Understanding
The sheriff had arrived with the prosecuting attorney, and their visit had been short. They interviewed me and took a statement from me at home. The only subject covered was my discovery of the evidence and my actions following that discovery. I knew more questions would come later. They had departed after a half hour, instructing Dad and me to say nothing about the case to anyone. A brief conversation that included my mom had followed. Then I went to bed. After tossing and turning until midnight, I slept well until six o'clock.
During our initial conversation, I'd spilled my guts to my dad. He knew the identity of my six sex partners, and that Rusty was more significant than the others. He knew about the poker game and the participants, but not the lurid details. He'd made no comments or judgement about what I'd revealed, but I knew that would come soon.
The arrest of the chief deputy sheriff of a rural Idaho county for child abuse made national news. I watched the broadcast with Dad the next morning. In addition to the deputy himself, his minor son was being interviewed as a person of interest. The case had been brought to light by the discovery of incriminating videos, a discovery made by an alert fourteen-year-old who had found the evidence at the home of a family friend.
Eight victims, all still minors, had been identified by the original videos, however more were expected to be identified by videos and pictures found at the home of the accused, and it was expected more would come forward voluntarily. The abuse had taken place over a period of five years or more. Footage of the home of the accused was shown in addition to the ranch bunkhouse in which the videos had been found. Both were surrounded by yellow crime scene tape. The owners of the ranch had no comment at this time.
Mom had gone to work, but Dad was working from home once again. I'd received text messages from Rusty and Austin. My short response was "later". I hadn't heard from Gramps yet, but I expected to. I knew he and I would need to talk.
When the broadcast was over, Dad stood and smiled at me. "You've handled this situation very well, Toby. There are obviously some things we need to talk about. I suggest we do that in my office. And don't feel like you're being called in to see the principal. We just need a place where we can access the computer, have pencils and paper, and possibly make phone calls."
In the office, we sat down in the guest chairs. Dad opened the conversation.
"First, you and I need to know where we stand with each other, so I'm going to tell you some things about myself. You may find them surprising. I didn't expect to discuss this until you were older, but now is the time."
"When I was your age, I'd been sexually active for two years and had a lot more experience than you do right now, with boys. Several of them. It started with oral sex, and quickly progressed. At your age, I probably had been with a dozen boys in one way or another, repeatedly with some."
"I became interested in girls about the time I turned fourteen, and proceeded to have sex with them almost immediately. It's surprising I didn't get one of them pregnant, because I didn't bother to use condoms until I was sixteen. At that time, my parents discovered how sexually active I was, and I got some guidance from them. Guidance, not condemnation or judgement, and it gave me a model for parenting."
"As I grew older, my interest in boys was eclipsed by my interest in girls. By the time your mother and I met, I was into girls exclusively. I'm not going to give an opinion as to whether I'm bisexual or whether my interest in boys was just a phase. What I know is your mother and I love each other and I'm not interested in any other relationship. Your mother knows all this, by the way. It's not a good idea to keep secrets from your significant other. We'll talk more about that later because there are some things you're going to have to keep secret from Rusty for now."
"For several reasons, I didn't have my head together very well when I was an early teenager. Frankly, you're a lot more mature now than I was at your age, and that's one reason why your mother and I give you more latitude for independent decision making than most teenagers. That isn't going to change. What you told me the other night didn't surprise me. You've had a few partners I hadn't expected, but I have no intent to penalize you for finding yourself in a situation outside of your control, which I will say again you handled very well."
"I know this situation is somewhat overwhelming and we will have more discussions over the next several days, but if you're up to it, we should cover a few things now, beginning with anything you're concerned about."
I was surprised at what Dad had told me, but I didn't have any questions, and we had more important things to talk about. I thought for a moment.
"I think we'll be coming up with the same topics for the most part. I would like to start with my relationship with Logan."
"That sounds good to me. What are your thoughts?"
