Programmed Emotions Chapter 8
Chapter 8
I walk into the universe. It's the only way to describe it. Stars above me. Stars below me. A dark blanket, contrasting with blacks and yellows, and the occasional white, which is shaped like a circle and sometimes a crescent. There are stars which dot the blanket in an intricate pattern. This is space.
And I feel so dizzy that I start falling but I reach over and there is a hand grabbing me, holding me up.
"Be careful," he states," It's just an illusion. This is what is possible when IT isn't putting limits on us."
The entire room resembled a galaxy. A world detached from reality. It was magic. And for some reason, it even made it more magical when he grabs me.
I want it to be magical. The man of my dreams grabbing me and pulling me close into this dream world and then I realize exactly what Bronx was.
"Get off of me," I push him away.
"Cassius wait----"
"What?"
I give him the chance to speak. I don't think he expects it. He probably expects me to storm off. I should have. But for some reason, I want to hear an explanation. Why would he lead me on this entire time knowing damn well he was in love with my father and not me.
After a few awkward seconds of silence, it's Larson who utters a long hard, "We don't have time for this..."
He's right. The issue between Bronx and I is not the reason that we're here today.
Bronx must realize that too because he immediately states, "Everyone split up and use your communicators when you find Macro."
Bronx walks away from all of us. Clearly, he isn't in the mood to be around everyone right now. It's at least nice to know I have the potential to piss him off.
I wonder if anyone else notices until I see Tessa put her arm over my shoulder, "You're growing on me. You know that?"
"Because me and Bronx aren't getting along?"
"Because you aren't like those other two idiots kissing his ass even though he constantly rejects them," she explains.
Tessa had a point. Right now I think both Larson and Nano were following Bronx like pet dogs attempting to get in contact with him. The thing is though Tessa had a deep resentment for Bronx. The kind of resentment that I didn't want to have. But it was so hard. Was I just as resentful towards Bronx as Tessa was because of him rejecting me?
"I'm not taking any of this personal."
"Why are you trying to convince? Yourself or me?" she asks and before I get to answer she quickly adds, "Listen it's OK. Bronx only cares about himself. You aren't special. You never were. You're learning that the hard way. Like the rest of us..."
She walks away steaming in her own way. My heart is racing to wonder if I was ever going to get as bad as her.
I walk through the galaxy on the invisible ground and realize this party had other people in it. People like me. People who are online and realize what is really going on in the world. The party-goers spread out like little stars amongst the galaxy room, mixing and talking as though it was the most natural thing in the world.
And all of a sudden I'm desperate to find Bronx, or Tessa or hell even Larson for that matter. Anything familiar. But instead, my eyes set on a glowing orb floating in the air. For some reason I find myself moving towards the orb as though drawn to it.
And there is a lady there. Sitting, right in front of the orb. She's beautiful in her own way and she's dressed like some sort of shaman, covered in rags.
"Hello..."
She doesn't speak to me in return. She just offers me her hand. I'm terrified of taking it.
"Go ahead..." someone encourages me on.
I turn and notice a man that I haven't seen before. The room is mixed with suits, high-class people who seem to all know each other. I'm the new one in the room. I'm the outsider. This man wasn't. He had on a double-breasted suit, with a tie and a handsome smile. He has black hair. So black that they are as dark as the distant areas of this galaxy room. His eyes are the only thing darker than his hair. His skin is a deep tan. His lips are pink. He speaks with a heavy accent but I can't quite put my finger on where it's from. Some European country perhaps. Or maybe Middle Eastern? Syria perhaps? I'm not sure.
But he leans in and he's closer than I'd ever imagined.
"I don't really believe in fortune tellers."
"You are Bronx's new recruit," the man states.
"Is it that obvious?"
"There's not many of us. Not many who are online. We all know each other," he explains pausing and smiling, "Information is key in the system. I'd like to share some information with you. Have you ever wondered what a fortune teller was? What it truly was?"
"Someone who received information from the spirit world."
He laughs at the thought. His deep accent is sexy. What's even sexier is how he leans into me as though telling me this intense secret. He's so close that I can feel his lips literally press up against my ears.
He whispers slowly, "Fortune tellers are online. They are nothing more than hackers. People who have insight into IT's grand design. There is no such thing as the spirit. Everything is intelligence."
"Surely not everything."
Who was this strange man?
"Everything, prove me wrong. Speak to her."
I pause but a part of me finds it necessary to prove this guy wrong. So I walk forward. I grab the woman's hand.
