this one.”
“Ok”
I said, “I do need to get a move on.”
We hugged again and then I turned. Renaldo was standing there. “Come on, let's go make a few more commercials and then get home.”
“You are so nice to them.”
“They're great people.”
We went out and got in the Suburban. I pulled out my phone as I drove, “Hello?”
“Mrs Watson?”
“Yes.”
“This is Jake Martin.”
“Oh, hi Jake!”
“Would it be possible for me to come by the house for about twenty minutes?”
“Sure.”
“I'd like to show a few of my friends the place and do a little filming of a commercial.”
“A commercial!”