"First, I know now he loves me and did all along. I think he was trapped in abuse and a sick relationship with Cory, and he couldn't break out of it. I thought he was being remote and disinterested. In reality, he just didn't know how to interact, and later he was afraid to."
Dad nodded encouragingly. "I agree with that completely, although it may turn out to be more complicated in the end. But it's a good starting point. What else would you like to share about Logan?"
I hesitated for a few moments. I knew what I wanted to do, but I didn't know if I could. "I told you about the video called 'Insurance'. I just happen to have a copy of that file, which I probably should not, but I do. It's part of the official evidence, and the sheriff asked me not to talk about the evidence I saw. I think you would understand everything better if you saw that video."
Dad actually grinned. "Do you have a dollar in your wallet?"
I was puzzled. "Yes, I do."
"Give it to me." I did as he requested.
"I'm accepting this as a retainer for my professional services to represent you for any and all aspects of the child abuse case against our chief deputy sheriff. You are free to tell me or show me anything about the case that will help me advise you on how to proceed with the legal system. Now, is there something you would like to show me?"
I smiled. "Yes, there is. Just a moment."
In a couple of minutes, I returned with the flash drive. Dad had the computer on. I plugged in the drive and started the video. Dad watched in silence, showing no emotion except to smile slightly when Cory and Logan were discussing the "stuck-up city slicker". When the video ended, he sat in silence while I disconnected the flash drive from the computer.
Dad had some observations. "First, we need to keep that flash drive in the office safe. As to the content, it clearly outlines the roles Logan, Cory, and Cory's dad had in the abuse process. Logan is as much a victim as anyone else, and I'm sure the court will see it that way. Cory is in trouble. Cory's dad is in deep shit."
"It also explains why Logan arranged for you to find the videos. The logical people to go to would be his grandparents, but the video you showed me would have been extremely disturbing to them. Probably the other one too. He was goaded by the breakup with you into making a change that would protect you. But he was also motivated to spare his grandparents pain and to prevent them from doing something rash. The method he worked out wasn't foolproof, but it worked mainly because, as he noted in the video, a certain fourteen-year-old isn't stupid. I also suspect he was paying more attention than I thought at the dinner we had here and therefore knew I was a lawyer."
"Now, I have a few questions for you. Simple yes/no answers will do. First, do you feel you were in any way the victim of abuse?"
I thought briefly about the poker game. "No."
"Do you have any concerns about any of the individuals with whom you're having sex now? That would include Rusty, Austin, Andy, and Jason by my count."
"No, I don't. But I have a couple of things to say about Austin and Andy. I could already see them distancing themselves from Logan and Cory two days ago. I know they were shaken by my blow up with Logan, and I think they'd begun to evaluate their relationships with Logan and Cory. I trust them as much as I do Rusty and Jason. All four of them are becoming like brothers to me."
"Okay, I'll accept that. Now, you've seen the video concerning Nate. We haven't discussed the content of the video, but I suspect it was disturbing. Do you want to seek professional counseling to deal with your feelings about it?"
"No. I think discussing it with you will be all I need, if even that is necessary. Yes, it was disturbing, but not enough to worry about now."
Dad was finished. "Okay, those are the only questions I have. I have one other observation. You will undoubtedly need to talk with Gramps and Grams. Be kind and understanding when you do."
"And one final thing." He reached into the drawer of his desk and pulled out a large box of condoms. "I'm not going to lecture you about these, nor am I going to instruct you to use them. I expect you to use your best judgement like you always do. All I'm going to say is to keep a couple on you. At some time you may find yourself in a situation where you need one, or one of your friends does. If they don't fit or you need more, let me know."
I took the box from him and stood up. "Thanks, Dad. For everything."
Dad stood up and gave me a hug. "You'll get through this without any problem. Your mother and I will be there with you whenever you need us. Now, what do you plan to do for the rest of the day?"
I didn't hesitate. "Go to work."
Dad frowned slightly. "The law and the press have invaded the ranch. I doubt whether any work will be done, at least this morning."
