Question of Faith

Chapter number six of Question of Faith. Sorry it took me so long to send this one out. Chapter 7 will be send out sooner.

Thank you all for the wonderful feedback I've been getting. All the people at Nifty thank you for hosting the story. Toby, thank you for the moral support and the little encouragement you give me when I need it.

DISCLAIMER: as far as I know no member of the Backstreet Boys, Five or Nsync are gay. I have no connection or relationship with the bands, their family and friends, their management or their record companies.

If you want to send feedback you can send it to: nathanielstories@hotmail.com

Nick tried to push back the fear and despair he felt rise inside of him. He slid of Kevin's lap and sank on the floor. 'Noooooooo!' He screamed. Nick shook his head. 'Who is it, Kevin? You? Me? The both of us?' Nick didn't look up. He was afraid of the answer. 'Tell me Kevin. If I am dying I want to know.'

'You are not dying.' Whispered Kevin.

Nick let out a single sob. If he wasn't dying than there could be only one reason why Kevin was crying. Nick raised his head and stared at Kevin. Kevin wiped away Nick's tears. 'No need to cry.'

Nick covered the older man's hand with his. 'I don't want to loose you.'

Kevin rose to his feet and lifted Nick of the ground. Nick buried his head deep in the crook of Kevin's neck. Kevin sat down on the bed.

'Listen to me Nick. We are both negative.' Nick mumbled something inaudible.

'But you need to go back to the hospital.'

'No more tests.'

Kevin could feel the young man stiffen in his arms. 'I want you to become healthy again.'

Nick looked up and with anger in his eyes he said: 'I don't want another tube stuffed down my throat or where ever they want to stick them. I just want to be with you.'

Kevin understood his anger. 'I'll be with you all the way. Hell they can even do every test on me.'

Nick titled his head. 'You would do that for me?' Kevin nodded.

'What else would you do for me?' Asked Nick with a sly smile.

Kevin remained serious. 'I would do this.' Kevin dipped his head and kissed Nick's neck. He softly sucked on the sensitive skin.

'And what else?' Panted Nick.

'I could do this.' Murmured Kevin.

Kevin slid his hand inside Nick's jeans cupping his rapidly growing erection. Nick moaned in Kevin's ear. Kevin licked, sucked and kissed every inch of Nick's neck. Meanwhile he unbuttoned Nick's shirt and caressed the skinny chest. He took a nipple between finger and thumb and rolled it until the little bud was rock hard. He covered the nipple with his mouth and moved to the other one. Kevin removed his hand from Nick's jeans causing him to whimper. Kevin released both nipples and nearly tore of his own shirt. He moved his hands to Nick's jeans and within seconds they were both naked. Kevin crawled to the end of the bed and kissed Nick's foot. He licked the blonde's long legs all the way up to the inner thigh. He deliberately ignored the trembling erection. Kevin did the same with the other leg. He reached out his hands and grabbed the headboard. He pulled himself up over Nick's body. Nick tossed his head from side to side feeling Kevin's hard body rub over his. Kevin thrusted his hips against Nick's. 'I want you inside me Kevin.'

Kevin crushed his lips on Nick's warm mouth. Their tongues were playing a catch me if you can game. Kevin moved his hand down and gathered Nick's precum. He lubricated his own painful erection and lifted Nick's legs over his shoulders. Nick sighed as he felt Kevin gently push against his hole. Kevin didn't want to rush because it had been a year since Nick and he made love. Nick softly moaned and that sound sent Kevin over the edge. With one deep thrust he entered Nick. Nick grabbed the sheets and tried to muffle his cry of pain. Kevin wanted to slip out but Nick cupped his face.

'I am okay now.'

Kevin kissed away the tears of pain that slipped down Nick's face. Kevin started to move, slowly speeding up his pace. Nick reached between their sweaty bodies and moved his hand around his own erection in the same rhythm as Kevin. With his other hand he slid down Kevin's back and entered him with one finger. A moan came from deep within Kevin. Nick closed his eyes and let the first wave of his orgasm wash over him. Kevin enclosed his hand over Nick's. He saw the waves of pleasure wash over Nick's face and knew Nick was close. Nick slipped one more finger inside of Kevin. Kevin responded with a deep thrust. The third finger was more than Kevin could handle and he shot his cum deep in Nick. As if Nick had waited for that moment he came too. Kevin supported his weight on his elbows and dipped his head

He kissed Nick tenderly on the lips. 'I am sorry.'

Nick shook his head. 'I love you. Don't be sorry.'

Kevin wanted to roll of Nick.

'No, please. Don't move.' Nick slid his legs down Kevin body making sure he stayed inside. 'I like this feeling.'

Kevin rested his head on Nick's shoulder. Nick wrapped his arms round Kevin. He couldn't stifle a yawn.

'I've missed this.' Mumbled Nick.

