Friends
Rusty and I were up at five o'clock. There was no time for morning fun. Quickly into the house, we had a farm breakfast that included eggs, sausages, oatmeal with raisins, and even a piece of pie. I decided that I needed to stay over more often, especially when I was going to work. My own efforts at breakfast were a poor shadow of this.
I worked all day driving the truck, and the harvest was done by four o'clock. On the last load, Pete took me along to show me how to dump the wheat at the grain elevator. It was a multi-step process, involving stopping at one station for moisture testing, and then moving to the next to unload. The grain was dumped into an underground receptacle and then piped up into the elevator. Pete identified the levers he used and their function, but it would take more training for me to remember.
Rusty stopped me as I was getting ready to leave. "Nate's comin' over to spend the night in the barn. Wanna join us?"
I liked the idea. "Sure. What time?"
"How about eight o'clock? We'll all be done with dinner by then."
"Sounds good. It's time the three of us had a long talk."
Rusty grinned. "And perhaps a little more than that."
In the barn, we'd spread out the larger of our sleeping bags on a soft pile of hay, and the three of us were lying on it. At the moment, Nate was on his stomach, and Rusty was straddling his legs, giving him a massage to the sounds of the barn swallows twittering and chirping in the rafters.
"Rusty said you'd joined a support group. Are ya finding that helpful?"
Nate had been nearly asleep, and paused to collect his thoughts. "Very helpful. It's an interesting group. We all knew each other to start with. Or at least had seen each other around. There are a few ground rules. First, we aren't supposed to talk directly about our abuse experience because of the court case. Second, everything that's said is confidential and not to be shared, just like the ranch boy club. Third, we don't give out any names of people who are there. We're encouraged to share how we feel about what happened, and what we're doin' to recover. The idea is that others may pick up on good ideas."
Rusty had a question. "Who's leading the group?"
"A guy from Boise who has experience as a counselor in cases like this. It's being sponsored and paid for by Toby's dad's law firm, but you both probably know that. The guy is really good at gettin' us to think about how to move on. I like him very much. We're meeting twice a week."
Nate continued. "One thing I've noticed is that everyone has become very open to talkin' about sex. One of the big issues seems to be how to relate sexually after this kind of experience. Several of us have told about how unnamed friends are helping us realize that sex is okay, and even enjoyable. Most of us had become withdrawn and were afraid to try. I have both of you to thank for helping me with that."
I replied to that. "We both appreciate yer thanks, but it's not a big deal. We're just helping a friend like anyone would."
Nate wiped a few tears from his eyes. "I may be stretchin' the rules here, but I'm gonna tell ya some general things without naming names. There was one guy last night who told us about a different experience. Instead of becoming withdrawn, he became angry and aggressive, like he was gonna be an abuser, too. He said that he'd had a recent experience with a friend who gently made him aware that he was bein' too aggressive. They made a few changes and it was better for both of them. He made the analogy that sex was like teamwork, the same way it was at work. It was a good thought. I like the guy. I think he and I could become good friends."
I'd have to tread carefully, I could see. Once more, I had to keep my mouth shut, but I was glad to see that both of them were able to help others with their experiences.
Rusty's hands had been massaging Nate's ass cheeks and toying with his hole. "Do ya want an internal massage, too?"
Nate grinned. "So long as Toby doesn't mind watchin'. But we're gonna mess up his sleepin' bag."
I smiled. "I had one of those internal massages a couple days ago, and it was very relaxing. My bag's machine washable. Go for it."
Rusty applied lube. Nate raised his hips to make himself more accessible. Rusty slowly slipped inside.
Nate sighed. "I could do this every day forever."
I smiled. It was good to see Nate so relaxed and happy about casual sex with his friends. It hadn't been that long since he wouldn't even let anyone touch him. He'd come a long way in a short time.
Rusty began to provide the offered massage, kissing his neck, whispering love-messages in his ear. I watched Nate react. At first he just lay there enjoying it. Soon he was gripping the sleeping bag. Then he was moaning with pleasure. Then his body jerked as he silently shot a load onto the sleeping bag. Rusty followed close behind.
Now I was horny as hell. "So, who's gonna give me an internal massage, now that you two have blown yer loads?"
