My thanks to all who continue to encourage me and especially to J.O. Dickingson (Brewster Boy stories in the Incest Section).
November Thanks
The ground is cold and hard. That one-week of cold weather sapped all the warmth absorbed during our hot summer. The bark of the tree jabs my back as the cold of the ground invades my butt and my feet. I ought to be miserable, but I'm not.
The sun is slowly spreading its red and yellow glow over the trees and the stubble of dead grass and weeds. The white wisps of fog follow the creek bed and hover over the lower ditches and holes still holding some of yesterday's rain. Won't be able to hear that much, not with the ground soaked and the leaves limp. My eyes dart the area looking for movement, looking for my deer to show up.
"My ass is frozen and my toes are almost numb, hurry up Mark lets get a move on." My brother Bill is always impatient. He and Jay, a friend from school, are standing at the truck. I know they have just gotten there, otherwise the truck would be running and they would be in the cab warming up.
"Well get the heater going dummy, what are you learning at college, Bitching 102?"
Jay laughs and Bill shoots me the finger, brotherly love I suppose. At one time I idolized him, 5 years older, always taller and stronger. Maybe I still do cause I can't stay mad at him or even return his bitching in full force, but I also want to challenge him. Course now, I'm taller, probably not as strong, but getting there. At 6'3" I look down on him, but not much. He is fuller, more bulk, especially the face now that he sports a moustache and goatee, something mother is not too happy about.
"What are you smiling about?" Bill asks as we pile into the truck. He puts the key in the ignition and starts the engine. Cold air blasts us from the vents as he revves the engine trying to hurry the heating process.
"Just the way mother looked when she saw your beard. I've never seen her lips thin so much trying to put on a happy face for Jay. Good thing you were with him Jay, otherwise he might have really got a talking to." I stretch my hands towards the vents hoping to feel some warmth.
"Is that why you brought me? Keep the motherly reaction down to a minimum?" Jay laughs. For a skinny, lanky guy, he has a deep voice. It's a shock to hear it coming from him. He's sandwiched between Bill and me - his decision, he said it made sense since he was shorter, which it did and which he is, probably only 5'9".
Bill puts the truck into gear and starts turning around. "Hell no, just didn't want you to be alone on campus. There won't be anyone in Weatherford except the foreigners; you may be a Pollock and strange, but you ain't a foreigner."
I look over at my brother, wondering if he is joking or if there is some prejudice I've never noticed before. Of course in western Oklahoma there's not too much to be prejudiced against. Liberals, city folks, liberals, politicians, liberals, those cute but dumb Hollywood people who don't know reality, liberals, but, maybe I repeat myself. Nothing of a personal nature, nothing right there that has a human face. Well nothing they know about anyway. If they knew I was gay, well then, they'd have something personal to despise.
I wonder just how much college is changing my brother. Would I know? We've never been close. And Jay, or is it "J." standing for some Polish name? Wonder how they became friends.
The air is turning warm and I start feeling just how cold I am as my skin starts to "burn" as it warms up. Can't be that cold outside, suppose to be only in the lower 40's.
"Want to come back out later and check signs? Maybe see if the deer are active at one of the other sites?"
"Not me," Bill says. "If you and Jay want to fine, but I want to call some people. There should be a party or something going on tonight for us to go to. And the game starts at 2:30."
I know the "us" means him and Jay but that's fine. I don't know his friends anyway. And that has been the pattern since he went off to school, checking with friends and such, more time spent with them than with us. At lest this year he's joined me out hunting.
Jay's the first to hit the shower. We always let the guest use up the hot water. Bill and I sit down at the kitchen table with our parents. I've got my hands wrapped around a cup of coffee - yes, I'd like a little coffee with my milk please - letting my fingers leach the heat out of the cup, my head bent over letting the steam wrap around my face.
"How was it?" my father asks.
"Cold, miserable, didn't see a thing," Bill responds.
"So, going out again tomorrow morning?" my mother asks.
"Course, gotta get my buck," Bill and I both respond.
The shower was great although the hot water didn't last long enough. Feeling renewed, I head down stairs to the family room. The TV is on, a fire is blazing in the fireplace and Jay is in the recliner. "Where is everyone?" I ask.
Jay stretches and yawns, "Bill's in the shower, your mother went shopping I think. Maybe your dad too. I didn't notice." He rests his hands behind his head and stares at the TV.
I stretch out on the couch. Jay's T is short, leaving his stomach bare. He's even more hairy than I am. He's got sweat pants on so I can't tell much more about him. This is the first time I've really looked at him, at least looked at his body. Lanky is not the right term for him. Maybe wiry would be correct.
He doesn't have the muscles of a Brandon or even a Jason. The fire casts shadows over his bare stomach. No, nothing like Brandon or Jason.
