Reformation

The Reformation 22

t h e  R E F O R M A T I O N

Chapter 22

LEGAL DISCLAIMERS:

If you are under 18 or not of legal age in your country, please don't read on. If  you couldn't accept themes in the likes of homosexuality, please don't read on. This is a story concerning gay males having intimate relationships and is considered FOR ADULTS ONLY due to its sexual theme and contents. BUT if you really like this stuff, please don't tell others. 

Everything in this story is purely FICTIONAL. Or it's not true!!! Even if this story involved the Backstreet Boys, NSYNC and a fictitious character, all that happens here is fictional... again, it's not true. I don't know anything about their sexuality, as far as the world knows, they're straight as an arrow so I dunno if they're gay (but I do have my speculations) or not but I wrote this out of freedom of speech and my love for these guys and slash fiction. I don't own or know the Backstreet Boys and NSYNC personally. I do know that Brian Littrell is married with Leighanne Wallace (rolls my eyes), and Justin Timberlake is attached to Britney Spears, so let's just assume that the aforementioned relationships doesn't exist. AGAIN, it's NOT TRUE!!! but don't we all hope that it's true... hehehehe...

EMAIL ME!!! pseud0nym@edsamail.com.ph

Once I woke up the next day, I called Kevin knowing that he would be the one who is already awake at 8:00am. "Kevin?" I said on the phone.

"Marty? Where are you? Nick said that he called you and you were still in the hotel but we're all worried sick coz you weren't answering your cell phone." Kevin answered with a tinge of worry in his voice. Didn't Brian say anything to them? I mean I left a letter telling everything.

"Um, sorry if I made y'all worry but I forgot my cell phone in my bag and I left a letter with Brian stating that I'll be okay but I just need to be alone for awhile to think." I told Kevin. I dunno why but when I want to think, I don't wanna be disturbed by anyone. But I am not alone coz my lil brother is here. "How's everyone there?"

"Everything is fine except that we are all worried about you. We didn't know where you are and Brian was no help." Kevin said and I sensed that his voice shifted when it came to the Brian part.

"Is he okay?" I inquired. Well, I do still love Brian even though he could be so, um, stubborn (?), sometimes.

"I don't know if you'll be happy or not but he wasn't sad or he wasn't just showing it. We even offered him to stay with one of us for company for the night but he declined saying that he's just fine." Kevin said to me but I know that there's something more behind it.

"Please be honest to me Kev." I told Kevin.

"I don't wanna hurt you, Marty. For me, you're part of the family now." Kevin sighed. "But I guess you deserve to know it. Well, he said that you can fuck off if you want coz he doesn't need you." Kevin said hesitantly. When those words escaped Kevin's mouth, all I can do was wince from the pain that those words were inflicting me.

"Okay." I tried to hide my quivering voice. "I'll just see you on the next venue."

"You won't be coming with us in the bus?" Kevin asked me.

"Kevin, I think it's for the best. I don't think I can face Brian right now. Maybe some time in the future but I just can't right now." I said to Kevin.

"I'll just relay it to the other guys so they won't get worry. And I insist that I pay for your fare going to the next venue." Kevin said to me.

"No you won't. I already paid for my ticket. I've planned this since last night but thanks for the offer." I lied to Kevin. It would be just imposing too much if I asked him to pay for my airfare and I do have Alex to think about. "Bye Kev." I said.

"Okay, bye." Kevin said.

I rubbed my temples because of the pressure building in my head from all the things that have been happening. I can't believe that Brian said those words. I know that Kevin won't lie to me; he might cover up something but not completely lie to me. "You okay?" A voice asked me from behind.

"Yeah." I said with a fake smile. "I'll just call the front desk for room service so we can have breakfast." I told Alex and he just nodded at me.

The two of us shared a quiet breakfast. I wasn't in the mood of talking and I think he knows that I have a problem but he's not pushing it. It's one of the things that I like about Alex, he gives you the space you need to sort out everything that you're thinking of and when you're ready, he's just there ready to help.

