Here's chapter 3. Enjoy! Lemme know what you think. Oh, by the way, i gave you all a break...no cliff hanger this time. :o)
www.familyshoebox.com/family/bleedinghearts
Chapter 3
Aidan went back to his room and came back out a minute later with a small, framed photo, which he handed to me. I looked down and felt my mouth drop open.
"That's Asher!" I gasped.
"You know Asher?" Aidan said in surprise.
"You know Asher?" I repeated in equal surprise.
"He's dating my cousin, Killian!"
"Asher's my cousin!" I was dumbfounded.
"Whoa! What are the chances? That's freaky."
"No kidding. I didn't even know Asher is gay."
"You didn't? He's not like a closet case or anything; he's really open about it. Their whole school knows. I can't believe you didn't see it on TV."
"TV? Why would it be on TV? Do they televise coming out parties now? Is there a GAY TV - All Gay All Day?"
Aidan laughed, "Not that I know of, although it wouldn't surprise me. You don't recognize Killian?"
"Should I?" I asked as I took a closer look at the photo. At first glance all I had been able to see was Asher and as Aidan had already said, there was a strong family resemblance between Asher and I. We both had inherited that same curly dark-brown, almost black hair and fair skin that blushes too easily. And we both have those same eternally rosy cheeks that Asher had once told me made him feel like one of Raphael's angels. Now that I looked again I realized that there were two other people in the picture posing in front of a Christmas tree. Aidan was one of them and the other one I assumed to be Killian. He had lightly curling blonde hair and was very cute. It was hard to tell in the picture but it looked like he might have eyes almost as blue as mine. I looked closely but I still didn't recognize him.
"I don't think I know him."
"To hear him and Asher tell it you'd think he was some kind of minor celebrity around here. He caught some serial killer and saved some people's lives last year."
"Oh, wait - that was that crazy guy who was killing all the kids? Now I remember, didn't he kill the guy?"
"Yeah, he was on the national news and was like some kind of hero or something."
"I remember now, but I didn't know Asher was involved."
"Involved? He was almost killed. Man, you guys don't talk much do you?"
"Actually, no. My dad and Asher's mom are brother and sister but they were never particularly close so I only really see them on big holidays and at family reunions. Besides, I'm probably not the first person Asher would rush to tell that he's gay."
"Why's that?"
"My dad's a preacher and a pretty conservative one at that. Asher and I used to be pretty tight when we were little, but Dad can be kind of overbearing at times so we're not the most popular branch of the family."
"Oh, does this have something to do with the problem you mentioned earlier?"
"No...well, yeah, I guess it does in a way."
"Is it going to cause more problems for you to live with me?"
"Not as far as I'm concerned. Now as for my dad...well, what he doesn't know won't hurt me, right?"
Aidan grinned, "Gotcha! So tell me some more about you, any brothers or sisters? What do you do? How come your not in school like Laura and Joey?"
"Whoa, slow down!" I laughed, "I can only answer one question at a time. I'm an only child, a spoiled brat if you listen to Laura and Joey. I work at the church as I guess what you'd call a secretary but I really do just about anything and everything that you can imagine. And before you ask, no, it's not what I want to do with the rest of my life. That's the thing: I don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life. I know my dad wants me to be involved with the church but I don't know what I want. That's the main reason I haven't gone to college. I decided to wait a year and hopefully I'll figure something out between now and then."
"What about a girlfriend? Didn't Joey mention you had a girlfriend? Becky or something?"
"Beth and we broke up. That was part of the reason I was having such a bad day last Saturday."
"So you were heartbroken?"
"Not exactly?"
"So you broke up with her?
"No, she broke up with me."
"I see said the blind man."
I laughed. "It's complicated. It's just as well that she broke it off; I would have just let things drag on forever. At least now it's over and done with. See, I didn't feel the same way for her as she apparently felt for me. She wanted more from me than I felt like I could give her and I don't think I ever would have been able to. It's hard to explain. There just wasn't...it wasn't...I just didn't feel anything with Beth."
"I understand what you're saying. I went through the same thing." He seemed to realize what he was saying at the same time I did. He rushed on, "Not that it means anything as far as, you know, you or anything. I was just saying that for me..." He trailed off into an uncomfortable silence. I rushed to fill it.
"So tell me about you," I didn't want to lose our growing rapport, but I did want to get the attention off of me. This seemed like a safe enough topic.
"Well, I come from a pretty big family. There're six of us altogether and I'm the oldest. My dad died three years ago from cancer so it's just been our mom and us since then."
"I'm sorry."