Her eyes roll into the back of her head and she speaks from a voice that I don't recognize. A voice that I couldn't assume would come from her. It's deeper than a female's voice and it sounds far away as though muffled behind a glass wall.
"You are trying to fight feelings for someone," she explains to me.
"Is that true?" the man beside me asks.
"I think so..."
"Already catching feelings for me?" he jokes with a sly smile crossing his face, "I just met you."
"Very funny," I state turning back to the medium, "Continue."
"If you're having fighting feelings for this person then you should continue to fight it."
"What?"
I wasn't expecting that.
"Fight it," she assures me, "With everything you have. A love like this is powerful if it is given room to flourish. A love like this could destroy...everything..."
"MACRO!"
At this point, I'm so shocked by the news the medium is given me that I don't even realize that Bronx and his team have found me. What's more interesting is that they are calling this man next to me Macro. He was who we came to see. Macro, the handsome foreigner with the sly smile doesn't hesitate to smile even wider.
"I figured you wouldn't be far," Macro says, "Welcome Bronx."
Bronx isn't even concerned about Macro as he approaches, "Cassius I told you to reach out when you found Macro."
"How was I supposed to know who he was?"
Macro then does something interesting. He grabs me by the waist and sneaks up beside me. I don't know whether to pull away or get turned on by the way he grabs me up so quickly and intensely.
"What's the problem Bronx?" Macro asks, "I was just getting to know your new recruit, Bronx. We were just getting him a reading. Supposedly he is devastated by a star crossed love life."
Macro doesn't seem like the type to hold back about things. And it makes it really awkward when my eyes catch Bronx's eyes. There is an awkward moment where we don't know how to feel about what Macro is revealing.
"That's his business Macro," Bronx states.
He clearly wants to move on from this. He clearly doesn't want to discuss it. He's not alone.
"The reading meant nothing," I assure them.
Macro gives me a look. A look that tells me he doesn't believe what I'm saying. He opens his mouth as though ready to push the awkwardness even further but then stops and sighs, "Fine. What is it that I can do you for you boys?"
"Chuck is back," Bronx states.
"Your dead lover?" Macro asks, "Why would I care about that?"
"He's been on the inside. IT doesn't know he's still online. He has information that would weaken IT. He wants to have a gathering."
"Of who?"
"Everyone."
"Impossible, you've wasted your time coming here," Macro explains.
Macro starts walking away. All you hear is Tessa almost laughing giddily over Bronx's failure, "I told you," she gloats, "I told you it would be a waste of time trying to make this gathering happen."
Bronx ignores her and almost seems to beg, "Please. Chuck is relying on me to make this happen."
"Do you know how dangerous it would be?"
"I trust Chuck."
"Good. You can trust him all you'd like. But I don't," Macro response, "Chuck was always suspicious to me. He was always...problematic."
I don't know what Macro is saying but I'm surprised when Bronx seem stuck. It's as though all of a sudden he can't defend my father.
Tessa smiles, "We should go, Bronx. Give it up."
"Shut up Tessa," Bronx is clearly irritated at this point, turning to Macro, "What can I give you to make this happen?"
I should probably be gloating too. I understand Tessa a little bit more. Seeing Bronx left almost speechless because he doesn't know how to convince this man humbles him. He doesn't seem like this perfect beautiful man who was able to take off his shirt and get anything that he wanted. Whatever he was offering was something that Macro wasn't interested in.
Macro shakes his head, "Nothing..."
He's walking away and I can see Bronx just seems completely out of it.
"Wait."
Everyone turns to me. I shouldn't be speaking right now. I am the one who doesn't understand the history between my father, Bronx and this man named Macro. Clearly, there was something here that was causing Macro to be a bit resistant.
And for some reason me speaking stops Macro dead in his tracks.
"You had something to say?" Macro asks.
"I'm Charles---I mean Chuck's son," I reveal, "I don't know what kind of history you have with my father, but I know one thing. My father is a man of integrity. If he wants this meeting to happen there has to be a reason."
"YOU are Chuck's son," he states, "No wonder. You have that same look in your eyes. That same look that he had----"
I'm confused.
"What look?"
"The look that says you have a bit of destiny in your eyes," he states.
"Does that mean you'll help us?" I ask.
He gives me a look, "Fine. I'll gather them. At the Finnick's warehouse. I'll send over the details of when we'll meet. If Chuck has a way to end this war then let's do it. And let's do it quickly."
~
"How does it work?"
