As always, if you're not supposed to be here, please leave. In other words, if men kissing, fucking, or doing anything remotely sexual offends, disgusts, or angers you then you should get out of here. This story includes sex between two men. But it is at heart, a love story. Plenty of sap, romance, and professions of love. So be warned. This work is copyrighted and may not be used without explicit permission from the author.
Comments, suggestions, complaints are all much appreciated and welcomed at grassisb@aol.com.
Alright. Tis' a new story. I've been toying around with this one for awhile. I was a bit hesitant to post this when I still have two unfinished ones already out there, but I think I can deal with it.
This one will be a bit slower than "The Grass is Blue" and "Travelin' Thru." (Which both have new chapters posted - Don't you just love the shameless self promotion?) It's also a bit more... I guess "out there" than the other two.
I love feedback, especially on new stories so please let me know what y'all think.
And I wanna dedicate this one to Teri.
"Livin' a Lie" - Dolly Parton.
Enjoy, Anthony
Chapter One - Livin' a Lie"One ticket please."
"Where too sweetheart?"
"Anywhere but here."
The ticket clerk looked up at me. "That bad huh?"
I smiled. "You have no idea."
She laughed. "Let's see. I've got Kansas City, Oklahoma City. There's Atlanta or Savannah. Or maybe New York?"
I sighed. "I just want to go somewhere where no one knows me." And then I looked down at my meager amount of cash. "And someplace that's cheap."
She smiled. "Cheap. I can relate to that." She was tapping furiously at her keyboard. I looked around the empty train depot and wondered just how I'd wound up there in the first place. And then of course I remembered the reason. I was a fucking idiot. How could I be so stupid... I was interrupted out of my delightful reverie by the ticket clerk whose eyes had lit up.
"Sweetie, I think I have the perfect place for you."
I smiled at her. "Thank you." She sorta reminded me of my mother a little bit. I handed her the money but she slapped my hand away.
"Don't think of it."
I shook my head. "I can't. I'm not a charity..."
"Of course you're not." She interrupted me. "Save your money." She saw my skepticism. "It's just a loan and I expect full payment with interest."
I smiled at her persistence. "Thank you so much."
She smiled back. "No problem sugar. Waiting area is over there."
I made my way over and sat down. How did I end up accepting free train tickets? I had a job, a home, a wife... Oh. That's the reason I'm here accepting charity.
"So what's your name?" I needed to make it a habit of finding out their names before I fucked them. It just seemed... impolite. "Tom." He said dismissively. "I'm Hal." I said pulling up my briefs. "And I gotta get going." "That's fine." He said again, in the same uninterested tone. I buttoned up my shirt. "Listen did I do something wrong? I thought we..." He stood up. "I'm fine. We fucked. You were great. I came twice. Everything is just hunky dorey." Alrighteee then. And then he started laughing out of nowhere. Just laughing hysterically. That was about the point that I realized I just had sex with a sociopath. "I'm sorry." He said through his laughter. "I just get a little testy after... well... after sex." He smiled. "I just... I'm so tired of this. The fucking and then nothing. I just... I want a little more." He shook his head. "I'm sorry. You don't want to hear this." I did and I didn't. Truth is, I'd been sick and tired of it for years. But the situation I was in was... well let's just say it was entirely different than Tom's. I shrugged. "Hey. Don't worry about it." I thought for a second and then I leaned down and kissed him quickly on the lips. "It was fun." He smiled. "It was." And with that I was gone."Any luggage sir?"
The ticket clerk broke me out of my reverie.
I wanted to laugh. "Nope. Just what I have here." I said motioning to the small duffel I was carrying.
"Would you like me to check that then?"
"No thanks. I'll just take it on with me."
"Very well." He smiled. "You'll want to board then."
He walked on and I made my way to the platform. Entering the car, I found a seat all the way in the back. I plopped down and closed my eyes. The farther away I could get, the better. Who was I kidding? It wouldn't be better. I had a fantastic job. Had a beautiful wife. Had a gorgeous house. Had it all.
Had being the operative word.