Kevin nuzzled his neck. 'I missed this too.'

Kevin raised his head and saw that Nick was almost sleeping. He waited until Nick was asleep and slipped out of his body. Kevin rolled on his side and pulled Nick close. Kevin kissed his cheek and closed his eyes. They would deal with their problems again in the morning.

Justin was nervous. He had every right to be nervous. JC and Lexie were rejoining the tour again. He had managed to ignore the rest of the band for the last week. Each time Justin thought back to that day he could feel JC's cold hands around his throat again. The bruises had faded but Justin's voice was still hoarse. Justin would never forget the anger and the pain he saw in his best friend's eyes. A little girl who asked him time and time again why he killed her haunted his dreams at night. Justin shivered. Immediately a pair of warm arms slipped around his waist. Justin looked up in Richie's eyes. Richie had been his only friend the last few days. The only one that cared for him. Without thinking Justin leaned forward and kissed Richie on the lips. Richie took a step back and Justin regretted his move.

'Justin, what are you doing?'

'I'm sorry Richie. I thought. You. We.' Justin stared at his feet.

'I thought we were friends Jus. Friend with no strings attached.'

'I didn't mean to kiss you. I thought you liked me.'

Richie ran his fingers through his hair. 'I am involved with someone back in England. I could never. I mean.'

Justin walked to the door. 'I understand. I am sorry.'

Justin quickly opened the door and slipped outside. He turned around and bumped into someone.

'Ouch.' Mumbled Justin as he landed on his butt.

He looked up and his eyes grew big.

'Oh god.' Justin crawled backwards.

He couldn't breath, his throat was closing. Justin pulled at the collar of his T-shirt. He tried to inhale air but he couldn't.

'Oh god.' He managed to say.

Justin struggled to his feet.

'Justin are you okay?' A soft voice asked him.

Justin tried to breath again but still he couldn't fill his lungs with much needed air. 'Go away, please.' He whispered.

'Justin, what is wrong?'

Justin turned around and started to run. He ran around a corner and collapsed.

JC watched his former best friend run down the corridor. The struggle for breath had scared him. Justin had looked at him as if he was ghost. Lexie touched his arm.

'Why is Justin so scared?'

JC looked at his girlfriend. Unlike him she had come to terms with what happened. 'I tried to strangle Justin the last time he saw me.'

Lexie stared at JC with disbelief in her eyes. 'You did what?'

JC stared at the pattern on the carpet. 'I'm not proud of what I did but he tried to kill you.'

Lexie sighed. 'Justin cried out for attention. He never wanted me to get hurt. He didn't know I already skipped one injection that day.'

'He killed my child.' Whispered JC.

'JC! That boy is scared to death. God knows what goes on inside his mind.'

JC raised his head. 'I can't forgive him. Not yet.'

He opened the door and walked inside his room. Lexie wanted to run after Justin to see if he was all right. But seeing her would most likely make matter worse. She sighed. If only she had seen Justin's attempts for attention. If only she had known he left lonely and left out. If only they had told them she was pregnant.

'If only I could make things right.' Lexie whispered.

'Okay Nick, are you ready so that we can get started?'

Nick nodded. He would never be ready for this.

'You need to drink this. It smells horrible and it tastes even worse. After you did that we take x-rays and after that we see what else we need to do.'

Nick looked at the huge bottle of clear liquid in front of him.

Kevin squeezed his hand. 'The sooner you drink it the sooner it is over.'

Nick took a deep breath and started drinking. The doctor was right. The stuff smelled awful and Nick struggled not to gag. After he had finished he leaned back on the bed. Nick closed his eyes and swallowed. He swallowed again. He couldn't keep the stuff down. Nick started to heave.

'No Nick.' Kevin pushed him back on the bed. 'Try to keep it down or they have to insert a tube.'

The mere thought of a tube down his throat calmed Nick down.

The doctor returned to the room. 'That was quick. If you could leave the room now.'

Nick clasped his hand firmly around Kevin's. 'He is not going anywhere.'

The doctor nodded and handed Kevin some protection for the x-rays. The doctor stepped behind a screen and a buzzing sound was heard. 'Okay. Now try not to throw up already. If the x-rays show what we may fear than we need to do more tests.'

Nick pushed himself up on his elbows. 'What are we fearing?'

'Abdominal cancer.'

The words lingered in the room. Nick fell back on the bed and closed his eyes. Kevin stood up and left the room. His worst fear just came true.

'Doctor?'

The doctor sat down next to Nick.

'From now on I want you to tell me exactly what you are doing and what is going on. And I don't want Kevin to know.'

The doctor nodded. 'Let me have a look at the x-rays and than we know.'

Nick watched the doctor flip on a light and he stared at a x-ray of his own inside. Nick climbed off the bed.

'What is that?'

The doctor explained that because of the fluid he could see if there were any irregularities. The doctor switched off the light.

