Re-Bonding
In the morning, it took me a few moments to remember I wasn't in the cabin and the person next to me wasn't Aiden. Odors of frying bacon drifted down the stairs and into the room. I shook Jason awake.
"Rise and shine, Jace. It's time for breakfast."
Dressed, we went upstairs. Mom and Dad were sitting at the table. Two more places were set. I smiled sleepily.
"Good mornin', Mom and Dad. Happy day-after-Christmas."
Dad chuckled. "The day when we're glad it's over and can relax, except for those who have gifts to return."
Jason wasn't satisfied with a verbal greeting. He gave both of them big hugs. Dad had information to share.
"Nate and Aiden are already in the barn. They're feeding Oreo and Domino. When they're done, they're expecting you to help them build a second stall. Aiden brought the tools and material. Fortunately, we poured enough concrete for three or four stalls if we need them. Jace, I checked with your dads. You can stay if you want to."
The response was immediate. "Thanks. I'll stay."
I laughed. "Domino? Obviously stickin' with the black and white theme."
Dad smiled. "Your mom came up with it. What do you think?"
I was still laughing. "It's so perfect it's funny. Or so funny it's perfect, I'm not sure which."
Mom tried to look put out. "Sort of like 'Hot Kid'? Don't laugh too much or I'll find another name."
"No you won't. It's perfect. And I can laugh like you did about my new name."
We finished breakfast and cleaned up the table. Dad took me aside.
"I didn't want this to catch you by surprise. They brought Rusty with them."
It took me a half second to adjust. "Perfect. Workin' together on a project like this will be just right."
I put on some work clothes, and Jason and I walked up to the barn. When he saw Rusty, Jason squealed with delight and ran over to give him a hug. Rusty couldn't help but smile as he hugged him back. Rusty looked at me with only a trace of apprehension.
"Good mornin', Hot Kid. I hope you're doin' okay."
I laughed. "Aiden told ya."
"Yes, as well as the whole story of how it came about. He did that in front of Mom, so it's now on gossip central and spreadin' like wildfire."
"Well, I guess that keeps me from havin' to put a name-change legal notice in the paper."
Aiden and Nate laughed out loud. Any tension evaporated. We were all friends again. I noticed the barn was free of animals. I inquired of Aiden, who was running a heavy-duty extension cord and getting his tools out of their boxes.
"We put them in the corral so they won't be in the way or bothered by our noise. Guys, bring in the lumber and hardware from the truck. This will be an easy job. We're gonna attach an identical stall to Oreo's with a common wall. It won't take long."
It took most of the morning. It was easy only because Aiden knew exactly what to do and who to assign the job to.
I was right. Working together was perfect for the four of us who'd long been very close and needed to be together again. We were nearly finished when Andy stuck his head in the door.
"Where do ya want the hay?" And then in response to our puzzled looks. "Hot Kid's dad bought it from us this morning. It's in the back of our truck."
"I'll open the end doors. We can stack it with the rest next to the pickup. Rusty, why don't you come help us."
The four of us made short work of unloading the hay. While we worked, I developed a plan, and when we were finished, I proposed it.
"Austin and Andy, can you stick around for a while?"
Austin replied. "Sure we don't have anything pressing this morning."
"Okay. Everyone, if I can interrupt your work briefly, I'd like to make a proposal. Since we're all together here, maybe we could go over and see Logan and his boyfriend. What do ya think?"
All of the heads nodded except Jason's. I addressed him.
"Jace, you don't know Logan, but you can go too if ya want to."
"Sure, I oughta 'cause I'm part of the ranch boy club."
Then he appeared puzzled as to why the rest of us froze.
"Jace, remind me to explain it to you later, but there used to be a different ranch boy club. While we're over there, the name must not be mentioned."
He thought for a few moments. "I remember some conversations at the cabin. Does it have somethin' to do with that?"
"Yes."
"I understand."
I pulled out my phone and called Gramps' house phone. A familiar voice answered.
"Hello?"
"Logan?"
"Yes."
"This is Toby. How are ya doin'?"
"Great. It's good to hear your voice."
"Yours too. Logan, there are seven guys here who'd like to come over and visit for a few minutes. You know six of us. Our young friend Jason is new to the area, but you're gonna love him as much as we do."
"Just a minute."
There was a pause while he conferred with his boyfriend. "Sure. We're gonna be here all day. When do ya wanna come over?"
I looked inquiringly at Aiden. "When will we be done?"
"Half hour?"
"Logan, would a half hour from now work?"
"Sure. I'll let Grams know. I'm sure cookies and drinks will be available. God knows there's plenty of that around."
"Okay, we'll see ya then."
I hung up and called Mom and explained. She suggested an alternate plan.
"I'm fixing lunch for all of you. I'll call Grams and they can all come over and join us."
"Perfect. Thanks, Mom."
I hung up and explained the modified plan, and we went back to work.
