O.K., the usual warnings apply: This story contains sex between males of consenting age, and if your state or country does not allow such material to be read, or you are offended by male-on-male sex and you are under the age of 18, please leave this story now.
This story is the property of the Author and copying whole are in part is only permitted with the Author's written consent. And is subject to copyright©2013 David Spowart all rights reserved
"Please don't leave me"
By
David Spowart
Edited by
J Matlock
I stood by the gravesite, watching my best friend grieve beside his heartbroken mother and sister. His father had been killed at work; a stupid accident that had seen his family crushed.
My name is Jimmy Lupo, and at the time of these events in 2009, I was 17yrs of age, and living in Boston. My best friend, Phil, short for Philias, his dad being a huge Jules Verne fan, `Around the World in 80 Days' his favorite. But I call him Phil, or just plain P.
Anyway, I could see Phil was struggling with his pain, so I walked over and stood next to him. His eyes were rubbed raw, the tears still struggling to stay contained.
The priest was saying words that were foreign to me; a church goer I am not.
Phil is a year younger than me, and the problem I am having at the moment is that his family moved here 3 years ago because of his dad's job. No job, no home, so his family would be moving away and it's killing me.
Phil is not just any friend, I love him. Not as a friend or brother, I just plain old love him; and it will hurt badly when he leaves.
I knew the first time I met P, that I would be his friend. His cheeky manner and his carefree attitude had me at hello. I was 16 when I felt more than friendship. I don't really know how to describe it, it's hard to explain. I had tried dating girls, but nothing rocked my world if you know what I mean. I jacked off on a daily basis; and the thing that always got me off was the thought of P.
A couple of days pass by and I still had not talked to him face to face. I have texted and talked on my cell; but face to face, no. He told me they were leaving the following day, and I tried so very hard to hold things in. I failed, once he hung up. I walked over to his house. A U-Haul was parked in his driveway, and my heart sank.
"Hi J, are you going to give us a hand?" Emily, his sister, said, as I walked up the driveway.
"Hey, Em, is Philias in?" I ask.
"So, no then?" she laughed.
"Sorry, yeah, I can help" I replied.
"He's upstairs, boxing his stuff up" she replied, and I ruffled her hair and walked into the house and climbed the stairs to his room.
I found him thumbing through some old albums of photos, with his dad in most of them.
"Hey Jimmy" he said, brushing a tear away as he placed the book into a carton.
"Hey, you okay?" I asked, placing a hand on his shoulder and his tears began to flow. He buried his head into my shoulder and It took a hell of a lot of control not to break down myself; but I had to be there just for him.
"Sorry, man" he said, pulling away and standing up and picked up some more stuff to pack away.
"P, you never have to say sorry to me, not for anything, okay?" I replied, and meant every single word I was saying.
"Fuck, Jimmy, I am going to miss you so much" he said, and again I pulled him close as I stood up. I couldn't help it, my heart was breaking.
We sat and just talked; him remembering things about his dad, and me, just being his ear. I loved the tone of his voice; it was a nice, deep quality, well deep for a 16yr old, anyway.
His mother shouted us down for our last meal together; and, at the end of the night, I embraced him and said I would see him before they left the following morning.
I just lay on my bed, but could not sleep; the thought of losing P was enough to cause me insomnia. I could not even contemplate being alone; well, not alone. I had a large circle of friends; but none were Philias James Turner, my best friend, my soul mate.
The sun came up and blasted through my bedroom window. I dressed and headed downstairs. My mother was cooking breakfast and she could see that I had the appearance of carrying the world's woes on my shoulders.
"Good morning, Honey" she said, as I took my seat.
"Morning, Mom; that smells nice" I said, as she had the bacon press in the frying pan. Eggs were scrambled in a serving dish and the toast had just popped out of the toaster. Coffee was brewing and orange juice was in a jug on the table; my mother could cook.
"What time do the Turners leave?" she asked.
I looked at the wall clock and sighed.
"In about an hour or so" I replied.
"It's a shame, I liked them" she replied. If she only knew what them leaving was doing to me.
