Disclaimer: I do not know *N Sync or their sexual preferences. If you are underage or you don't enjoy reading about male/male relationships, please leave now. This is a piece of fiction, which means it isn't real! Does anyone still read these things anyway?!
Hey everyone! It's me, Robin, author of Now or Never. This a new story I'm working on and I'm real curious to see what y'all think. It's actually up on my website, so for correct formating and stuff, you can read it there.
http://www.angelfire.com/boybands/nsajscgirl/index1.html
There won't be much slash at all for several chapters but it will get there, I promise. Thank you to Cele for proofing this for me! I'm real dependent on feedback, so email me! nsajscgirl@yahoo.com
************************ Prisoner of Love Chapter 1
'It's all a nightmare. It has to be a nightmare,' JC told himself over and over. A year had seemed like a long time to JC before...before he was placed in this gray hellhole. He remembered the year that No Strings Attached came out; he never thought the year would end...the constant TV appearances and touring. But now, a year took on a whole different meaning. Three hundred and sixty-five days of staring at the same patterns of winding cracks in the drab gray ceiling above him. Three hundred and sixty-five days of wishing for the hectic life he had once lived as JC Chasez from *N Sync. Three hundred and sixty-five days of reliving the nightmare of how he got here every single time he closed his eyes. JC had lost what little faith he had in God that day a little more than a year ago. The day he had been convicted of murder. After all, if there were a God, surely he wouldn't make JC suffer like this.
JC couldn't even escape from the nightmare he was faced with in his sleep. The one thing that should have been safe and that should have kept him blissfully unaware...didn't. If anything, the nightmare became more real, more vivid in his sleep. Everything replayed in his mind over and over again, beginning with the day before his girlfriend was murdered right up until a jury of his peers judged him guilty of that very crime. A helpless sigh escaped JC's lips as he drifted off to sleep once more. A sleep that was troubled...a sleep full of painful memories.
(14 months earlier...)
"That's a wrap for tonight, y'all!" A collective sigh arose from the group of people standing around the stout director. "For everyone except Doug and the *N Sync guys. I need y'all to hang around for a small meeting. But everyone else can go home now!" he announced with false cheerfulness. He was exhausted and he was ready for a good night's sleep. The last thing he wanted to do was to hang around the set for another hour while they ironed out the final details for tomorrow's last scenes. With a final look at his watch, which read 4:39 am, he sighed deeply and moved towards his director's chair. Chaos ruled for several moments as crewmembers bid each other good night and left the set. Quiet descended over the nearly empty building once almost everyone was gone.
Someone had placed production notes on his folding chair and he shuffled through the well-worn pages slowly. His eyes ached trying to read the small print. Wayne Isham ran a blunt hand through his coarse blonde hair. He loved his job; there was no doubt about that and he had developed an incredible reputation through his hard work and innovative ideas. That didn't mean that he didn't get tired, though.
The sound of approaching footsteps alerted Wayne to Doug's presence. Doug Exbury was Wayne's first assistant director, his right-hand man. Wayne had first hired Doug as a gofer but the younger man's dedication and determination caught Wayne's attention quickly and held it. Doug worked harder than any person Wayne knew, including himself, which was a rare feat. Without looking at the younger man, Wayne asked, "Have you looked at these production notes yet, Doug?"
"Yes, I made some suggestions on the last page," Doug replied in a clipped Northern accent. They talked quietly, waiting for the guys of *N Sync.
They didn't have to wait too long before the guys started trickling in. Wayne and Doug looked up as Chris walked in first. He walked slowly towards the two older men, cell phone in his right hand, holding it tightly to his ear. He waved his left hand around animatedly before bringing it to his mouth and chewing on a nail absently. His small eyes bounced from object to object as he talked softly into the phone. Chris managed to keep from tripping over winding cables and he hopped into one of the chairs near Wayne and Doug. His knee bounced up and down keeping in time with the sounds of Wayne tapping his pen against the papers he held. Joey was right behind Chris, dragging his feet tiredly. He mumbled something unintelligible before taking the seat next the Chris's, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. "Where are the others?" Wayne asked.
