Chapter One: The Note
It was the first day after spring break ended and everyone was not too happy to be back. I had Theatre first period. The teacher was droning on and on about lighting a stage and the different types of lights used in theatre so I just kind of spaced out. Before I knew my gaze had wandered on to him. Randy Thomas. I had had a crush on Randy since I first laid eyes on him at the beginning of freshman year. He was one of the school potheads, but he was funny and not to mention really cute! He was about 5'6 1/2", had red brown hair, and the most amazing blue/green/gray eyes. He lifted weights before and during strength at school and so he was easily 159-170 pounds of all muscle. We had gone through a lot of flirting throughout the year (at least that is what I thought) and during spring break I had made up my mind to have someone tell Randy that I liked him. You see, I was a very out person. I wasn't an over feminine homosexual, but feminine enough for most people to figure out that I was gay. I had even told a number of people about me, so pretty much the entire school knew. But even so, I couldn't bring myself to tell Randy that I liked him. I was pretty sure that Randy wouldn't do anything rash like kick my ass, but if he just shut me down I don't think I would have taken it so well. That is why I wrote this note to Crystal. It said:
Dear Krys,
Hey chik, wuz up? Not shiznit here. I have a REALLY big favor to ask you. Well, you know how I like Randy Thomas right? Well, since you went out with him at one point (at least that's what I heard) I was kind of wondering if you could tell him something for me. I was wondering if you would tell him that I liked him. But only he can know. I mean... I don't know what I mean. You're probably wondering why I am asking you to do this instead of me doing it myself, right? Well, I'm just not the best person to tell my innermost feelings to someone especially if it has to do with them.
I wouldn't be asking you this unless I really wanted him to know. I don't know why I want him to know but I just have this feeling that I should tell someone that I like that I like them. And well out of Josh, Trent, and Randy, I just figured that Randy would be the safest person to tell
Anyway I am going to let you go now but I will catch you later, -k-?
Love always,
Danny
P.S. PLEASE don't let anyone else see this letter please. Thanks.
When I gave that letter to Krystal I just said that I had to go to class and I left to Theatre. I was anxious about her telling Randy that I liked him, but I forced myself to calm down. Randy was just sitting there staring off into space when he turned around and looked at me. His eyes always had this tired looking happiness in them whenever he was stoned. That's what was in there now. He smiled then as he turned back around when the teacher handed him his weekly grade report from the week before we left for spring break. I wanted to just go over to him and tell him what I felt and take him into my arms and kiss those sweet tender lips, but I remained in my seat like a good boy and waited for the bell to ring. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the passing bell rang. Onto Health, which I also had with Randy. I got into the commons area and saw Krystal. She just saw me and smiled and then walked back behind me right to Randy's side. I didn't want to be around when she told him so I hurriedly ran down to the Health room. I got there and put my backpack under the stairs and almost ran into the teacher as I got into the classroom.
"Slow down Danny," Mrs. Jackson said to me with a stern tone of voice.
"Yes ma'am," I replied with a bit of an embarrassed look on my face.
I took my seat in the back left-hand corner of the room just as Randy came in the door. He looked around and finally saw me I tried to look away, but there was just something in him that I couldn't pull away from. He smiled at me then. I finally was able to look away but not without a shy smile on my face. I couldn't believe it! I was absolutely positive that Krystal had told Randy that I liked him and he was still smiling at me!
I became too busy thinking about Randy to realize that Mrs. Jackson was standing right in front of me and waiting for me to answer some question.
"Danny. Danny. DANNY!!!"
"Huh? Oh, umm yes Mrs. Jackson?" was all that managed to make it out of my mouth.
"So nice of you to join the real world Mr. James. Now will you answer my question? What causes the male erection?"
I almost busted out laughing right then just because I had been thinking about Randy the whole period pretty much.
"Umm.... It's some form of stimuli that causes the blood to rush to the penis thereby causing it to enlarge and stiffen."
"Correct. Now if you please would you remain alert throughout the rest of the period?"
"Yes ma'am."
There were hushed giggles from around the room as the teacher walked back to the podium. The rest of the period seemed to fly by and I still didn't hear a word that the teacher said. As I got up my friend Michael came over and asked me if everything was okay.
"Of course. I was just a little... preoccupied today," was my response.
I couldn't keep myself from grinning as I thought of what had caused my preoccupation. I went under the stairs to get my backpack and he is there. Randy. I get kind of sheepish all of the sudden and say hi. He gives me one of those dazzling smiles of his and I can barely take my eyes off of him. But, I overcome my weakness and pick up my backpack. Just at that moment he reaches over and touches me with just the tips of his fingers. I got up and looked into hi eyes. In that moment I knew that I wanted to be with him forever. I started to say something but Randy just put one finger ever so gently upon my lips and motioned me to walk to class with him. Our classes were right next to each other so we got there and I took one last look at him and walked into the classroom.
I was late of course, but that didn't matter because I had first lunch period today so I just had to walk to lunch from class. I got in line and grabbed my lunch tray. Oh yay, we're having "Char Burgers" today. Our school's lame excuse for a hamburger. I didn't really care about that though I was still in shock about what had happened earlier. I walked towards my normal lunch table when Josh Foster bumped into me. Josh was soooo cute. He was about 5'8", 148lbs, just past shoulder length dark brown hair, deep blue green eyes and even though he was kind of skinny he was really muscular.
"Whoa, dude, sorry. Guess I have to watch where I'm going'. See you later dude."
That was all that Josh said, but I was shocked that he said even that to me because most people in the school either don't like me or just won't talk to me. I sat down at my table and Nancy started to blab to everyone about her Algebra test that she had this period. I finished eating before everyone else and dumped my tray. I couldn't stop thinking about Randy. I wanted to see him again so bad, and I mean, I know I can see him from my table because he is only a few tables away, but then it would seem like I was stalking him or something and I didn't want to scare Randy away. I just went into the bathroom into one of the stalls and started to cry. Not loudly, but just enough to get my feelings out.
There was a knock on the stall door and someone tried to open it. I thought to myself oh shit, I'm going to get caught crying in the boys' bathroom!
"Danny, it's me. Let me in please."
I would know that voice anywhere. It was Randy wanting to come in. What else could I do? I unlocked the door and let him in.
"Dude, what's wrong? Are you okay? Come on, talk to me please," was the first thing that Randy asked me when he saw my tear stricken face and my blood shot eyes.
"Nothing, I'm fine. Really I am," was my lame reply.
"Danny, If we're going to be in a relationship then you have to trust me. Come on, tell me what's wrong."
I was shocked to hear him say that word "relationship" said in the same sentence as "we're". I couldn't say anything. I just looked into his eyes and tried to keep the tears from coming out. Finally I spoke to him.
"I just... I just can't believe that you ... I don't understand how someone like you could ever have feelings for someone like me. I'm just so happy and confused and ... and... Oh I don't know what I am.
"Danny, Danny, Danny. Oh, Danny. How could you not think that someone could love you? You're wonderful."
With that last word he leaned forward and pressed his soft lips against mine. So strong and yet so soft.
Just at that moment the bell rang. One last longing look and Randy was gone, out the door and onto class. I sat there for a couple of minutes in quiet shock. Then I brought myself back to reality and realized that I was going to be late for class.