Hello all you happy people! At least i hope you are happy. Maybe you will be now that chapter 10 is finally here. :o) Sorry for the delay. Had too much going on. Hope you enjoy.
http://bleedinghearts.myfsb.com
Chapter 10
My mind stalled. Caitlin and I both stared dumbly at the bearer of bad news. Maybe I had heard wrong. "What did you say?" I asked.
"He's dead. Some chick just found him at the bottom of the pool. She jumped in and felt something around her ankles. She thought somebody was playing some sort if sick joke at first, but when he didn't come up...Somebody else jumped in and pulled him out but he was dead already. I think somebody called the cops. This parties busted." As he said this last part he was steadily backing away. With his last words, he spun around and joined the steady stream of guests who were exiting the premises as quickly as they could.
I looked at Caitlin, "Do you think he's serious?" I asked her.
"Listen," she said. I did and could hear sirens in the distance. I guess that answered my question. "Come on, let's go!" she said grabbing my arm.
"What? We can't just leave!" I protested but she was already dragging me into the street.
"Yes we can and yes we are. I don't want to be here when the cops arrive. We were out here under the tree the whole time so its not like we have anything to tell them. I've been through this before and trust me, it's not fun and it takes forever."
"You've been through this before?" I asked in alarm.
"Well not this exact thing, but I was at a party where this guy turned up dead in the river."
"Does someone always end up dead in the water at parties you attend?"
"No, just these two times. Where's your car?"
"Around the corner, why?"
"You're taking me home," she said. We ran to the car and pulled away just as two patrol cars pulled up lights flashing with an ambulance not far behind. My mind hadn't caught up with recent events but now suddenly the full impact of what I had just heard hit me. He had said Joey was dead. But that was impossible...I'd just seen him...he couldn't be dead. Maybe it was some sort of sick joke or maybe he was wrong and it was really someone else. Or maybe he wasn't dead, just really drunk. There was an ambulance so that had to be a good sign, right? Do they send ambulances for dead people?
"Where are you going?" Caitlin asked, startling me out of my thoughts. I had forgotten she was even in the car.
"Huh?"
"Where are you going? You don't even know where I live. We're going the wrong way."
"Oh...I..." I gave up trying to form a coherent sentence and turned the car around. I followed her directions to a small slightly run down apartment complex near the college.
"Thanks, Will," she said when I'd pulled to a stop in front of her building, "You're a sweet guy. Stop blaming yourself for the loser that Joey turned out to be. If it is him then he deserved whatever happened. I'll be in touch." She leaned over and kissed me quickly on the cheek and then she was gone.
I drove slowly home in a sort of numb trance. Twice I missed a turn and had to back up. When I finally got home Aidan was sitting up waiting. "Where were you? I was worried," he said accusingly as he jumped to his feet.
"I'm sorry," I said wearily.
"Your note said you were going to take pictures, it's been dark for hours."
"I'm sorry," I said again as I sank heavily into a chair.
"I didn't know where you were, if you were ok...if you were even alive..."
Something snapped inside me. "I said I'm sorry!" I screamed, "What more do you want from me?"
Aidan looked as if I had delivered him a physical blow, "Well excuse me for giving a damn. I guess I should know better by now." He spun around and started for his room.
"Aidan wait!" I called. He stopped but kept his back to me. "I went to talk to Joey. It...it didn't go well."
He turned around.
"He...he wanted me to..." I stopped and tried to swallow the bile that kept rising in the back of my throat, "He wanted me...to...suck him. Then he...I think he was going to rape me." I started crying but kept going; it was as if the words wouldn't stop coming, "He pinned me against the wall and tried to force himself on me. He hurt me, my arm...my lip..."
All the color had drained from Aidan's face. "Oh my God," he whispered.
"I hit him, pushed him away...then I ran."
Aidan crossed the room and knelt down in front of me. "Are you ok?" he asked gently tipping my face up so he could check for damage.
