Author's Note:
Ok. So this is my first try at writing a story. Hopefully some of you out there will read this and hopefully like it some bit. This story is not one of those "Oh, did I drop something. I must now bend down. Oh my bad, I don't have any underwear on. Do you think you could help me" stories. It's just about a college guy trying to find the right person. So if that disinterests you, you should stop reading. Otherwise, read on. The story may be a little slow, but it will eventually pick up around the following parts to come. If you have any comments, e-mail me at Streyn@hotmail.com
This story is completely fictional. So any similarities you may see are purely coincidental. In other words, don't bite my ass off if it just so happens that you're life just happens to be exactly like the one in this story.
Also, if you are under age or it is illegal for you to be reading this, then go away now. Don't want you reading something you shouldn't now. Also, if these kinds of stories are not to your liking, you should leave as well
------- CHAPTER 3
"Xavier, I'm gay." There. I said it. Finally. I suppose that wasn't too hard. But now what? Is he just going to stand there? I mean, he had to see this coming. And who cares if he doesn't approve. Well, I care. But that's beyond the point.
"Oh."
Oh???? What is that supposed to mean? "Well, I just wanted you to know. I figure there's no real use hiding it from you. We will be rooming for another 6 months and I'd like to live without hiding anything from you. I just wanted to tell you mainly because you have become a really good friend. And hopefully you'll stay that way?"
"Huh? Yah. No, um, I have to go right now. I forgot that I have a class."
"Sure. You better get going. Wouldn't want to be late, would you? I'll just talk to you later. Things are cool with us, right?"
"Yah. No problems." And with that, he left our room.
This only left me even more thoroughly confused. I pretty much kept out of sight for the next few days. Long term papers and exams were easily helping me out. I guess I sort of avoided my room. I stayed as long as possible in the library or student center. I was going to leave back for Washington in about one day. I was just ending some stuff before I went back. Diane and Matt were still not on talking terms which was really destructive for our going out routine. And as for Xavier and me, we talked. But it seemed like there was a big distance between us. That day, I was just studying in the library when Will happened to be in the same area as me. Suddenly, all these thoughts were rushing into my head. What should I say? Did Xavier tell him I was gay? "Hey Will. What's up?"
"Oh nothing much. I just need to grab a book and I'll be on my way."
"Wait. Will. Why are you in such a hurry? I mean, this IS a public library."
"Dave, I'm just late for meeting someone."
Who is this someone? Most likely some random girl. Who knows? Oh well. I decided to ask him, "Can we please talk. The last time we really talked, well, I was trying to explain why..."
"Look. Dave. I'm really not in the mood for talking right now if you don't mind. I'm sure we can do this later."
No, I wanted to talk to him right now. He quickly rushed out of the library before I could catch him. Dammit. I couldn't let it end like this. I really wanted to be his friend. I really wanted him to be my friend. I ran out of the library with all my stuff as quickly as I could. Shit, where did he go? Maybe he just went back to his dorm, I ran as quickly as I could but he was nowhere to be found. I had lost him.
"Dave."
That sounded like Will. But where was he?
"Dave, come over here."
There he was. Against the wall of the dorm, covered by some bushes. No wonder I didn't see him. I quickly ran over to him. Already out of breath, I could barely talk. "Look...gasp...I was sorry...for not going that time...gasp...with you...gasp...to the coffee shop. I couldn't. See, my friend, I'm not sure if you remember her..."
"Diane."
"Yah, Wait, how did you know?"
"I talked to her. She told me how you stayed with her after her fight with that guy. She told me how you stayed with her and comforted her. Cared for her."
"So you knew? Then how come you've been acting that way? Like, trying to get out of the library as quickly as possible? How come you're trying to avoid me?"
"I wasn't! Well, I wasn't really. Actually, a few days after we fought, I went up to your dorm. I tried knocking but you and Xavier weren't there. Diane came out of her room and recognized me from that time we went out. Then she told me the story."
"Yah, but that still doesn't explain why you've been avoiding me." So let's see, we fought, he came to talk, I wasn't there, he talked with Diane, and he knew why I wasn't able to go. Did he just not to be my friend?
After a while, Will finally spoke up. "Look. And don't speak. I really need to get this out. And I need you to stand against this wall the whole time. Don't leave. Don't talk. Just listen. Ok. I really like you. I want to get to you know you more. Ever since we had that walk, I have been trying to manage some get together. So when you didn't come that time, I was really hurt. I just thought that you might be being nice to me just because I was Xavier's friend and all. And when you came to me the next day, I didn't want to see your face. But after I thought for a while, I remember how distraught you looked, so I went to see you. But I felt even more dejected when you didn't answer your door. Then, when Diane told me her story, I felt even more worthless. You tried to explain why you weren't able to come and I didn't even let you try. I was being a real bastard. After this, I just thought I didn't deserve to be your friend, with the way I was acting and everything. I guess I was trying to avoid you. I feel really horrible for the way I acted towards you that day. So, when I saw you in the library, I tried to get out as quickly as possible because I thought you didn't want to be around me. I'm really sorry. I really like you. I really want to be your friend, and I really want you to be mine. I know this is sudden, I mean, we just got to know each other. I'm gay. I want you to know that. I want to form a friendship with you knowing that I'm gay. I know you might not want to be associated with me anymore. I just, well, ever since that time we landed at the bottom of the hill, I felt something there. A real closeness that I have never felt with anyone before."
"Will..." He amazed me. Now I knew how he really felt. And now, I wanted to be with him even more.
"Wait. There's just one more thing."
Standing against the wall, there was no real place for me to go. What else did he need to say? He inched closer to me. Taking my hands into his own, he pressed his body into mine, pinning me against the wall. Slowly, he brought one hand to my chin. Our faces inched closer and closer, him pulling me to his lips. We were millimeters away when...
