Author's Note:
Ok. So this is my first try at writing a story. Hopefully some of you out there will read this and hopefully like it some bit. This story is not a "stroke piece"(note: it is NOT). I accidentally kept it as it is one in the last chapter. Oops. Anyways, it's just about a college guy trying to find the right person. So if that disinterests you, you should stop reading. Otherwise, read on. The story may be a little slow, but it will eventually pick up around the following parts to come. If you have any comments, e-mail me at Streyn@hotmail.com
This story is completely fictional. So any similarities you may see are purely coincidental. In other words, don't bite my ass off if it just so happens that you're life just happens to be exactly like the one in this story.
Also, if you are under age or it is illegal for you to be reading this, then go away now. Don't want you reading something you shouldn't now. Also, if these kinds of stories are not to your liking, you should leave as well
------- CHAPTER 2
Besides that, I had gotten to know some more people. This was a completely different experience. Actually meeting and talking to new people. But still, something in me was not satisfied. I really wanted to find a guy to go out with. But how do I start? It's not like I had a role model or someone to help me out. And I wasn't exactly going to go to the nearest gay club and look for guys there. It's just not my scene. I guess I really expected the person to fall into my lap. And I guess he did.
"Hey, Dave. I want you to meet my friend Will. He goes here too. He's from Baltimore like me. I actually forgot that he goes here. I guess I didn't see him since he's majoring in bio. Will, this is Dave. My roomie."
"Hey Dave. Xav has been telling me about you."
Are all the people Xav knows just as good looking as he is? I kind of felt like the odd man out. No way I could compare to these two. Just looking at him you could tell he had a great body. But enough staring. "Has he now? Nothing embarrassing I hope. I made the fatal mistake of telling all my childhood blackmail stories once when I had a little too much to drink. So, how do you like it here in Boston so far?"
"Pretty good. I actually ran into Xav while I was in the gym. Starting to workout a lot more now. So, you guys want to go out to a bar or something?"
"Sure." So I invited Diane and Matt along. I supposed I need reinforcements as well as some entertainment. We decided to go to a bar about fifteen minutes away from the dorm. When we got there, we ordered a few drinks and then started to get to know Will. Turns out he also plays baseball. Figures why he and Xavier seemed to be good friends. They played in the same high school in Baltimore. But I noticed the whole time I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. His eyes were the most amazing warm hazel I had ever seen. His face was practically perfect. His nose, his slightly messy hair, his lips, and the way he talked. I just listened to him with all of my attention, not letting anything bother me.
"Dave?? Yoo hoo. Dave??? Are you there??"
"Huh? Oh, Diane. Yes?" Shit. I hope that didn't make me look too obvious. Completely absorbed with Will, I completely avoided anything else. And now that Diane tore me away, it might have made it evident about my complete lack of being discrete.
"Um, Dave, please come with me and get another drink."
I wondered what she had planned. I could tell by the obvious tone of her voice that she wanted to talk to me about something. So we walked over, got some more drinks, an then she asked me. "Are you gay?"
"Huh? What? No... of course not." Shit I thought to myself. I was too obvious. And now she knew. And probably would want to get away from me as soon as possible.
"It's okay you know. Matt and I kept talking about it. We noticed the way you looked at Matt the first time around. And now, with Will. If you are gay, you can tell me. I won't tell anyone."
If I did tell her, she would be the first one to know. The first person to whom I would confess. "Yah. I am. Is it that obvious?"
"Yes, very. And I'm thinking that you better stop. You are a little too obvious. Now, I don't know for sure if Will is gay or not, but you might not want to drool the way you do when he talks. Some guys aren't as open about being gay and all."
"Yah. I guess." Wow, it wasn't that bad telling someone about me. So one problem down. But another one to come. I still had to go back to the table. I just couldn't help myself whenever Will was talking. I just lost all my other senses. Anyways, we stayed at the bar for another hour or so. It happened to be karaoke night, and somehow my friends forced me into singing. And I think everyone in the bar will never forget that. I was completely horrible. I was nervous. I didn't have a very good voice. But, in the middle of my song, something wonderful happened. Will came next to me and helped me out with the singing. At least I became more comfortable. And his voice was amazing. (turned out he was in the choir at high school) Now I was in love with him even more. But now the alcohol was having its affect. I could barely walk in a straight line now. I was so amazingly tired.
