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Chapter 27: We're the same
I couldn't shake the feeling of dread as I woke up on Monday morning. I managed to delay the inevitable by method of the snooze button several times, but eventually I dragged myself out of bed and got dressed and down to the bus.
I watched the trees pass as we were riding and I sighed as I thought about Jay and how things had turned out. He had even told me he didn't know how long we were going to last so I really shouldn't be shocked it was only a couple of weeks but I had felt like we had made a deeper connection. I had really believed him when he said I was part of his Anam Cara so I guess that is why it hurt so much. About halfway during the ride it started raining which only emulated my mood as I got off the bus in the pouring rain and shuffled my way to homeroom.
I entered the room and James gave me a big smile and I tried to give one back to him as I took my seat in front of his desk.
"Morning Mr. Blackwell" I said to him
"Morning Dustin, are you alright, you don't look well?" he said
"I'm going to be fine" I said trying to wave him off
He let the subject drop as he marked me present and I opened my book and decided to do some light reading before I headed off to the library.
Jay' I thought he going to be in the library'
"Damnit" I muttered under my breath and I sighed trying to keep my mind off him, I tried to think of anything but I couldn't so I put my book back into my bag and put my head down on my desk.
While lying on my desk I fantasized about various ways I could get out of going to the library; falling down a flight of stairs, setting the building on fire... that one was particularity tempting... I could also pretend to be sick, lie down on the floor and start faking a seizure and I could...
"Dust you alright?"
I bolted upright and turned to look Ian in the eyes
"Ian you scared me" I said
He smiled at me then frowned a little
"You don't look so good" he said
`That's it! I'm sick... FREEDOM!' I thought
Ian put his hand to my head and felt it
"No fever though, I guess you'll be okay" he smiled again
`NOOOOOOO!' my brain cried
"Are you sure?" I asked
"Pretty sure" he said looking me over "oh I see"
"What?" I asked
"You're going to study after homeroom and four hours of nothing but you and Jay" he smirked a little and I wanted to wipe that look right off his face.
"Yea" I said dejectedly
"Cheer up..." he smiled at me "I'll see you soon" Ian got up and said a few words to Mr. Blackwell and rushed out of the room before the bell.
A few minutes later the bell rang and I dragged myself to the library and made my way to my table in the back and braced for the worst. I shut my eyes and willed everything to be okay. A few moments later I heard the chair across from me slide over and a backpack hit the floor and someone sitting down. I opened my eyes
"IAN" I shouted
"Shhhhh..." he said "this is a library silly" he smiled "I talked to coach Erickson and told him my leg wasn't feeling that great so he wrote me a pass" he said offering me the pass
"You little shit" I smiled
"At least this way you don't suffer alone, misery enjoys company right?" Ian said
"That's right" I heard from the bookcase beside us and watched as Jay came into view. He had bags under his eyes and had a pale appearance.
"You shouldn't be here" Ian hissed at Jay
"Neither should you" Jay snapped back "though I will not dispute your right" he sighed "Virgil, Dust... please I did not come here to start a fight."
I nodded and Jay took the seat between Ian and myself and an awkward silence followed
"All I want to know Jackson is why?" I asked not even looking at him
"I promised I would always be there for you and I really made a mess of things haven't I?" Jay said "I'm so sorry Dustin, you were not supposed to see what you saw, I'm sorry for all the hurt I gave you; I love you so much... you're part of me, my Anam Cara..." I interrupted
"Cut the crap, that's not an answer, I asked why... tell me why!" I hissed dangerously loud
Jay looked around
"We're the same" Jay said
"What?" I asked
"Colin and I" Jay said "we're the same"
"That doesn't make any sense, you're the same what?" I asked
"That doesn't matter Dustin, I'm sorry alright... I know your heart is hurting but I know that is the part that still cares about me, and I still care about you. Perhaps we cannot go back to what we were but I will always want to be your friend" Jay said
"He deserves a better explanation of your actions if you expect forgiveness" Ian said suddenly "especially with Colin of all people"
"You've told him everything then?" Jay asked
"I had nobody else to turn to" I said back
"That doesn't surprise me" Jay said
"Jackson, I said that if there was something going on with Colin that you could have told me, instead you take me and make love to me, only for me to find about Colin later... you broke my heart"
"So did he tell you we made move too?" Jay asked Ian
"Jay that might not be wise" I said "and yes I already told him"
"I'm not afraid of Virgil" Jay said flatly "he's rusty, hasn't had a good fight in years"
"Keep talking and you'll be my first" Ian growled back
"Guys..." I said
"I could change your world" Jay said giving Ian a smirk
"I could end yours" Ian said
"Guys..."
