It's impossible to grasp just how powerful love is. It can sustain us through trying times or motivate us to make extraordinary sacrifices. It can force decent men to commit the darkest deeds. Or compel ordinary women to search for hidden truths. And long after we're gone, love remains, burned into our memories. We all search for love. But some of us, after we've found it, wish we hadn't.
"Tyler," dad said, "Jared's here to see you."
I just looked at him with sadness and shook my head. He walked in and sat next to me. Dad and Jared I'm sure got close, but how can I just forgive him for betraying me?
"Look Tyler, I know it seems like he cheated on you, but if you would just listen to what he has to say. He's been here every day to try and talk to you. The least you could do is listen to what he has to say."
After some hesitant thinking I agreed to let him in. Before he did though, I did some thinking. What if Jared really didn't cheat on me? I mean sure, he went out with another boy, but he said nothing got serious.
"Hi, Tyler," Jared said in almost a whisper. He stood at the door probably waiting for me to let him in.
"Well, you can come in you know." I coldly said. Pain swept over his face. Maybe I should be a little nicer.
"Tyler, just let me say that I am so sorry. I had no intentions of hurting you. Austin and I aren't anything more than friends. And that's the way it's been since I met him."
I wouldn't look him in the eyes. I couldn't. My love for him was still there, but I'm not sure if I want to risk getting hurt again.
"It's been three weeks since we broke up and I have suffered every minute of it. I still love you, Tyler. And whether or not you believe me is up to you. But just know that I never had any intention of hurting you. I just needed comfort. Austin gave me that comfort in a non-gay way. He knows that you're awake and that I still want you. So he's backed off of me completely."
I started to cry, still not looking him in the eyes. I could tell he was crying as well. The atmosphere in the room was uncomfortable.
"So, I'm sorry for hurting you. Here's a present for you, since you missed Christmas and all. I would have given it to you sooner, but you wouldn't let me in. I love you, Tyler." he said as he left a small box on the rolling table next to my bed. I stared at the box, wondering if I should open it or not. For the next hour, my eyes never left that box.
"It sure is a small box." dad said.
"Huh?"
"Your present. You've been staring at it for over an hour since Jared left."
"Oh, yeah, I guess I have."
"Have you been thinking of him?" dad asked me with some hope in his voice.
"What's it matter? He cheated on me." I sadly muttered.
"You know, he didn't really cheat on you, Tyler. What he did was somewhat wrong, but in all fairness he needed someone to help him."
"I know, but I have already let him go." I cried.
"Oh," dad grunted. "Well, son, he apologized, he's been here everyday since the breakup and sooner than that even, and he gave you a gift. What else can he do?"
I turned my head to dad and stared at him. I was intrigued by his question. I'd never given thought to what Jared could do to completely let me forgive him.
"I don't know, dad." I pouted.
Dad walked over to my bed and gave me a kiss. I didn't even realize he left until a nurse came in to check on me. I liked this nurse. She reminded me of Lil' Kim.
"Are you related to Lil' Kim?" I asked her.
She just laughed and replied, "No, but thank you for the compliment."
"Sorry, I just had to ask." I laughed softly back. "Can I ask you something else, something a little more personal?"
"Sure, go ahead." she said.
"Say you had this boyfriend and he waited a long time for you to wake up from, let's say a coma, and then he tells you he was seeing someone else, but he also tells you that it was nothing but friendship. Would you believe him? I mean would you like want to get back together?"
"Well, it would depend on how much I love him. I can always tell when someone is lying to me. It's a gift that God gave to me and I am very grateful."
"Right, so say you still love him, a lot, but you've already let him go? Then what?"
"That's when I invite him back into my life. I grab onto him again. Never let go of a good thing. That's the best advice I can give you. Now can I ask you a personal question?" she asked as she was adjusting my tubes.
"Sure,"
"That boy that comes here everyday, is he the one you're talking about?"
"Yes,"
"Mm-hm, like I said, don't ever let go of a good thing."