"Hey, guys, I think I'm going to head back to the dorm. You know how I am with alcohol, not very tolerant. I'll see you guys later."
Then, Will came up to me. "Hey, I'll go with you. Besides, I only live a five-minute walk away from your dorm. Someone has to make sure you make it to your room. You look like you can barely stand up."
"Ah, thanks." I was getting more nervous by the minute. As we headed out of the door, I shouted "bye" to Matt, Diane, and Xavier. Will and I walked outside. It was a cool October evening. I quickly learned that it quickly gets really cold in Boston. But the skies were clear, all the starts out brightly twinkling in the sky. As we walked, I remarked about how nice the weather is. The weather? What kind of conversation is that?
But I just wanted to hear him talk. His voice soothed me. "Yah, I love the weather when it is like this. Slightly chilly. You look cold. Do you want my jacket?"
I had been foolish enough to go out of the dorm room without one. And now I was practically freezing. But I didn't want him thinking I was some sort of sissy. So I said "No, it's ok." But it wasn't ok. Added to the fact that I was nearly using all my concentration so that I wouldn't fall in some ditch, now I was really cold. Then, the worst thing happened. We were walking towards the dorm, and the shortest path there goes through a somewhat steep hill. I think I must have tripped over a rock or something and I started to fall down the hill. Stupidly enough, I grabbed Will, trying to grab anything sturdy so that I would not fall. Instead, it sent both of us rolling down the hill. When we finally got to lower ground, I noticed he was right on me. I could hardly move, and now I had the huge headache. But then, as we both came to our senses, we looked into each other's eyes. I love his eyes. You have no clue how much. My headache dissipated quickly and I just stared deep into his eyes. The proximity. The warmth of his breathe on my face. The smell of his cologne on his neck. Now, I thought this went on for an eternity, but it must have been only 10 seconds or so.
Suddenly, he quickly got to his feet. "Sorry about that. I hope I didn't hurt you, you know, landing on you and all."
"Oh no. This was all my fault. I really shouldn't have grabbed you. I don't know what I was thinking."
He seemed sort of dazed. "Yah, well, uh, I better get going. Ya know. I'm kind of tired too." he said as he helped me up.
"Yah, I understand. It was nice meeting you Will. Hopefully we can meet up some other time." Shit. Now that was obvious. That was almost like asking for a date. I hope he couldn't tell by the look of frustration on my face that I was kicking myself for asking him this.
"Yah. that would be nice. I would love that. I'll see you later, Dave." And he walked away into the darkness.
I got into my dorm room, changed into sleeping clothes when it struck me. Did he say he would "love" to do that?? Now I was getting all confused. He quickly got up after falling on me, as if he completely showed no interest in me. But at the same time, he was sending me some weird message about going out again. Now I was thoroughly confused. But, too tired to think, I just fell asleep and that was that.
Now, trust me. As many of you know, waking up with a hangover is not so much fun. Seriously. I had no clue how Xavier was so up and cheery in the morning. I know he drank more than I did last night. I got up, took a nice long shower, and got ready for class.
"So ready for another boring lecture by Mr. Connel about the wonderful world of physics?"
As hung over as I was, there was no way Xavier was annoying in anyways. "Yah, I guess so. But I don't think I'll be able to stay awake through it without a cup of coffee. You want to head over to the student center before we head over to phys?"
"Yah, sure. No problem."
So we headed over. A cup of coffee was really what I needed. After that, we headed off to physics. Now, Mr. Connel is cool and all, but he really needs to learn how to become more exciting. The whole class, Xavier and I would just goof around. I really liked having class with him. At least he made the class bearable. Finally class ended and we went for a walk across the quad.
"So, how'd you like Will?"
"Ah. He's cool. I got to talk with him a bit more after we left the bar."
"Yah, he's a good guy."
And so the conversation went on as we went back to the dorm. Once we got there, he said he needed to go to the gym, so I just stayed in the room. So, Diane decided to pop in for a bit.
"Sooooooooo, how did your little walk with little William go? Eh??" She had only met me less than two months ago but she already knew me inside and out. "I almost burst out in laughter seeing the expression on your face when Will said he would go with you too."
"Shut up. I was just, well, intrigued? Besides, nothing happened. Nothing really happened. Nothing much happened."