At noon the day after Christmas, elements of two ranch boy clubs met in our living room. Logan greeted me first with a hug.
"Good to see ya, Toby. This is my friend Dusty."
Dusty was basically Logan with dark hair and more exuberance. He was perfect for Logan. I liked him immediately, as did all of the other guys. Jason hung back. I took care of that.
"Jace, come here. I want you to meet Logan and his friend Dusty. Logan, Jace moved here last summer. Both of his dads are teachers at the high school. We've all come to love him as our little bro."
Logan shook Jason's hand. "Pleased to meet ya, Jace. Grams has told me a little about you and your family already. Do you like livin' here?"
Jason beamed. "I love it, especially havin' six instant brothers."
We all smiled at his enthusiasm.
"Brothers are important. Do they treat ya good?"
"Oh, yes! Very, very good!"
After the laughter subsided, Mom announced lunch, a combination of what both she and Grams had prepared. The group was large for the table, but we made it work. The very congenial conversation included a lot about Dusty, who'd met Logan at school, and whose parents owned a ranch near Twin Falls. You could tell by the way they looked at each other, it was a perfect match.
We managed to bring each other up to date without treading in any dangerous territory. Jason was unusually quiet, taking all of it in, learning new faces and new relationships.
Before they left, Logan took me aside. "I heard about you and Rusty. I'm sorry it didn't work out in the end, but I know him and Nate have a long history together."
I put an arm around his shoulders, and realized suddenly how much I'd grown in the last six months.
"In the end, it will all be for the better. We just don't know what better is yet."
He smiled. "That's a good way to look at it."
"You told me several times that Rusty was right for me. I think you were correct - but I wasn't right for him. I hope I find somebody this time who's right both ways."
I could tell he was holding back tears. I knew he felt bad that I lacked what both he and Rusty now had. "I hope you do too, Hot Kid." He smiled slightly. "Yeah, I know about your new name, and I'm pleased to know I'm still part of your life that way. And do ya still have your John Deere cap?"
I grinned. "I do. And I still think of you when I put it on."
He smiled. "Same here. Now, you take care of yourself."
"You too."
After the others departed, Aiden had some instructions for us.
"Mrs. Collins, could you use some help cleaning up?"
"Yes, I could, Aiden. That's very thoughtful of you."
Aiden continued. "Austin and Andy, if you could help Mrs. Collins, the rest of us have some cleanup to do in the barn. And the animals are still outside."
Austin smiled and gave a salute. "You bet, boss."
That brought smiles from Andy and me. We'd experienced his excellent leadership for a couple of days.
The tools were quickly put away, the lumber scraps cleaned up, and the stalls prepared with fresh straw and hay. Rusty led Domino into her new stall. Nate led Oreo back to hers, and winced as she licked his cheek with her rough tongue. Austin and Andy showed up as we finished.
I asked for their attention. "Thanks so much for bringin' the materials and settin' up the work party, Aiden. And Nate, thanks so much for arrangin' for Domino. Mom and Dad were properly surprised. Austin and Andy, thanks for bringin' the hay and helpin' Mom. And Rusty, just thanks so much for bein' here. It means a lot to me."
I'd deliberately left out Jason. The other guys were waiting. I looked towards Jason, and found him looking at his shoes.
"Oh, shit! I forgot somebody."
Jason looked up at me, looked at my grin and the twinkle in my eye, and his face lit up like a Christmas tree.
"Little Bro Jace, thanks for all of your help ever since you came here. You're a little bro to all of us, and the glue that holds us together."
As Jason and I hugged, the rest applauded and cheered. I hugged Rusty next. Then there were hugs all around.
While everyone else gathered in a group to share holiday experiences, I took Aiden aside.
"I wanted to thank you for bringin' Rusty. It was brilliant."
He smiled. "I can't take the credit. It was Nate's idea."
"Why am I not surprised?"
I took Nate aside, and repeated my message. He gave me a bear hug that nearly took my breath away. He was, indeed, turning into a little hunk.
"It seemed like the right thing to do."
I kissed him on the cheek. "It was."
I had a task to do, and it wouldn't help to put it off. There was a ring in my dresser that needed to be returned.
I'd picked it out with Dad's approval. It was a simple ring, and not that expensive, but it was beautiful, at least to me. We'd used Dad's credit card to pay for it.
Dad was taking the rest of the week off, but was in his home office when I went looking.
"Dad, I gotta return the ring you and I bought a while ago. We bought it on your card. Will you need to be there when I return it?"
I might have said, "The ring I bought for Rusty." I couldn't bring myself to say the words. Dad thought for a moment.
"Let me go with you, just in case."
When I bought the ring it would have been, "Let me take you." Now it was, "Let me go with you." Another sign of change.
