Chapter five of Question of Faith.
I don't mainly focus on Kevin and Nick in this chapter.
I want to thank all the people that mailed me with feedback. And I want to thank Nifty for hosting the story. Toby, mate, thanks again. I feel helpless with you sometimes.
DISCLAIMER: this is fiction. As far as I know no member of BSB, Nsync or 5ive are gay. I have no relationship or connection with the bands, their family, their management or friends.
Feedback can be send to nathanielstories@hotmail.com
Question of Faith part 5
Justin mentally paced the room. He wished he could get up and started pacing but he couldn't. Someone in the group suggested some quality time together. And here he was stuck in the room with 15 other people. He bet it was Kevin. Justin didn't like Kevin very much. He tried his very best when he had to replace Nick two months ago and Kevin yelled at him every time he messed up. Justin never really wanted to do but Lexie talked him into it. He looked at Kevin. He was playing the piano. Nick sat by his feet as a young puppy would by his master. Justin snorted. Sweet little Nicky. Everyone fussed over him. Poor Nick is so sad cause he is sick. Justin looked at the other people in the room. JC and Lexie were sharing a chair and read the same book. Justin smiled. He loved them both. Joey and J were playing cards with Scott and Chris watching. Howie and AJ were spread out on a couch taking a nap. Kevin must be playing some pretty boring music. Justin was glad he had his headphones on. Abs was on the phone and Sean was flipping through the TV channels. And than there was Richie. Justin sighed. He had tried everything. He sent him some wine. Complemented him on his sense of fashion, the show. Anything. Justin tried anything. Richie sat next to Nick. They were engaged in a game of Nintendo. Richie occasionally touched Nick's arm and Justin turned green with envy. He should be touching him not sick little pathetic Nick. Suddenly it dawned on him. Justin wanted to jump up and dance around. He just had the best idea. Nick was sick and everyone fussed over him because of that. Now if someone close to Justin would get sick and he would be devastated Richie would care for him. The thought of getting sick himself crossed his mind but that would be a bit too much. Justin looked around the room. Who could get sick so that Richie would pay attention to him? He looked at JC. Justin shook his head. He could never hurt him. His eyes wandered over all his band mates but Justin knew he couldn't hurt them. His eyes wandered back to JC and Lexie. That was it. Lexie is diabetic. If he would hide one of her insulin bottles she might feel a bit sick and than he could turn to Richie for comfort. Justin rose to his feet and walked to the door. No one seemed to notice he was leaving. Justin wanted to scream but knew it wouldn't help. He ran up to JC's room and grabbed the little black bag Lexie kept her insulin in. He hid in his suitcase and walked back again. A little smile on his face as he hoped his plan would work.
Nick couldn't remember if he was awake when he heard the scream or that he was still sleeping. He rubbed his eyes and turned his head. Kevin was still sleeping beside. Nick heard the scream again. He looked at the alarm clock and realised it was already morning. He kicked off the covers and grabbed his boxers. He stumbled into the corridor and looked around. JC's door was open and he could hear a faint whimper. 'JC? Are you all right, man?' Nick didn't want to barge in on them having sex or something. 'JC?' Nick paled when he heard JC.
'God Lexie, don't die on me. Please, stay awake.'
Nick pushed the door open. The room was a mess. Clothes were every where and every door and drawers in the room were open.
'JC?'
The older man looked up and turned his head.
'Nick!' JC jumped up and pulled him to the bed. 'Keep her awake.'
Nick looked at Lexie. She was lying on her back; sweat poured of her face and her eyes slowly closed. 'Lexie?' Nick looked at JC. 'What is wrong?'
'She couldn't find her insulin last night so she skipped it but she needs it now or she will go into a diabetic coma and die.'
Nick swallowed hard. 'Have you called the ambulance?'
JC nodded while he frantically searched through the room. 'I can't find it. I checked everywhere.'
JC sat down next to Lexie. He wiped her forehead with a towel. 'The doctors will be here soon, love. Stay with me okay.'
Nick rose to his feet. 'Let me get dressed and I'll go with you.'
JC nodded absentminded. His eyes never left Lexie.
By the time Nick got back the paramedics just strapped Lexie on a gurney. JC looked like he was about to faint and Nick walked over. 'I told Kevin where we were in case they missed us.'
JC faintly nodded.
'Come mate. We need to go to the hospital.'
Together they walked behind the gurney to the lift. Justin stood in his doorway rubbing his eyes. 'What is all the racket about?'
