The probe entered orbit around the ordinary blue-green planet and began scanning the multitude of RF signals emanating from the landmasses. Quickly translating the video, audio, and text messages that the signals represented it began looking for a source that met its criteria for deploying the custom-designed ground rover. A largish metropolitan area, frequented by people of many nations, a transportation hub, and proximity to one major military facility was desired... and found. But in its search it found on one of the odder entertainment channels (backed up with a cross-check to an educational channel) that a possibly major mistake had been made to the surface probe. But as the lander descended towards Las Vegas, Nevada this problem was being addressed.
Mildred Ericcson was far less impressive than her name might indicate. While possessed with a formidable stature, she had a face that was usually described as 'mousy'. She tended toward a severe hairstyle (or lack thereof) and non descript clothing that obscured whatever and all natural benefits her genes would give her. This suited Mildred (never Millie) just fine as a part-time student at UNLV and a full time surveillance operator at the 'Vegas Docks' casino and hotel.
Late one Friday night, her first weekend off from both school (midterm had just been taken) and work (everyone needs time off after a midterm) in ages, she was driving down I-15 towards the casino from Vegas. The casino was new, and to ensure staff, they were letting her have a room as part of a one-year employment contract. So she lived at work... and some would say lived for it too. She was about three-quarters of the way to Primm when a flash of light swiped across the windscreen of her '88 Calais. She slowed the car down and began blinking her eyes to clear the spots, when it happened again.
Pulling to the side of the road, she peered off towards the southwest, after donning a pair of sunglasses. Sure enough, the light swept over the desert hitting her in the eyes and highlighting an old road leading out toward the darkness toward the light source. Taking the exit off the freeway, she mad her way down the road. Usually she wasn't this curious, but something about the light was just compelling and she had a four-day weekend. She'd been driving down the road for about fifteen minutes, full of the thrill of adventure, when the car went dead. She tried restarting the car once... twice... three times when the outside of the car lit up bright as day. Out the front windshield Mildred saw a short person moving toward the car. It stopped by her window, which came down automatically, despite her lack of power windows, and when she turned to face the stranger it was all she could do to not scream when she looked into the big grey eyes of Gol Roblik of Alpha Ophiceus VI.
Mildred say in her car, knowing she should feel scared, but all she felt was fascination with her situation. No feeling of fear or anxiety, but a general curiosity about what was going to happen next.
"It's the light", said the alien."
"What?"
"The light. It's making you curious...curiouser. We know enough about humans that few are curious enough to go chasing into the desert, so it's making you curious."
"Programming me?"
"No. Just stimulating your natural curiosity. Which is why we chose you. Although you seem to be timid in life, you are very curious about, well, everything, judging by your library records and surveillance reports."
Mildred looked at it blankly, her mouth open in surprise.
"We've been monitoring Earth's systems for a year, and you were our final choice. We've got a task for you to fulfill, and we needed someone who won't freak out just because she's encountered an alien and a probe."
"A... what?", Mildred asked, a sudden and stereotypical image popping in her mind for a moment.
"Funny. I guess, judging by your entertainment channels, you might be right. But it's not quite that mechanical looking."
From behind the light walked another figure, and as it came closer Mildred recognized it as a young girl, about 18 to 21, dressed rather casually in the fashion of the time, with dark long hair, probably 34C breasts (a little smaller than her own), flat tummy, slim hips (not like her slightly roundy bottom), and 'dancers' legs. Her eyes however seemed slightly vacant.
"Yes, that's true.", Gol said. "It's her mission here to analyze and incorporate your cultures here. A lot of the other planets we've been to either evolved socially homogeneously or have left their differences so far in the past it makes little difference. But to introduce her to your societies, we need a guide."
Mildred gulped and stammered, "M... m... m... me?"
"Yes. You will share your quarters with our probe here as we have 'arranged' for her to work and go to school with you. In your off time, you will help her socialize about the city of... what is it? Las Vegas, yes."
"I'm not good at socializing."
"Your initial circle of friends is fine to start. But we will ask you to think bigger. Earth's cultural diversity is too big of a find to pass up. After five of your years, we will offer the reward of your choosing, within reason."
Mildred thought quickly.
"Yes, even a job off-planet. But there is, in all fairness, a complication."
"Complication? Sounds like something dangerous for an investment like an interstellar robotic probe."
"Yes. When we encountered your probe, a device called Pioneer 10, it was damaged and our concept of you was incomplete. We assembled the fragments as best we could, but our oh... 'Earthologists' made a fundamental mistake in the probe's design. Lift up your skirt, Lena."
Mildred looked down at Lena's pubic region and gasped. "Complication? You have no idea."
"We will give you a device that will let you wipe out a person's short term memory in case of accident. Do not misuse it. But you must us it within eight hours or Lena's condition will stay known. Understand?"
"Yes. And I will do it. But it must have been a heck of a foul up to that probe for you to put an eight inch penis on your girl-type probe."
"Yes, our 'Earthologists' did not understand your exact physiology from the fragments. We do have faith that you will find a way around this. Your caution and curiosity will serve us, and yourself, well."
An impish thought popped into Mildred's mind.
"If you wish. I imagine she'll have to learn it sometime."
The light flashed brightly, leaving Lena, the Olds and one very shocked, flabbergasted and embarrassed Mildred Ericsson in the Nevada desert.