PLEASE READ THESE DISCLAIMERS:
This story is a very long work of gay erotic science fiction. There are some scenes of man on man action but it will not be a dominating factor in this story. So if you are looking for something to get off to you might as well turn around now.
The names and places in this story are entirely fictitious, any relation to persons or events are entirely coincidental. HOWEVER: they are based off of real places and events to make the story seem more plausible.
If you are underage, or this is illegal where you are, then please do the right thing... (Whatever that may be...)
This story is copyrighted, ©2010. To me the author and it is therefore illegal to copy or use any part of this story without my written permission.
Which leads me to: If you have any desire to get in contact with me for comments, directions to a good Beta, pictures, or music relating to the story, or for permission to use my story (for lord only knows what...) You may contact me at my email address: cailenauthor@yahoo.com
Thank you: Cailen
Chapter 10: I Hate You
Monday's suck...
It was like things had been building to a boiling point and now it felt like I was about to explode. I had to do something because for the past few weeks I had spent the majority of my time with Ian, but this past weekend I trained some more with my dad and did absolutely everything in my power to forget he even existed.
It felt like there was a hole in my heart and it was aching and I don't know why I was hurting like this. Part of me was chalking up to teenage hormones but another part of me refused to let go. The mere thought of Ian sent Icy chills down my spine.
Speaking of which those chills and feeling like I was being doused with icy water were only getting worse and I didn't what it was or what I meant and I was beginning to seriously consider going to see a doctor.
Monday came as both a blessing and a curse as I would more than likely run into Ian again but at the same time I wanted to kick his face in. I had to do something it was like those chills I felt every time I saw him were making me do so.
He ignored me through homeroom and in the halls he was being even more overtly disgusting with Amanda. During that time I formulated my plan. Just before lunch I'd make my move and drag him into the bathroom and confront him. It sounded simple enough in my head so when the bell rang and throngs of kids made their way to the cafeteria. I spotted Ian and I rushed over to him
"We need to talk" I said
I ushered him into the nearest bathroom and shut the door behind us. I took a moment to make sure the room was empty and I looked him square in the eyes
"What do you want?" Ian asked me
"I hate you" I said looking at Ian holding his gaze
"What?" Ian asked
This wasn't going the way I planned.
"I said I hate you... you're a coward... I thought you were brave enough to be my friend that you'd be brave enough to admit your own feelings, but I guess I was wrong."
"Is that all you wanted?" Ian asked
That same feeling passed over me and I felt ice around my heart and it felt like I was drowning.
"I want you to look me square in the eyes and tell me that for not for a single second that you ever were in love with me?"
"I never loved you" Ian said
"Very well" I said turning to leave
"Raven..."
I saw the tears well up in his eyes
Why are you doing this?" I asked "to you and to me? I know and I can feel it with every fiber of my being that you feel something for me and you're holding back, I want to know why." I said
"Dustin, some things just can never be, if I allowed this to happen I would only succeed in hurting you even more. Please believe me." he said
"How?" I asked "how could it be worse than this, I feel like I've been doused in a bucket of ice water and I get chills every time I see you. I feel funny all over and things have been weird." I said
"I wish I could help you, that there was someone to help you get through this..." Ian said suddenly becoming lost in thought. He surprised me when he suddenly smiled and then his face returned to being completely blank "I'm sorry" he said
"I guess this is goodbye then..." I said walking over to him and I planted a small kiss on his lips. It was short and tender.
Ian's tears flowed down his face. He stopped by the paper towel dispenser and wiped his face and tried to regain his composure as he left the bathroom and I walked into the corner stall and wept.
It was kind of weird sitting in that stall. I still felt that icy chill spread all over me as almost as if it were trying to comfort me. I felt the pain in my chest tighten and that icy feeling wash around it.
I stared at the walls of the stall and for a very brief moment imagined it as my tomb and a part of me had died, but I was never big into suicide as I was far too scared of death to try anything stupid.
So here I was crying my eyes out, I was never particularly religious but I sat in that bathroom stall and I prayed, for the first time I ever really prayed for anything.
