POOR WHITE TRASH By Scotty Yates
After a long time and a lot of other things happening, I have decided to follow up on the posting of this story. Hope you enjoy.
If you are to young and all those other things, then don't go any further. This story is a work of fiction, and any resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental. This story deals with mature subject matter of a homosexual nature. It is not advised to allow minors to view or read this material.
Reproduction of this material is prohibited without the written consent of the author which can be obtained by requesting, through e-mail, such permission. Please include any pertinent details when making such a request.
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CHAPTER 14
I awoke to the warmth of the sun cascading over my naked body. Well, to be honest I was naked but covered by the sheets. It felt so good to feel the warm glow covering me as I lay there under those nice soft sheets.
Well actually, I wasn't quite awake. I hadn't opened my eyes yet, and was in that euphoric state between sleep and being totally alert. Surely you know what I mean? Don't you wake up that way? Or are you one of those that just pop up (sorry about the pun) in the early morning? Well, I don't! Well, I do depending on what you're talking about!
I usually come out of a night's sleep very slowly. I just kind of slowly drift into life. If I drank coffee, I guess you would call it that drowsy state between waking and full-blown life before you have had your first morning caffeine fix. Anyway, I hadn't opened my eyes yet, and was just kind of lying their collecting my wits. Although my body wasn't fully awake, my mind was in top form. As I lay there on my nice soft bed, reveling in the softness of the sheets, my thoughts began to crystallize.
I knew it was Saturday morning, the day of my pa's wedding to Mrs. Johnson (at noon and then a picnic reception afterwards). I also knew it was going to be a really busy day. Not only were we going to have to do our farm work, but also I needed to clean up the house one final time, and do my laundry. I didn't want Mrs. Johnson to come home to a dirty house. It was hard enough having only two men living in a house, and I sure didn't want her to get a bad impression of us right from the beginning.
All my clothes were dirty, and the laundry needed to be done so I could pack some clothes for a couple of days stay over at Jason's. I also would need to do Pa's clothes. Saturday mornings were the normal day for us to do the standard housecleaning things, as we were normally busy during the week with work on the farm and school. Pa had arranged for me to stay with Jason and his wife for a couple of nights so he and Mrs. Johnson could have a "honeymoon".
Some honeymoon! The fabulous Cantrell Hotel and Resort! Well, maybe if you are a fly, you could call our place a resort, but by most people's standards, including mine, it was pretty poor. Don't get me wrong here. Just because I thought it was pretty poor, doesn't mean I was ashamed of it or anything like that. I just knew it wasn't up to the standards of a lot of other people. It was all we could do to make ends meet. I must admit it had been a lot better with all the kids gone, and we had had a couple of years of good crops. Although by comparison to the Johnson place, ours was in much better condition. Aren't I a snob!
Gary and his brothers were going to continue staying at their place until Monday evening when they were supposed to move into our house. God, I am dreading that! No more private times! From now on, until I left for college in the fall I would have someone in the room with me. I just hoped things went as planned between Pa and I to have me share a room with a couple of Gary's little brothers. I was sure I could handle the younger two boys, Nick and Peter, as they were only 8 and 10. The other two boys, Mark and Matthew, were 13 and 16. I had told Pa I thought it would be good to have an older boy in each room to try and keep the rough housing down at night. I just knew I didn't want to be in a room alone with Gary. I was still afraid he would want to try and do something with me and I wasn't interested at all.
I was also somewhat leery of Mark and Matthew. Not for any particular reason, as I had never heard any thing about them and any of their escapades, but I just didn't want to take the chance. It would just be a lot easier all around to have the two youngest in with me. With this arrangement, both Gary and I would have full size beds and the other two boys in each room would have bunk beds. At least I wouldn't have to sleep with any of them. We had plenty of beds. Since the girls and other boys in my family had all left home there was also plenty of chest space for them to use for their stuff. If they were anything like me, they wouldn't have that many clothes anyway.
With Gary and his brothers around, I would have to be a lot more modest in my dress. With the leaving of the girls, it wasn't unusual for me to walk around the house naked. Well, I didn't do it routinely, but whenever Pa was gone or late at night when I would get up to go to the bathroom behind the kitchen I would just go in the nude. Also, now I would have to return to sleeping in my shorts. Why couldn't Pa have just waited until I went away to college? Things would be so much simpler and easier to deal with until then.
