No copyright infringement intended, just a fun story I wrote about the tv show Psych... Whether or not my character portrayal is accurate, these stories are intended for adults (or curious teens who are, of course, of legal consenting age...)... if you don't like men having sex... why the hell are you on Nifty and do us a favor and go away... seriously. If you have comments please send they will be welcome. Please leave positive and negative feedback so I know whether or not to hang up my computer. Again no money is being made so no copyright infringement is being done. This story is fiction and is not intended to imply anything about the true sexuality of the celebrities mentioned or any personal knowledge about their private lives. Copywright belongs to the company USA network. I am trying my hand at a new tv show. If you have not read my previous works and like this one, check out "Chuck" and "Merlin" in the Celebrities section. Have fun reading! Oh and please donate to nifty (or myself (only kinda kidding)-> college/writing/editing my own stories = very expensive/time consuming) to help support the website (and non-directly -> the authors... i'll still write whether or not donations come in)
(Author's note = A/N )
COMMENT damn you! What do I need to say to get more coments? "I pity the fool who doesn't COMMENT!" ??? Better? This time I will be imposing a five comment mandate... I would like five comments before I will complete the next chapter. (otherwise I may wait to post it)
Last time on Psych....
Shawn sat up from his bed. This cannot be happening to me! I have never been attracted to men before, this doesn't make sense! Why now!? Wouldn't my subconscious have told me by now!? Why did it have to be Carlton Lassiter of all the men I know? Why not Gus or Buzz? Hell even the bald guy from forensics would have been better than the stations head detective. Shawn put his head in his hands, he felt conflicted, should he tell someone how he felt? God, who would understand? Gus? He'd probably freak out... Just like I am. One part of his brain decided to be somewhat more direct and asked Shawn, say what you are thinking Shawn... What is the concern you are trying to avoid thinking about? Damnit brain! Shut up! But the voice, which sounded an awful lot like his father nagged at him until he said out loud, "FINE!!!! What if..." His voice faltered and he paused a minute, trying to voice the question that was scaring him the most. "What if he doesn't love me? He's voiced his hatred of me forever and this would just give him cause to ridicule me forever. But worst of all, I am fairly certain he... doesn't swing that way." There it was. Shawn was frightened and dejected, knowing his mind and body would yearn for the detective who would remain close but forever be just a friend.
Shawn had spent the better part of three weeks avoiding the police station, knowing that he would run into Lassiter if he went in. The case Shawn had been helping with had been solved and Gus had gone in to collect their check for Shawn's vision. But when Shawn had begun to turn down cases from the police department when the chief requested that they come in to the station, Gus knew that something was wrong. He began to observe Shawn's behavior. Shawn was quiet, too quiet, and he had begun to care even less about his appearance than usual. His hair, which was something which Shawn took very seriously, at least it seemed that way to Gus, was disheveled. He had dark circles under his eyes, which were also red and bloodshot. Shawn, who normally wore either a clean-shaven or five o'clock shadow, was sporting a nearly full, unkempt beard. Gus noticed that Shawn seemed to care little for anything and was constantly either sleeping or playing video games. Gus noticed that during his dreams, Shawn seemed to relax and his face was almost always smiling. But as soon as he woke, he seemed to look more defeated and depressed than before. Finally gus couldn't take it anymore and he said, "Shawn! What is the problem man? I've never seen you like this! It's scaring me." Shawn looked haunted and more than a little nervous. Gus studied his face closer... what was it he saw... Shame, fear, and a sadness that Gus was sure he couldn't understand. Shawn turned away from Gus' gaze saying, "It's nothing buddy... I'm just... having a bad week. I'll be okay." Gus didn't believe Shawn. As long as Shawn kept pushing his best friend away gus could only watch and worry about Shawn. He considered calling Henry Spencer to let him know about Shawn's behavior, but he was sure that Shawn's father either knew already or Shawn was keeping it from him for a reason.
Shawn was staring into space when he felt his phone vibrate and then ring. The face on the display was Juliet O'Hara. Shawn pressed ignore and leaned back in his chair. Seconds later he felt the vibration again, a text from Juliet, <Shawn are you okay? It's been a month since you've been in the office. We have four cases that we could use your help with solving.> Shawn read the message and deleted it, ignoring it. A few minutes later, <Shawn, my phone registers that you read my message but did not respond. I think you and I should go get some smoothies at the vendor outside of the psych office at noon... that's 10 minutes from now. Don't make me come find you Shawn.> Shawn sighed and replied, He got up from his chair and groaned as his muscles adjusted to the new position. How long had he stayed in that chair? A week? Two? He had spent the last three weeks at Psych doing nothing. He had slept in the office and had ignored countless calls from his father, who was probably pissed about something stupid that Shawn didn't care about. Let him handle it. Shawn put on some sunglasses and his light windbreaker, trying to appear as normal as usual.