Rusty rolled off Nate, and Nate rolled onto his back.
Nate grinned at me. "Why don't you give me an internal massage now, Toby? Maybe you can make me cum again."
I grinned back. "I thought you'd never ask."
Rusty handed me the lube, and I knelt between Nate's legs. Leaning over, I slipped inside. Kissing him gently, I began to move inside him.
Nate had shot his load too recently to get off with me. I slowly built to a climax and unloaded. Giving him a final kiss, I rolled off to one side.
Nate grinned. "I like this. Two hot guys to screw me, and I can just lay back and enjoy it."
Rusty grinned back. "Yer not gonna get off that easy. Toby, are ya willin' to be the pig in a spit roast?"
I was puzzled. "That's one I haven't heard of. Tell me more."
Rusty had an evil smile. "Get on yer hands and knees and I'll tell ya what to do."
I did as instructed. Before I knew it, I had a boner in each end. Both on their knees, Rusty was screwing me from the rear, and Nate from the front. I didn't have a lot of experience with oral sex, but it didn't take me long to catch on. In this case, I didn't have to do much work - Nate was doing most of it. But it was exciting being able to give Nate pleasure this way.
Grasping my head with both hands, Nate came first. With a groan, he shot a load down my throat. It took a lot of swallowing to get it down, but I managed. Watching Nate must have pushed Rusty over the edge because he came almost immediately.
We all dropped onto our backs with Nate in the middle.
Nate had tears in his eyes. "This is so cool, guys. I love ya both so much."
Rusty and I leaned up on our elbows so we could all see each other to talk.
I opened up. "I think we all love each other in a special way. The subject of marriage came up the other day, and the first thing I thought of was the three of us being together, all helping to raise kids. Jason has two dads. Our kids could have three."
Rusty grinned at me. "I've had thoughts about that, too. We're all so close that we could make it work."
Nate was quiet for a minute. "How can you love someone who's on drugs?"
I responded. "You mean yer antidepressants?"
"Yeah, that's the only drugs I'm on, fortunately."
I paused. "That's not being on drugs, bro. You need that to recover. It doesn't make shit difference to either one of us."
Nate thought about that. "Okay, thanks. But I would need some time to think about it. I love you individually in different ways. I'm not sure I could combine my love that way."
We needed to back off. "Nate, we're not tryin' to push you into anything. This is just something for you to think about. Something for Rusty and me to think about, too. It will only happen if it's right for all of us."
Nate pulled both of our heads over and kissed us, one at a time. "I really wonder how all of this will work out. But it's so much better now than it was, and it can only get better."
Rusty and I both turned on our sides and leaned in to kiss him back. Then, while Nate and I kissed passionately and I played with Nate's nipples, Rusty stroked him until he was hard again.
I paused briefly and grinned at Rusty. Getting the three of us together had been a very good idea.
As Nate and I went back to playing tongue tag, Rusty went down on Nate's boner. Nate's body squirmed with pleasure as Rusty slowly brought him to a climax. Never breaking off the kiss, Nate shot his load and Rusty swallowed it all.
Rusty and I reclined beside Nate again, each of us holding one of his hands.
Nate gripped our hands tightly. "I don't think I can cum any more. What can I do for you guys?"
I leaned over and kissed Nate gently on his cheek. "For tonight, I think we've all done enough for each other. For the future, what you can do is be yerself and do what's right for you."
We pulled the other sleeping bags over us, gave good-night kisses all around, and promptly went to sleep. It had been a long week for all of us, and it had ended on the best note possible.
We slept in until the sun was almost halfway up the sky. After one of my second mom's fantastic farm-style breakfasts, Nate and I headed for home on our four-wheelers. Nate followed me down through the creek bottom and up the other side. We waved to each other as I turned off onto the back road to my parents' home.
I needed a break. I thought about spending the day alone at Austin and Andy's lake and cabin. But I needed a break from work, not people. The quarry of course. I now understood why it was such a Sunday tradition for all of the guys. It was where they could all hang out together and let their hair down on their one day off. After greeting my parents and grabbing some water and snacks, I was on my way.
