Here are several pieces, all of which share the theme of me learning my place as a cocksucker.
A Really, Really Straight Guy
I had an interesting experience at work (OK, I still have to stop and marvel when I say that). Mike called me into his office and told me that he was sending me to a straight guy, like really straight, who was climbing the walls because his wife wouldn't suck his cock and getting good head was pretty much all he could think of.
He told me not to speak to this guy unless I was spoken to, which is fine with me. I went to the guy's office, he unzipped, and I went about showing him what it's like for a man to get a real blowjob from a serious cocksucker. The interesting part was afterwards. I always keep a man's cock in my mouth until he tells me to take it out. I did the same with this guy. After a couple of minutes, he kind of tentatively said "Um, go now". As I got up to walk to the door, he averted his eyes so he couldn't see me and then he covered his face with a baseball cap.
It was pretty clear that he was an honest to goodness straight guy, and he had me sucking him because he had a need and I was the best way to fill it. But once he came, he needed not to be near a male cocksucker, because his desire was gone and he was just left with the fact that he had let a guy suck his cock and swallow his load. The next time I sucked him, I got off his cock right away, and I was already leaving when he started to tell me to go. And again, he covered his eyes so he didn't have to look at me. I only saw it out of the corner of my eye, because I realized that I shouldn't look at him once he came.
I've never had a guy react like that before, but I'm grateful that I could be of service even to a guy who can't bring himself to look at me.
Rick's Cocksucker
On the other hand, someone emailed me and said he'd like to get a look at Rick's cock. Here was my response:
I'm not allowed to talk to him other than to say "Hello, Mr. Jones" and "Thank you, Mr. Jones". He regards me as a member of the service staff, like the janitors. All of his decisions about my job have gone through Mike, and after my first session with Rick, Mike called me in to say that I had done a good job and to tell me the rules for how I was to behave around Rick.
It makes sense. Like I said, I have the credentials to be a reasonably high-level employee, but that's becoming more and more of a cover so they can pay me to be a cocksucker. Rick has people who provide all kinds of services for him, and none of them would dare cross the line and ask him for anything.
BTW, it's literally "Hello, Mr. Jones" when I arrive and "Thank you, Mr. Jones" after I swallow, and nothing else. Any other questions he asks are yes or no, and I nod my response. (Which is good, because usually my mouth is full of cock.) Anything else I have to say to him goes through Mike.
Which is my long way of saying that unfortunately, if you want a picture of his cock, you would have to ask someone who he was on intimate terms with. I'm just his cocksucker.
Put In My Place
Wow, did I fuck up today.
I'm in my new office now. An Indian guy came in, mid-40s, good shape, and just said "You're gonna like sucking this". He undid his belt and dropped his pants to reveal a massive--just immense--thick, uncut cock. It had to be a good 9.5" long and it was so thick that my jaw still hurts from doing my job. In terms of overall size (weight, volume, whatever) it was probably the biggest cock I've ever seen in my life. I'm pretty skilled at servicing guys of all sizes and shapes, but this was a challenge for me. Basically he just inserted it and started fucking my mouth until he worked his way down to my throat. I couldn't work it with my lips or tongue. There was just no room to move. Even the head, which was the size of a nectarine (and just as juicy :D ) was too big for me to do anything but let my mouth be used as a tube for fucking. That was fine with me, of course, but I hoped that my feeder wouldn't be disappointed in the quality of the head I gave him.
Well, he wasn't disappointed. I was able to take a good fucking, and he ignored things like my gag reflex and my breathing and just used me as the hole he needed. When he shot his load, it left his dick at a point that was already down my throat. I have no idea how big it was or what it tasted like, but I can tell you that it was 8 or 9 spurts. It was like having an epileptic anaconda in my mouth! I could feel the cock muscles jerking, and the waves of cum as they passed through his cock and into my stomach. Amazing!
Then I met with Mike for him to give me my weekly performance assessment. He gives me compliments and complaints, allows me to explain anything that needs explaining, and then gives me his assessment of what I need to work on as a cocksucker.
He asked me about the Indian guy, who turned out to be a client. And this is where I fucked up.
"Fucking incredible cock, Mike. He puts Rick to shame."
The performance assessment passed without incident, and I went back to my office. I didn't have any idea of what I had done. About 5 minutes later I got a call from Rick--strange enough, because as I said, he doesn't deal directly with the help. He was pissed off beyond belief and all he said was "Get. The fuck. Into my office." (New office or not, Rick is too important, too hot, and too alpha male to travel to get his cock sucked. I'm still going to him.)
I was freaked out, and I went up to the exec floor and went into Rick's office. I'm a beta male, and I know my place. The look on Rick's face alone was enough to make me wonder if there was such a thing as a gamma male. I had done something to piss him off, and the feeling of his superiority and my submissiveness was almost electric. It was nature reminding me of the order of things.