"I think he's dead," I choked.
Aidan's eyes flew open wide, "You killed him?"
"No, at least I don't think so. He was alive when I left him. We were talking when he died. Someone said they found him in the pool. I don't even know what happened. We left before the police got there."
"Who's we, Will?"
"Me and Caitlin."
"Caitlin?"
"I met her tonight. She used to date Joey. He...hurt her." I don't know why I didn't tell him about Caitlin's pregnancy; I just didn't feel it was the right time.
"Where is she now?"
"I took her home."
"Why did you leave before the police got there?"
"Caitlin wanted to. She said we didn't want to be around because it was an awful process that took a long time and we didn't have anything to add anyway because we were in the front yard under the tree for the whole time."
"Under the...? Never mind. How does she know it's an awful process?"
"She was at party last year when they found a body in the river. Someone had killed him and dumped him in the water. Do you think that's what happened to Joey?"
"I don't know what happened to Joey or even if anything did at this point. For all we know it could have been some kind of sick prank. And that party where the body was found in the river must have been the one that Killian and Asher were at." He looked down at his watch and jumped up to turn on the TV. The late news was just coming on.
"Details are few at this time," the female news anchor was saying, " but we have received confirmation that a college student died tonight at a party held off campus. No word yet on the cause of death or whether it was accidental or if foul play was involved. We'll keep you posted on developments in this sad case as events unfold."
She moved on to her next story, something about hog futures. Joey's death was just another story unrolling on the teleprompter in front of her. I sat stunned for a moment as Aidan snapped off the TV.
"Have you ever wondered what they mean by hog futures?" I said finally. "What kind of future does a hog have really? Ham or bacon? Sausage or scrapple?"
"Will, are you ok?" Aidan asked, quickly coming back to my side.
"We don't know for sure it was Joey...she didn't say his name," I said halfheartedly, like a child who believes that as long as you don't say it, it isn't true. But I knew in my gut that it was true, that Joey was gone. It was almost like a part of me was suddenly missing, leaving a gaping hole in its place.
"No, we don't know for sure," Aidan said softly, "You should go to bed. It's late and you need to rest.
I nodded, too far gone to argue. As I stood up I realized my arm was throbbing from my tussle with Joey. I took a few Tylenol PM that I found in the medicine cabinet then went into my room. I didn't turn any lights on; I just stood in the darkness for a few minutes. Suddenly a feeling of loneliness so powerful I almost cried out overwhelmed me. I turned and crossed the hall to Aidan's door, where I knocked lightly.
"Yeah?" he called warily.
I opened the door, "Can I...can I sleep with you tonight?" I felt like I sounded, like a small child at his parent's door after a nightmare.
"What do you mean?" Aidan said cautiously.
"Just...I'm afraid to be alone," I said shakily.
He thought for a moment, then nodded slowly, "Ok."
I closed the door behind me and undressed in the darkness. I crawled into Aidan's bed, being careful to stay on my side. We lay in silence with our backs to each other. I waited until I thought he had fallen asleep before letting go. The tears came hot but silent at first and slowly built into muffled sobs as I tried not to wake Aidan. I was surprised but very grateful when I felt his strong arms circle around me. Once again I found myself crying myself to sleep in his arms.
I got up early the next morning after a fitful night's sleep. I wanted to watch the early news to see if there was any mention of Joey. The College Co-Ed Death, as they were now calling it, was the lead story.
"As reported last night, a local college student died while attending an off-campus party. Police have now released the name; Joseph Taylor was an 18-year old freshman. His friends describe him as a fun-loving young man full of life. According to police reports, Taylor was found by another student in a swimming pool owned by the family of college senior, David Kemp. Kemp was hosting the party. Police say it's still too early to say conclusively how Taylor died but that they do believe alcohol was a factor.