College! It hit me like a brick! I really did need to make up my mind on which college I was planning on attending. The decision on where I was going to go had to be made very soon. The schools would only hold my place for a limited amount of time, which was rapidly closing. There are a lot of poor, but smart kids out there beside myself deserving the opportunity to get a good education. I had been very lucky having received 4 separate full scholarships.
It all boiled down to Brandon! I knew I was still having a difficult time making up my mind because of my feelings for Brandon. Why couldn't I let him go? Why does he consume all my thoughts? I just wanted to be close to him. To be able to see him. To touch him. If I did somehow make the decision to go to Florida State, I was going to have to be very careful; otherwise I might get arrested for stalking him. Honestly, I don't think it would have happened, as I am a lot smarter than that.
I keep wishing and hoping for some way to be around him without being so obvious. Why couldn't I come up with a way to be his friend? I knew being considered one of the poor white trash in our town made everything work against me. Why couldn't I come up with some way, which would allow me to be his friend? There just seemed to be no viable solution I was going to be able to associate with him even if I did chose to go to Florida State. We were definitely not running in the same circles. Not only wouldn't we be in the same circles, but also I would be a freshman and he a sophomore. How could I even imagine he would want to associate with me even if I weren't poor white trash? Maybe it would be best if I did choose a school as far away from him as possible. I need to make up my mind and soon!
Jason and I were supposed to come over and do the chores, but we had been given specific instructions to stay out of the house. Pa had told me I should put the milk on the back porch when we were finished milking and he or Mrs. Johnson would take care of it. We didn't want to throw it away, and he felt they could take out that much time to take care of the milk. I bet you had no idea I could milk a cow. Yep, I can do that! Now you know why I am so good at jerking off. Strong hands and fingers. After finishing the chores, we were supposed to go back over to Jason's place. On Monday, since I knew the routine, I was to head back over to our house and begin the farm work after breakfast. When Pa got up and had breakfast, he would come out and help me. I could bring my stuff with me when I came over in the morning, and then I would have lunch at home for the first time with Pa and Mrs. Johnson. Note to self, you are going to have to start calling Mrs. Johnson something other than that. What? Oh well, we will cross that bridge when we get to it.
We had it all arranged. Pa was sure going to enjoy himself.
I was really dreading when Gary and his brothers were going to move in. I liked Gary, but I always thought he had something other than being friends on his mind when he looked at me. I must admit Gary had turned into a really nice looking young man. He was older than I, by about a month or so. He was about the same height and weight. I had seen him at school in the showers and would guess we were probably equipped just about like, except he was cut. I, of course, had never seen him hard, but was only guessing about his size. He had white blonde hair and blue eyes. His eyes were nothing like Brandon's. I knew most of the girls thought he was really handsome. On numerous occasions I had heard the girls drooling over him. Of course, they seemed to drool over anyone who was handsome. I mean you should have heard them talking about Brandon. He was handsome, well built, smart, and rich! He had just about everything you could want in a guy. So I was like the rest of the girls dreaming about a guy, I could never have.
As for Gary, I couldn't for the life of me think of any girl he had dated more than once, and he never bragged about getting laid like the rest of the boys. I often wondered why he wasn't doing the same as most of the other poor white trash boys in getting himself laid as often as he could and then getting himself married when he found the right one. He sure seemed like he was following more in my footsteps than of the normal poor white trash boys. As I thought about him, I realized he was a very handsome young man. He had a good head on his shoulders, in both ways. If I hadn't been totally and completely in love with Brandon, I could really go for him. That is of course assuming he weas gay. Look at me talking. Here I am in love with Brandon and don't even have a clue about him being gay.
Brandon! I thought to myself, `Billy Joe, you are definitely going to have to get over these dreams or fantasies you keep creating in your mind about Brandon. It seems like every night you come up with a new dream about him. Why don't you just let him go? I mean he is straight as can be, good looking (no he is beautiful), rich, and he doesn't even give you the time of day. He would have nothing to do with you, anyway. You are nothing but poor white trash, so get it through that thick head of yours.'