I ate my breakfast, answering mundane questions that were being asked. My father had already left for work, and that pleased me a little. Don't get me wrong, I loved my family; but dad has an uncanny knack of seeing right through people. He would see that I was troubled and probe until I caved and spilled my feelings. My mother would just let it be. If I had something to say, she would just wait until I caved and ran crying to my room. Me being gay, yes I have come out to myself; I suspected as much, anyway. P turned me on so much, it was the only explanation.
"You going to say good bye to them?" she asked.
"Yes...Mom, I am going to miss hi...them" I corrected.
"I know, honey; you will see each other when you get a little older" she tried to cheer me up, but failed.
"I know" I replied, and left to go say good bye to my world.
Mrs Turner was placing the last of the boxes into the U-Haul and I smiled as I approached,
"He's inside Jimmy, locking things up. Can you ask your mother to keep the keys until the leasing agent comes around?" she asked.
"Sure.. no problem" I replied as P walked out and locked the front door. Em was sitting in the back seat, playing some video game as P approached me.
"So this is it, then" I said with my hands in my front pockets, my blond hair covering part of my face; hopefully not showing how crushed I was. My blue eyes a little red from crying through the night.
"Yeah, I'm going to miss you, Jimmy; you don't know how much" he said, and embraced me a little tighter than he usually did.
I looked into his hazel eyes but could not work out what was going through his mind. He could see mine and knew I was hurt.
"We will see each other again, Jimmy, I promise you" he said.
"Philias, I need for you to know something. I might never get a chance to tell you how much you mean to me" I started with a low sob.
"Jimmy, I know, man; trust me, I know" he interrupted.
"No, P, you don't" I replied.
He leaned into me and placed his mouth next to my ear and whispered, "Oh, dear Jimmy, I do" he said, and kissed my cheek as he pulled away. He climbed into the passenger side of his mother's car. His mother handed me the keys and climbed into her car.
"Take care of your family, Jimmy" she said, as she started the engine and backed out of her driveway. I watched as my heart continued to break as they drove down the street, turned the corner and vanished.
From that point, I would drift apart from Philias. We started talking via cell for the next few months; but soon, they dried up. I would send him a text and he would take a few days to reply; soon, even the calls stopped, and he was out of my life. I, however, still loved him.
2013
So, here I am, four years later, standing over Troy Turner's grave, putting flowers on it. Four years to the day he was buried. I have always hoped P would make the trip to do this, but he never has. I have received the yearly birthday card from his mother, from both of them; but nothing personal. I, however, sent him cards.
I walked back to my car and drove back into town, toward my family home. I had moved out just a year earlier. I told my parents I was gay a couple of years ago, and, for the most part, they were okay with it. Okay, my dad had some issues at first, but came around.
I have, over the past few years, had the occasional relationship with some good guys, but the problem was always the same; I held them up to compare with Philias, and they soon ended, usually with the old "It's not you, it's me" speech, and it was the correct speech.
I opened the door and was engulfed by my Mother, with a tear in her eye. My dad shook my hand, but would never hug me; he used to, but not now.
"So, how's college life?" dad asked. I had enrolled at the University of California just over a year ago. I inherited some money from my Grandfather and bought a place off campus, and I loved the place... it was mine.
"Busy, hectic, you know what it's like" I replied as I hung up my coat and sat at the dinner table as my dad poured me a welcome cup of coffee.
"And how's David?" mom asked, and I realized I had not told them that David moved out and I was again single.
"In Chicago" I replied.
"Visiting his folks?" dad asked.
"Living there" I replied, and that ended that conversation.
"Ohh, sorry, honey" Mom ended the conversation as I thought it would.
We talked at length; dad had been promoted at work and mom had interests with a local church group, helping out at homeless shelters. She loves mothering, and she missed doing it for me.
I went to my old room and couldn't help but look out of my old bedroom window at the house now occupied by a new family; the house that once held my world. I could still see P in my head, walking down the short drive and turning toward my home. That brought a smile to my face, and a twitch in other places.
A couple of days later, I was back on the road, heading back to California. I left my rental car at the airport and eventually headed back to where I now called home.
A few days after I arrived back at my apartment, I received a letter; one I had hoped to get for the past few years. It had been forwarded by my mother.