'What we need to know is to insert a camera to see if your stomach is affected by the constant throwing up.'

Nick turned pale. 'Insert a camera where?'

'Up your nose.'

Nick barely managed to reach the sink before he heaved again. Nick sank to the floor.

'Can't you do it another way?'

The doctor helped him back on his feet. 'We can do it down your throat but that is very uncomfortable.'

Nick sat back on the bed. 'There is no tube going up my nose.'

'Okay, I'll call a nurse in and we do it the way you want it.'

The doctor walked to the door.

'While you are there can you see if Kevin is around?'

The doctor nodded and left Nick alone in the examination room.

Nick tried to fight the tube.

'Nick just swallow.'

Nick shook his head. He started to gag.

'Breath through your nose and swallow when I say you have to swallow. I know it hurts.'

Nick closed his eyes and concentrated on breathing through his nose.

'Now swallow.'

Nick swallowed hard and he felt the tube slide down. Instantly he started to gag again and he opened his eyes.

'Sh, it is okay. You did a great job.'

Nick saw Kevin standing at the sink in the corner of his eye. He couldn't call out to Kevin. Kevin slowly turned around and saw Nick looked at him. He walked back to the bed and took Nick's sweaty hand in his. Kevin felt guilty for taking off after the doctor said he feared cancer.

'Your stomach is a bit irritated but I'll can give you some medication that should stop you throwing up.'

Nick blinked once with his eyes.

'Okay, now we are going to pull back the tube.'

Nick closed his eyes. The doctor pulled out the tube and immediately rolled Nick on his side. Nick started couching and heaving at the same time. Kevin wanted to scream and take over some of his pain. Nick pulled up his legs. Kevin wrapped his arms around him.

'It is all over now.' Kevin whispered words of comfort in his ear.

The doctor came back in the room. 'Well, it is not abdominal. Next up is a bone marrow puncture.'

Nick softly whimpered.

'Can we go home for the day?'

The doctor shook his head. 'If you want to know what is wrong?'

'You can go back to the hotel, Kevin. Tell them I won't be performing tonight.'

Kevin shook his head.

Please for me?' Nick looked at him with pleading eyes.

Kevin sighed. 'Do you want me to go?'

Nick sighed. 'I don't want you to see me in pain. I don't want to hurt you.'

Kevin stood up. 'Call me when you are done.'

Nick nodded. 'I love you.'

Kevin smiled and walked away. He hesitated in the corridor. Nick's scream as the needle entered his back went straight through Kevin's heart and soul.

They performed one of the strangest concerts that night. Justin was so scared being around JC he messed up nearly every step. As soon as JC come close Justin would take a few steps back. But when he performed with the backstreet boys to cover up for Nick everything went perfect. The guys of Five started the concert off and dedicated a song to Nick. Even tough Nick missed half of the concerts on the tour so far the fans seemed to be more dedicated. Richie kept looking at Justin, who was standing at the side of the stage watching them perform. Richie couldn't deny the sexual attraction he felt when he was near Justin but he already had someone waiting for him to come home in two months time. Richie saw the fear in Justin's eyes every time JC would pass him on stage during a song. And he saw the dedication when he danced with the backstreet boys. Richie sighed.

'Love is weird but wonderful.'

Richie swirled around. Scott stood behind him.

'Come on man, you can't tell me you don't fancy the kid. You have been drooling over his for the last three hours.'

Richie shrugged. 'I have Shane.'

Scott snorted. 'Reality check here. Who cheated on you for the last two years? Who wasn't at the airport when you went away for at least four months?'

Richie looked at Scott. 'But I'll go back to England and he will be here.'

'Love conquers all.'

Richie hated it when Scott was right. Scott could read him like a book.

'But I pushed him away.'

Scott hugged Richie. 'I am your best friend and you are going to listen to me now. As soon as we get back to the hotel you are going to Justin's room and you tell him exactly how you feel. If he doesn't want you than it was not meant to be but if he does don't make too much noise as my room is next to Justin's.'

Richie started laughing. Scott's next words were drowned as the backstreetboys came running off stage.

AJ dived on top of Scott and Richie. 'No smoochies here. Wanna go clubbing?'

'Who else is going?'

AJ released Scott and Richie.

'We are all going.'

'Count me out.'

AJ looked at Kevin. 'Okay are there any youngsters going?'

Kevin playfully hit AJ and walked to the showers.

Richie looked at Justin. 'Are you going?'

Justin shook his head.

'Um, wanna watch a video with me?'

Justin shrugged.

'Come on. I'll let you pick.'

Justin looked at Richie. 'I can choose any movie I want to see?'

Richie nodded.

Justin smiled. 'Good. Your room or mine?' 'Yours.'

I am not a medical student or anything. So if some of the stuff about the tests Nick had is wrong I am sorry. I based them on the stories a personal friend told me. Thank you for reading,

Nathaniel