I grinned at him. "That's where you're wrong. There's a task to finish that I started yesterday. It's right across the fence. I'm not gonna be near the law or the press. Ranch work doesn't wait for anything. I suspect by this afternoon I'll have a phone call from Gramps. I bet he's already home, I'll bet Logan isn't with him, and I'll bet he'll want to talk with me, both about work and Logan."
"That works for me. Take your phone. I'll call you if anything comes up, and you do the same. I'll be here all day. Now, get to work, and I will too. That's probably the best thing we can do."
As I walked into the front yard, I remembered I had two text messages to answer. I replied to both the same way: "My place at 7:00?". I quickly got two affirmative responses.
Climbing over the fence, I tossed my shirt over a fence post, set my Hydro Flask beside it, and went to work. Perspiring in the warm sun, I continued clearing the field of pipe. It felt good to be doing something physical after the stress of the morning and previous evening. After a couple hours when I was nearing the end of the project, my phone rang. I didn't recognize the number, but I answered anyway.
"Toby, this is Gramps. Would it be possible for us to get together today? I could meet you at your house if you want."
"How about meeting at the alfalfa field. I'm finishing up with the pipe removal."
There was a slight pause. "I didn't expect you to work today, but thanks. I'll drive out there."
In a few minutes, the pickup came up the dirt road, dust billowing behind it. Gramps stopped next to where I was working.
"Hop in the cab out of the sun, if you like. We can talk in here."
I climbed in, closed the door, and opened the window. We were out of the sun, but the cab of the pickup was warm. Gramps looked like he'd aged ten years in two days.
"First of all, I'd like to thank you for dealing maturely with what you found in the bunkhouse. I'm disappointed Logan didn't let Lucy and me handle that part too. But it is what it is."
"Lucy" threw me for just a moment, and then I realized he was talking about Grams, the only name I knew her by. My first reaction was to protest his disappointment in Logan, but I quickly decided he hadn't yet analyzed the reasons for what Logan had done. I kept my mouth shut. This was his conversation. Dad had said to be kind and understanding. At the time, that meant silence.
"Logan is staying temporarily at my cousin's ranch. After his fallout with you, he started to tell us about the abuse. He refused to name the abuser in spite of our insistence. He just said it was a person in a position of authority, and he couldn't share that right away. We figured it was a teacher. We tried to get him to see a counselor, but he said it wouldn't be possible here. So we arranged to take him where he could get some therapy. Lucy called me last night when all hell broke loose here. I was astounded. Logan and I talked for a while, and he told me more about what had happened. I left him there and came home to deal with this end of it."
"One thing you need to know is Logan really loves you. That was one thing that was apparent when he started to tell us about the abuse. He was afraid you would be next, but again he didn't explain why. Now I understand. And I hope you do too."
It was my turn. "Thanks for verifying what I'd decided. I understand all his behavior now, and I'm really sad it turned out this way. But like ya said, it is what it is, and now we all need to deal with it."
Gramps looked down. "I'm very sorry you got involved with him at all, but it was good in that it caused him to rethink everything and begin to escape the trap he was in. So much is clearer now. He had very few friends, and although he'd always been helpful to us, after the time the abuse started he never wanted to do anything but work with me on the ranch. We didn't understand why, and we encouraged him to turn out for sports and things like that, but he didn't want to."
We sat in silence for a few moments. There were a thousand things I wanted to say, but now wasn't the time to do that. I was reminded of my dad and how he often used silence to draw more out of me. I was doing that now.
Gramps continued. "I know you can't talk about the evidence, so I won't ask. I also won't ask anything personal because even though it may concern Logan, it's not for me to know. What I will say is Lucy and I love you like you were our own son, and we want to maintain that relationship. I hope you'll continue to help me with the ranch, but I have no intention of letting that interfere with the rest of your life. So I've hired a full-time ranch hand. I did that last week when it became clear that Logan would be taking an enforced break. He'll start next Monday. If you could help me get through this week and then continue part-time, I would appreciate it."
