Therapy
Nate was sitting on a log in the woods next to the grassy area, looking out at the lake, elbows on his knees, chin in his hands, tears in his eyes, the picture of dejection. I walked over and sat beside him, remaining silent.
"I don't know what to do. Part of me is gone. I just feel cold inside."
"Is there anything I can do to help?"
"No there's nothin' nobody can do. I'm just a freak now."
I thought for a few moments. "Nate, last night when we got to yer house, ya wanted my phone number in case ya went swimmin' again and needed a buddy. Maybe ya need a buddy for more than swimmin'. I can be that buddy if ya want me to."
I reached out and put my hand on his shoulder. He flinched a little, but he didn't pull away like the night before. I rubbed his back gently like Mom did to me when I was upset.
Suddenly, his arms were around my neck and he was crying his heart out. I pulled him onto my lap and put my arms around him, feeling his body shake with the anger, pain and fear he was holding inside.
"He hurt me. He liked hurtin' me. Every time he hurt me more, and threatened to tell my parents I was a worthless queer if I didn't let him do it. His father only did it to me twice, but Cory wanted it at least a couple times a week. The last time he did it was last Monday. When I heard he was in jail, I cried with relief. Now I hate him so much, and his father, too. It's eatin' me up inside, and I don't know what to do about it."
"Are ya seein' a counselor?"
"Yeah, but she's a stupid bitch who doesn't understand me. I need someone who understands me. I know you do. Can you help me? Please?"
It was a tall order. "I'll do my best, buddy. What can I do to help ya?"
"Just hold me. I haven't let anybody hold me for months, since it started. But I trust you. It was you who got me out of this mess, really, by findin' that evidence, or that bastard would still be fuckin' me."
I held him for a long time as he cried his heart out and began to release his anger and fear. After a while the tears stopped and the shaking subsided. Then he was embarrassed.
"I think I made a fool of myself."
"No, you did not. Look at me. Ya gotta let it go, and that was a start. I'm here for ya, and I'll be here for ya every step of the way. As long as it takes. I'm yer friend, Nate."
He had another thought. "Ya won't tell yer dad about this, will ya?"
"Let me make something clear. My dad doesn't tell me anything about his work, and I don't tell him secrets about my friends. I won't tell anybody anything about what ya say to me. But ya might wanna tell him some things yerself. If you or yer parents tell him that yer counselor isn't workin' out, I bet he can find ya one who will."
"Okay, I'll tell my parents that. And will ya please not tell Rusty?"
Tears came to his eyes. "I don't wanna hurt him."
"I won't tell Rusty, but he loves ya, and if ya want his help, he'll be glad to do it."
"No, I want yer help. I want you. You understand me. I don't know how I know that, but I do."
"You got it, Nate. I'll do what I can to help ya. If I can't do something, I'll help ya get to someone who can. I'll be with ya all the way."
We heard Austin yelling that dinner was ready.
"Let's go down by the lake so you can wash yer face. Then we'll go to dinner with the rest. Yer gonna feel better after ya eat."
He let me hold his hand as we walked back to the cabin. When we got in sight of the others, he let go and retreated into his shell again. It was going to take a long time.
The others were eating when we sat down at the table. Rusty and I exchanged a silent communication. Now I knew how my parents did that.
The hamburgers, with and without cheese, were great. As were the salads. For dessert there was apple pie. Nate and Jason were drinking sodas. The rest of us had another beer.
Austin made a confession. "You've got our mom to thank for everything except the hamburgers. She's a great cook, and the coolest mom in the world. What other mom would send ya off with a feast for yer friends when she knows yer all gonna spend the night fuckin'?"
I could hear it coming, from Rusty. "Maybe one who encourages her son's friend to stay over and screw him every night."
I turned beet red and everyone else laughed their asses off.
Andy grinned at us. "Sounds like you two have got the ideal setup."
After dinner, Andy started a fire in the fire ring in spite of the warm weather. A campout like this wasn't complete without a fire. We sat around talking for a long time, letting the food digest.
I made an observation. "We still haven't come up with a name for our group."
Austin looked me straight in the eyes. "How about the Ranch Boy Club. Maybe we can make it mean what it's supposed to this time."
I glanced at Andy. They'd discussed this, and they were serious. The other three didn't understand the significance of the name yet. In time they would.
"All in favor raise yer right hand." Five hands shot up around me. "It's unanimous. Motion carried."
After dinner, I gently steered Nate down towards the pier while the others started a game of two-on-two volleyball.
"Let's take the boat out, Nate. As old as it is, I hope it doesn't leak."
There was a little water in the boat, and a tin can to bail it out. We climbed into the boat, and I rowed it out into the lake. If there was a leak, it was slow enough we didn't need to worry about it. A small cove on one side of the lake gave us the private place I was looking for.
"Are ya feelin' a little better after dinner?"