Brandon and Jason, neither one has said much to me since Halloween. Jason seems too scared which is good. He should have known better than to mess around out in the open where someone could see. And Brandon, I think he is still pissed at me for doing something so stupid, even though I told him it wasn't my fault.
He just has this frown on his face when he sees me.
His hand is moving in little circles, brushing the hairs, then fingers slip beneath his sweat pants. I jerk my head up - "Sorry, just about fell asleep, did you say something?" Jay is looking at me.
"Hey, what are you watching?" Bill asks as he plops down. Without waiting for a response, he picks up the phone and starts to dial. I look back at Jay but he has the remote, running through the channels.
There are 6 of us for Thanksgiving Dinner, my parents, Bill, Jay, my sister and me. Dad smoked the turkey breast, there is spinach salad, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes with the brown sugar & pecan topping, the green beans thing with onion rings and mushroom soup, corn and jalapeno stuff that's pretty good. I'd hoped for something special though since we had company. Guess Jay didn't count enough to go to any effort. For desert we did have pecan and pumpkin pies as well as the chocolate fudge cake so it wasn't a total loss. The game however was. Dallas just doesn't seem to have it in them. By half time I was in no mood to watch any more.
"Hey, let's go check out the deer runs, it's got to be better than this game." I lob the comment out not caring who catches it just like an Aikman pass.
"I'm too stuffed, and I need to make some calls. You want to go check them out Jay?" my brother asks.
"Sure, why not. As long as we don't stay out too long." Jay looks at me with a strange look in his eye.
"You have to drive, so I suppose we will come back when you are ready. I'll go get my boots." I jump up from the couch and head to my room.
"Don't put them on in the house and be sure to take your gloves," mother yells from the kitchen.
When I get to the door, Jay is waiting. We walk out to the truck and climb in.
"You'll have to navigate, I wasn't pay too much attention this morning. Still waking up," Jays says, smiling.
"Sure thing. We'll take the section road west a mile then back north for a couple of miles." I smile back then stare out the window at the barren trees and the yellow grass.
"How did you and my brother get to know each other?" I don't know why I asked, but I was curious.
"Same dorm floor last year. We all got to know each other pretty well. Hell, almost everyone on the floor last year requested the same floor this year. Only a couple of guys didn't make it. Most of the rest are kind of glad they didn't. Thought those two were a little too different. You planning on going to Southwestern to start off?"
"Don't know, haven't thought about it. Sounds like you're planning on changing schools soon?"
"Yeah, probably transfer to Stillwater. Your mom's a prof there right?"
"Yep, a good reason for Bill and me to go somewhere else. Has Bill said where he might go?"
"Don't you and your brother talk any?" Jay laughs and I blush a little thinking just how little Bill and I do talk.
"Hey, we're 5 years apart. Not too much to talk about before and now he really wants to hook up with his friends. You got siblings?"
"Siblings, what a word. Got an older and younger brother. And, before you ask, yeah, we are pretty close. Think the first hand on my cock besides my own was one of theirs. Not that any of us are gay, but we didn't hide anything from one another."
I glance at him. He is watching the road and smiling. Control, control, must stay in control. This is my brother's friend. "So you and Bill play around?" You call that control? What is my mind doing?
"HA" it is a barking laugh, even deeper than his normal voice. "No, I don't think your brother is the type who would enjoy sex with a guy. And most of what my brothers and I did was just hand jobs. Just was nice to have someone else's hand doing the work sometimes."
"You said most, what else did you and your brothers do?" My voice is close to quivering. Would I do anything with Jay? Would I have sex just to have sex? Well duh, but why was I disappointed in that answer?
"Since you're interested, we sucked each other off a couple of times. That's it. And, it has been a while. We've all got girlfriends now."
"Oh, your girlfriend at Southwestern?" Did my voice show my disappointment? Gee, I don't believe myself. And what's that about 'since you are interested?' Does it show?
"No, she stayed back in Pennsylvania. I'll see her at Christmas, just couldn't afford a trip back twice in one semester. But, all this talk is making me hard." His hand fell into his lap and squeezed his crotch. "You want to get it on?"
I jerk my head up and stare out the window. "Better stop up at that turn-in." Do I or don't I? What should I do. I don't even know this guy. "You want to suck my cock?"
"Thought we'd do each other, yeah. But hey, nothing to get serious about you know, just two guys helping each other out. It's cool either way dude." Jay turns into the access road and parks the truck. He opens the door, "Well, come on."
My hands sweat inside my gloves. I open the door and follow Jay into the field. The creek bed and the trees are an acre away. An acre I walk in silence. What risks are there? Would Jay talk to my brother? Would we just suck each other's cock and that'd be it? Is that all I want, a cock rubbing my lips, my cock inside his mouth? I'm getting hard, but I don't know why. I care about Jason, I care about Brandon and I'm getting a hard-on walking with Jay who I don't know.