"In the dressing room. They should only be a second," Joey replied, not bothering to open his eyes. Wayne nodded before turning back to Doug. While they talked softly, Joey watched Doug warily from behind lowered lids. To the others, it looked as though he were dozing. Joey had become a pretty good judge of character over the last couple of years and there was something about Doug that rubbed him the wrong way. Doug was roughly his age, six feet tall, fairly handsome, but his blue eyes held something unpleasant in them. Joey lowered his lids the rest of the way when Doug glanced up from the papers to look at Wayne. Chris said a soft, 'Goodbye,' into his phone before snapping it shut. He stuck the phone in his pocket before turning his attention to Joey who seemed to be sleeping peacefully beside him. Chris bounced the palm of his hand on Joey's thigh rapidly, hoping to wake Joey up.
"Stop it, Chris," Joey stated softly, not bothering to open his eyes. Chris merely grinned at his friend and tapped his thigh harder. "Dammit, Chris, I'm not playing! Stop!" Joey hissed furiously, his brown eyes flashing angrily at Chris when he opened them. Chris blinked in amazement; he had just wanted Joey to talk to him. Before he could take offense at Joey's tone, he noted the exhaustion shining in Joey's eyes and Chris apologized. Wayne and Doug had stopped their little conference momentarily, watching the duo with fascination. The guys from *N Sync were known for their comradery and they rarely snapped at each other. Joey nodded quickly, accepting Chris's apology before leaning his head back and closing his eyes once more. Once it seemed as though the small storm was over, Wayne and Doug turned their attention back to the papers they had been discussing.
"What's wrong?" Justin asked the minute he arrived. He had heard Joey's angry voice as soon as he stepped out of the dressing room. JC and Lance followed behind him closely, whispering quietly to one another.
"Nothing, Joey's just tired," Chris said softly. Justin nodded in understanding; everyone was tired and tempers flared, even Mr. Happy-go-lucky Joey's. Justin slung his book bag onto the floor at Joey's feet before hopping into the last chair.
"Okay, now that everyone is here...I want to talk about the final scenes for tomorrow and work out the details. I know y'all had some ideas about what you wanted to happen, so now would be the time to discuss them," Wayne said, explaining the need for the late meeting. Joey opened his eyes and forced himself to pay attention.
"You brought the notebook, right Lance?" At Lance's nod, Justin turned to Wayne to explain the notebook.
"We've kind of gotten use to writing down our ideas in a notebook while everyone is brainstorming so we don't forget anything." Wayne nodded and waited patiently as Lance pulled his backpack around his shoulder and started to rummage through it, looking for the notebook they had been scribbling in. After their initial meeting with Wayne, the guys had written every question, idea, or concern they could possibly think of. It was one of the tried and true methods they had developed after working on so many music videos. After nearly five minutes of searching, Lance threw his hands up and let out a frustrated sigh.
"I can't find it! I must have left it in JC's room this morning after breakfast," Lance said, a slight twinge of disappointment in himself coloring his jade eyes. He always made it a point to make sure that he had everything he needed, but working three straight days on this particular video had taken its toll and Lance was just ready for a nice, warm bed. JC touched his shoulder reassuringly and Lance smiled gratefully at him. Wayne sighed; he really wanted to get this over with tonight.
"We really need to deal with this now. That or we wake up at eight," Wayne said unhappily. Joey shook his head vehemently and the rest agreed with him loudly.
"Eight!?" Justin exclaimed. "Man that's way too early!
"That's only three hours of sleep," Chris pointed out.
"Why don't we just go back to the hotel and we can have the meeting in JC's suite. I'm pretty sure that's were I left the notebook." Lance's suggestion was met with affirmative nods from everyone except JC.
"Meredith's there. She'll be asleep," JC informed everyone. The last thing he wanted to do was wake up his temperamental girlfriend.
"Oh, come on...we promise to be quiet!" Chris said as he winked at JC and the younger man couldn't help but shake his head in amusement.