`God... Jesus...anyone, you made me this way for a reason. But I do not understand the purpose. This is all so painful to me and it feels like I am dying. I need you, I need you right now... I need your help. Please help me, help ease the pain. Give me some sort of sign, any kind of sign... to let me know that things will eventually end up right? Please god... why am I like this, what are these feelings for?" I asked "amen"
The icy chill that I had been feeling disappeared and I momentarily calmed
Suddenly I heard the door to the bathroom open and my heart started pounding into my chest. I heard a voice that will forever haunt my soul.
"His faggot ass wasn't in lunch he's got to be in here!" I heard Corey say
"There's nowhere to run now" I heard one of Cory's friends say
It at these moments time seems to slow down and ideas coalesce into greater pictures and with the emotions I basically came to the conclusion that I no longer had the will to fight anymore. I had given up and even that chill I felt when I went into my focused place had given up with me.
I got up off the toilet and opened my stall door
"I'm right here!" I said loudly
Corey turned and looked at me
"There you are faggot" he said
"Here I am" I said
"Nowhere to hide now" his friend leered
"I'm not going to hide" I said
Cory grabbed my shoulders and I saw his arm go back and felt the fist connect with my face and then the work faded to black.
I opened my eyes to see myself standing in the bathroom where I just had been before. Glancing around I noticed that the furthest stall had the door open. I saw Corey standing over me kicking me repeated everywhere he could. I waited as Corey pulled down my pants and took out a dowel from shop class and he quite forcefully shoved it into my ass.
Instantly a torrent of blood erupted from my punctured hole and they resumed kicking me. I was sure I heard some ribs crack.
Suddenly I heard a crash behind me and saw Ian come rushing into the bathroom.
Corey turned and raised his bloody fists but was suddenly thrown back by a kick to his head. Knocking him out cold as he hit the wall, the others weren't as lucky as they tried fighting too. One of them got their arm broken and the other one had his knee dislocated. Ian rushed past them and into the stall
"NO NO NO!!!" Ian yelled
I stood behind him and glanced down to the floor. I realized I was looking at my own body. Blood was all over its face and coming out its nose freely. There were bruises all over its side exposing it when his shirt had somehow managed to come off the worst was the stick violating it at an odd angle with the blood pouring down its legs.
"Dustin can you hear me!" Ian yelled touching my face
"Yes" I said from behind him
Seeming to ignore me, Ian pushed his fingers into the body's neck and put his ear over the face
"Oh my god he's not breathing" Ian said
"Please Dustin come back!" Ian placed his hands over the body's heart and started CPR.
"OWW" I said from behind him "I felt that"
Ian started putting breaths into my lungs
"DUSTIN YOU CAN'T DIE... PLEASE GOD... PLEASE... I LOVE HIM...I LOVE HIM!"
With the sound of rushing water I felt myself falling towards the floor to my body and with that crashing sound in my ears I succumbed to the darkness again.
"Please let me go" I heard a voice say
`Let me go' I thought
"I want to be with him" the voice said again
`All I wanted was to be left alone' I thought
.................................................................
Well this is the end of Part 1 of Raven, but don't worry there is plenty more. Big changes are coming for Dustin and hopefully they are for the better. I want to take a moment and send a big thanks my reviewers. Aditus, Chris, Dew, Darryl, Daniel, James, Jordane, Ken, Michael, Nicolas, S.E. Sam, Scott, Tommy and Tracey. It really is your positive messages that keep me motivated and writing.
Next on the list; I realize there are some errors, and I want to thank y'all who have taken the time to point out some of the larger ones. They are being addressed and at some point in the future I will be posting a PDF of a finalized version replacing the draft that is here. Please don't let that discourage you from reading. Writing is a process and I am glad that you guys are a part of it.
Finally... YES this is a Fantasy story. Making the story realistic in the beginning was completely intentional; the idea is that I want the story to feel real. It is my hope that you will continue to enjoy the story as it keeps getting progressively stranger.
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart
Cailen Vature