"We'll be moving to the next venue for today but we won't come with the Backstreet entourage." I told Alex. Again, he just nodded at me. 

My mobile phone began to ring and when I looked at the caller ID, it was Justin. "Hi Juju." I answered the phone. Alex looked at me curiously and I mouthed 'Justin'. His eyes went wide and I know that he wanted to scream or something.

"Thank God you answered your phone! Are you okay?" Justin asked worriedly.

"As good as it gets." I said.

"When Nick told me that you were not with Brian last night, I was really panicking coz I don't know where you were. I mean I called Rich and said that you talked earlier but you weren't back there. And no one was answering your mobile phone." Justin rambled.

"Well, I'm alright and I'm still in the hotel that we were staying in so I didn't really leave but just relocated my position. I just need to be away from Brian." I told Justin.

"And when I see Brian, I'm gonna kill him." I can here the anger in his voice and JC's voice saying 'yeah' wasn't the words I wanted to hear. Like I said, I still love Brian very deeply.

"Don't." I simply stated.

"What do you mean don't? He's an insensitive prick!" Justin countered.

"I still love him." I voiced out. Justin just sighed. I could hear some shuffling in Justin's side so I guess it's JC.

"Are you really okay?" Josh asked me.

"I'm not saying that I'm completely okay but I'm holding everything up; maybe a little tensed." I said truthfully.

"You've gotta talk this out or it's gonna eat you out." JC advised.

"When I'm ready to talk about everything, I will and stop worrying about me. I'm gonna be okay." I told JC. "And tell that to Justin and Nick as well."

"Marty, we all love you and I think that's enough reason to make us worry about you. You're already part of our lives; a big part of our lives." JC said to me. I just hope that Brian does still love me.

"Thanks. I'm going now, I still have to be ready so we can go to the next venue." I said to Josh.

"Marty, if you need anyone, we are always here okay?" JC said to me. We bid farewell to one another and hung up the phone.

"You've got amazing friends there." Alex stated the obvious. I just smiled at him knowing that he was right. I do have amazing friends.

I knew that the Boys won't be leaving the hotel til later so I decided to leave earlier to not have a confrontation with them. I left Kevin a message at the front desk to tell him that I went ahead to the next venue and I'll get a new room as well so they will not worry about me. These guys are such big worriers.

The two of us reached the next venue a little past 2:00pm. I asked Alex if he wanted his own room but he declined and wanted to room with me. "The guys won't have a concert today so we all have rest time. You wanna go tomorrow to their concert?" I asked Alex.

"Definitely." Alex quickly answered. 

The two of us napped for a few hours until my cell phone ringing interrupted me. When I looked at the Caller ID, it read that it was Kevin. "Hi Kev." I said groggily.

"You're already there?" Kevin asked.

"Yeah, just taking a nap here." I answered.

"Sorry for disturbing you. But do you wanna join us for dinner or something?" Kevin asked me.

"Thanks for the offer but no. I'll just call some room service here." I told Kevin. I guess I'm still afraid of confronting Brian. 

"Okay, I'll just see you tomorrow." Kevin sighed. I told him not to worry and to tell the others that as well and then we said ended our call. 

Is it really the end of my relationship with Brian? I just don't understand why this was so abrupt. I mean there weren't any visible problems for the past few days except yesterday when I confronted him. Is there something going on that I don't know? Well, I think I don't know Brian anymore after yesterday.

I wasn't sleepy anymore so I decided to work on a track that I made a few days back. I brought out my keyboard and attached it to my laptop. I looked at Alex and he was still sleeping like an angel. I never noticed that we looked so similar. Same hair, eyes, even our nose was pretty much the same. I smiled at that thought.

I used my earphones so there won't be any noise that would disturb Alex's sleep. I know that he's a little sad that Mom and Dad are away now and there's nothing we can do about it now but to just move on. He's just 18.

I don't know how long I was working but I've finished almost everything except the vocals in it. I guess it's a sad song that I wrote but I guess it reflects what I was thinking. "Can I hear it?" Alex said to me startling me.