"Yeah, right. She'll kill me if I let you guys wake her up." Justin raised his hand and pretended to crack a whip. Everyone laughed at the image.
"I'm not whipped!" JC protested. "I just want to avoid any type of punishment she might possibly think up."
"I don't know, JC. Any type of punishment?" Joey asked before grinning idiotically at JC. Joey's brown eyes alight with merriment despite his fatigue.
"Shut up, you horn dog!" JC said, a faint blush staining his cheeks. Joey grin widened and he slapped JC lightly on the arm.
"We can meet in my room," Lance suggested as a way to make up for forgetting the book in the first place. Wayne quickly agreed and after shutting down the set for the night, the group left and headed back to the hotel.
**
As the guys made their way down the hallway towards JC's room, they joked around and goofed off. Chris had jumped on Joey's back and was riding him like a rodeo bull. Laughter echoed off the walls and Wayne had to hush everyone. He reminded them that everyone was still asleep and Chris replied with a, "Yes, daddy," under his breath. Even though they had worked through the night and it was nearly dawn, the guys were in a lighthearted mood. The video shoot would be over within the next day and then they would have nearly a week off before going back into the studio to record more songs for their next album. JC grinned happily at something Lance said before opening the door to his suite and flipping on the light. The lighthearted banner stopped immediately at the gasp from inside the room.
"JC!" a naked Meredith Stone gasped as she rolled off the man beneath her on the couch. She grabbed a silk robe that was close at hand. A disoriented young man, familiar to everyone, jumped into a sitting position and held up his hands to ward off the advancing singer. JC recognized the man immediately and his face contorted in anger once he realized the betrayal. Meredith had been cheating on him with *N Sync's personal assistant, Michael Clifton.
"What the fuck is going on?!" JC shouted.
"Now, JC...please...it's not what you think!" Michael pleaded as he watched JC move closer. Michael was half naked, shirt off, pants unzipped. He scurried backwards hastily, tripping over the arm of the couch and falling to the floor. He quickly leapt to his feet and glanced at the door, hoping for an easy escape.
"Not what I think! How could it not be what I think?!" JC growled at Michael before rounding on his girlfriend.
"Exactly what is it then, Meredith?! I want a fucking explanation!" Her expression quickly changed from one of shock to anger as she faced JC head on. Meredith's light blue eyes flashed darkly with an emotion that closely resembled hatred as she stepped closer to her boyfriend and yelled back at him.
"Don't yell at me, Joshua!"
"Don't fucking call me that! How could you do this to me?! I thought you loved me!" They continued to shout back and forth as an increasingly large crowd gathered at the door to the suite. The other guys and Wayne tried in vain to keep the crowd from growing by shutting the door, but people were drawn out of their rooms by the Meredith's shrill screams.
"You're never around, JC. You spend all of your spare time with your Goddamn friends while I'm stuck in these fucking hotels. I found someone that cares more about me than you ever will. Even when you're home, you're never home. You're always in the studio or you always want alone time to create your music," she spit out, emphasizing certain words to make her point by jabbing her finger in JC's face. "You and your fucking music, JC! I hate your goddamn music!"
"If you hated everything about me so damn much, what the hell were you doing with me in the first place!? Were you even going to tell me that you were fucking around behind my back or were you just going to keep using me for my name!?" JC shouted furiously. Lance had never seen JC this angry before. Veins stood out on his forehead and he clenched his hands into fists as he turned to confront Michael. "And you...you son of a bitch! Pretending to be our friend during the day and screwing my girlfriend at night!"
"Now, JC...just stay calm, please!" Michael pleaded as JC advanced towards him. JC shook his head angrily and swung a wild fist in his direction. The fist connected directly with Michael's cheek and he was thrown back against the wall. He slid down the wall clutching the side of his face in shock. To his completely embarrassment, he felt the sting of tears building up behind his eyes.