I backed the car out of the garage, and he got into the passenger seat. As I drove the short distance into town, I thought about the day I'd bought the ring, two months earlier. It had been a perfect mid-October Saturday, no wind, temperatures in the low sixties, with trees and shrubs of red and gold lining the stream banks. I'd been sitting in my favorite spot by the creek, full of love and happiness, when I had the inspiration. I went home immediately and asked Dad to take me to the jewelry store in town.
As with the stream bank, the trees lining the town streets were in full fall color. I remembered particularly the bright yellow maple in front of Nelson Jewelry, Est. 1953, and the warm greeting Mr. Nelson gave us when we entered. Perhaps this was the third Mr. Nelson to operate the store, or maybe even the fourth. Why did I remember all this detail? Today all I felt was intense sadness, and my awareness of the beauty of my winter surroundings was zero.
I parallel-parked in front of the store, another new skill. We went inside, and were greeted warmly once again.
"Good afternoon, Don, Toby. How can I help you?"
I set the box on the counter. "I need to return this ring."
Without being obvious about it, Mr. Nelson checked the ring to make sure it was the one he'd sold us.
"I hope there was nothing wrong with the ring."
"No, only with the relationship."
I was surprised at how bitter I sounded. I'd been doing so well all day. A professional, Mr. Nelson let my response go by without comment.
"Don, it will make it easier if I could have your card to put the credit on."
"Certainly."
While Mr. Nelson did the paperwork, I glanced idly around. At the end of the counter, their backs to us, Rusty and Nate were looking at rings.
Mr. Nelson handed Dad the paperwork and said something polite to me. I'm sure I was equally polite, but I couldn't get out of there fast enough.
If Dad noticed Rusty and Nate, he said nothing about it. We'd barely left the store when my phone rang. When I answered, it was Coach.
"Toby, if you have some time, could you please stop by today? I'd like to talk with you briefly."
"I'm four blocks from your house. I could come by now."
"That would be excellent. I'll look for you soon."
I hung up the phone.
"Dad, that was Coach. He wants me to stop by for a while. Would you mind if I did that now? If he can't bring me home, I'll call."
"No problem. I'll drop you off at his place."
Coach met me at the door and directed me to the living room. Shago sat in an easy chair, his hands casually locked behind his head, smiling at me.
"Hey, Hot Kid. Have a seat. How's it goin'?"
"Okay".
"Just okay?"
"Yeah, that'll have to do for now."
As I sat, I observed the picture of my ancestor and me sitting on their mantle, and smiled. Coach followed my eyes.
"We decided it should be displayed prominently. We had several guests today, and that's the first thing they noticed."
I sat down in a chair near Shago. Coach sat down on the couch. I got to the point.
"What's on your mind, Coach?"
He smiled gently. "Shago told me you needed to talk with us."
I was puzzled.
"Shago, what gave you that idea?"
"You told me. Before you get more confused, let me remind you that I knew intuitively about your Native American ancestry. Today, I knew you should come visit us. You and I can talk more about that later. Right now, what's troubling you?"
I told them about purchasing the ring and the intense happiness I had then. I told them about returning the ring, about my bitter feelings and sadness, and about seeing Rusty and Nate in the store. Coach was silent for a few moments before he responded.
"What do you have planned for the next few days?"
"Very little, really. Why do you ask?"
"I suggest spending time walking in nature. It's not the most hospitable season for that, but time spent doing so will be useful to you. Walk around your property, maybe nearby places that are meaningful. It'll give you a chance to meditate and reflect. But don't spend too much time alone. The last few days have been very intense for you in many ways. Some alone time will be good, but the comfort of friends is important now."
For a minute or so, I reflected on what he'd said. He was right. As soon as I was alone, I began to think negatively.
"Thanks, Coach. I understand exactly. I should have thought about lettin' nature heal me. It's what I guided others to last summer. Why couldn't I see that I need it too?"
Coach smiled. "We have a certain myopia that way. That's why we need each other - to remind us of what we need to do."
He let me think about that for a while before continuing.
"Would you like to stay for dinner?"
I stood. "Thank you, but I gotta go home. I have some animals to look after, and I've neglected my parents lately."
"I understand. Shago will take you home."
Shago and I rode home in silence. I was deep in thought, and he respected my need to think. When we pulled into the driveway, he had a suggestion.
"I'm going to Boise tomorrow to pick up some things for BW Ranch Supply. Would you like to go with me? It'd give us a chance to talk. I haven't seen much of you lately."
"Yeah, school does that. I'll take you up on that offer. Thanks a lot."
"Great! I'll pick you up at eight o'clock."
Once inside by way of the basement door, I went upstairs. Mom was in the kitchen preparing dinner. I gave her a kiss and a big hug.
"I'm goin' to Boise with Shago tomorrow. After we have dinner and I look after the animals, I'd love to play a game of Monopoly."
She smiled. "Not that I'm complaining, but what's giving you this sudden interest in your parents."
I kissed her again. "Maybe it's because they've taken so much interest in me."
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