I was seeing a much darker side of them I really didn't wish to see
"I think it's time we took this someplace else" Ian said
"Couldn't agree more" Jay said and I watched in horror as they both got up and left their things
"Guys!" I almost shouted after them as they crossed the hall and cut through the locker room to get to the pool. It wasn't going to be used for the next two periods at least. They entered the pool area and went down to one end near the diving boards where the most open flat surface was.
"I won't go easy on you" Jay said cockily to Ian who just scoffed as he took off his shirt.
"Neither will I" Ian said throwing his shirt to the ground.
I was stunned here I was standing by the diving boards watching my former lover face my friend. Jay was wearing jeans and Ian was down to just his khakis. They stood facing each other for what seemed like an eternity. Their eyes locked on one another
"Guys please stop this!" I shouted suddenly Jay moved Jay moved at an alarming speed much faster than what I was expecting and from what I could tell much faster than what Ian was expecting because he instantly switched to defensive.
I could tell instantly that Jackson was not a normal human being and although Ian was a good fighter he was no match. Jay then launched a series of punches and swings at such a speed they were almost a blur.
Ian countered and spun to launch a kick that Jay had to spin away to deflect.
The speed Jackson was accomplishing could not me human and my magic awakened inside of me as I watched them fight.
"Pitiful" Jay said running his fingers through his hair. I watched as Ian was heaving his chest as if winded. Jay came forward again and this time Ian was better prepared and they faced off near evenly and they both were kicking and punching in a flurry.
My magic poured a cold chill pass over me as I watched the fighting and timed seemed to slow down even though they were still punching very fast. It appeared my magic was attempting to compensate for Jackson's unnatural speed.
For a moment Ian seemed to be gaining an upper hand when suddenly I saw it first. Jay spun to kick and Ian ducked the first one but did not anticipate the second one.
"IAN!" I shouted as I watched Jay's foot connect with his face and I watched Ian spin around and fall to the ground. Jay stalked up to him and I felt my body moving
"NO!" I shouted and I caught Jay by surprise as my magic surged into my arm and I pushed him and he shot away from me flipping upside down as he was throw bodily backwards into the pool.
I knelt down to check Ian who seemed to be only knocked out. Suddenly I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and a cold chill go down my spine as my magic came back to life. I looked to the pool and saw only the clear smooth water undisturbed.
`Something is wrong'
I know I had seen Jackson fly towards the water so there should have been a splash. I remember as my mind replayed as I pushed Jay into the pool, and as my thoughts wandered to him and then I saw him.
Jay was standing in the pool. His feel touching the water of the deep end as if he were standing on a solid surface. I could see the water below him and I could tell his feet were touching the surface. He looked at me and I looked into his green eyes and I could see the pain behind them.
"Jay?" I asked
Jay walked forward and I could hear his steps as if he were stepping in a shallow puddle as his feet connected with the water below him till he got to the edge of the pool and stepped up and over to where I was standing.
My first reaction was fear as I had just watched someone I knew and loved literally walking on water but I didn't. I stood and faced him head on. My magic surged inside me and I was shocked to see that there was some kind of shield formed around me and I `knew' that Jackson could not physically get to me.
This was what my magic was trying to tell me, this was what I seemed to be missing and what I wasn't getting. Jackson had magic too.
"Jackson" I said "are you going to try and hurt me too?" I asked pointing to Ian still passed out on the ground
"I could not hurt you Raven, ever." He said looking down
"If you hurt Ian, you hurt me" I said and Jay nodded
"Dustin?" Jay asked
"Yes?" I looked up at him and looked right into his green eyes
"Are you not afraid?" Jay asked
"No" I answered honestly "but you better tell me what is going on" I said
"I cannot" Jay replied
"Why?" I asked
"This is important so please remember it." He said "Everything leading up to this moment has been scripted for your benefit. In order for you to see this happen you first had to believe it could be possible and most importantly truly believe and know what you were seeing was real."
"I figured out what I was feeling was magic when Colin was in the hospital" I said
"When we first met I asked you if you believe in magic and you rebutted that some things that cannot be explained must be magical. That being so, can you accept that there are some laws that cannot be broken?" he said reaching out and taking my hand
I looked up at him in understanding
"You're bound to secrecy" I said
"I cannot tell you, there are some secrets you must discover on your own" he smiled holding my hand
"Colin is the same?" I asked "as you?"
Jay simply nodded
"And you have the ability to walk on water?" I asked
"I can, though it takes some effort and practice" he smiled "most importantly the knowledge and belief that one can"
"Could I learn to walk on water?" I asked
"Possibly, I don't know" Jay said
"Could Ian" I asked
"No" Jay said flatly
"So you're saying I am different than Ian?" I asked
"I didn't say that" Jay said defensively
"I know but I am supposing you can't tell me so I have to figure it out on my own." I said "am I the same as you?" I asked
"No" Jay said smiling
"Okay I give up... for now" I said letting go of his arm and I knelt down next to Ian.