The week is going by fast and Larson is showing me a bit of his limb morphing abilities.
"A certain upgrade where the user can transform parts of their body to form a weapon of their choice into their hands and forearms, possibly their biceps, triceps and even shoulders."
His arm at this point is actually a fucking shotgun. He shoots the gun across the parking deck, blasting a huge hole into a car and causing the alarm to go off. For some reason, we start breaking out into laughter. And just at that moment, we are interrupted.
"Setting off car alarms?" the voice states, "Do you really want to bring attention to us before the meeting tonight?"
It's Bronx. He's standing across the deck. Larson and I both give him a look. The man was effortlessly sexy. His serious face, his slanted eyes, dark eyebrows and a tight tank top that clung to his muscular figure like a second skin. His muscles bulge as he stands there letting us know that he's definitely been lifting a lot.
"The kid was interested in my weaponized limbs," Larson states, "I was just showing him the ropes."
"He's not ready for that..." Bronx charges.
I'm irritated. This wasn't the first time he's said something like that this week alone, "Why am I not?"
"Weaponized limbs takes a lot of physical strength and endurance. That's why the only people capable of performing it in the group are me and Larson. You aren't ready."
"I'm a programmer..." I state.
"That doesn't mean you are indestructible."
The argument seems to be taking away from Larson and that's one thing Larson seems to dislike more than anything else.
"Fine," Larson shrugs, "Well whenever you are the ready Bronx...to shoot your guns with me, let me know. I'm sure you won't be shooting blanks either."
Larson licks his lips. He gets real close to Bronx. I'm not surprised when Bronx doesn't give him a second look. Looking at Larson I doubt that he was really surprised too as he smirks and walks away. He probably loved the chase.
And I just find it irritating.
"See you getting along with the team a little bit more," he states.
"Not as much as you are..."
"What's that supposed to mean?" he asks.
I shake my head. I wasn't going to give him this. None of it. I wasn't going to be like Nano who thought he was some living god, or Larson trying to have sex with him every chance he got. I definitely wasn't going to be like Tessa either so filled with resentment that couldn't even control her misery.
"You know what----nevermind," I state.
Nonchalant. That was where I was with him. I should hate him. I should hate him for not telling me about his relationship with my father. I should hate him for leading me on. Instead, though I wasn't going to give him the opportunity to know I'm in pain.
"Wait," he states, "I meant to talk to you."
I sigh, "About?"
"Am I bothering you?"
"Just say what you have to say," I respond, "I'm going to look for something to wear to the meeting tonight."
"Thank you for sticking up for Chuck," he states.
"I didn't do it for you," I state, "He is my father. There is a side of him that I know. And a part of him that I trust."
He pauses, "I understand. And I wanted to talk about that...day...between us."
"You want us to forget it happened?"
"I didn't say that."
"Forgotten," I respond.
I start walking away only to literally get grabbed, "WAIT. You're not letting me finish."
"What is it?"
"People are...drawn to me. I'm this leader. I'm this great...awakening. Sometimes people look at me with this expectation like I'm supposed to save them."
He had a point. Larson, Nano and even Tessa when she was in the right mood. They looked at him like he was the second coming of Jesus. As though wherever he lead them would be the path that they needed to be on.
"You have that sort of effect on people," I admit, "You had that effect on me."
I could have walked away from all this. I could have ignored it, but I didn't. Bronx Barnes was light and Curious Cassius was just someone following that light. Chasing it like Alice going through the looking glass.
"Sometimes though I'm not as confident as I let on," he lets me know, "I'm not as sure about my feelings. What I felt with you that night we kissed was real. But what I felt-----what I feel about your father is real too."
"And if you had to choose between my father and me?"
There is a pause.
He doesn't know. He's confused. The great leader who led the way for so many people to the freedom of their own minds was lost now.
He didn't know where to go.
And he doesn't respond.
"Listen. If you have to choose between my father and I...then choose him," I state.
I walk away this time.
And this time he doesn't stop me.
~
The gathering is late that night. I'm nervous. I don't know why. I'm standing in a dark hallway as these people walk past me. They were all sorts of people. Old people, young people. All different nationalities. All different shapes and sizes. They were reflective of the world we lived in but all of them had this look in these eyes. This look that told me that they were awakened. They were online. They knew the truth. That look seems aware but there is also something else there. Fear. They were afraid.
"Would you walk out with me?" my father asks me.
