Thursday 5 June 2008
Today in History: It's another biggie -- assassination of Robert Kennedy, Declaration of War on the Iron Curtain states by the US, Elvis terrifying everyone with pelvic thrusts doing Hound Dog live on tv, the start of the 6-Day War, first ever reports of what turned out to be AIDS, That Guy stops the tanks in Tiananmen Square, the Bose-Einstein condensate is first made, the first journey of the Orient Express, the British capture Pretoria during the Boer War. Gosh. Quite the list!
So... something strange is happening. I'll have to do some more detectivating to work out what is going on and hope I get it right this time -- for some unknown reason, Al sent me something unexpected by text last night. No idea why; it was an error and was meant to go to someone else, but I have no idea who. I've played chivalrous and dumb, though -- he texted again like half an hour later saying "fck SOOOOOO sry pls 4gt lst txt mbrrssd xpln l8r kept 2self v long story!" in true unpunctuated Al form, but I wrote back saying "What text? Didn't get anything" even though I did.
I got a picture. Of Al's c0ck. At full mast.
It was a stomach and below shot, no face, pretty grainy. Not sure cellphone cameras are ever going to get very good at this, if I'm honest, or ever be a reasonable substitute for actual cameras, given how image quality isn't yet brilliant and they've been a thing in phones since like 5 years ago already, but no doubt about it -- it's definitely a dude with his dick out. I've not seen Al naked since we were kids and were getting changed for swimming when we were probably like 10 or something, but I've been in his room often enough to recognise it and so I know the pic was taken there. And thus I'm assuming it's him and his dick in the pic... unless Al also has something pretty big he needs to tell us once he's found the courage to, that is, and that would be a huge surprise to me. I have a shit gaydar, but I'm sure by now as a member of the tribe I'd have worked it out if he was too. Of course I couldn't write back and say that; discretion, valour etc. Guessing he thinks he got away with it, but no idea who it was intended for since his response indicates it clearly wasn't supposed to come to me.
It's also bigger than I would have imagined, like it has some proper heft to it. If it was detachable the cops could probably use it as a particularly hairy baton, and that is also something of a surprise. I may have mentioned I have no idea what my friends' dicks look like in the modern era. We didn't shower after Phys Ed at high school, and we've never been brazen enough to do things like a group wank or anything similar since we hit puberty, so... until last night, I couldn't tell you who has what inside their little trunks. That's about the only thing I do know, we all wear trunks for the most part under our pants, but what's inside those remains a mystery. I know we've all been naked among each other before historically -- I've known these guys for more than a decade, and we've got changed at someone's house to go swimming for sure when we were kids, and you don't care who sees you naked as long as it's not a girl -- but that was before anyone was paying attention. Who knows what they grew into, and what their grooming routines are? I've never really thought about it, believe it or not, even after I suddenly turned homo when I was like 15 and a bit. They're the brothers I never had, I've never had sexual thoughts about or crushed on my crew. I'm not sure if that's common for the gay experience or not.
I'm not sure who Al is sending dick pics to, but I am intrigued on several levels. It's kinda weird, isn't it? Just like, boom! sending pictures of your penis to people? Was this the #1 item on everyone's to-do list once digital cameras became a thing in the late 90s? Was it the same with Polaroid cameras? Taking risqué pics of your partner, sure, but... of yourself, to send to people? It's all a bit of a head-scratcher to me.
Maths is over, for now. I think it went okay. Thanks, Mr G, I do not want to have to do that again if I don't have to. I mean I knew it would be a step up from high-school maths, and that was already an ask, but fuck me backwards with a broomstick, this was really not much fun.
I suppose I should now admit I have not yet deleted the pic, for reasons I cannot adequately explain. More as it happens.
-C