"Is alcohol abuse on the rise on our local campuses? We go now to our..." I turned off the TV, cutting the anchorperson off in mid-sentence. Well at least now I knew for sure.
"I'm sorry, Will," Aidan said softly from behind me. I hadn't even noticed him there.
The empty feeling from the night before was still there but now it had eased into a dull ache. I didn't cry; I had done my mourning the night before.
"I...should call his mom or something..." I said.
"Not now, there'll be too much going on. Later, after things have settled down."
I nodded.
The phone rang and Aidan answered it, then handed me the phone.
It was Caitlin.
"Did you see the news?" she asked before I could say more than hello.
"Yes...are you ok?"
"I guess. It's not like I'm his chief mourner or anything. To me he was just some bastard that knocked me up then dumped me. I was calling to check on you. You were his friend."
"I'm...ok. Well...no I'm not ok, but I'll survive."
"Do you have someone with you?"
"Yes, my roommate..." I paused, then revised myself, "my best friend Aidan is here with me."
Aidan looked up with a strange expression in his eyes, a mix of surprise and some other emotion that I couldn't name. He looked back down quickly.
"Good, I'm glad. I didn't want you to be alone."
"Did you think about my offer?" I asked.
Aidan looked up again, this time with curiosity flashing in his eyes.
"Yes," Caitlin said, "but I'm still thinking. Don't rush me on this, Will. It's an important decision; one that could affect the rest of my life."
"It's not just your life at stake here," I responded quietly.
"God! How do you keep doing that?" she said with exasperation. I didn't say anything as she went on, "Look, I'll call you next week. I've got plenty of time to decide. You can safely abort any time in the first trimester and it's no big deal. I'm only about a month along as I figure it."
"No big deal for you maybe."
"Stop that!"
"I'm just trying to make sure you see both sides. I'm trying to speak for the one who has no voice."
"You're just making this harder!" she sounded close to tears.
"Good. A life and death decision shouldn't be easy."
She sighed, "Good-bye, Will."
"Bye, Caitlin. I'll talk to you next week."
As soon as I hung up Aidan was all over me. "What was that all about?" he demanded.
"You shouldn't have been eavesdropping," I said defensively.
"You saw me sitting right there. Besides, you just said I'm your best friend. Best friends tell each other everything."
I sighed, "Caitlin is pregnant and she's thinking about getting an abortion."
"And that concerns you how?"
"The baby is Joey's."
Aidan blinked in surprise then quickly recovered, "I repeat, and that concerns you how?"
"I feel responsible somehow. I know it's ridiculous," I rushed on to drown out the protest that was already forming on Aidan's lips, "but I can't help it. Besides, I really like Caitlin. She seems like a good person. I want to help her." I paused for a moment, then said the next part super fast, "I told her I'd help her raise the baby if she wouldn't have an abortion."
"YOU WHAT?"
"Shhhh!" I hushed him.
"Don't you shush me! Have you lost your fucking mind? You don't know anything about babies! You have no obligation to this person; you can not get yourself involved."
"I'm already involved. Look, Joey would have never gone on this...this... whatever it was...this alcohol induced sex binge if it hadn't been for me. Don't you see that? Now there is a little helpless life that is a part of Joey. That baby didn't ask to be created. Why should it have to pay for my mistake?"
"Will, you've got to talk to Dr. Wohler again. This guilt trip you are on is so not even valid it's not funny. You cannot be responsible for someone else's actions. I had to realize that when you tried to kill yourself. At first I blamed myself, but I had to realize that I didn't make you jump off that fire escape - just like you didn't make Joey become a drunk. That was his choice. You didn't make Joey have unprotected sex with Caitlin - that was their decision. You are not responsible for any of this."
"I've already given my word to Caitlin and I'm not breaking my promise."
"You didn't have any problem breaking that when you took a flying leap off the balcony!"
I froze.
"Will, I'm sorry..."
"You said you forgave me for that."