Without waiting for a response she walked out of the room with a smile on her face. I didn't really know who she was, but she could be the new Oprah. I'm still in love with Jared. However, I have already let him go. But as the nurse said, I shouldn't let go of a good thing. So, as of this minute, I'm going to invite Jared back into m life. For the first time I had felt loved with him. Not the love parents or some rare friends could give you, but love that a boyfriend could only give you.
Nothing is forever. And the time comes when we all must say goodbye to the world we knew. Goodbye to everything we had taken for granted. Goodbye to those we thought would never abandon us. And when these changes finally do occur, when the familiar has departed, and the unfamiliar has taken its place, all any of us can really do is to say hello. And welcome.
Today I tried to apologize to Tyler, again. This time I brought a late Christmas present. But to no avail he didn't even talk. Actually he did, but that was rather cold. I'm hoping he'll come to realization that I didn't actually cheat on him. I never even touched Austin. Well, okay, he did hold me but that was after Tyler dumped me. Even then, it wasn't nothing more than him holding me as I cried my eyes out.
I still love him just as strong as the night we had our first date. That night is still very clear in my head. Us dancing, and eating, and then I asked him to be my boyfriend as he opened the small box that held a silver necklace in it with the engraving "Jared+Tyler=Love."
His soft blonde hair and his bright blue eyes were buried inside of me. I could imagine him standing in front of me. He had a perfect body, not muscularly, but nice. Tyler was about two inches shorter than I was so his body actually suited him perfectly. Just thinking about him was making me come to tears.
As I was deep in thought my cell phone rang.
I answered, "Hello?"
"Jared, can you come by?"
"Come by where? Who is this?"
"It's Tyler."
"Dad," I said, "dad!"
"What son? Is something wrong?" he asked, running into my room.
"No, no. But when Jared comes by just send him into my room." I said quietly.
My dad just looked me over and nodded. Then he walked out without saying a word. Ten minutes later, I hear the unmistakable sound of Jared's voice. That voice that I love so much. That voice that I want back, that I need back.
I shut my eyes trying to imagine him lying next to me. Him holding me closely and telling me that everything would be all right now. His body pressed against mine keeping me warm in this frigid weather. Those strong arms wrapped around my body--
"Tyler," Jared said gently.
I was suddenly pulled back into reality. But it was a good kind of reality. The reality that I wanted. The reality that I've wanted back for some time now.
"Hi, Jared," I replied shyly, "you can come in."
He smiled sheepishly and sat in the chair next to my bed. My eyes never left his movement.
"So you wanted to see me?" he asked with a look of hope in his eyes.
"Yes, I still love you."
Jared just sat there, looking back at me. He started to cry which was bringing me to tears. There was a glow to his once again.
"But before I move past everything I need you to tell me the truth and now's the perfect time. Did you do anything with Austin?"
Jared just looked at me through his watery eyes and smiled, "Tyler, I wouldn't lie to you. Austin and I just had lunch that day and talked a few other times. The closest I got to him was in an embrace he had on me after you and I broke up. That's it."
I knew he was telling me the truth. I could feel it. All right, I want him back in my life.
"Jared, I want to get back together. I've been miserable without you. I need to feel you again. Those warm arms, that body, and your smile I need again." I started to sob. He blushed at my compliments which made me let out a small giggle.
Unexpectedly, he rose up and sat on my bed and grabbed me into a tight hug. Tears were flowing freely from both of us. I love this boy.
"I feel so happy again, Jared." I cried.
"Me too, Tyler, me too." he cried back.
"I love you, Jared."
"I love you too, baby."
Okay, there's chapter 9. I tried my hardest to write this and I think I did a fairly good job. I completely redid this chapter. The original was that they did get back together and that they made there way home where things feel apart, again. I'll throw in some twists and turns still. Anyways, I created a new group, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Shades_of_Wisteria/. I'm gonna try and start posting my chapters there as well. So I hope you have a great Christmas and an awesome New Year.
Sincerely,
Bobby