It was nearly noon when I arrived at the quarry. To my surprise, I was the first one there. Apparently everyone else slept in on Sunday. I doubted if any of them were at church listening to the good parson bashing gays.
A truck door slammed. Austin and Andy came into the pool area and found me lying in the sun naked. They both gave me a wolf whistle. I simply raised my middle finger in a salute. Laughing, they spread towels on both sides of me and lay down.
Austin smiled reminiscently. "I remember the first time ya went skinny-dippin' here. I think ya had a little help gettin' naked that day."
I grinned at him. "Yeah, a little help from some new friends who wanted to fuck the city boy. Now ya get to do that all the time."
Andy looked over at me. "Ya know, we really liked ya from the start, especially 'cause you had a great attitude about adapting to country life. Yer not a city boy anymore. You've adjusted well to the country."
I smiled. "Thanks. I feel like I've been here forever, and it's barely been two months. However, as often as I've been here at the quarry, I've got a question or two related to nudity and sex here. First, do girls ever come here?"
Andy replied. "Not that I know of. There's no social rule against it, but they would have to put up with a bunch of really crude guys."
"How about teachers and other adults?"
Austin answered that one. "The only teachers I've ever seen here are Coach and James. I don't think I've ever seen any other adults either. I think the cops might show up if there was a murder, but not much else. It's sort of a silent agreement that the guys are on their own here."
"Most of the guys I've run into here are gay. What about others?"
Andy had that answer. "Like us, you run into gays 'cause yer gay. There have been times when you were here, and there were lots of very hetero guys here. Beer, pot, sex, whatever. It's a very informal group, and everyone just goes with the flow."
"Okay, thanks for the information. Yer never again gonna see me here with clothes on. And if ya give me any more shit about it, I'll cut ya off."
That produced two roars of laughter. Andy responded. "You wouldn't cut us off 'cause ya like what we give ya too much."
I produced a wry grin. "Yeah, I admit it."
We could hear another pickup arriving. It was Aiden this time, carrying a towel and a medium-sized cooler. I still didn't know if Andy and Austin had been in the poker games when Aiden was participating, so I waited for possible friction.
"Hi, guys." That was Aiden, speaking in a very friendly manner.
Andy replied. "Hey, Aiden, good to see ya. What have ya been up to lately."
Aiden dropped down on his towel beside us. "Well, I've been working on a barn for Toby's dad. Toby is helping us out. He's a damn good worker. He isn't getting paid because we can't legally hire him, but he's still really dedicated. Not to mention he brightens up the work site with his hot body."
Austin laughed. "Do ya mean he works naked, too?"
Aiden grinned. "Nah. But he doesn't wear any more than he has to. He just gets naked during lunch. Since Friday was his first day with the crew, that may not be typical, but I hope it is."
I had an explanation. "I just like to sunbathe when I'm on break, that's all."
Andy looked at me. "Yeah, and yer all-over tan is turnin' sort of red at the moment. I think yer nose is growin' too, Pinocchio. Oh, excuse me, that ain't yer nose."
I stood up. "I think I'll take a swim."
I could hear them laughing as I dove into the pool.
When I got out of the water, two more guys had arrived. Aiden introduced them. "Toby, these are my friends Josh and Matt. They're both working in construction this summer for the first time. They'll both be seniors next year. I know they look intimidating, but don't worry - they won't jump your bones unless you ask them to. Guys, this is Toby Collins. We're building a barn for his dad."
Josh and Matt came over and gave me a fist-bump. I was sure they knew me and Dad by reputation, but no one made a big deal of it.
Matt had brought a set of speakers, and soon his smartphone was hooked up playing the typical country music. Snacks were tossed into a community pile - I added the bag of chips I'd brought. Coolers were opened, and beer passed around. Aiden handed me one and I didn't refuse. Austin and Andy each had a can, too.
After a while, Aiden and I started diving, and the other four followed. Aiden turned out to be an experienced diver, and he and I traded advice and answered questions from the others. As the smallest and youngest guy present, I was glad to have some expertise to keep me from disappearing into the crowd.
A few more guys had shown up now. I knew some of them by sight from previous visits to the quarry. Several of them waved or gave me a fist bump or some other type of handshake.