"You bastard. Get up off the fucking floor and fight me back!" Michael simply stared up at JC, waiting for the older man to throw another punch. JC shrugged when he saw that Michael refused to fight against him and decided quickly that he wouldn't allow that small fact to stop him. When JC drew back his fist again, Michael squeezed his eyes shut tightly and waited for the blow. Before JC could strike again, Joey jumped into the scene, pulling JC as far away from Michael as possible. Joey's grip tightened on the older man as JC fought viciously against Joey's hold.
"Let go of me, Joey! Dammit!" Wayne decided to help out by quickly ushering Michael out of the room before closing the door off to the public again. Joey only released JC once he was sure Michael was gone and JC straightened himself out only to find Meredith watching him, her stance uncertain. JC noticed was that her blue eyes were dry and she looked completely unremorseful. He took several deep breaths to control his consuming anger. Before everyone's eyes, JC transformed himself from a volcano ready to explode to a person who had an iron grip on his emotions. "Get out of my sight now, before I do something that I might regret later," JC said icily.
"Don't threaten me, JC," she hissed. "I swear to God, if you lay one hand on me, so help me, I know so many secrets about you and your friends that you'll never live it down! I don't have any problem going to MTV about half the shit I know!" Lance's heart jumped painfully the minute the threat left her mouth; he knew exactly what she was promising to reveal as did the rest of the group. JC stared at her, speechless. With one last furious glance at her former boyfriend, Meredith pushed past the astonished group at the door and flung it open. The small group of gawkers had grown and all eyes were on the slim brunette as she turned to make her final exit.
"Meredith!" JC shouted at her before she could disappear into the crowd. She whirled around to face JC and sneered at him as she waited for his last words. "I would kill you before I let you do something like that." His voice sent chills down Lance's spine as he watched the scene with no small amount of fascination. JC's voice dripped with frigid anger and Lance knew that in that particular moment, JC would have gone through with his threat. "Do you hear me, Meredith? I'll kill you before I let you go to the press." She laughed in disgust before escaping into the relative safety of the hallway, seemingly unaware that the only thing she wore was a thin robe.
JC stood still for a moment in complete silence. It was obvious to his friends that he was struggling for control over his anger. His fists clenched and unclenched at his sides and he ground his jaw tightly together. JC stalked into their...his bedroom and grabbed Meredith's suitcase. He immediately ran back out into the living area and thrust the suitcase at Chris. "Give this to her," he requested before turning around and retreating back into his room. The loud slamming of his bedroom door caused the group to jump in shock. They all exchanged uneasy glances. Chris hurried through the open door with the suitcase held tightly in his fist. The others shared another uncomfortable glance. Lance walked slowly to the bedroom door and knocked softly.
"JC?" he called out.
"Leave me the fuck alone, Lance!" JC shouted through the door and Lance cringed. JC never shouted at him, but under the circumstances, he could understand. He walked back towards the small group standing near the door.
"We should leave him alone for tonight," Lance said and everyone nodded in agreement. He spared a pained glance at JC's bedroom door before opening the suite door and leaving JC behind.
**
(The next day...)
An uncomfortable silence had descended over the set of *N Sync's video. It was the last day of the shoot and everyone should have been giddy with relief. Last night's previous events muted the enjoyment that the crew should have been feeling. The tiff between JC and his ex-girlfriend was all over the news and people working on the video had to fight their way through reporters into the set that afternoon. Gossip and speculation ran rampant as was usual when pop stars were involved.
JC sighed heavily before moving off to a secluded corner of the set. The day was cloudy and rainy, matching JC's mood perfectly. Everyone, even his best friends, were walking on eggshells around him. He had snapped at one of the assistants earlier and she had scurried off, tears trailing down her face. His sky blue eyes were frozen like two chips of ice and a perpetual frown graced his handsome face. Normally one of the guys, usually Chris, would try to joke around with him to lighten the mood, but even Chris was eyeing him warily from near the food table. JC threw back his head and took a swig from his water bottle. After gulping the cool liquid down he raised his knees and rested his forehead on folded arms. He wished fervently for last night to have been a nightmare, but JC knew without a doubt that it was his reality.