My mind began focusing in on the dream I had built up in my head during the night. I knew it had been an awesome one, as I could still feel the effects of my activities even now as I lay there enjoying the early morning sun striking my naked body. (Oh yeah, remember to make a note, no more sleeping in the nude with those Johnson boys around. Damn!) This had to be the most detailed and best dream my subconscious mind had developed yet. No it wasn't unusual for my subconscious to develop such dreams about Brandon. It seemed like it was an every night occurrence. I thought to myself, `Billy Joe, you should write a book about your dreams, that is if you could just remember them all. That is some imagination you have there.'
It had seemed so real. The previous dreams had all felt real, but they were only that. Just dreams! Just like this one. Incorporating all that stuff about your family, school, and your own personal life, which was all-true, had made this dream seem so much more realistic and alive. In my mind, I kept thinking it was going to be difficult for me to come up with a better dream than this one. It was so hard to discern when reality and dreams came into play. Well, not so hard after all.
Brandon being in love with you, and being gay was definitely a dream. The scene on the beach and in his condo (does his family even own a condo?) is a masterpiece. You haven't pulled that sequence into one of your dreams previously. Him watching you as you swam nude in the river, or him having all those photos of you. Those are new concepts also. Have to incorporate those again.
My mind went back to the beach and both of us lying there on the beach. The part of the dream where Brandon tells you about how much and how long he has loved you was awesome. His telling you all about growing up wanting you to be with him, and how he wanted to protect and keep you is also a new one. Is it possible for a 7 year old to fall in love with someone? The part of the dream where he told you about school and what he did to get information on you was totally unreal. As I thought about my dream, I began to wonder if it could have really happened as he had said. I do remember a lot of pictures being taken of me, but nothing out of the ordinary. His telling you he had seen you naked when you went skinny-dipping was impossible wasn't it? That just couldn't have happened.
I could still see in my mind the two of us lying there on the beach. It had felt so real to feel his lips on mine. To feel our tongues dancing WOW! Those were the best jerk off sessions yet. Some of your best work! But all a dream! Only a dream!
Throwing in Gary's declaration of love for you was also another masterful piece of imagination. Like how many times has he even talked to you over the last four years? I bet your total conversations with him have consisted of 7 words. Like, hi, how are you?' Fine.' "Doing great!' as you walk down the hallway at school or in town. I know there have been discussions in classes, but those don't count as conversations.
And how about the part Mrs. Deveraux being your Aunt? Now that is really a new one! Where in the world did that come from? As a matter of fact, I should ask pa about mom's relatives. There has never been any discussion about her having any relatives and certainly not Mrs. Deveraux being her sister. Surely some comments would have been made about that at least sometime during your life if it had been true. Maybe something had been said, and it was your subconscious bringing it forward. Need to check that out.
Wow! That bit about being won in a pool game was the best scenario you have imagined yet about Brandon and you getting together. Now that was really good! But you have to be realistic, Billy Joe, pa would never take a bet like that and he surely wouldn't lose to Brandon. The county champion for 15 years losing to a beginner like Brandon! Even if he does know how to play pool, which is doubtful, that couldn't happen. Another thing wrong with your dream, YOU DUNCE, is that pa would never have worked with Brandon. Not in a million years! I would bet your life pa has no concept of your being gay.
Gay! My mind then took a new tangent. It is really hard to be gay. You can't come out and tell a guy you like him like a guy can with a girl. Unless he is also gay, which is extremely unlikely, aren't there some statistics about that. If 10 out of 100 are gay and half of them are women, then you only have 4 chances out of every 100 people you meet to find someone who is also gay. That means out of our town there are maybe 25 guys, I doubt if there are that many, which are gay. Eliminate all the ones that are too old or too young, which only leaves maybe two or three left over to choose from. Nope, better just keep quiet or you will probably get yourself beat up. Guys who like girls have it so easy. What is so hard about walking up to a girl, making friends with her, telling her you like her and asking her out for a date? You know what you are dealing with. Can you do that with guys? No!
With a guy you not only have to make friends, but you have to determine whether he also likes guys. That segment alone can be extremely hard given how hard most guys try to hid how they truly feel behind a false front. Just think of how hard you have worked to cover up you feelings. No, it is not easy being gay.
Just as my mind finished this thought, the alarm bells started going off and screaming in my head!