Someone lit up a joint, and soon the air was filled with the earthy smell of burning marijuana. The music had been turned up, and the songs were from Steve Grand's album, "All-American Boy". I'd heard the title song and "Time" before, but I listened to them now from a different perspective.
My beer can was empty. I walked over and snagged another from a seemingly endless supply, along with a handful of potato chips. Rather than go back to my towel, I sat on the diving rock, watching the others.
Austin, Andy, Matt, and Josh, beers in hand, were standing with the group of guys who were passing the joint around. Austin had his arm around Matt's shoulders. Andy and Josh were taking a toke and laughing at something one of them had said.
Aiden was standing with an older group who were all construction workers. They seemed to be sticking to beer, and from what I could tell, they were discussing humorous work-related experiences.
I felt like the outsider again. I was in a crowd, but I was alone. I knew they were all my friends, but the isolation was real. I dove into the pool and swam a couple laps across and back, getting rid of the feeling of depression. When I climbed out of the pool, I went back to sit on the diving rock.
Suddenly Aiden materialized beside me. "Before you went swimming, I noticed you sitting by yourself watching the rest of us, looking like you felt left out. Am I correct? What else were you feeling?"
I grinned at him. "Have you been taking lessons from yer counselor?"
He grinned back, but I realized he was being serious. "I suppose so, but please answer the question."
I thought for a moment. "I was feeling isolated and alone. I was getting depressed. I think part of it was the music that was playin'. Another part was that I wasn't interested in smokin' pot and I'm not a construction worker, so I didn't have anybody to talk with. To get rid of those feelings, I went for a swim."
Aiden looked out into the distance. "That's just what happens after you've been abused. You're isolated, alone, and depressed. But you may not know what to do about it. And most of us don't have skills to deal with it. You chose to get some exercise. Did it work?"
I was seeing Aiden in a totally different light. "Yes, it did."
"That's one of the things that they recommend. Get exercise. Force yourself to be social even if you don't feel like it. The list goes on. But for a brief moment there, you felt what I've been feeling. I want you to think about how that feels if it goes on for weeks, months, a year."
I thought for a moment. "That would be hell, especially if ya didn't have the skills to deal with it."
Aiden smiled slightly. "You're absolutely correct. That's why it's so important to have friends to help you through it. Some of us in the support group do, some don't. I didn't until Friday."
I looked at him with surprise. "You have all sorts of friends around here. Several of them are standing right across from us. Why not until Friday?"
He looked at me intently, tears in his eyes. "Because you understand me. They don't. We made an awesome connection."
The words were familiar - "you understand me". That's what Nate had said, too. I had no idea where that "understanding" came from, or how I was different from anyone else. It must be that "empathy" that Mom talked about sometimes. I didn't know what it was, but I must have it.
Aiden wiped the tears from his eyes. "That's a first, too. Big boys aren't supposed to cry, you know, especially in public."
We sat in silence for a while, a comfortable silence.
Then Aiden continued. "I was gonna tell you about this tomorrow, but I'll mention it now. Like we discussed, I told the guys at the support group meeting how our experience on Friday helped me realize I didn't need to be so aggressive, and sex was better if I wasn't. I think the rest of the guys benefited from what I told them. The leader jokingly said that he couldn't openly recommend sex, but he was glad that the experience had been helpful."
He smiled slightly. "I needed to tell you that, but I also need to tell you that I'd be happy if we had more of those experiences. I told you Friday that I love to find a guy who just wants to fuck for fun. I may get to the romantic stuff eventually, but right now that's not me."
I gave him a friendly smile. "I've got a boyfriend, an open relationship by the way, and that's very romantic. But thanks to a different experience last week, I realize I like the kind of fun we had Friday. So if it works out, we can do it some more."
Aiden smiled. "Cool! Maybe we can spend some time together after work and be more relaxed about it. By the way, are you done with truck driving? If so, you can work all day if you wanna."
"Thanks for the offer. I'll show up Monday morning and be there all day. Later in the week, I'll be workin' on the pasture fence in the morning."
"Hey, Toby!" The voice was Rusty's. He and Nate had just arrived.