Juliet arrived minutes later and pulled into the Psych parking lot. She gave Shawn a once-over and walked up to him. "Hey Shawn! How are you?" Her voice was gratingly sweet. "I'm fine Jules, how about you?" His throat was dry and his voice was hoarse from not speaking very much. Juliet gave him a concerned look and said, "I've had better days... and it seems, so have you." Shawn winced inwardly, damn she can see right through me. Will she see it? Shawn felt his expression become guarded and he stopped talking. Juliet said, "Lassiter said he would like to join us in fifteen minutes, you game?" Shawn felt like the last part of her sentence meant 'you gay?' Shawn felt his cheeks flush and his temper flare. How dare she invite him! Shawn took a second and then breathed deep, "Uh... I'm not really in the mood for much socialization. You know how much of a chatterbox Lassie can be." Shawn chuckled. Juliet smiled, finally seeing Shawn's mood lighten a little, she wasn't sure, but she had thought that Shawn was mad about Lassiter joining them. Juliet made a quick text message for Lassiter <Shawn's not up for lunch. Sorry.> It was a little bit of a fib but Juliet knew that if Lassiter showed up at the meal, Shawn would become more withdrawn. Juliet had already noted some of the behaviors Gus had mentioned the last time he was in the station, mood fluxes, reserved behavior, inattentiveness, Shawn's general demeanor, and how Shawn was not caring for himself. Juliet gently took Shawn's hand in her own, only to have him pull away. The two walked to the vendor and Juliet bought the two of them each a smoothie, Shawn's pineapple, hers strawberry. When Juliet got closer to Shawn she smelled the faint hint of alcohol. Shawn, she thought, what has happened to you?
After the two had finished their smoothies, Juliet made her way to her car. The conversation between Shawn and her had been one-sided and Juliet had become more and more concerned about Shawn's mental health. She was sure that something was deeply bothering Shawn but he wouldn't tell her or Gus. Juliet tried to steer the conversation to topics that might reveal the issue. Shawn noticed what she was doing and would stop talking when Juliet tried this. As Juliet got into her car she had a thought, I'm sure Gus has told Henry about Shawn. Maybe I should get Carlton to talk to Shawn, I know he's not the most emotionally attuned person, but he might be able to get some insight, as an investigator, as to what is bothering Shawn. Juliet pulled out her phone and texted him, <Shawn's in rough shape Carlton. I think you might want to try and help him... he wasn't responding to anything Gus or I said to him.> <Why would I do any better?> Lassiter's response was abrupt, just like his personality, <I'll see what I can do.> Juliet smiled, hook, line, and sinker.
Lassiter had just finished his latest murder case and was heading home when he received the text from O'Hara. Lassiter pulled over and responded. He felt himself frown at the text, Spencer was depressed? Why would he be sad? He just solved a murder investigation in record time. But, thought Lassiter, that was nearly a month ago and he hasn't been in the station since. Carlton thought back to the last time he saw shawn, the young man had seemed to be his usual self, maybe slightly less annoying. Then Lassiter thought hard, Shawn had been quieter than usual too. Then he scoffed at something. Carlton thought, that doesn't add up to any extreme behavior, I'd better check on him, just in case.
Carlton Lassiter drove by the psych office, noticing that the lights were off. He parked in the parking lot and exited his car. Making his way to the office door, Lassiter saw a flicker of light through the window, coming from inside the office. He thought it was Shawn. After knocking and hearing no response he thought of calling out to Shawn but decided to just try the door. Unlocked, of course. Lassiter felt a chill pass his spine as he opened the door and peered into the unlit office. Darkness masked the entire front desk. Lassiter could see a small amount of light coming from inside of the private office of Burton Guster and Shawn Spencer. As soon as Lassiter's eyes acclimated to the darkness, he saw that the office had seen better days and that Shawn had probably been living in the office for a few weeks, judging from the amount of dirty clothes. Lassiter walked quietly towards the private office, moving small heaps of clothes out of his way. As he rounded the corner to the office his heart stopped. Before him leaning back in his chair with his eyes closed and neck bent back, was Shawn. His skin was pale and lifeless, his usually tousled hair was a mess that seemed duller than Lassiter had remembered it. Shawn's beard was coming in full on his face, no grooming to control it. Lassiter felt panic creep up his throat as he spotted a bottle of pills in Shawn's hands, lid open, a few pills lying on the floor. Lassiter was about to call for O'Hara when he saw that Shawn's face had smiled ever so slightly. Taking a few steps forward, Lassiter took the pill bottle from Shawn's unconscious form and read the label. It was a prescription for sleeping pills dated at the beginning of the month. The bottle said to take one before sleeping with a small amount of food. Lassiter saw the bottle held 45 pills and that the bottle was nearly empty. Either Spencer's been an insomniac for the last month or he's been using these to escape something in everyday life. But what could Shawn want to avoid so badly? His father maybe... Lassiter had gone fishing with him twice and had wanted to shoot the old man after the second time he had critiqued his method of casting his reel.