"Wait. Will. Stop. I can't."
"Oh. I understand. I'll just go now. It's ok. You don't have to talk to me anymore. I know how you feel. I don't know what came over me. " He looked so rejected. Stupid! Why did I stop!? He started to walk away. No, I wouldn't let him go without explaining this time around.
"Will! Would you stop for a second? I need to tell you something."
"What?" He turned around and stared me in the face. He was crying. He was actually crying. His tears falling down his face. His eyes looking down at the ground. "Do you want to make fun of me now?"
"Will. Look, this is really hard for me to say too. I mean, I have only told one person. Well, it's just..." I took his face into my hands. I looked him straight in the eyes. "I'm...I'm gay too. Well, at least, I think I am." The moment I said this, I noticed he stopped crying. I think I saw him start to smile. "I mean, well, it's kind of hard to be gay when I haven't really been with a guy before. And I guess I was also reluctant to start a relationship with you because I thought you might have a lot more experience with relationships. I've only had two, and they were pretty horrible, and..."
"Shhh. Stop talking for one second." He put this finger over my lips. Then he grabbed my body close to his. We just stood there for a while, looking into each other's eyes. He smelled so good. I wiped away any remaining tears with my hands. Then I inched toward his face. Closer and closer, my heart was starting to beat a lot faster. My breathing quickened. I was so nervous. I hadn't kissed someone on the lips in almost two years. I started to say something but Will quickly stopped me.
"You really know how to ruin a moment, don't you? Just be quiet for a few seconds." And with, he closed my lips with his. The heat, the sensual touch of his lips against me. Everything just became second nature. We just stayed against that wall kissing for minutes. He shocked me when I felt his tongue on mine. I had never kissed anyone with such love and body. Our hands roaming, searching each other's body.
"Wait, I think I hear someone coming."
"Who cares? Just keep kissing me." And so I did. He started kissing my neck, nibbling on my ear. It was so wonderful. I wish this moment would never stop. But it eventually had to.
"Will, I need to go. My plane is leaving in less than 16 hours. I need to get some rest. And I know that won't happen if I stay here with you. Believe me, I would love nothing more than to stay here with you. But I need to get some sleep. Are you doing anything for Thanksgiving break?"
"Yes, I am going back to Baltimore. Spending some time with the family."
"Ok, well, Baltimore is only an hour drive from Washington. How about we meet up sometime what we are down there?"
"I would love that." We kissed one more time.
And so, I walked him to his dorm and dropped him off. "See you in a few days."
After this, I ran over to my dorm. I couldn't wait to tell Diane all about what happened. The moment I got to her room, I just started to pour out everything. From our meeting in the library, to making out in the bushes, to dropping him off. Oh, just retelling the whole thing made me so happy.
"That's really great, Dave. I'm glad you two finally got together. I would have told you that I had talked with Will but he made me promise I wouldn't say anything. Also, it's not like I have seen you in a while."
"I'm sorry."
"Well, I guess I forgive you. You're so freaking giddy. Your happiness is starting to sicken me. Then again, I wish I could say the same about Matt and me."
"What is happening with you two anyways?"
"Well, his flight left today. I saw him leaving the dorm. I'm pretty sure he saw me. He didn't look very happy. And I'm glad. He's such an asshole."
"Now, now, I'm sure he'll come around."
"I hope so. Now, go to sleep already. Also, one last thing. About our bet. Did you tell Xavier that you were gay?"
"Yah. I don't think he took it too well. The last time we really talked was when I told him."
"I'm sorry."
"Yah, well, at least now he knows. Guess there's nothing much I can do about it. Ok, I'm going to my room now. Have a safe flight back to Florida. I will see you in one week after I get back from D.C. Love ya dear."
"Bye hun."
So one more goodbye left to make. Xavier. Walking to my room, I could see that he was there. I stayed outside for a bit. What should I say? Should I tell him about Will? Should I try and discuss more with him about me being gay? I had no clue what to do. I finally walked in. "Hey Xavier."
"Oh. Hey Dave. So you're leaving tomorrow? Spending Thanksgiving with your family?"
"Yah. How about you?"
"Nah, I'm staying here. Some other people I know are staying in Boston too so we just have our own Thanksgiving."
"That's good."
And then there was silence, as if there was nothing more to talk about. I tried to start another conversation but I couldn't. In the past, I could talk to him about anything. We could even talk about which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle was better, or what kind of cartoons we watched. But now, nothing came to mind. It was as if there was a big flashing neon sign "GAY?" hanging over our heads. Neither of us really wanted to talk about it I suppose. We might say something stupid to each other. So we both went about our own business. Eventually I fell asleep. I woke up the next morning and got ready to leave for Logan Airport. Xavier was still asleep so I didn't want to wake him up. He looked so cute. So peaceful. His low snore. Stubble growing on his face. But then I remembered our current situation. So I quietly left our dorm. No need for more painful goodbyes. Besides, I would see him in a week when I returned.
So now I am on an airplane to National Airport in D.C. But now what? I had this huge revelation about my sexuality. But how and when should I tell my parents? Would they know? What I am thinking? Of course not. I guess it's just my paranoid tendencies. But I had to deal with this. I guess I could just tell them later. After a two hour flight, we finally touched down in D.C.
I was back home. I should be excited to be back with my family. So then why did I feeel so anxious? Oh yeah, my family. That's why.
------------------------------------------ Ok, this chapter is a bit shorter than the others I guess. I suppose now that I'll have to compensate in the next chapter. Again, if you have any questions, comments, or ideas, e-mail me at Streyn@hotmail.com Thanks