"Sure, it's finished now." I said to him. I played the song and he listened to it.

I was trying to read his face if the song was good or not but he has his eyes closed. Once the song ended, he looked at me and gave me a hug. "It's very sad and haunting." Alex said. "Talk to me when you're ready." He added.

"Can you sing it for me? I don't think I can." I asked Alex. 

Alex smiled at me and nodded. I handed him the lyrics sheet and he skimmed it first trying to sort out everything. "Ready?" Alex said after awhile. I played the song and his soulful voice sang it.

I was lost before I met you
Didn't know where to go
You came to me
And gave me 
The direction I must follow

_You were the soul of my life
The guiding star in the night
Giving me the joy 
I wanted for the rest of my life
You were the air in my world
The one I loved the most
Just tell me
Why did it have to end
Coz I know that we had
the perfect love of all
_
You brought the smile in my face
My hope in my life
I love you
And you loved me
We were happy together

_You were the soul of my life
The guiding star in the night
Giving me the joy 
I wanted for the rest of my life
You were the air in my world
The one I loved the most
Just tell me
Why did it have to end
Coz I know that we had
the perfect love of all
_
Just tell me
Why did it have to end
Coz I know that we had
the perfect love of all

Good thing I pressed 'record' in my laptop because Alex gave a very good interpretation of the song. "I'll just burn it to a CD and then I'm gonna give it to Kevin so they can use this." I said to Alex rummaging for a blank CD in my bag that I know that I have.

"Why don't you go back performing?" Alex asked.

"You know that I didn't like performing in front of people. I get stage fright." I told Alex with a grin.

"Your first and last gig was amazing. I knew that you were given a record deal then. So, no more stage fright shit." Alex stated. How did he become so wise?

"It just reminds me too much of Mom and Dad." I said to him. "Even if I know that I have moved on from what they did to me, I'm still deeply affected if I do remember that night." I said to Alex who just nodded at me. "I'll just give this to the front desk." I said to Alex who just nodded.

I went to the front desk and handed the CD to the girl there. I attached a message to Kevin saying that they can use this song for their album as well. I was about to go back when I heard someone shout my name. When I looked back, it was Nick running towards me. "Hi Nick." I said to him with a smile.

"Marty! Where have you been? I've been worried sick already coz I can't find you and you've not been answering your cell phone." Nick said to me. I looked at his back and saw that the others are coming already.

"I'll talk to you later but I have to go now." I said shifting my eyes to the direction of the other Boys. Nick just nodded. The elevator opened and I entered it. "Tell Kevin to get something from the desk." I said hurriedly as the door closed.

I just saw him. I saw Brian. And he was acting normal like nothing major has happened. I guess that's just the proof I need that states the thing I hoped that won't happen, our relationship is over. My sight was becoming blurry and I know what's next, tears, again. I wiped it away immediately. "I won't cry." I said to my self. 

The door opened and I walked to my room feeling down as ever. "You okay?" Alex asked from the couch. I just shrugged and sat beside him.

"We're over." I said simply and I couldn't stop the tears anymore from coming out.

Alex wrapped his hands around me. I laid my head on his shoulder and let it all come out. "Just cry. Let everything out." Alex repeatedly said as he tried to comfort me. After that, everything was a haze.

Someone nudged me causing me to wake up from my slumber. I slowly opened my eyes and saw Alex hovering over me with a goofy grin pasted on his face. "What?" I asked him groggily with a hint of irritation. It's morning for God's sake!

"It's morning already and someone called here, um, I think it's Kevin and asked if you are ready for tonight's concert. I said that you'll gonna be in the concert." Alex told me happily. Well, I guess I better start my day then coz my brother seemed to give the answer already.

"Will they wait for me?" I asked him as I stood up from the bed still a little sleepy. 

"I said that they should go ahead and we'll just follow." Alex answered. Well, another good answer from Alex. Well, it's been like that already since then. I think it's the perks that comes with being so close together; we think almost alike. Take note of the word 'almost'.