Lassiter heard Shawn mumble something incoherent in his sleep, shift sideways and slowly slide down the chair, making his way to the floor. Lassiter picked up Shawn and carried him to the couch in the main office of Psych. Something was definitely bothering the psychic and Lassiter wanted to know what. He gently shook Shawn and slowly the younger man roused. "Hey Lassie! How are you?" His voice seemed too cheery, as if he thought he was still dreaming. "Spencer, you haven't been to the station in a month now and cases have stacked up in your absence. I don't know what is bothering you... but if you need to talk to someone, I'm here right now or I can wait here while you call Guster." Shawn grabbed a nearby pen and started to stab his leg with it. "Spencer! What the hell-?" Shawn winced at the pain but said nothing. "Yeah Lassie... I just haven't wanted to do any more work for the station right now. You know?" "No I don't know Spencer... I suggest you talk to Gus or O'Hara soon. You are coming apart at the seams." Shawn sighed and put his head in his hands. Lassiter got up to leave and made his way to the door. After closing the front door to Psych, Lassiter started to walk back to his car until he passed the window to the main office and saw Shawn Spencer with his head still in his hands shaking from sobs that were muffled from the thick glass. Lassiter pulled out his cell phone and dialed O'Hara.
"Yes Carlton?" Her voice was concerned, she knew something was up. Lassiter gave O'Hara a brief recounting of what had happened at the office and how Shawn had reacted. O'Hara felt pale and she said, "Don't leave him alone Carlton! I'll be right over!" She hung up the phone and raced out to her car. Meanwhile, Lassiter moved back to the door to Psych and opened it slowly, "Spencer? I'm coming in to... use your phone. Mine's dead." His lie seemed to pass for believeable to Shawn, he heard Shawn move from the couch quickly and make his way to the private office's bathroom. Lassiter called the station to confirm his shift for the next morning. Shawn came out of the bathroom a minute later wearing sunglasses and walking over to his desk. Lassiter sat down after making the call and said, "I'll head out in a minute, Spencer." Two minutes later Lassiter saw O'Hara's car pull into the lot and Lassiter stood, hoping that Shawn hadn't seen his eyes flick to the window. Shawn hadn't noticed, his eyes, even though Lassiter couldn't see them, were pointedly staring at a pen on his desk that he had stolen from Lassiter's desk at the station. As Lassiter stood, Shawn wanted to call out to the detective, his presence had been tortuous but a welcomed relief from the lonelyness of the empty office. But words would not leave his brain, wait Lassie! Wait! Don't leave me please!