JC didn't look at the young boy.
'Lexie is going into a diabetic coma.' Said Nick.
Justin frowned. 'Huh? Why?'
'She couldn't find her insulin.' Whispered JC.
Nick took his arm and they walked off. They had to wait a few hours in the hospital. Suddenly Kevin showed up in the waiting room.
'Kevin?'
He walked to Nick. 'I couldn't reach your cell phone. How is she?'
'JC is with her now.' Nick looked at Kevin. He raised his hand and touched his face. 'I did a blood test this morning.' The words lingered in the empty room.
Kevin shuffled his feet. 'When will you know?'
'I just want the results if you take one too.'
Kevin had been pushing it forward each day. He was too afraid of the answer. Nick raised his chin and stared in Kevin's eyes. 'It won't hurt. It will set your mind at ease and will give me a night's rest. You keep tossing and turning all the time.' Kevin smiled and pulled Nick close for a kiss. The moment their lips touched someone cleared his throat.
Nick looked over Kevin's shoulder and saw a doctor.
'Are you with Mr. Chasez?'
Nick nodded and Kevin turned around.
'I think it is best if you take him home.'
'Is everything okay with Lexie?' Nick asked very worried.
'Um, she will live. Unfortunately she lost her baby.'
'Baby?' Echoed Nick. The doctor nodded.
'Mr Chasez is waiting down the hall.' The doctor left the room.
Kevin turned slowly to face Nick. 'Did you know she was pregnant?'
Nick shook his head. 'I wonder if JC knew. He never mentioned it this morning.'
Nick and Kevin made their way down the hall. JC was standing in front of a glass window.
'Hey JC.'
He didn't look up. 'My baby.' He mumbled. 'I was to be a daddy.' A lonely tear fell down his cheek.
Kevin placed his hand on his shoulder. 'Come on. The doctor wants you to go back to the hotel.'
JC nodded. 'My poor baby.' He mumbled again.
Kevin took him by his arm and guided him to the exit.
Joey, Justin, Chris and Lance were waiting for them in the lounge. Kevin didn't stop but almost dragged JC to the lifts.
'Where is Kevin taking JC?' The four men looked at Nick.
'JC is..' Nick took a deep breath. 'Lexie had a miscarriage.'
Four pair of eyes grew big.
'Lexie was pregnant?' Whispered Lance.
Nick nodded.
Justin looked at Nick with confusion in his eyes. 'Is Lexie okay?' He asked in a small voice.
'Lexie will live that is all the doctor told us. JC hasn't said much part from poor baby.'
Justin looked at the ground. 'Do you think JC will be okay?'
Nick shrugged. 'I am not a doctor. All I know is that I am tired and that I am going to bed.' Nick left the four men alone with their thoughts and went to his room. Kevin wasn't there. Nick walked to JC's room and saw Kevin sitting on the couch.
'Hey.' He said softly.
Kevin looked up. Nick entered the room and looked at the bed. JC was lying on it with his back towards to the room. Nick walked to Kevin and wanted to sit down next to him but Kevin pulled him on his lap.
'You must be tired.' Whispered Kevin.
Nick nodded. 'I don't feel so good either.'
Nick rested his head on Kevin's shoulder and was asleep within seconds. Kevin gently rubbed his back.
'Can you ever love someone too much?' JC suddenly asked as he turned around.
Kevin shrugged. 'I don't know.'
'Do you love Nick too much?'
Kevin stared at JC. 'I don't love him too much but so much it hurts.'
JC turned around again. 'I love Lexie too much. I took her on this tour and now ..' JC started sobbing. 'Could you please leave?' Kevin nodded and carried Nick back to his bedroom. He didn't see Justin sneak into JC's room.
Justin stepped inside JC's room. JC was still lying on the bed with his back towards the room.
'JC?'
'Go away Justin.'
'I just wanted to talk to you.'
'I don't need a pep talk. I want to be alone.'
Justin sat on the bed. 'You don't need to talk. I'll do the talking.' He took a deep breath. 'I think I know where the insulin is.'
JC slowly turned around and looked at Justin. Justin gasped as he saw his best friend. His eyes were red and his cheeks were wet from tears.
'What did you just say?'
Justin didn't notice the hostile tone in JC's voice. 'I said I know where her insulin is.' Said Justin in a small voice.
JC grabbed Justin's arms. 'Where is it?'
Justin looked at JC with fear in his eyes. 'It is in my suitcase.' The young boy stuttered.