I opened it up and began to read it.
"Long time no write" it started.
"Jimmy, I am sorry I allowed us to lose touch. I had some issues I needed to resolve, and now, I believe I have done that. I am hoping this letter finds you well. I have tried calling, but you have changed your cell number" I read on, cursing myself for changing my provider.
"It has taken me some time and courage to try and reconnect with someone I thought of as a brother" I continued and it pained me to still think he only thought of me as a brother.
"Jimmy, I have missed you so much I get a pain in my chest when I think of you" I cried a little.
"Okay, some updates: my mother has remarried. I know, shock, right? He is great and is amazing to my mom. His name is Peter Lund and is a Lecturer at UCLA" I stopped reading. Shit! P is in California and his step dad is a lecturer at my school. I do not know him, but...Fuck!!!! P is in California.
"I take the odd class with him and he's an amazing teacher" he went on. Fuck, Philias is not only in California, but going to school here. He's fucking here" I screamed like a love torn girl. I would go to the student directory and find him.
I continued reading the letter with a smile on my face, and re-read it over and over again. I went the following day to the general office and found Philias Turner's name. It was true, he was here, he is here.
I still wondered what the issues were that he had. I wondered if they were the same issues that I had been through. Fuck, I could only hope. If I knew he was 100% hetero, I could move on, or try to, at least.
I walked toward a class I found out he was taking. I, however was missing mine. I waited on a park bench, sunglasses on, and a UCLA baseball cap pulled down and waited for him to come out. I would recognise him straight away, and I did.
He walked out, a little taller now. He was walking hand in hand with a blond girl; my heart dropped. It hurt just to see him, but seeing him hand in hand with a girl hurt me more than I thought it would.
I watched as they walked by, not noticing me.
"Phil, hold up, dude" I heard someone yell from behind me; and a guy ran up and walked away from me. I took off my glasses and watched him walk away...again!!
I started to stand up and walk away when I heard someone say, not loud, but loud enough;
"Jimmy" I turned, and P was standing there, looking at me with a beleaguered look on his face. The girl standing next to him looked confused.
"Hey P, you look good" I respond.
"Jimmy, I cannot believe you are here, man" he said with a little emotion.
"I wrote you" he said, and I nodded.
"Yeah, Mom forwarded it to me, I got it yesterday" I replied, and he moved a little closer.
"Can we talk?" he asked.
"Phil, I will see you later on, okay babe?" the girl said and smiled at me.
"Yeah Susan, thanks. I do need to talk to him. See you in study hall" he said, not taking his eyes off of me.
"Come on Tony, leave them be" she said, wrapping her arm inside the other guys and trotted off.
"Coffee shop?" I asked.
"I want to talk in private, so, we can go to my dorm; my roommate should still be out" he replied.
"I live off campus, I have my own place" I replied, he smiled and nodded a little.
"My car is just around the corner" I added.
Twenty minutes later, we arrived back at my apartment; no words spoken on the way over.
"Beer" I asked, and he replied, "Yeah thanks"
"Issues" I said and waited.
"Sorry, what?" he replied.
"Your letter said you stopped all contact with me because of issues" I responded.
"Are you seeing anyone?" he blurted out.
"What? I haven't seen your ass in almost four years and you ask me that?" I said, scornfully.
"Part of my issues...sorry" he replied.
"No, I am not dating, but I can see that you are" I replied, a little harshly.
"What...no...no, I am not. Susan is just a good friend" he scorns back at me.
"A good friend, or a very good friend" hoping he got my meaning.
He didn't reply; he just inspected my carpet and stayed silent for a while.
"I put some flowers on your dad's grave when I went home" I said, hoping to break the ice again.
"Thank you, man, I appreciate that" he replied, and his hazel eyes glistened with moisture as a tear was falling down his cheek.
I went over to him, beer in hand, and sat next to him on my sofa. He was still a little emotional, and I could feel him breathing a little heavier.
"P, why is this awkward? I mean, we have been friends for years. Okay, we lost touch, but this shouldn't be awkward" I said, as he turned to look at me.