"Okay." I said walking to the bathroom to take a bath. I'm still a little bit out of tuned remembering the face of Brian yesterday. I can't believe that he was acting so normal like nothing 'big' happened. I guess it's a falling out or something.

After my soothing bath, I walk in the room finding my brother sitting by the bed waiting for me. "Hurry up. We're gonna fix this shit you're in." Alex said seriously. Now, here's the difference in us. Usually, Alex is a happy-go-lucky guy and seldom serious. If he is serious, he really means business. In my case, I try to mix it. A little bit of serious and fun. I just nodded at him and dressed up.

Once I've made myself comfortable, I sat beside him. "I still love him." I said.

"I know." Alex replied. "I can see it in your eyes and in you." Alex looked at me with care in his eyes. "Tell me how you two end up in this shit."

"Watch your language." I chastised him. I thought for a while trying to think when this 'falling out' came about. "It just came out yesterday. I mean, everything was as normal as it gets but the guys told me all the problems and stress they're facing and I talked to Brian, I mean I tried to talk to Brian but he acted defensive and so I told him that maybe he just wants a breakup, and he said 'fine' and that's the last of it." I said as tears began to fall from my eyes.

"Are you sure that he loves you because he sounds like an insensitive prick?" Alex asked me.

"We've been together for a few months already and even though that we had some problems, we passed them and I think I can say that he loved me." It pained me saying it in past tense like our relationship was something out of the depths of my memory.

Alex seemed to thinking with what I was telling him. I guess him being part of some peer counseling group is something good. "Is there any reason that you can think that may cause him to think otherwise in your relationship?" Alex asked. Alex is surely good in this.

"Well, the last falling out we had was with his parents when they didn't take our relationship happily. I broke it off because his parents kinda convinced me that I'm gonna be hindering his career but we got back together." I told him. "The last few weeks have been a little stressful as well because of their promotion things." I added.

"Are you honest to each other?" Alex asked me. I just nodded. "I mean, there's nothing that you are hiding from him that if he knows might make him angry?"

"There's one." I said solemnly. "I had a little fling with JC of NSYNC but it didn't work out. I think it lasted only a day or two." That might be it. "Oh shit." I said realizing something.

I immediately grabbed my phone and called Nick. After a few rings, Nick answered sleepily. "Nick, it's Martin." I said to him.

"Hi Martin." Nick greeted me livelier.

"Um, I wanna ask if Brian knew that I had a fling with JC coz I haven't told him that." I asked Nick rather uncomfortably.

"You haven't!" Nick exclaimed. Uh-oh. "I think he overheard it when I was chatting with Justin. Shit! Shit! Shit!" Nick was kinda panicking already. "I'm so sorry! Maybe that's why he was acting so strange yesterday. I am so sorry Martin!" Nick sounded that he was about to cry.

"I guess I really have to talk to Brian later then." I sighed. I bid Nick goodbye after a few more apologies from him. "I think that's the reason." I told Alex.

"Then, I think you know how to fix everything." Alex told me patting me at the shoulder. This is gonna be a heavy day. Alex and I rode a cab that would bring us to the arena. Alex was having a ball seeing the sceneries passing by like it was his first time out of our house.

The trip was short and we were already there in no time. Alex was speaking nonstop about how my job is so cool and that the place was big and amazing. Once inside the arena, I looked for Irene, the PA to ask for a pass for Alex so he won't be reprimanded later on. 

I gave Alex a little tour around the arena and told him stuff about how everything works inside. He was so happy and very much interested. Lastly, we reached the stage where the band was warming up for later's performance. I presented Alex to the band and Alex still has a grin pasted on his face. I placed my headset and asked them if they can play The One for our first song.

After the first run, Alex talked to me in improvising a few that sounded so cool. I relayed it to the guys and they were happy with it as well. "Wanna be a star?" I asked Alex. His eyes bulged out like he won a Grammy or something. He nodded happily.

I asked Wes, the new sound engineer to hand us a microphone so I can fulfill my lil brother's wish. Wes was happy to do it coz he has to test the thing as well. I handed it to Alex and he took his place in front of the stage facing the empty seats that would later be filled. "1, 2, 3..." I said and the opening chords of The One played and Alex's voice was heard inside the whole arena.