"C'mon. Tell me. I can tell something happened. Just tell me. You can trust me. Anyways, if you don't tell me, I might just have to tickle you into submission."
"Fine. Fine. I submit." I couldn't help laughing. "Ok, well, we were right outside the building when I tripped. And basically, when we landed at the bottom of the hill, he was right on me. And, Diane, it was like heaven. I could feel his warm body on me, the whole weight just pressing me into the ground. His eyes staring into mine."
"So, so, did anything really interesting happen? You know what I want to hear."
"Baby steps Diane. Besides, before I could do anything, he got up to leave. But he did say he would `love' to go out sometime. What do you think?"
"I think you have major problems Dave. As much as I can tell, Will could be either straight or gay. But he could be dropping some subtle hints about himself. I guess I'll have to do some snooping. Then again, why don't you ask Xavier? They seem like good enough friends to know each other's sexual preference."
See, now that's where the problem is. How could I ask Xavier if Will was gay, if Xavier didn't even know I was gay? And I wasn't exactly ready to out myself to him. "Well, see. The problem is, Xavier doesn't know I am gay."
"What?! You guys have been rooming for almost two months and he hasn't figured it out yet. He must have seen the way you look at guys, like Will and Matt. How come you don't tell him? I'm sure he would be ok with you being gay."
"Well, see..." I trailed off, trying to think of what to say.
"You like him, don't you?" I hated the way she said it. With her little smirk and mischievous expression.
"Well..."
"And things get complicated." By now she was laughing her head off.
"Shut up Diane. I don't know. I have never been in this position before. In high school, it's not like I was asking guys out on dates or anything. And besides, what if Xavier is straight? What if he is homophobic? Then rooming with him will be a disaster. And then I'll probably lose him as friend because why would he want to be friends with a queer."
"Dave, I am pretty sure Xavier is more understanding than that."
"Well, all I know is that you better not tell anybody. Not yet at least. I'm not really ready to come out to more people. And telling nobody includes Matt. This is one secret you'll have to keep from him. Which by the way, how are things going on between you? If you say I looked so smitten when I was with Will, you should look at a mirror whenever you and Matt are around each other. It's almost disgusting how much you two flirt."
"Well, things are going well if I say so myself. He's so nice. All the guys in my high school were real assholes. They never treated me the way Matt does. I really like him, Dave. But there is one little snag. He still has a girlfriend. And he's kind of hung up on her. The flirting you saw, well, that is really as far as it goes. I can't let it go further than that. I don't want to compromise him."
"I understand. Well, you should just tell him to break up with the girl."
"Yah, and why don't you tell Xavier that you are gay."
"Touché. Ok then. Let's make a deal. Before Thanksgiving break, you ask Matt about his girlfriend and I'll tell Xavier that I am gay."
"Deal."
So the weeks went on. All of us got into a routine. Mon., Wed., and Fri. were basically schools days for us. Tues. and Thurs. we would all go to the student center or some event that was going on. On Sat. we went partying. And on Sunday we recovered.
One day, in early November, I got a call from Will.
"Hey, Dave? It's Will."
"Hey man. What's up? How are you doing? I haven't heard from you in two weeks. I thought you probably died or something if Xavier didn't tell me he saw you at the gym."
"Yah, well, I've been really busy with school and all. Sorry I never got around to seeing you. But hey, there's this band playing at a nearby coffee shop tonight. You wanna come with me?"
"Sure. I would love to go." Shit, I used the word love. Again. But I was so freaking giddy just hearing his voice. "What time do you want to go?"
"Um, around 8 or 9."
"How about the others? Do you think I should invite them?" Shit, what in the hell was I thinking?? I just ruined a possible date alone with this guy.
"Um, sure, if you want to. I don't really know if they are into this type of music. But they can come. No problem."
Damn. I was hoping he would say no. So I said bye and proceeded to ask Diane, Matt, and Xav. Since Xavier wasn't around, I went to ask Diane. I was stepping out my room when I could hear shouting in the hallway. I was wondering who it was. As I got nearer to Diane's room, I figured out she and Matt were having a fight.
"What are you talking about? Break up with her? I've been with her for almost three years! I can't just break up with her!"
"Why not? I really like you. And I'm pretty sure you like me. I mean, long distance relationships. How long are you going to stay with her? I really like you Matt. Why can't you break up with her?