"Yeah, well, it was rough; especially at first. My mom had to go back to work and I had to help a lot with my brothers and sister. I have one sister who is two years younger than me so she helped too, but with four boys under 12 it was still a lot of work. Then, last year, my Aunt Meg moved in with us and that freed me up to be able to go to college. That was about the same time I started realizing I was gay so when things got ugly up there I was able to just pick up and transfer down here. Like I said though, Aunt Meg was a huge support for me when I was coming out. I don't think I could have made it without her. She's Killian's mom."
"So are you planning on coming out down here?"
"Eventually, when I'm ready. Not right now. I'd rather people got to know me for who I am rather than through a preconception of what a stereotypical gay guy is supposed to be like. Not that I'm lying, either though. If someone comes right out and asks me I'll be honest."
I nodded. I was ashamed to admit how relieved I was. "What are you majoring in?"
"I just changed my major to psychology so we'll see how that goes. I was doing criminal justice and some psych courses are part of that and I really found them interesting so I switched over."
"I'm confused about something."
"What's that?"
"Well, earlier you said that your mom had to go back to work to support the family but - I don't mean to be rude - I was under the impression that money wasn't an object. I mean with the rent and all this..." I trailed off as I gestured around the apartment.
"Yeah, I guess that would be confusing. If it was up to my mom and me to pay for my college I'd be living at home and going to a local school still. But thank God for rich relatives," he laughed, "My grandmother on Dad's side is stinking loaded. We only see her once a year at Christmas cuz she lives in Belgium or something like that. Dad was her only son and we're her only grandchildren so she is paying for all of us to go to college. She has trust funds set up in case she kicks the bucket."
"Must be nice!"
"Yeah I guess it is now that you mention it. It's funny the things you take for granted. I don't even think about. It's just something I've always known. God knows she reminds of it every time we see her."
"You don't sound like you like her very much."
He thought for a moment, then slowly said, "I'm grateful to her for what she's doing for me. I mean I wouldn't be here if it weren't for her, but I always get the impression that she does it out of a sense of duty rather than any real affection. So no, I don't really like her. She's always treated us like the poor relatives. I guess Dad was kind of a disappointment becoming a professor at a small college instead of some jet-setting socialite. You know she didn't even come to Dad's funeral? She just sent flowers. Can you believe that?"
"No. Even with my family's strained relations I think we'd still show up for a family member's funeral."
"You'd think. My dad was like her in a lot of ways, except he didn't have the money to throw around. He was always distant, as if he didn't know how to show affection. I don't know what his dad was like. He never talked about him and he was dead long before I was born. My mom was very affectionate though, so I guess that made up for it."
"My family's always been pretty affectionate." I looked down at the photo I was still holding and noticed that Asher and Killian were holding hands. "They look really happy together," I said almost without thought. I was surprised to hear a wistful note in my voice.
"They are," Aidan said matter-of-factly. Either he hadn't noticed my tone of voice or had chosen to ignore it. Either way I was grateful. "I've never seen any two people be more completely in love. Hey, I have an idea! Why don't we invite them over this weekend? I promised them I would once I got settled in and now that you're here its even better!"
"Sounds good! But don't tell them that who your new roommate is, I want to surprise Asher."
Aidan laughed, "I love it! I'll call them now."
He flipped through an address book he kept by the phone and dialed the phone. After a brief conversation he hung up and turned towards me, a huge smile lighting up his face. "It's all set. Asher was there, as usual, so they talked it over and got permission. They're coming over tomorrow night around 6 and spending the night."
"Cool! Our first slumber party!"
We both laughed as I thought how much I was going to enjoy living here.
The next day passed by in a flurry of activity as Aidan and I actually went about setting up house. For two guys on their own for the first time we had a surprising amount of stuff. Most of mine consisted of my art supplies and most of Aidan's was either hi-fi or weight equipment. The weights at least explained Aidan's physique, which was nicely toned to say the least.
We set aside a large section of the living room closest to the huge windows to be my studio. We set up Aidan's in home gym next to me so we could talk while I painted and he worked out. Setting up all my crap just the way I wanted it took up a large chunk of the afternoon, but Aidan seemed content to watch me while he did sit-ups, push-up and reps or whatever you call them. I'm not really up on my exercise lingo since as Garfield once said; my idea of exercise is a good brisk sit. Actually I like to roller blade too but that just about sums up the extent of my physical exertion.
Aidan seemed fascinated by all my paraphernalia, occasionally asking what something was and what I did with it. The last thing I pulled out of its protective cover was the painting I had completed last Saturday night. I was very self-conscious about my artwork; for the most part only Joey and Laura had seen much of my work. My parents had seen some, enough to know I had talent, so they'd sent me to a few art classes when I was younger. They seemed to think of my interest in art as a phase that I would outgrow like my rock collection or my chemistry set.
"You did that?" Aidan exclaimed when I pulled out the tentatively titled "Self-portrait in Darkness."