"I've missed you, man" he replied, and I sat up. I looked into his eyes and I couldn't help myself, I pulled him into a hug.
"P, you have no idea" I replied, smelling his scent.
He pulled back a little and looked at my eyes, as mine were as moist as his. He moved a little closer and lightly kissed my lips; he pulled back as he realized what he had done.
I stood up, grabbed his arm and pulled him back into my arms.
"Shit P, you have no idea how long I have waited for you to do that" I replied, and he pulled back and stared at me, looking for any signs of deceit.
"But...But Jimmy I" he stuttered.
"Philias Turner, I tried to tell you how I felt the day you left" I said softly, as he listened.
"I just thought you were going to miss our friendship, and I felt the same" he replied.
"No, I was going to tell you I loved you; but you left" I replied.
"Jimmy, when we arrived back in LA, I realized I loved you; but how does a 16yr old cope with that realization? I couldn't. It was easier just to ignore it and hope it went away, but it didn't" he said.
"I tried dating girls; that didn't work. Mom realized I was unhappy, and I told her when I turned 17. I told her how I felt about you, but that I never told you" he went on, and I could sense a lot of hope.
"So, you are gay, then?" I asked, and he nodded and I smiled.
"And you, did you date?" he asked, my hand still holding his.
"I had a couple, David was my last. I had one major hang up, or as you said it, issues" I replied.
"Oh, what" he asked, I leaned into him, taking his lips onto mine.
"They were not you" I replied, and he smiled.
I put my hand behind his head and pulled him tight to my lips. My tongue probed his mouth as his probed mine. Our breathing became frantic as I slid my hand inside his shirt and brushed over his abs. His skin was sensitive to my touch.
I stood up and held out my hand.
"Where are we going?" he asked.
"I want to make love to you; I need to make love to you" I said, and he smiled a little apprehensively.
"Jimmy, I sort of top; I've never bottomed" he replied, with a little more apprehension.
"P, trust me you will love it, and if this between us is going to work, well, we need to be a little versatile. I have been both and love both" I responded, and he took my hand and we went to my bedroom.
I opened the door and led him through. I stopped and started undoing his shirt. I pulled the shirt off of his shoulders, admiring his sun varnished skin. I leaned in and lightly nibbled at his nipples.
"Mmmmmm, fuck that feels so good" P moaned out.
"I've wanted to taste you for as long as I can remember" I whispered between nibbles, licks and sucks.
I licked his jawline and his neck. I licked his armpits and went wild with lust and want as I did so.
"Fuck, Philias, you taste so good" I grunted in a low voice.
I pushed him onto the bed and climbed on to it myself. I again licked at his abs as I undid his trousers. He was hard as nails and the outline of his cock did not require any imagination.
I tugged his trousers off and pulled down his boxer briefs. His cock was a very good size; enough to make your mouth or your ass know it has been there.
I licked the head and savored the taste.
"Fuck Jimmy, the amount of times I have jacked that thing thinking of you doing what you are doing; fuck!!" he moaned, as I took more of him inside my mouth.
"The times I have jacked off thinking of what I am doing" I smiled, and again engulfed his cock back into my mouth.
"Jimmy, the time I have waited for this, I am afraid I won't last long" he moaned.
"I don't care, P, this is just the start; if you cum, you cum" I informed him, and he just nodded, watching me savor his cock, and the pre-cum coating my lips as I did so.
I took him as deep as I could manage. I could never get a guy down my throat, but I wanted to for P; I needed for him to cum for me. I didn't want to ever waste a single drop. I took a deep breath and just went for it. I gagged and thought I would hurl; I pulled back and again went for it. I took him to the back of my throat and swallowed; I took him past my throat muscles and again gagged.
I continued and was very determined to deep throat him; and eventually, I did. My eyes were streaming as I took him inside my throat. My gag reflex eventually relaxed and I took him easier with each stroke.
"Fuck!!!!!!!!!!! Jimmmmmmmmmmmmmmy" he moaned and I knew he was cumming. I pulled off of him so I could taste him. I wanted to savor his essence; I needed the thrill I had desired for so long. I yearned for the flavor of Philias Turner, and I was not disappointed; his cum was everything I thought it would be.