Shawn felt despair sink in as the door clicked shut as Lassiter had left. Seconds later, Juliet O'Hara stood in front of Shawn. Her eyes were filled with concern and something else. Shawn couldn't place the emotion on her face... it was unfamiliar to him. Pity? No... Shawn looked down again at the pen, which he was now playing with. "What do you need Jules?" His voice was soft and in his mind he thought, she'll never understand what's wrong. I'll be stuck in this office with the lights off forever. No one will rescue me from this hell. I deserve this though, I don't deserve to be happy. "Shawn. Have you been having trouble sleeping?" Her voice was light. "Yeah, Jules." He felt his chest constrict as he tried to voice what was tearing him up inside. Finally he lied, "I think I have a touch of the flu. I can't seem to hold anything down and as a result, I can't even sleep without being woken by my... stomach... aching..." He mimed grabbing his stomach. It was definitely an aching he was feeling... "Oh. Okay then..." She looked as if she was about to leave. No Jules... I'm not okay! see through my lies please! I can't be alone in here anymore! I don't know what I'll do. Again, Shawn's chest constricted and his body refused to let him call for help. Jules made it to the doorway to the office before turning back. "Shawn. I know you're lying. I was trying to let you come clean before I talked to you about the 'real' issue." Her voice was even and non-menacing. Shawn's stomach dropped. She can't know... Shawn felt queasy and paralyzed by fear. Don't let her know! Shawn thought desperately. "Shawn... I think I know what this is about, but I need you to take off the sunglasses." NO!!! Thought Shawn. It's the only thing protecting me from you piercing my thoughts! Juliet walked over and took the sunglasses off of Shawn's face. He felt exposed, completely helpless. Juliet looked into his eyes and said, "Do you want me to make the guesses or do you want to fill me in?" No response. "Will you at least be honest with me if I'm right?" Nods. "Okay Shawn. I think that there is someone new in your life who is making you miserable." Shawn did not respond. "Not specific enough?" Nods. "Okay. You are upset because there is someone who you think will never notice you." Shawn gulped... and nodded. "You are afraid because you have never felt this way before." Shawn trembled. "You are absolutely petrified because this is new to you isn't it?" Shawn felt his eyes start to sting and well. He nodded and looked away, trying to regain some composure. She doesn't know who... she'd never- Shawn's thoughts were cut off, "I am certain I know who it is." Shawn's eyes got wide and he looked at Juliet, his heart beating hard and fast, he was ready to pass out from the fright. "Shawn... I can see you are scared. I won't say their name since it might be too much for you to handle. But know that someone knows... and that I care for you, no matter who you love." Shawn felt a single tear slide down his cheek.
He finally understood the emotion on her face from earlier... understanding and acceptance. Two emotions he had never felt from anyone else except Gus. GUS! I should talk to him. Shawn's body trembled uncontrollably and Juliet moved in close. Shawn looked down at the pen which he held with a vice-like grip while Jules had been talking. She put her hand on Shawn's shoulder as Shawn felt himself completely lose all composure. He put his head down on the desk and cried... cried because Lassiter could never love him... he never deserved it... nothing he ever did was worthwhile and no self respecting detective would be caught dead with a 'psychic,' much less Lassiter. Lassiter would never love Shawn as Shawn loved him. It wasn't fair! Shawn had lived his whole life without such an unsurmountable task looming... something that would affect his happiness and his soul. Nobody understood how much Shawn suffered... every day he would work with the object of his affections. He was always a few feet away, but would never reciprocate the feelings that burned through Shawn's very core. Finally he threw the pen... trying to symbolically remove the part of him that loved the head detective. As Juliet left to get the pen Shawn said, "You don't understand Jules... they're so close! And I can't... I can never... Do you have any idea what that's like? Not to mention what everyone else would say." Shawn was only barely able to stop himself from saying the name aloud. "I can't bear this anymore! I can't live like this! I am so miserable, Jules. I feel like my heart has stopped working when I see them... then I remind myself that it can't ever happen." Juliet looked Shawn in the eyes and said, "Don't give up hope yet Shawn. They may come around. Never think that you don't deserve happiness. Don't let what society has pressured make you think that anything is just black and white. And lastly, Shawn..." Her voice was gentle and quiet. She put the pen back into Shawn's hand, making him look down at the pen and then back up at her. "... If you value the person as much as you value a certain item of theirs... They definitely deserve to have someone so loyal and loving." She winked at him and left him open-mouthed staring after her as she walked out of the office.
A/N - Consider yourselves lucky! I was able to borrow (steal) a friends computer and write out this fairly long chapter... still no sex... sorry. (I felt that it would taint their computer... then there would be longer waits between chapters with no guarantee of sex :( ) Anyway I plan on having the story pick up more during the next Chapter. Expect a celebrity Singer (guy - pop music) to appear in the next chapter. Maybe he's going to hit on Shawn... or Lassiter... you never know!
(A/N) - I think I will be setting a comment number before I will post the next chapter. I'd like five comments from different people, good/bad/ugly, I don't care. I just want to make sure that there are people out there who want this story to continue... It takes me a couple hours to fine tune these chapters. If I only have a few people reading I may move back to my other stories which seemed to be very popular.
As I stated previously:
I just wanted to let you know that I have two other stories on nifty. "Merlin" and "Chuck" so if you enjoy this story feel free to read the other two (also in celeb. section). I appreciate and greatly enjoy comments (the good, the bad, and the ugly) so please, even if you hated this story or want to say hey, shoot me an email. I am completely chill and confidential. Your comments let me know that there are people reading the story and inspire me to write more. Even if you just want to correct something, I don't mind at all. By the way my stories usually don't start with sex... I gotta keep the story flowing. But expect some more sex in future chapters. Oh and if you haven't watched Psych... I'd suggest it. Or just look up James Roday. drools