He'd shown up about an hour earlier. He isn't dressed in the usual black that I'd seen amongst these revolutionaries. He doesn't wear a mask like I noticed some of them are wearing as well. He has on jeans and a shirt. He seems so normal. As though he wasn't someone who was so important right now. The reason that dozens of people had flown from all over to gather in this room right now. He just seems like a normal guy. And when he looks at me I remember all those old days when he wasn't a revolutionary in my eyes. He was just my father.
"Shouldn't you be walking out with Bronx?"
My father shakes his head, "No. I want to walk out with you. You're the reason that I'm doing this. You're the reason that I'm still fighting. I want you to live free. I want you to be able to make your own choices. Not some design. Not some system. I want you to actually live your life and not have to be reassigned when need be like I was."
He offers me his hand. I look at it. A part of me wants to push him away. I want to resist. But then I realize that he doesn't have any reason to be fighting this really. He'd been accepted into the system but he still knew the truth. He was in the best possible scenario. Why help out Bronx and the others? There had to be another reason and right now he's telling me that I'm this reason.
"Sure."
I take his hand and we walk out together. Mrs. Finnick helps us out before whispering out to us, "People are antsy, Chuck. You may not have too long."
"I don't need a long time," he explains.
We walk out to silence. The room filled with blank empty stares looking at my father and because I'm standing at his side they are looking at me as well. I notice my team in the front row. They all seem to have this curious look on their face as though not quite understanding what was happening. And as we're watching them I notice Bronx. Bronx's eyes move from me to my father. They go back and forth. Back and forth. It reminds me of what we discussed yesterday. Him looking so stuck between a new interesting connection and an old flame that was too close for comfort.
"Thank you all for coming out."
"Please skip the pleasantries," a voice states, "Get the to...the point."
This was coming from Macro. The man is responsible for using his connections to gather all these strange resistors in the same office at this point.
"There is information. Information that I couldn't send out to everyone," my father explains, "Short and simple. I have reason to believe it is possible to remove the system from us completely..."
There is an immediate reaction. Talking. Doubt perhaps. Curiosity. All of it. The room swells with talk over what my father just explained and I can tell everyone is bothered. At this point though I notice that it's Bronx who stands up on a chair to get everyone's attention.
"Let him finish," Bronx states.
"Finish what?" Macro asks, "This is lunacy. How is this even possible?"
He was speaking for everyone else.
"Simple...because I know some people who were able to make it happen. A family."
"What family?"
"The Mastersons..."
"Are you saying that----"
"Humans exist," my father explains, "True humans exist and we can be that again..."
"HOW?" Macro asks.
He's not the only one who screams it out. A chorus rings out. It was as though my father was offering candy to a child at this moment. They are desperate for it. Their eyes coming to a realization that I think we all wanted to know. A way to free us from the system completely. Not online. JUST FREE. I could imagine some of these people who have known the truth for quite a long time. I could see this look of hope in their eyes.
And I'm shocked that it was possible?
The Mastersons were REAL humans?
The shock of it all seems surprising. But all of a sudden I see Nano running up to Bronx. He'd been on his computer it seems. I'm not sure what he was looking at. But something has gotten his attention. Something big. And whatever he tells Bronx causes Bronx's eyes to get wide.
No one notices but I do.
"Everyone----" Bronx tries to get everyone's attention.
No one's paying attention. No one sees the look on Bronx's eyes.
I walk off stage. I'm walking over to Bronx. He's screaming out to get everyone's attention but my father's news has caused a reaction that drowns it out.
"What's wrong?" I ask Bronx.
"We have to get everyone out. We have to get everyone out now..." he states.
"What?" I ask, "Why?"
Nano is looking at me, "A glitch. Something has changed in the system. Something big."
"What does that even mean?" I ask.
I hear a scream. The scream comes from Tessa. She's not too far away from us but I watch as he piercing scream fills the room. That's when Tessa drops to the floor!
DEAD.
"Oh my god!" I scream out.
All of a sudden everyone's running for the exit as soon as Tessa is shot. I just keep looking at her. Almost immediately she stops moving. She's dead. She's been shot in her head! I don't know what to do. I'm just staring at her. I'm unable to move.
There is this panic!
People running for the door. They can't get out! NO ONE CAN GET OUT!
"The doors are locked!" Nano states, "They are locked from outside. This is a slaughter. This is----"
And that's when I feel it. Something I've never felt before. Something horrible was coming my way.
"You felt that?" Bronx asks me.
I nod, "What is it?"
"IT knew about the meeting. Programmers are here. We won't escape. The revolution is over. Someone has betrayed us..."
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