JC let go of Justin and stared at him in disbelief. 'You have it in your suitcase?' Repeated JC thinking his ears were failing.
Justin nodded. JC walked to the door and opened it. 'Out.' He said with clenched teeth.
'JC, please let me explain.'
'There is nothing to explain.' Yelled JC.
Justin walked to JC. 'I didn't mean for her to be sick.' JC grabbed Justin and threw him at the wall. Justin moaned and sank to his knees.
'You didn't mean? You didn't mean?' JC screamed. Justin started trembling. 'You killed my child and you didn't mean to do it.'
Justin looked up; tears streaming down his face. 'I just wanted people to pay some attention to me.' He cried.
JC stepped forward and wrapped his hands around Justin's throat. 'You killed our child.' Screamed JC.
Several doors opened and people entered the corridor.
'No.' Screamed Chris and ran to JC. 'Let him go JC.'
Sean grabbed another arm and together they pulled JC away from Justin. The young man fell to ground gasping for air. Joey helped Justin to his feet.
'All I wanted was for someone to love me.' Cried Justin.
JC spat in his face. 'Lexie and I have been trying to get pregnant for the last two years. You may have ruined the only change we had for a family.' JC took a deep breath. 'You killed that baby because you wanted to get laid?' Justin buried his head in Joey's shoulder.
'I just want to be loved.' Sobbed Justin.
'You killed my child.' JC pulled him self free and walked to Justin. Justin started trembling. 'And you just killed the band. I am out. I am going to my girlfriend and we are going back to Orlando. I need to get away from a murderer.' JC walked away. Slowly everyone walked back to their rooms. Joey let go of Justin.
'Put some ice on those bruises.' He mumbled and walked away.
Justin was alone in the corridor. He sank to his knees and started crying. His plan had backfired. He had killed someone. A nearly animalistic scream escaped from Justin's lips. Suddenly two arms wrapped themselves around the shivering boy.
'Come on. Let's get you to your room.'
The next few days went by in a daze. The tour went on and Chris managed to convince JC to stay until the tour was over. As soon as Lexie was released from the hospital they would rejoin. Justin changed from a bubbly and wild young man to a skittish and depressed man. The bruises on his throat slowly dissapeared but the bruises mentally were still there. No one talked to Justin unless they had to. No one except Richie. Justin got what he wanted. Richie paid attention to him. He helped him through the tour. Richie was there with a pep talk and with a shoulder to cry on. He was there when Justin started hyperventilate because he had to wear a turtleneck for a photo shoot. Richie was there at night when Justin had nightmares. This worried all his band members and was the reason why they had gathered in Joey's room.
'Maybe we are too hard on him?' Chris softly said. 'He is just a kid.' J
oey and Lance nodded.
'I told JC he was just a kid but all he sees is the murderer of his child.'
Joey nodded and Lance chewed on his lip.
'He has nightmares.' Stated Joey.
Chris nodded. 'I can hear him scream but I feel like I am betraying JC if I go over there to comfort him.'
Joey sighed. 'We don't have to choose sides. We can be friends with both of them.' Chris and Joey looked at Lance. 'You are very quiet.'
Lance looked up. 'I went to Justin one night but he doesn't need us. Richie was there. Justin got someone to love him now.'
'Maybe we should talk to Justin. Tell him we care too.'
'And turn your back on me as soon as JC is back.' Said a hoarse voice behind the three men.
They swirled around. Justin stood in the doorway.
'Justin we didn't hear you.' Gasped Lance.
Justin walked into the room. 'I bet you didn't. You were too busy talking about me.'
Chris stumbled to his feet. 'Justin, please, can we talk to you?'
Justin shook his head. 'Expect my resignation after this tour.' And he walked out of the room again.
Nick looked at Kevin. 'So you had the test as well.'
Kevin looked up from the envelope in his hands. He nodded.
'Would you like to open mine?' Nick asked in a small voice.
Kevin opened his arms and Nick flew in them.
'What if we have HIV? What will happen to us?'
Kevin sighed. 'We'll grew old together. Or not.' He said.
Kevin took the plain white envelope out of Nick's hands and opened it. He read the results and placed the letter on the couch. He opened his envelope and read his results. Nick looked at him trying to read his facial expressions.
'Well, Kevin, come on tell me.'
Kevin turned his head. Nick moved with him.
'Kevin you are crying. Why are you crying?'
Part six won't be out for a while as I will be very busy in September. I hope you can wait for that.