Rick whipped out his cock. "Does this look like it's ever been put to fucking shame?"
"No, Mr. Jones."
"Who the fuck do you think you are? You get paid suck cock. You don't judge cocks."
"Yes, Mr. J--"
He backhanded me and told me not to speak. I was afraid I was going to be fired. I hadn't just been impolitic and said something that I needed to apologize for. I had insulted the cock of a senior executive who could destroy me a thousand times over without breaking a sweat. This was serious. Very serious. I had not only jeopardized my job, but I had also violated one of the very basics of being a cocksucker: a cocksucker is grateful and shows respect to the men who allow him access to their cocks.
I have never in my life felt as humiliated, as wrong, or as scared as I did at that moment.
Rick proceeded to lecture me about his cock, his conquests, and my role as a cocksucker. He went over the basics of what he expects from an employee and more specifically from an employee like me. I deserved the dressing down, and I was thankful that he wanted to correct my behavior rather than fire me.
What happened next is hard to describe. If you've seen the scene in Fargo where the Native American guy whips Steve Buscemi with his belt, that will give you an idea. Rick demonstrated the superiority of his cock by using it to smack me around. I can honestly say that I learned to respect that cock more than any other cock I've ever known. When he was done with his lecture and with the beating (really what it was), he looked at me with just about as much contempt as I've ever seen, and said "Suck it".
I had already serviced him twice before today. I always do my best for any man who uses me, but I was driven to make this the absolute test of my abilities as a cocksucker. I gave him the best, hungriest, wettest, hottest, deepest, longest, most pleasureful blowjob I know how. I was worried that my livelihood was still at stake, and I do not want to lose my job. Even more than that, cocksucker is my identity, and it was even before I had this job. I needed to redeem myself after having screwed up so badly. I needed to demonstrate the depth of my respect for Rick, and more importantly, my respect for the cock I had insulted.
The blowjob calmed Rick down, and he went into a blissful moaning, kicked back, and let me do what he pays me for. After a while of edging him and making him whimper with ecstasy, I could feel his balls tighten and his cock jump. He had crossed the point of no return. I kept working his cock until his load started shooting, at which point I kept my tongue going while I nursed his load out with the rest of my mouth.
Nothing, and I mean nothing, will ever put Rick to shame. After being serviced twice and having to berate a fuckup of an employee, he shot a load that was probably bigger than the previous two put together. It was an honor to be the receptacle for a load of that size, and doubly so because it came from a true alpha male and was a perfect demonstration of why he is one of the most perfect, virile, dominant men I will likely ever meet.
I learned today to remember that Mike is not my friend, he's my boss. I need to maintain a professional manner around him and not allow myself to try to take advantage of our acquaintance by crossing lines. He is the man who made this life possible for me, and I owe it to him to be as professional and as respectful as I know how. I also learned that I can never forget what I am--a submissive cocksucker. I suck cocks of all sizes and shapes. Mike knows that Rick has a bigger dick than him, and a bigger dick than everyone but the Indian guy. In saying that Rick was put to shame, I was saying that all of the men who allow me to fulfill my true reason for being alive should be ashamed of their cocks. Mike saw that I need to be taught a lesson, and he made sure I got it. He's taken a genuine interest in my development as a cocksucker, and I am humbly grateful to him, and of course to Rick, who was the one who taught me the lesson, and who was then kind enough to allow me to service the very cock I had belittled.
I was reminded of my place. I won't soon forget it.
A Man With His Cock in a Cocksucker's Mouth is a King
If I've learned anything, it's that a man with his cock in a cocksucker's mouth is a king. There is no difference between the way that I am treated by a janitor and the way that I am treated by Rick. Guys are friendly or distant, they are dominating or more egalitarian, they are how they are, but it has nothing to do with their status within the company. When they're offered a cocksucker, they use him, and they know they're in control.
I sort of knew this already. There was a day a few years ago when I sucked off the VP of facilities of a local biotech company, and a groundskeeper for the same company. Literally the highest and the lowest guys in the department. The VP was laid back and smiley, and the groundskeeper was totally dominant. What I'm experiencing now is pretty much the same.
The one thing that does separate men is cock size. Guys who are 8" or larger are almost always slightly more dominant. Men of all sizes take control and act as though I owe them service (which, of course, I do). But guys over 8" (and really thick guys over 7") almost universally have an amazing attitude that makes it clear that they know--not think or believe, but know--that they're doing a cocksucker a great honor and a great privilege by allowing them even to see such an incredible cock.
Consider the reprimand that Rick gave me yesterday. A smaller man would have been well within his rights to discipline a cocksucker/employee who did what I did, but it's possible that he might have done so partly out of insecurity. Rick is not insecure at all. He wasn't trying to convince me that he was dominant and that his cock was significant. He is dominant and it is a basic fact of his world that his cock is significant. He was showing my where I belong in the hierarchy of things.