"Forgiven but not forgotten...remember?"
"Well I'm not breaking it anymore."
Aidan sighed. "You're serious about this aren't you? There's no changing your mind."
"Yes, I'm serious and no I'm not changing my mind."
Another sigh, "Ok then, I'll support you in any way I can."
"What?" His sudden about face caught me off-guard.
"Hey, what are best friends for?" he said with just a hint of a smile.
"Scratching backs?" I said hopefully. The hint of a smile turned into a full-fledged Aidan Special Grin, complete with dimples.
"Coming right up!"
I called Joey's mom that afternoon. She asked me to come over. I wasn't something I was looking forward to but I knew it was something I had to do. I drove over by myself, after convincing Aidan that I was fine going alone.
She was seated on the couch when I got there, between two family members I didn't know. For as close of friends as Joey and I had been I realized I really didn't know any of his family. He never talked about them. I knew his mom of course, and I knew his dad had run off when Joey was two or three, but that was it. I was introduced as Joey's oldest and dearest friends. They turned out to be Joey's aunts. The one on the left looked like a hungry bulldog and the one on the right looked like a scared chicken. Joey's mom, who I had always thought looked much too young to be a mother of someone Joey's age, suddenly looked old. I thought it might be because she wasn't wearing any make-up. She looked vulnerable without it. I felt very uncomfortable.
Mrs. Taylor grabbed my hand and held onto it like it was a lifeline and she was drowning. Which maybe in a way she was.
"When they called me last night...I just couldn't believe it," she said, her eyes filling with unshed tears. They were red and swollen as if she'd been crying a lot. "I kept saying that they must be wrong; that it couldn't be my Joey. But then I had to go identify him. They called him 'the body.' 'Come identify the body,' they said. I said, he's not just a body, he's my son." She almost seemed to be talking to herself. "It was Joey..." She broke off in a muffled sob but choked it down and continued, "Thank you for being such a good friend to my Joey." She dissolved in sobs, still clutching my hand while I shifted uncomfortably wishing I were anywhere but here.
I stayed for what I thought was a decent amount of time and then made my excuses and headed for the door.
"Will?" Mrs. Taylor called just before I escaped, "You weren't at that party last night were you?"
I felt my heart drop. "Well, actually I was, Mrs. Taylor, but just for a few minutes. I didn't stay."
She seemed surprised. "Then I think the police are looking for you."
"Wha?" I gasped.
"They described you and asked if I knew anyone who fit that description. I told them you did but they said you weren't on the list of people present when they arrived. Several people said they saw someone fitting your description go upstairs with Joey and come back down in a rush. They said you might be the last person who saw him alive."
"I...I left before...he was alive when I left..." I stammered.
She nodded as if it was what she had expected to hear. "I told them you were a good boy. Tell me, Will, how was he?"
What could I say? "Honestly, Mrs. Taylor...he wasn't very good. He was drunk. He wasn't himself."
She started to cry again.
"I'm so sorry," I said helplessly, "I'm going to miss him very much."
I turned to leave once more but she called out again. "Was he wearing his necklace?"
I knew immediately which necklace she meant. I had never seen Joey without it. It was a silver chain with a small oval depicting a saint of some sort hanging from it. It had been the only thing left behind of his father's, who had been a devout Catholic. Joey cherished more than any other possession he owned. As far as know the only time Joey had ever been inside a church was when he was baptized as an infant, but he never took that necklace off. I tried to remember if I had seen the necklace or not. It was so much a part of him I just took it for granted that he had been wearing it, but now I tried to recall if I had actually seen it or not. I mentally walked though the painful encounter with Joey until I found what I was looking for.
"Yes, he was," I said, 'Why?"
"It wasn't on him when they found him. I would have liked to have had it."
I finally managed to slip out of the oppressive home which already felt empty without Joey, leaving his mother to her grief. I drove home slowly while silent tears left their tracks on my cheeks.