"Yeah, you were right. Food was good. I'm sorry I came apart earlier."
"Don't be sorry. You needed that. Is there anything else ya wanna talk about?"
He was silent for a minute, and then the flow began. I just sat there and listened, and occasionally made a comment to keep him going. He told me about how he'd thought he was in love with Logan, and how Logan was sensitive and never pushed him to go all the way. About when he'd finally asked Logan to do that, Cory had shown up and raped him instead - the incident I'd seen on the video. About being screwed weekly by Cory for several months. About the threesome with Cory's dad, and the abuse that followed. He talked for an hour. By that time, we were both getting stiff. I pulled the boat to the shore, and we sat on the sandy beach.
Nate continued to unload, sometimes angry, sometimes sad, sometimes crying. He talked about how he felt more and more isolated from his friends, how he stopped hanging out with Rusty, how he dropped out of sports at school. When he was done, he was exhausted, but his spirit had begun to heal. We lay back on the sand and watched two ravens circling over us, calling to each other. Then we watched the changing colors of the clouds as the sun set behind the trees.
It was dark, and a full moon was rising. "We better go back. The rest of them are gonna wonder where we are."
I rowed back to the dock and tied up the boat. The moon and the fire guided us back to the cabin. At first it seemed we'd been deserted, but as we got closer, we could see they were still there.
Two sleeping bags had been spread out on the grass, unzipped and open. On the first, illuminated by the flickering firelight, Rusty's back and hips moved rhythmically as he slowly and methodically slid his seven and a half inches in and out of Andy. Andy was staring at the sky, his hands grasping the sleeping bag tightly, lost in the pleasure Rusty was giving him. I grinned. I knew the feeling well.
Nearby, Jason's adolescent laughter contrasted with Austin's deeper chuckles as they grappled on the other sleeping bag. Playing cat and mouse, Austin slowly wrestled Jason into submission, prolonging the anticipation and intensifying their arousal. When Jason paused briefly, distracted by a kiss, a quick upward thrust of Austin's hips and his grunt of satisfaction told us Jason had been pinned. As Jason squirmed and squealed with excitement, Austin slowly slid all the way inside. The wrestling game was over, but the fun had just begun.
Nate was spellbound. We stood watching for a couple minutes before I whispered. "Let's get our sleeping bags. I think they're gonna be at this for a while."
We walked over to my four-wheeler. I untied Nate's sleeping bag and handed it to him. As I started to untie mine, he put his hand on mine and stopped me.
"Only one."
I looked into his eyes. "Yer sure?"
"I'm sure."
I quickly snagged the lube from the storage compartment on the ATV, thankful Pete had provided one for both Rusty and me. Nate took my hand and led me away from the fire and into the darkness to the spot in the trees where we'd talked earlier. He spread out the sleeping bag and pulled me down onto it. Pulling me close, he gently kissed me. I responded with equal tenderness.
Rolling onto his back, he looked up at the sky. "I don't know..."
I stroked his chest and stomach gently with the tips of my fingers. "It's all up to you, buddy. We'll do whatever ya wanna do."
"Okay... I want ya on top. Go easy."
I pulled off his speedo and mine, and slid my hand between his legs. His body twitched as I brushed his boner with my hand on the way by. Reaching between his legs, I gently felt for the opening.
Nate's hand grasped my wrist. "No. I can't do it yet."
Rather than pull my hand away, I stroked the inside of his thighs gently. I wasn't going to force it, but he needed the encouragement to continue.
I kissed him gently and whispered. "When yer ready."
Slowly he spread his legs apart, and I moved my hand back up between them.
Nate's body jerked as I penetrated him with my lubed finger, but he didn't stop me this time. Slowly, I worked my way inside with one finger, then two, then three, opening him up. As I prepared him, I ran my fingers lightly over his chest, whispering encouraging words to get him to relax. >From time to time, he would reach out to stop me, and then change his mind and let me continue.
He was ready, and so was I. "Ya still good with this?" He nodded his head.
Carefully moving between his legs, I guided myself to the target. I looked at the doubt in his eyes and stopped, waiting.
"I want it."
"That's not what yer eyes are tellin' me."
"My eyes are lyin'."
Slowly, I slid inside, inch by inch, guided by the changing expressions on his face, expressions ranging from uncertainty to fear to pleasure. As I began to move inside him, I could feel the tension in his body fade away. Then he was kissing me again, more passionately than before, then urging me on with his hands on my ass, stroking my back, wanting more and more...
Staring blankly into my face, he gasped with surprise as he shot a load onto his chest. I waited for another minute, and then I came - hard.
There were tears in his eyes. "That's the way it was supposed to be the first time."
I kissed him gently on the lips. "This is the first time. The other was just a bad dream. Let it go."