Not all smaller-cocked men are insecure, of course, but I think that every large hung man I've met has been completely confident. It's hot as hell, that's for sure.
I think if some of the janitors got the chance to use someone like Mike or Rick (!), they'd probably be more dominant or aggressive. In my case, I showed up one day, and they got to use me the next, so even though I'm technically higher-up, they only ever knew me as a cocksucker. So maybe nobody gets into the idea that their cock is being sucked by someone who outranks them because they never thought of me as outranking them.
I'm just guessing, but that might be it.
Missed a Drop
It may seem strange, but one aspect of my job is that I'm rather isolated. I can't share what I do with anyone outside my feeders, and they don't care about me (of course), they just care about getting serviced. I can talk to Mike to some extent, though as I was reminded, I need not to forget my place. But even then he is my boss and he discusses my performance, my timeliness, any issues that my feeders have raised with him, and so on. He offers me guidance, but he's not a sympathetic ear, he's the manager of a cocksucker. I may do something very different from what other men at the company do, but I am treated exactly like any other employee. Every aspect of my performance is subject to scrutiny and review. It's an absolute fucking dream--and apparently the company's 3-month review process involves several stages and a group meeting. It's humiliating to have to discuss my cocksucking technique, or defend my actions if someone was unhappy with my gag reflex or in one case where I got throatfucked so well that my mouth and throat watered and watered, which left the guy's chair wet and made it unclear whether I had actually swallowed his entire load. (I did. I swear. The day I miss a drop of a feeder's load is the day I submit my resignation, because I will have ceased to be a cocksucker.) It's incredible to me that they know what I am and feel no compunction about criticizing my performance and helping me learn to do better.
I would never, ever, ever get defensive or disagree with a feeder's criticism of my performance. They are my superiors and they are well within their rights to tell me what I've done wrong so that I can fulfill my responsibilities to them as well as possible. What I was referring to when I talked about defending my actions was my weekly meetings with Mike. He gets feedback, and he takes notes. When there's a complaint about my technique or my behavior, he requires me to defend my choices. If I can't, a note goes into my cocksucker file with a corresponding note in my formal employee file. (Positions that are as independent as my research job have weekly meetings with weekly assessments.) It's a good way to help me maintain my discipline. In any case, it doesn't matter what my defense of my actions is. If there is a complaint, I have done something wrong and I need to correct myself in the future. And if a feeder felt that I missed even a drop of his cum, I didn't do my job. It doesn't matter whether I swallowed it all or not. It matters whether my feeder believes that his load was shown the proper respect.
In my new office I have chair covers that I can change between feeders. I also have an array of towels and wipes, a hairdryer, and a private washroom where my feeders can clean up if they want. The mess is less of a problem than it was when I was traveling to my feeders, and I can tell they're pleased at the level of attention to detail that they receive when they come in to be serviced.
It was just that one feeder who thought I missed a drop of his cum, and it's my fault for not giving him proper service. The seat covers are dark, so any cum that spills (which I already regard as a sign of sloppiness or failure on my part) is visible and I can lick it up. I always scan my feeder and the chair and the floor to make sure I haven't offended him by wasting any of his cum.
I do thank my feeders, of course. Some of them thank me, and I always make it clear that I don't expect to be thanked, but I always say "You're welcome". Mike always gives me any special instructions if they're necessary, and he makes sure in my weekly reviews that he goes over what behavior is expected of me.
I'm not ready to declare myself dedicated. I work hard to please my feeders and my bosses, but I still make mistakes. On some level I know that I'm good at what I do, but I don't let myself get caught up in that idea. It's better if I always think that I've probably done something wrong and that I can always improve. Otherwise I risk thinking that my feeders have the privilege of using me, when the privilege is mine to be allowed to serve them. I don't think a cocksucker has any room for ego.
I hope I'll do well at my review. A raise would be great, and honestly, I can't think of a higher honor for a cocksucker than to pass a review of three months of blowjobs. Maybe it's unrealistic, but there are a lot of cocksuckers out there who would kill to have my job, and I sometimes think that if I slack off, I could be replaced. I know that there are a lot of other issues, including discretion (which Mike came to trust in over a period of years as my feeder). But I'm going to keep working my hardest so that I will deserve to keep my job.
Oh, also...Until I've demonstrated proper respect and reverence for Rick's cock, I am not allowed to speak in his presence or to look him in the eyes. Not being allowed to look at him is probably the most humiliating thing I've ever been subjected to, so it's having its intended purpose. It's definitely making me remember that he is my superior in every sense, and it makes me grateful that he didn't just fire me after what I did.
He has beautiful eyes. Fuck, he has a beautiful everything. It will be nice when I've earned the privilege of looking at him again.