"Yeah," I said shyly, "You didn't think all this was just for show did you?"
"No, but...I mean that's really good, Will. You're really talented."
I felt a blush begin to creep up my neck. "Thanks," I mumbled.
"You just do this as a hobby?"
"Yeah."
"Have you ever sold anything?"
"Are you kidding? I'm not good enough to sell this stuff. I've not even had an art class on painting."
"Who says you have to have art classes? Haven't you ever heard of natural talent? If your other stuff is this good then you're a heck of a lot better than a lot of people I've seen showing in galleries. This kind of reminds me of Wyeth's style."
"Wyeth is my favorite living artist! You know art?"
"Some, but I'm from PA remember? That's Wyeth's stomping ground. Besides, like I was telling you last night, my dad was a bit of a snob. He made sure us kids were exposed to 'culture.' Most of the stuff he dragged us to see was modern crap that looked like something my youngest brother did the day before in Pre-K. Or worse, one time he took us to see a toilet. I'm not kidding. It was just a regular toilet that the guy had bought at your average hardware store and stuck in the middle of the museum. And it was art. What a joke. But some of the stuff I fell in love with; the old Masters and artist's like Wyeth."
"At least you had the opportunity to see that stuff. The Eastern Shore's idea of culture is the Delmarva Chicken Festival. I envy you for that."
"Well, I envy you for your talent. I love art but I can't even draw a straight line."
"I guess that makes us even then, huh? We can agree to envy each other."
Aidan laughed then asked, "Do you have any more paintings here?"
"Um...I think I left most of them at home...well, Mom and Dad's because I didn't know what I'd do with them here."
"Next time you go by there, pick them up; I'd really like to see them."
I felt a blush coming on again. I really hated having both fair skin and a predisposition to blushing.
"You don't like getting compliments or talking about yourself do you?" Aidan asked, noticing my discomfort.
"No, not really. It makes me uncomfortable."
"Why?"
"I dunno. I guess I feel like I don't deserve the compliments, like they aren't true."
"But you have to know how talented you are," he persisted.
"You're just saying that to be nice. I mean what else could you say, man, Will, that sucks?"
"I wouldn't say I liked it if I didn't. First thing you need to know about me is I'm always straight...well, bad choice of words but you know what I mean."
I laughed as he grinned at me.
"Just accept the compliments for what they are and say thank you," he went on.
"That's easy for you to say, you're confident and out-going."
"And you have low self-esteem."
"Thank you for your diagnosis Dr. Scott, but I could have told you that."
"Why do you think you have low self-esteem? I mean you're cute, talented, funny..."
"Do you think we could continue this session at another time," I interrupted loudly as I felt my face blaze with color. "Killian and Asher will be here in an hour and we still have shit all over the place."
"Hmm...aggression, change of subject...the subject is exhibiting signs of classic avoidance," he said in a phony Freudian accent.
"I'll show you avoidance," I growled playfully as I tackled him. We rolled into a laughing heap on the floor where we wrestled for several minutes. I wrestled with Joey all the time but I was no match for Aidan; he had me outweighed and out-muscled. There was really no contest, but I suspected that he was giving me a lot more opening than I would have never gotten if this were a serious fight.
We were so caught up in our game that we didn't even hear the knocking or the door swinging open. The first we knew of our visitors was when someone called, "Hello? Aidan?"
Aidan let go of me so quickly that my head bounced off the hardwood floor. "Ugh," I grunted and lay still while the stars stopped spinning. Aidan scrambled to his feet above me. His shirt was pulled halfway over his head and he hastily pulled it back into place. For the first time I saw him blush for a change. I heard giggles from the door but from my spot on the floor I couldn't see who it was.
"Are we interrupting something?" the same voice asked.
"No, I mean...uh...we were just playing around." Aidan stammered. It was the first time I had seen him really flustered and I was definitely enjoying seeing the usually unflappable Aidan come unflapped. Uncharacteristically, I decided to push things a little farther. I ran my hand up his leg to his thigh. Aidan yelled and danced away to a safer distance and glared at me.
"We have guests, darling," he said deliberately, then turned back towards the door, "Come on in, Asher and Killian."
At the mention of Asher's name I sat bolt upright. Asher's mouth dropped open and a very satisfied grin spread across Aidan's face. The boy I assumed to be Killian just looked confused as he looked from Aidan to Asher to me. His eyes grew wide as he looked back and forth from me to Asher.
"Will?" Asher gasped.
"Uh, hi Asher. Long time no see, cuz," I said as I turned what I could only guess to be approximately the same color as a stop sign.
"Cuz? As in cousin?" Killian asked, his blue eyes bright with amusement. I had to say one thing for Asher; he had good taste in his men.