JC sighed heavily once again. He had gotten no sleep at all. Questions had plagued him all night, swirling around in his head. They had served no useful purpose other than to anger him and give birth to the dull ache he felt growing at the back of his skull. Shouldn't he have seen what she was doing? Were there any signs he should have noticed? How could he have totally missed the signs of her cheating on him? Was it really his fault? Could he have paid more attention to Meredith to keep her from running into the arms of another man? 'Not just any man, a man that worked closely with the us and had gained our trust,' JC thought bitterly. Fresh stirrings of anger rose within JC. He still couldn't believe that she had been cheating on him right under his nose.
JC thought intently about the times Meredith had disappeared for hours on end and he belatedly realized that Michael would have conveniently vanished as well. The only opportunity the secret lovers would've had to get together would have been when JC was around. Michael followed the group everywhere and Meredith went on the road with JC whenever she got the chance. JC wondered idly how long they had been screwing around and yet another surge of anger rushed through him. For all he knew, they could have been fucking for as long as JC and Meredith had been together...nearly a year.
The group of witnesses to the fight, the hotel guests that happened to be staying on the same floor as the group, had been more than happy to give the story to the media and now everyone knew that JC's girlfriend had been cheating on him. There had been tabloid reporters and news vans waiting for JC the minute he stepped out of the hotel that morning and he just wanted to shout at the nosy journalists to leave him the hell alone. There were even news crews camped outside the video set they were filming in, waiting patiently in the rain like a group of vultures ready to jump on him the minute he walked out of the building. Why everyone felt the need to know what was going on in his life was beyond JC. He just wanted some quiet and some solitude to deal with this on his own and move on. He didn't think that was too much to ask.
JC groaned as he felt the aching in his brain turn into a harsh pounding and he knew that this was going to be one hell of a headache. He needed something to get of it; anything to nip it in the bud before it became too painful. JC immediately thought of Lance as he stood to search for medicine. Lance would have headache medicine; Lance was always prepared for whatever came his way. He raised his head from his knees and searched the chaotic set with cold eyes. Once he located Lance, he stood up with slow deliberation and moved towards his best friend.
"Lance?" JC said softly once he reached the blonde's side. Lance didn't notice JC at his side until the other man spoke and Lance jumped slightly in surprise. He searched JC's face with worried green eyes.
"Yeah?" he questioned. JC looked like shit. His normally handsome face was haggard, stubble gracing his cheeks. His blue eyes were emotionless and Lance had never imagined seeing them that way. He resisted the urge to caress JC's forehead with his fingertips, instead focusing his attention on the pain he saw etched in JC's features.
"Do you have anything for a headache?" JC asked. Lance's green eyes filled with sympathy and JC felt anger welling up within him once again. He lashed out at his friend before he could stop himself. "Dammit, Lance! Don't look at me like that! It's not like my dog died! I'm fine!" JC whispered furiously, ignoring the shocked expression on Lance's pale face. He held out his hand impatiently for the medicine he had asked for and continued to stare unhappily at Lance. Lance spared him a wary glance before digging through his book bag. Lance shied away from him when JC grabbed the offered pills out of his open palm. JC sighed. "I'm sorry, Lance. It's just that everyone is tiptoeing around me. The last thing I want or need is your sympathy." Lance nodded in understanding but still kept his distance. The display of JC's temper last night had scared him. Before last night, Lance wasn't even sure if JC had what one would call a temper. Whenever JC would get angry, he'd get quiet. He became introspective; he would keep his emotions bottled up inside of himself, keeping them under tight rein. Whereas any of the other guys would talk to one another, airing their thoughts, feelings, and emotions, JC would just throw himself into his work with new zeal. JC was a true workaholic, using his work to avoid looking at and dealing with reality. That was Lance's opinion anyway.