"Getting warm isn't it." Jay speaks as we start into the shade of the trees.
"Well it was," I reply, "away from the sun it's still pretty cool." I jump slightly as his hand touches my arm.
"You better lead. I don't know where you were staked out. Bill and I were up north a few hundred yards."
"Well, I was up there on that rise. I'm thinking that the deer would be coming from back in that patch of woods. We should be able to see some tracks if they are."
I start forward and hear Jay following. I don't know how to bring the subject of the blowjobs back up, or if I want to. It's not like I need to, but it would be nice. Remembering his hand rubbing his stomach makes my cock twitch. Nothing wrong with playing around if he wants to, I mean I'm not cheating on Jason or on Brandon; its not like we were going steady or something. Yet I know I'd feel guilty if either caught us. Caught us, sounds like I'm hoping it happens.
"See, here are some tracks."
"How old are they?"
"I don't know." I squat down to look at the tracks and eye where they lead, where they come from. "There ought to be more, probably on back in the thicket some more." Jay moves in close. I look up at him, "we should find some more in there. If we do, it means we didn't stay long enough this morning." He nods his head and looks towards the thicket. I look at his jacket, then his crotch. The blue of the jeans has faded to an off white. A mound seems to stretch off towards his left leg and there appears to be a something encased in soft well- worn denim that might be his balls.
Standing, I let my hand brush against the mound. "You still interested in getting it on?" My hand just swings back and forth grazing the jeans, feeling the softness of the fabric and the growing hardness of the flesh beneath. I look down on his face and watch a smile form while his eyes close and he leans back.
"Oh yeah."
Reaching out, I take his arm and pull him into the thicket. It's too cold to lay down or do much of anything so leaning against a tree, I unfasten my belt and jeans. Jay peals back my levis and pulls down the tops of my shorts so my cock swings out. Jay puts his hand on my cock giving it a squeeze and a pump. I shudder at the coolness of the air and his hands, but my cock throbs knowing his hands are on me. Another cold hand lays flat against my stomach and starts to grind its way up my torso, pulling hairs and forcing me into the bark of the tree. Fingertips graze my nipple and then circle, then gently rub across till the nipple is hard. My eyes are closed my mouth a gap and my head leaning back against the tree.
"Mark, this is nice. You've got a nice body here guy. Big cock, bigger than either of my brothers, that's for sure." Jay's hands never stop while he talks, one hand pumping and squeezing my cock, the other pinching and flicking my nipple.
"Dude, feels good, but its cold out, my cock needs some warmth. Take it dude." I reach out, find his head and slowly push him down. Opening my eyes, I watch as the college kid takes my cock close to his mouth. His lips gently press on my cock head. His tongue licks and probes my piss hole, licking the pre-cum, smearing it across the head. Thrusting my cock out I ram it against his face, smearing pre-cum and spittle across his cheek. His head pulls back. I shudder when his lips enclose my shaft, my cock head surrounded by the moist warmth of his mouth. His tongue begins to run underneath my cock as his head starts to bob back and forth. He is getting a rhythm and I flow with the music.
Jay's hair feels soft and thick as I massage his scalp riding his head as it bobs. My cock feels so warm, my nipples hard and my ass clenches as Jay squeezes a denim covered cheek. Jay's other hand still grasps the bottom portion of my cock, pumping and squeezing as his mouth works the top.
Then my cock head is out in the cold November air. Looking down I see Jay staring at it, sticking his tongue out he flicks the head, then licks the helmet running his tongue around and around. His mouth opens and my cock enters. He sucks hard and pushes his head down taking all the cock to his hand. Sucking hard he pulls off slowly, working his tongue along the under side. Only the head is inside his mouth and his tongue is flicking and licking and probing.
I can feel my balls starting to pull up. I feel the tingle starting deep within.
"Suck it Jay, suck it. I'm getting close."
He starts bobbing his head running an inch or so beyond the head into his mouth then back out. His head is bobbing faster, I'm thrusting too, pumping my cock in his hand, in his mouth.
I open my eyes and stare off at the creek bed. There he stands, 14 points at least, my buck, head raised and looking back toward me, poised for flight. I shoot, and shoot again and close my eyes shooting till my knees weaken.
++++++++++++++++++++++++ Written as a response to a question on coming out, Marilyn of "Ask Marilyn" said: "For all of us, loving and accepting who we are is the first step on the road to happiness. Living among those who love and accept us is the second step." I'd like to hear anyone's coming out story. Mik_l@hotmail.com
thanks, Rand +++++++++++++++++++++++++