"Yeah, this is my cousin, Will. What are you doing here?" he asked me.
"I live here."
"You're Aidan's roommate?" Killian asked.
"Yup."
He looked from me to Aidan, "And you two are..."
"No!" I gasped. Aidan started laughing.
"But when we walked in you two were..."
"We were wrestling! That's all. Right, Aidan?"
He laughed for another minute before he managed to choke out, "That's what I tried to tell them from the beginning, before you decided to feel me up"
"I didn't...I was just...I'm not..." I sputtered.
Aidan was bent double laughing while Killian and Asher still stood uncertainly in the doorway. Aidan waved them in as I pulled myself up off the floor and attempted to salvage what little dignity I still had left.
"You should have seen your face!" Aidan crowed.
I chose to ignore him, "Just put your stuff over here by the wall for now," I said playing the host, "The couch opens up into a bed so you can share that. Sorry about all the boxes, we weren't expecting you to be here this early."
"Obviously," Killian said with a grin. "We'll help you clean up."
Aidan managed to stop laughing in time to help straighten up the living room and carry the empty boxes out to the dumpster. By the time we were done Killian had visibly relaxed, but Asher still seemed tense. Then I remembered that Asher didn't know that I knew he was gay. He must have been worried about what I would think if I figured it out. As soon as I saw a chance to speak to him privately I sat down next to him. Killian and Aidan were busy hooking up my N-64, arguing about which wire connected where.
"Asher," I said quietly, "I know about you and Killian and it's ok. I'm cool with it."
Relief flooded his eyes, "What about Uncle Lowell?
"Dad doesn't know and he won't find out from me," I assured him. " I just found out last night. While we're on the subject, Dad doesn't know that Aidan is gay either, and I'd like to keep it that way."
"Well, you don't have to worry about me telling him. It's not like I talk to him anyway. No offense but I usually try to avoid Uncle Lowell at family reunions. I always feel guilty around him. Not for anything in particular...just guilty in general."
I laughed, "Yeah, he does have that affect on people."
Killian wandered over and peered closely at both of us.
"Quit that!" Asher said.
"It's just that you guys look so much alike it's freaky. The only difference is that Will's eyes are blue."
"Stand up," I ordered Asher as I stood up myself. He complied and Killian laughed.
"Ok, so there's also about 6 inches of difference."
"Seven," Asher said smugly, "I grew an inch." I stuck my tongue out at him showing that what I lacked in height I made up for in maturity.
"I didn't think anyone could be cuter than you Ashke, but I think you might have some competition with Will on the scene."
Once again, I blushed as Asher punched Killian in the arm. Then he punched me in mine.
"Hey! What did I do?" I yelled.
"I dunno but I'm sure you deserved it for some reason."
"The 64's hooked up," Aidan called and Asher darted to his side. He's a video game addict. I turned to Killian.
"You just called Asher Ashke. Is that just a nickname or are you a Mercedes Lackey fan too?"
"You know Mercedes Lackey?"
"Oh yeah, we had coffee just last week."
"You know what I meant, you've read her books?"
"Yeah, she's one of my favorites authors."
"Me too! I just discovered her a few months ago but I think I've read everything she's written. I started calling Asher Ashke after reading I read the Last Herald Mage Trilogy - the ones with Vanyel?"
"I've read them."
"Wow that's cool."
"What's cool?" Aidan yelled from his spot in front of the TV.
"None of your business, Mr. Nosy!" I called back.
"How about me? Will you tell me?" Asher piped up.
"Yeah, I'll tell you. Killian and I are both Mercedes Lackey fans."
"You'll tell him but not me?" Aidan pretended to pout.
"He's family," I shot back.
"Aidan's my family," Killian said protectively.
"Not another Lackey fan," Asher moaned over the friendly banter.
"What's wrong with Mercedes Lackey?" Aidan said defensively.
"Not you too?"
"You really don't like here?" I asked.
"She's ok, I just didn't get as excited about her as Killian. I like mysteries better than fantasy."
"Did you read many of them?" I persisted.
"No, he only read one!" Killian inserted indignantly.
"You didn't give them a chance," Aidan said, "There's mystery, action, romance...everything you want in a good book."
"Geez, what is this; a meeting of the official Mercedes Lackey Fan Club?"
"She has one you know," I pointed out and we all laughed.
The playful bickering went on all night. It was as if we'd all been friends forever. We played Clue and a marathon game of Monopoly that Killian eventually won in the wee hours of the morning. Asher was looking very droopy by then and I knew I was tired so I suggested we all hit the sack. Aidan and I helped Asher and Killian make up the sofa bed then we retired to our respective rooms.
Maybe change doesn't have to be so bad after all, I thought as I undressed. Who needs Joey and Laura when you have friends like Aidan, Asher and Killian?