"I can't believe you hurt him" I said "I told you guys to stop"
"When one issues a challenge it is binding and cannot be ignored" Jay said leaning over Ian and placed his hands on his chest "especially if you are someone like me."
"What are you doing?" I asked
"Making him better" Jay said giving me a small smile
Jay leaned down and stared at Ian as if in a trance and suddenly Ian opened his eyes and put his hands to his face
"Are you alright?" Jay said
"You kicked my ass" Ian said looking up at Jay and myself
"I'm sorry about that" Jay said offering Ian a hand up and Ian took it.
"That's alright" Ian said
"You guys okay now?" I asked and Ian smiled
"Well I'm not going to pick another fight with him, that's for damn sure!" Ian smiled and Jay laughed and patted him on the back.
"Good then" I said
"Are you guys going to be okay now?" Ian asked and I looked at Jay and then nodded
"I think we'll be okay for now" I said
"Good, I got to run to math" Ian smiled and walked out of the pool area
I instantly turned around and looked at Jay
"Okay what did you do to him?" I asked
"Nothing" Jay gave me an innocent smile
"Bull" I said giving him a stern look
"Alright I modified his memory slightly to give me a more favorable outlook so we wouldn't keep fighting, harmless... I swear" Jay said putting his hands up in a defensive way
"I discover my ex is some sort of magical being and within minutes you're modifying my friend's memories" I said
"Your ex?" Jay stopped dead and gave me a sad look
"I'm sorry Jay, but I can't just have my memories modified" I said
"I know I've tried!" Jay said and this time I stopped dead in my tracks
"WHAT!" I yelled
"When Colin fell in the pool" Jay said and I calmed down
"So you can't change my memories?" I asked
"No" Jay said and this time I smiled
"Thank god" I said "so what else can you do?" I asked and Jay shrugged his shoulders
"Great more guessing games" I said
"All things considered you're taking this rather well" Jay said giving me a warm smile
"Trust me Jay, I am NOT taking this well" I said "you lied to me"
"I withheld the truth" he said "because I had to"
"Had to?" I asked
"Ordered to, as I told you this was all arranged for your benefit, although we've had a few hiccups. Colin's accident and of course you seeing us together." Jackson said
"I thought you loved me!" I shouted wanting to hit him
"I do, but not really romantically I'm afraid" Jackson said and my heart was smashed into a thousand pieces
"Dustin my people, we find a partner and when we mate or make love, or have sex for the first time we form a bond. After the second time we are mated for life, until one of us dies. I had already given my bond to someone." Jackson said
"You mean Colin" I said
"Yes, to Colin" he confirmed
"Then why even be with me at all?" I asked
"Because you are needed, I was ordered..." Jackson suddenly fell silent and winced in pain. "We cannot tell you directly as we are forbidden from doing so, but someone needed to direct and guide you so I took the job."
"So what are you saying? That you're a magical creature of some sort in a human form" I said "and then what the hell am I?"
"In essence yes" Jackson said "and I'm not sure what I would call you."
"Are you a vampire?" I asked
"I hope for the love of god you haven't been watching those shitty twilight movies because they are a pile of shit. Vampires are not something you want to mess with...ever."
"Vampires are real!" I exclaimed
"Yes, and no I am not a vampire. As I can walk in the daylight, don't feed off blood etcera... etcera... ad nauseam" he said rolling his eyes
"I need time to think about this" I said
"Alright then" Jay sighed "But there is one last thing I wanted to tell you."
"What's that?" I asked
"Besides sticking my finger inside you, I pushed my magic into your mind to give you an illusion we were mating... What I am saying is that we have not had sex Dustin. I wanted you to know that I love you, and that I wanted your first time to be with someone who could give you the same love you have in return." Jackson said giving me a sad look.
I thought back to our love making and realized that I did not actually feel him inside me.
"But you said..." I began
"I said `I was all the way inside'... I meant into your mind, you can actually do the same thing, but there are many different levels of mind sharing. From brief glimpses, to memories, to fantasies" Jackson said
"So we didn't?" I asked
"No, though it does not make the pain of seeing me with Colin go away, or knowing I was intimate with you because I was ordered to be close to you." Jay explained and I agreed to a point. This whole fight with Ian was pointless because Jay didn't actually cheat.
That led me to another conclusion really fast.
"You staged this fight intentionally so I would be forced to use my magic" I said
"You're learning" Jay said giving me a soft smile "You've been through enough today, if you want to talk some more, just say my name" he said and I watched in horror and awe as Jay just suddenly seemed to disappear into the shadow of the door behind him, and was gone.