There was no doubt. "I'll be glad to do that Gramps. I feel the same way about you and Grams. My grandparents live on the east coast and have rarely been involved in my life. I feel like yer my substitute grandparents."
Gramps had tears in his eyes. "Thanks, Toby. That's important to Lucy and me. We're all just going to have to pick up the pieces and move on."
He paused a moment and changed the subject. "I know there are many things you'll have to do this week, and I know your parents are there for you, but I'll check with you daily to see how you're doing with all of this. If you have spare time, maybe you can help me with a few things. Will that work?"
I smiled at him. "That will work well. I don't wanna have free time on my hands right now. Having physical things to do will be helpful to me, so thanks for including me in yer plans."
Gramps put a hand on my shoulder. "Thanks a lot for being there for us right now. One thing I wondered. Are you going to need a lawyer? I feel responsible, and will help you with that."
I grinned at him. "I've already hired a lawyer. I live with him."
Gramps managed a smile. "That's right, I should have known. Okay, that's one thing we don't need to worry about."
It was time for me to give some support. "I think you can be sure Dad will give you any advice ya need for Logan. Please talk with him. If he can't help ya, he'll know someone who can."
"I'll do that. Now, I need to go see the sheriff and tend to some other issues. I expect to be back mid-afternoon. If you're available then, I can use some help."
"I'll be finished with the pipe by noon. Dad's at home, and he may have some more things to talk about, but I'll expect yer call later in the day."
Gramps shook my hand. "Thanks, Toby. I'll talk with you later."
I watched as Gramps drove away. I felt sorry for all the victims in this case, including Logan, who was far more of a victim than a participant. I felt sorry for Austin and Andy because I knew they were going to get dragged in for innocent participation in what appeared to be a sexy good time. But the two I was really hurting for were Gramps and Grams. They had far more to deal with than any of the rest of us.
Dad was fixing lunch when I got home and included me in the preparations. He didn't have more things to talk about, but I did.
"Dad, I had a long talk with Gramps a little earlier. He needs my help this week until his new full-time ranch hand shows up on Monday. I'll try to do what I can, in between things I gotta do. Are you expecting to work from home all week?"
"Depending on what happens, I would like to get into the office on Wednesday or Thursday. But other than that, I'll work from home. It's convenient to be able to do that."
"Thanks a lot for that, Dad. I haven't had a chance to say so yet, but thanks so much for yer support."
Dad smiled at me. "That's what parents are for. Thanks for making it as easy as you do."
I had a request. "I told Gramps to contact you if he needed advice. I may have been speakin' out of turn there, but I was sure ya would at least be able to point him in the right direction. He and Grams are gonna need all the support they can get."
Dad gave one of those my-boy's-growing-up looks. "I'm glad you're thinking of others, Toby. I'll help as much as I can. The governor knows what's going on here and is monitoring it closely. Child abuse is big on her list of important things to deal with, so she's giving me all the latitude I need to do whatever I can."
I pitched another idea I'd been working on. "Would that include representing Austin and Andy and maybe some of the victims if possible?"
"Absolutely, with one caveat. I have to be careful about conflict of interest. Overall, the victims are most important. I'll help Austin and Andy if I can. If not, I'll refer them to someone who will."
The office phone rang. Dad went to answer it while I looked after the lunch preparations. He returned shortly.
"We have an appointment with the prosecuting attorney's office tomorrow morning at ten o'clock. You'll be talking with one of his assistants. They'll want to go over your statement and ask a few more questions. Once more, this isn't like going to the principal's office. The prosecuting attorney is going to be very considerate of every minor involved, not only the victims but also witnesses and those who have been innocently trapped in the situation."
After lunch Dad went back to his office to work. I wandered around aimlessly for a few minutes before I realized that was just making me uptight. Then I knew what to do. I walked across the road to my favorite swimming hole, took a quick dip, lay down in the grass, and promptly fell asleep.
*** If you enjoy this kind of story, please donate to Nifty to ensure that this free resource can continue. ***