Now he was sobbing openly again, his arms tight around my neck, holding me close. I stroked his hair and kissed him lightly on his forehead, waiting for his emotions to settle. When they did, I kissed him softly again and rolled over onto my back, pulling him onto his side next to me, gently stroking his face and hair. If he wanted to do it the other way, I was making myself available.
Nate looked at me, a gentle smile on his face. "I've never been on top."
The smile faded as he rolled away from me muttering, "Maybe I don't deserve it."
I carefully rolled him back towards me and looked into his eyes. "You deserve both, Nate. You deserve to be treated right, either top or bottom."
"This is the first time I've been treated right at all."
I grinned at him. "Thanks. I'm glad ya feel that yer bein' treated right. Now, I'm ready when you are." I handed him the lube.
He smiled again. "I gotta get it up first."
"I can help ya with that if ya want."
"Okay."
In five minutes, he was hard as a rock. And he hadn't missed what I'd been doing earlier. Reaching over, he prepared me just like I had him. I was glad, because his pole resembled Rusty's in size.
Leaning over me, he guided himself to the right place, and then stopped, unsure again.
"I'm afraid I'm gonna lose control and abuse ya like Cory did me."
I grinned at him. "I doubt that very much. Yer not Cory. Go ahead and give it a try."
Slowly he slid inside, his eyes closed in bliss. When he was all the way in, he looked into my eyes with the biggest smile I'd seen so far.
"This is so cool!"
"I'm glad yer enjoying it. Now, do what ya wanna do."
Slowly, he began to move inside me. Then his lips were on mine kissing me gently, then almost frantically, as if he were trying to make up for lost time. As I urged him on with my hands and body, he lost himself completely in what he was doing, forgetting about the hurt and pain, just enjoying the moment.
Having already blown a load once, it took him a while, and he enjoyed every minute of it. He experimented in every way imaginable, stopping occasionally to look down at me with a big grin on his face.
Then, to my surprise, my own excitement was growing. He was watching my face and knew what was happening. With a mischievous grin he pushed me to the edge, and actually laughed out loud when I covered myself with cum. Then he came, and I thought he would never stop.
Then his arms were around my neck, and he was sobbing again.
"You okay, buddy?"
He answered between sobs. "Yeah... I'm okay... Thanks so much, Toby"
I rubbed his back gently. "Yer welcome, buddy. We can do this again if ya wanna. Yer gonna be okay."
We didn't do it again that night. I pulled the top of the sleeping bag over both of us, and we slept in each other's arms until daylight.
When I woke up, Nate wasn't there. I looked around. I could hear the others at the table eating breakfast. Nate was standing by the lake, naked, arms wrapped around himself in the morning chill, watching the mist rise.
"Happy Fourth of July, buddy. Let's get some clothes on."
Nate turned towards me, a happy smile on his face. Running back to me, he lay down, pulled the sleeping bag over us, and wrapped his arms around me.
"I don't wanna get up. I wanna stay here forever."
"Yer gonna starve to death if we do that. Let's get up."
Rusty walked towards us carrying warmer clothes.
"Did you guys have a good night?"
Nate jumped up and put his arms around Rusty, tears in his eyes again.
"I'm so sorry."
Rusty dropped the clothes and hugged Nate. "There's nothin' to be sorry about, bro. We're all gonna pick up the pieces and move on."
The conversation at breakfast was animated. There were lots of replays of the volleyball game, great Frisbee catches, and the sexual exploits of the night.
I had a question. "So, how did you decide who was gonna be on top?"
Rusty grinned. "Austin and I won the volleyball match."
"Ya shoulda had Austin fuck Andy."
Andy responded. "No, ya told me and Austin a while back that we needed to let Rusty top us, so I wanted to try it. You were so right. Not that I spend much time on the bottom, but I'd let Rusty fuck me again in a heartbeat."
I teased him. "Ya just didn't want yer brother to fuck ya."
Andy grinned at me. "Why not? We do it all the time. And sometimes we let someone join us."
I got an instant boner. "I'd volunteer for that."
Andy smiled thoughtfully. "We might just take ya up on that."
Jason was curious. "What's it like to fuck yer twin brother?"
Austin replied. "It's hard to explain. It's a little different 'cuz there's this special connection between twins, so it's kind of like fuckin' yerself."
Jason had a wistful look. "I wish I had a twin brother."
Austin grinned at him. "Well, yer gonna have to settle for yer big bro, Jace."
Jason's adoring look told us he wasn't unhappy about that.
Nate spoke up. "What happens when you add a third person?"
Andy replied this time with a friendly grin. "It isn't always the same. You can join us sometime if ya wanna. It's easier to demonstrate than explain."
Austin was smiling reminiscently. "I had a lot of fun with Jace. I love my twin brother, but I've always wanted a little bro. Jace is perfect."
Nate and I looked at each other and smiled. We both knew whose experience had been best, but we weren't talking about it. That would come later.
The new Ranch Boy Club was off to a great start.
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