"Something smells wonderful." I said as I entered my house. Sheila was nothing if not a wonderful cook. Actually, come to think of, she was a wonderful wife, the perfect wife to be exact. Everything was always orderly, spotless, well organized. She cleaned everything herself, put everything away herself, did everything herself. With my salary, we could certainly afford a maid. But she wouldn't have it. She wanted to do everything herself. Because, you see, in addition to being a Stepford clone, she was also a martyr. "Hey there stranger. How was your day?" She said greeting me in the living room. I pecked her on the lips. "Good. A little hectic." I followed her into the kitchen. "I have to meet a client for drinks a little later on. Won't be too long." She laughed. "Sure. Now sit down before it gets cold." The tone of her voice was a little off. "Everything okay?" I asked. She nodded. "Fine. Now come on. Let's eat." I shrugged off my thoughts and we made our way into the kitchen. Dinner was delicious. As I said before, my wife was a brilliant cook. I reached over to open the bottle of wine when she stopped me, placing her hand over mine. "Hal. I've been doing a lot of thinking." She began. "Okay." I said tentatively. I wasn't sure if I knew where this was going. "Well... it's... I don't really know how to say this." "Well spit it out I guess." She had an odd, almost self satisfied look on her face. "I think I'm a lesbian." "Excuse me?" I asked practically choking on my food. She smiled. "We've been married for four years now and I... well I've never really felt that fire for you." She sighed. "I think your attractive. But I just... I'm not attracted to you." I was at a loss for words, my mind a blur of activity. Was my wife coming out to me? "What are you talking about?" "I had an affair Hal. With Helen Pollod." My eyes bugged out of my head. "You what?" Tears started to form in her eyes. "I just... I don't know if you'll ever be able to forgive me." "Sheila. I... I don't know what to say. I... I just... it's so much to take in." "I know." She said sniffling. "I just want to take it all back." "No you don't." I said a bit too quickly. Truth was, I was getting a bit excited now. If my wife was admitting that she was gay, then I could too. We could be with whoever we wanted. I could be with Liam. Finally. That is if I could find him. She stared at me. "You mean you wouldn't want me to change?" I smiled. "No." I sighed. "It's who you are Sheila. You need to be who you are." And then all of a sudden, the tears disappeared. "Why?" She asked sarcastically. "So you can be a homo full time now?" And just like that, I was again at a loss for words. "What? What the fuck are you talking about?" I asked defensively. "Oh Hal. Let's not play dumb here. I'm just surprised I hadn't found out sooner." "How?" I asked, on the verge of tears. This is not how I wanted her to find out. "What's the matter. Gonna cry now?" She asked cruelly. She laughed. "I found the love letters that your best pal Liam sent you in college. Those were my first clues. And then..." she said coldly, "... I just had you followed." She walked over to the closet and pulled out a manila envelope. She tossed it on the table. I opened it, knowing what was in it, but not wanting to admit it to myself. Sure enough though, inside were pictures of me and a guy. I remembered him. Todd. I'd met him online last week. I wanted to vomit. "Sheila. Please. Just hear me out." Her eyes turned cold. "Shut the fuck up faggot." She laughed. "You really are such a naive person Hal. You always were. Any other person would have never fallen for such a sappy, over the top performance like the one I just gave." She smiled. "You did though." I swallowed the bile that was forming in my throat. "What do you..." "Want?" She asked laughing. "Simple. Everything." She walked over to her purse and fished out an envelope. She threw it at me. "There's five hundred dollars there. Use it wisely." I pleaded with her. "Sheila. I can explain. It's just..." She turned around with her back to me. "You have fifteen minutes to get out of here. Or I'll call your parents." She turned her head to look at me. "And I wouldn't go running to them. UPS will be delivering copies of those pictures to them bright and early tomorrow morning." I hung my head in defeat and sighed. There wasn't anything I could do. She had me. I got up from the chair and made my way out of the kitchen to the front door. I turned around though to look at her. "Whatever you feel now and however mad you are at me now... and probably always will be..." I was on the verge of tears again. "... I am sorry. I'll always be sorry."The train pulled out of the station in a cloud of smoke.
I sat back in the chair and, for the first time since "the incident," let myself do something I wouldn't allow myself to do in front of anyone.
I cried my eyes out.
Well it's a short chapter. But it's only the beginning. It's a little soap operaish but I've always been a big fan of soaps myself. I hope y'all enjoy it. Write me and let me know what you think. And again, Dolly is nominated for an Oscar this Sunday. Don't forget to watch. And keep your fingers cross that she'll win. Doesn't hurt to say it again. :)