I turned around to wave at them. Nate's expression was one of hero worship, and he wasn't looking at me. "Hi, Aiden. I didn't expect to see you here."
Aiden grinned at Nate. "It's good to see you, buddy. Come on over and I'll get you a beer, or a soda, whichever you want. There are lots of snacks, too."
Nate looked at what Aiden was drinking. "I'll have a beer thanks."
The two of them walked over to get their refreshments, totally forgetting that Rusty and I were even there.
Rusty looked at me thoughtfully. "I think I just put two and two together."
I smiled at him. "For once I can talk about it. Yer math is good. And I wonder if maybe I just lost a fuck buddy."
Rusty was quiet for a few moments. "And I wonder if we're back to just the two of us."
I put my arm around his shoulders. "Don't be sad, Rusty. Gettin' Nate back to normal is the most important thing for both of us. What happens in the future remains to be seen."
We watched as Aiden and Nate took their snacks and sat at the edge of the pool, talking like old friends, their shoulders touching. A safe touch, for now. I was betting on more to come.
Aiden and I were taking our Monday morning break. We'd all spent the first couple of hours removing the temporary braces for the perimeter poles. Now we would begin the installation of the girts, the two-by-four panel supports on the sides of the barn. I was learning a whole new vocabulary. Later, we would install stringers at the top of the walls to support the trusses, and purlins between the trusses on which to fasten the metal roofing. The roofing itself would be next, and the HardiPanel siding would come last.
I opened the conversation. "Something's puzzling me. I had sex with both Logan and Cory, and I never saw them as bein' bottoms, let alone likin' it rough."
Aiden paused for a moment. "You had sex with Cory? How did that happen?"
"It was one time, at a poker game before the abuse came out."
"If that was the same kind of poker game I was in, with Logan and Cory, it was how I got sucked into the abuse. How did you avoid that?"
"I broke up with Logan before it went further." I paused. "If ya don't wanna talk about it, it's okay. I don't wanna bring back bad memories."
Aiden smiled. "No, I don't mind talking about it. I was just thinking about where to begin. Both of them were tops, but you gotta understand what happens when you got two tops who wanna fuck bad. It's simple - one of them is gonna be a bottom. It's a matter of size and assertiveness. I was bigger and a year older than both of them, and I was assertive. So I topped them both. Logan had learned to like taking it rough from Cory. Cory turned out to like it too, but I may have been the only guy to know that. Other than his father, but we won't go there."
Aiden continued. "You gotta understand, it's only a short step from assertive to aggressive. I was already headed there with Cory, and after my abuse from his father, it got worse. Neither Logan nor Cory would do it with me any more. My sexual experiences became one night stands because no one would have sex with me twice. Soon I ran out of opportunities, which just made me more angry."
Aiden had tears in his eyes. "Then the whole abuse thing became known and I got counseling and got into the support group. The first time I've had sex since then was last Friday with you. I think that was the turning point, really. At least I hope it was."
I put a hand on his shoulder and felt him flinch. That maybe was part of the "romantic stuff" he wasn't interested in, but I left my hand there anyway.
"You and me will make it the turning point, bro."
Aiden wiped his eyes, and managed a grin. "Thanks, Toby. I'm gonna take you up on that. Now, we better get back to work."
My task for the day was to keep the three of them supplied with girts and occasionally other materials and tools. I didn't have the skills to do much else, but I felt good about doing menial tasks that kept the rest of them more productive.
When we took our lunch break, Aiden and I sat down together on a pile of lumber. He had seemed a little withdrawn after the morning conversation, but now he was back to normal.
"I gotta leave right after work tonight. I'm picking up Nate to take him to the support group meeting." He paused for a moment. "I guess I blew that, didn't I. I'm not supposed to reveal names."
I smiled at him. "Nate and I are friends. I know he's in the support group, too."
Aiden looked relieved. "Thanks. Nate and I are becoming friends, too. And I gotta be more careful about keeping my mouth shut."
I smiled wryly. "Welcome to the club. Like I told ya Friday, there's a lot I can't talk about, too. I hope you and Nate have a useful evening with the support group."
Aiden hadn't yet connected all of the dots. I knew he would eventually, probably from talking with Nate, but I wasn't going to enlighten him.
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