"Fuck, P, you taste so fucking good" I moaned, as I cleaned his deflating cock. My tongue made him twitch, as the sensitivity was very evident when I licked him clean.
"Jimmy, wow...fuck wow...fuck" he moaned as he sat back up, planting his lips on mine and tasting himself on me. He smiled as he kissed me and a wicked look came over him; a little dark, I thought to myself.
"My turn" he smirked as he pushed me over and straddled me. He ripped open my shirt and that sent a bolt of electricity to my ever growing groin.
"Easy, tiger" I snickered just a little.
"Easy? No fucking way, J. I have lusted after you for years. I didn't know it then, but fuck, I know what I want; and J, what I want is you, beside me, in me, on me. Fuck, I need you doing all of those things" he insisted, as he now attacked my jeans.
"P, if you don't slow down I am going to blow my wad before you get my briefs off of me" I informed him and he slowed, but only a little.
He soon had my cock inside his mouth.
"Fuck!!!!!!!!!!!" I yelled out, and, at this moment, pleased I was the only person occupying this floor, and more grateful I was not in a dorm.
"Hmmm, you like?" he smirked and again attacked my cock. He lightly scraped his teeth along my length, and that almost had me losing it.
Unlike me, he had no problem taking cock into his throat; I was in cock heaven. Neither David, nor any of my previous partners could do this; but, like me, I think Phil wanted to do this for me.
"Ohhhhh Fuck!!!!!!!" I came hard and powerfully. I shot stream upon stream of jizz deep inside Philias's throat. Like me, he pulled off slightly so he could also taste me. I liked his essence, and by the way he is attacking the head of my length, he also enjoyed my flavor.
He soon pulled off and climbed back up, engaging his lips and tongue with mine.
"Mhhmm, I liked that very much, P; we will most definitely be doing that on a regular basis" I informed him, and he smiled at me.
"Oh fuck the hell yes" he replied.
After the energy was drained from our very fast exertion, we both cuddled and soon drifted off to sleep. I dreamed of happier times ahead. We both woke to the sound of music coming from downstairs; not loud, just a hint of Bob Marley. Yeah, loud at first, but soon turned down to an acceptable level.
"Hey" I whispered, and P turned and looked at me.
"You are real. I thought I had dreamed you again" he whispered back, brushing the blond hair out of my eyes.
"Why the fuck were we so stupid, J? We could have been together for the past few years. Okay, when dad died, I would have still moved with Mom and Em; but I would have moved heaven and earth to get back. Instead, we denied each other" he said, and my heart remembered how it was when he left.
"I tried, ...remember?" I responded.
"Sixteen, J" he replied, and I nodded.
"Phil, promise me something" I said.
"Only if you stop calling me Phil. P or Philias, I don't mind it so much, now" he replied.
"Philias" I responded.
"Okay, what?" he added.
"Promise me you will never leave me again. The last time, it almost killed me. Don't leave me" I said, and a tear slid down my cheek as I lay my heart wide open.
"Jimmy Lupo, listen to me and hear me well. I love you, and most important, I am in love with you" he replied, and I leaned in and kissed his lips and pulled him close.
"Philias, I know it sounds very cliché, but you complete me. I am nothing unless you are a part of me. It hurt me every day that I never saw you, and now a weight has been lifted from me. I never want to feel those feelings ever again" I replied. I was sobbing at this point and he pulled me close to him.
"I Love you, Philias" I said.
"Move in with me" I added.
"Jimmy, I already have" he replied.
We took our time, but we made love to each other for the next several hours. We were both sore the following day, but it was a soreness that was very welcome. We made love for several days, only getting out of bed to use the bathroom or to order take out. The sex was mind blowing and I knew I had regained my soul mate.
The End????
Okay guys another one of my short stories that might give hope to those who have loved and lost or hope to regain...never give up... I might at some point in the future pop in and see how Philias and Jimmy are getting on. Comments as usual at davidspowart3@hotmail.com or Tweet @DavidSpowart
And for those of you who have only just found my stories, they are all listed using my full name David Spowart, and can be found in Authors, and please comment.
David