"I just can't!" And with that, Matt stormed off into his room. I crept into Diane's room and found her crying.
"Di, I heard what was happening. I guess you told him about your real feelings. Guess it didn't go as you planned."
"Yah, but oh well. C'est la vie right? Hehe, I'm already speaking French more than you and you're taking classes for it."
"Do you want me to stay here with you? Tonight? You look like you need a lot of cheering up. That and two pints of cookie dough ice cream. We need to splurge."
I could sense she was getting somewhat better. He sobbing has decreased to a small whimper. So that whole night, we spent the whole night talking about anything. Just hopefully to take her mind off of Matt. I didn't think Matt would react like this. I didn't.
"You weren't joking when you said you were a sensitive guy. If you didn't have two testicles, a penis, and a low voice, I swear you could be a girl."
"Ha..ha. Not funny. I guess growing up with two older sisters, comforting people like this just comes natural to me."
"Well, alls I know is that you're gonna make some guy really happy. Talking about guys, how are things going between you and Will. Have you told Xavier yet?"
Oh shit. Will. What time is it???? Fuck. It's already 12. I can't believe I spent almost 6 hours in Diane's room. "Fuck! I was supposed to meet him in the club tonight around 8. I can't believe I forgot."
"Oh. I'm sorry Dave. If I knew, I really would have told you to go."
"No, it's not your fault. But I am going to have a hell of a time explaining this to Will."
"Well, if you need someone to back up your story, just bring him to talk to me. I'll set him straight, no pun intended. He he. Anyways, I thank you Mr. Cordais for helping me in my time of need, even if it meant sacrificing your first date with a guy. I really appreciate all of this. I hope you know that."
"I do. Anyways, I'm gonna go back to my room now. Hopefully I'll be able to reach Will on his phone or something." And with that, I went back to my room. "Hey Xavier."
"Oh. Hey Dave. What's up?"
"Well, two bad things happened. First, Matt and Diane had a fight, and I spent 6 hours consoling her. Second, I think I just stood up Will. He wanted some of us to go to a coffee shop and listen to a band. I can't believe I forgot."
"Wow, sounds bad. Hope Diane is doing well. And hopefully Will. Sounds like you stood him up for a date. Awww."
"Shut up."
"I'm just kidding. Oh well, I hope you work things out with everyone."
"Well, actually, I still need to work one thing out." Shit. What am I trying to say? Am I going to tell him that I am gay here and now? What if he tells Will? Then not only will he be mad at me for not going to the shop, but also because I'm gay. Shit. I shouldn't have said that.
"Huh? What is it?"
"Uh, never mind."
"You know you can tell me. Trust me."
"Uh, no, it's ok. I don't have any more problems. Night!" Good recovery Dave, good recovery. Geesh. I hope I didn't sound too obvious. Oh well. Looks like he dropped it.
The next day I ran into Will, who didn't look too happy when I saw him. "Hey Will, about last night..."
"No need to say anything. You know, if you didn't want to go in the first place, you should have just told me."
"Will, it's just that D..."
"It's ok Dave. You don't need to explain yourself. I know why you didn't come last night." And he stormed off. Shit. I just crashed and burned. Dammit! He didn't even give my a chance to explain. Consequently, I got all pissed off. I ran back to my room angry as hell.
"Wow, what happened to you? It looks like someone pushed the wrong button."
"Shut up Xavier. I'm in a bad mood."
"Well, sorry for trying to care. Look, don't get all pissy at me. I have done absolutely nothing to you. What is wrong with you? You have never acted this way before. And I'm not really liking it." He stood up and started out of the door.
I quickly got up and grabbed his arm. "Sorry. I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have acted the way I did. Look, are you busy right now?"
"No. But keep this up and I'll make myself busy."
"Ok. Well. Let me explain. First of all, I need to tell you one thing."
"What is it?"
Now or never Dave. Just tell him! He'll be ok with it. "Well..." Shit, nothing else was coming out of my mouth.
"Dave, just tell me. It can't be that big, can it?"
If he only knew. "Xavier, I'm gay."
------------------------------------- Ok ok ok. So it might take one more chapter so for this to pick up. But keep reading. If you have any questions or comments, write me at Streyn@hotmail.com Thanks