Lance would never say that what Meredith did was right, but he knew she was right about one of the things she had pointed out last night. JC didn't spend any time with her. He was always too busy with *N Sync, with his music. What Meredith didn't understand, though, was that JC's music was such a vibrant part of him that he couldn't be separated from it and it couldn't be separated from him. It was a part of JC's personality, what made him JC. Lance saw that and he knew that Meredith had been blind to it.
The crackle of the intercom system brought Lance out of his thoughts. "Justin, Lance, Chris, and Joey are needed immediately in front of the costume trailer please." Lance looked around and noticed that JC had disappeared while he had been deep in thought. Lance sighed; he didn't know what to do or say to JC. He didn't think there was anything he could do to help the older man forget the pain he was going through. What made the situation even worse was the fact that even though JC had gotten rid of Meredith in his personal life, he couldn't do that so easily in his professional life. Meredith was the actress Wayne had hired for their video.
**
"Did you guys know that Meredith and JC are the only ones in the last scene Wayne wanted to shoot?" Joey asked his friends quietly. The four young men stood around, waiting patiently for the lighting technician to finish moving the lights into place. This was one of the last scenes that they were going to shoot. It was their group footage during JC's solo. Lance nodded his head in reply as his green eyes darkened.
"Are you for real?" Justin questioned almost angrily. "That's so wrong. It must really burn JC to know that she's still around somewhere and that he has to finish this video with her."
"JC will be fine with it," Lance interjected. "He'll look at it like it's a job to finish, nothing more, nothing less." The guys nodded in agreement at Lance's prediction. They continued to talk quietly as they waited. Wayne walked up to them a few minutes later.
"Are you guys about ready?" Wayne asked. Everyone nodded and Wayne continued talking, "Okay, good. I know that because of what happened last night, everyone is kind of out of it, but we still need to focus on getting this video done. Here's what I need..." Suddenly, Wayne's last few words were cut off by a loud sound that reverberated throughout the set. A sound that would forever change the lives of the young men that surrounded Wayne. Wayne knew immediately what the sound had been, but the guys looked at each other in confusion. The director's eyes widened in shock and he quickly turned and ran towards the sound.
"What the hell was that?" Joey asked loudly. No one replied...they were all too busy trying to find the source of the sound. The guys exchanged looks once more before following the group of crewmembers outside to the dressing rooms. Each of the guys had been given a personal dressing trailer to use during the shoot and a large crowd of people was beginning to converge at JC's. Lance and the others stood at the back of the crowd, unable to make their way to the front. As minutes pasted, a murmur rose throughout the mass of people and Lance was shocked at the words floating towards him. Snippets of words from people around him made Lance's head spin.
"Gun shot...Meredith was shot...JC...blood...JC's gun." Lance pushed his way through the mass quickly, his friends following behind closely. The sight that greeted him at the entrance to JC's trailer shook Lance to the core as he bounded up the metal steps. Meredith's frail body lay face down to the floor, a pool of blood already spreading beneath her. JC stood off to the side, his whole frame shaking. A gun dangled limply in his right hand. Wayne, the first person in the trailer, was talking softly to JC hoping to soothe the distraught man.
The next hour or so past by in a blur for Lance. Someone had called 911 for an ambulance. Nearly ten minutes after the ambulance arrived, a dark van labeled "Los Angeles Coroner" pulled into the parking lot just as rain began to pelt the crowd still standing outside. It left nothing to the imagination. Through the rain flashing lights from the nearby ambulance and police cars seared Lance's eyes, but he watched closely as his best friend was put in handcuffs and placed under arrest. Lance would never forget the sight of JC being forced into the back of the blue and white squad car. From where Lance stood, he could see that JC's blue eyes were overflowing with tears. Before being driven away, JC's pleading eyes caught Lance's gaze through the clear glass of the windshield. Lance could only take a few minutes of staring into JC's eyes before he turned away abruptly and heading inside from the unrelenting rain.
Yelp, there it is, Chapter 1. Since you've read this far...I've also posted Chapter 2 on my website. I'll post it on Nifty tomorrow, but it's there if you want to read the next chapter. The URL is at the top of the page. Please email me and let me know what you think! Thanks everyone! Robin :)