I'll be the one...

I guess you were lost when I met you
Still there were tears in your eyes
So out of trust and I knew
No more than mysteries and lies

There you were, wild and free
Reachin' out like you needed me
A helping hand to make it right
I am holding you all through the night

I'll be the one (I'll be the one)
Who will make all your sorrows undone
I'll be the light (I'll be the light)
When you feel like there's nowhere to run
I'll be the one...

To hold you and make sure that you'll be alright
'Cause my faith is gone
And I want to take you from darkness to light

There you were, wild and free
Reachin' out like you needed me
A helping hand to make it right
I am holding you all through the night

I'll be the one (I'll be the one)
Who will make all your sorrows undone
I'll be the light (I'll be the light)
When you feel like there's nowhere to run
I'll be the one...

To hold you and make sure that you'll be alright
'Cause my faith is gone
And I want to take you from darkness to light

You need me like I need you
We can share our dreams comin' true
I can show you what true love means
Just take my hand, baby please

I'll be the one
I'll be the light
Where you can run
To make it alright
I'll be the one
I'll be the light
Where you can run

I'll be the one (I'll be the one)
Who will make all your sorrows undone
I'll be the light (I'll be the light)
When you feel like there's nowhere to run
I'll be the one...

I'll be the one
I'll be the light
Where you can run
To make it alright
I'll be the one
I'll be the light
Where you can run
To make it all right
I'll be the one
To hold you
And make sure that you'll be alright
I'll be the one

"I see you haven't lost your touch?" I said smiling after his little performance. I think Alex's grin wasn't removable.

"Care for a duet?" Alex asked me. I raised my eyebrow at him. Even if we were brothers, we never did anything together, I mean singing together. I dunno why but we didn't. So if he's gonna ask me now, why should I say 'no'?

"Sure!" I said to him as I walked to Wes to ask another mike.

"That guy is great! He has a good voice!" Wes told me. I just smiled at him knowingly. I returned to the stage and Alex was with the guitar strumming. I didn't know that he could play the guitar.

"You know Everything?" Alex asked me. I nodded coz I downloaded their song from the net coz it's not yet available here. It was sung by a duo called M2M, the one who sang Don't Say You Love Me for the Pokemon movie. I nodded as I went to the keyboards to try how I should lay it down.

After a few minutes, I finally have it and Alex was ready as well. "1, 2, 3..." I said as I played the first chords.

It's been nine days, eight hours
Forty minutes, ten seconds
Since you called
I've been so crazy
I've just about
Taken our picture
Off the wall
It's been three months
Over hundred days
Since you held my hand
And I miss you in
A thousand ways
Will I ever see you again?

How did it change so fast?
I won't give you to the past
I really thought it'd last
_
All that we had was
So unbelievable
Now that it's gone
It's just inconceivable
Still in my dreams
You were so damn beautiful
How could it be
That you ruined my
Everything, everything, everything_

Everything, everything, everything

It seems like
Everyone everywhere's in love
So, where are you?
And I remember
You couldn't get enough
Said you felt it too
So didn't you

How did it change so fast?
I won't give you to the past
I really thought it'd last
_
All that we had was
So unbelievable
Now that it's gone
It's just inconceivable
Still in my dreams
You were so damn beautiful
How could it be
That you ruined my
Everything, everything, everything

All that we had was
So unbelievable
Now that it's gone
It's just inconceivable
Still in my dreams
You were so damn beautiful
How could it be
That you ruined my
Everything, everything, everything_

Everything, everything, everything
Everything, everything, everything

Ooh, hooh 
You ruined my 
Everything, everything, everything
Everything, everything, everything

Everything, everything, everything
Everything, everything, everything
Everything, everything, everything
Everything, everything, everything

It's been nine days, eight hours
Forty minutes, ten seconds
Three months, a hundred days
And I miss you in
A thousand ways
Will I ever see you again?

The song just reflected what I was feeling. I guess music really has its way in bringing out the pent up feelings inside of you. I felt lighter after that. The band was applauding at us and I just have to blush. I walked to Alex and I hugged him tightly. "Thanks! You sure know how to uplift me." I whispered to him. 

"You know me!" Alex said to me. I broke the hug and saw that the Boys were already there also clapping their hands; except Brian who was sporting a scowl with his hands in his pocket staring at me.

"You two are great!" AJ shouted. I held Alex's hand and dragged him to where the Boys where.

"I can't meet them. I mean look at me." Alex was babbling. "Oh my God! I'm gonna die!" Alex said and he let me drag him to where the guys where.

"Guys, this is Alex, he is..." I started but was cut by Brian who was so red with anger.

"Slut." Brian said in gritted teeth. I stopped and stared at him shocked with what the word that came from his mouth. I was so taken aback with what he said to me.

"Excuse me, who are you calling a slut?" Alex said as I started to speak as well. The two were having a glaring match.

"The guy beside you." Brian said. If I remember Alex, I don't wanna be on his way when he looks like this. His head was already red with fury.

"Take that back or I'm gonna kick your skinny little ass." Alex replied with venom in his voice.

"Oh, the slut just have to hide behind his boyfriend's back." Brian said sarcastically rolling his eyes.

"You fuckin' shit." I told him that surprised the others, even my brother. I guess swearing isn't really my thing. "Alex is my younger brother!" I screamed at him and walked away.

EMAIL ME!!! pseud0nym@edsamail.com.ph

AUTHOR'S BOX:

Hey there y'all!

That's chapter 22 guys and gals. Is that a cliffhanger? I don't think so I'm a little good today. *grin* I hope you like the chapter and the songs featured here. I might put more songs here; songs that aren't necessarily popular in the States coz I know most readers are from the States and doesn't know other songs overseas.  

By the way, I have another story here in Nifty. I just uploaded it alongside this, it's entitled What I See. Well, it's kinda different coz it's a JC story! Yep, I'm on my JC moment so I am so loving every bit of Mr. Joshua Scott Chasez.

Songs featured:

• Perfect Love, written by myself

• The One,  written by Max Martin/Brian Litrell, performed by the Backstreet Boys and this could be found in the Millennium and Chapter One albums.

• Everything, written Marion Raven and Marit Larsen, performed by M2M and this could be found in The Big Room.

A big 'HI' to the people in the Nifty Boyband Chatroom! They are so nice, especially Dru, CJ, Duckie, Clive, Jayson... and the list goes on. Wanna say hi to my friends Byron and Reggie who have helped me with their support and their friendship! Finally, a big thank you to David, without him, we won't be reading any of the best slash fics in the world!  

PLEASE!!!! Send me feedbacks... I'm a feedback addict! I so love those feedbacks. Short, long, good or bad, or just whatever... drop me a line okay? Addie is pseud0nym@edsamail.com.ph. EMAIL me. If you have any problem with the HTML thingy, please tell me. And I also got the Yahoo Messenger thingy so that's also good so we can exchange IM's or something. The ID is pseud0nym2001. A BIG BIG BIG BIG 'Thank you' to all of you who have emailed! :-)

these are a few of my faves in the archive that inspired me to write and I hope you like them as well:

• Brian and Justin (Brian/Justin)

• The One (Brian/Justin)

• Jamie's Romance (Justin)

• Love Thru Chat (JC/Justin, Lance)

• Josh and Just (JC/Justin)

• Lance in Shining Armour (Lance)

• My New Life (Lance)

• Because I Love You (Brian/Nick)

• Double Take (Brian/Nick)

• Bad Boy B-Rok (Brian)

• Justin's Dark Angel (Justin)

• My Surprise Romance (Lance)

• Heir to the Darkness (Brian/Nick)

• Life with Justin (Justin)

• Kevin and Dustin (Kevin)

• French Kiss Me (Brian)

• Millennium Love (Brian)

• Forever (Kevin)

• JC's Hitchhiker (JC)

• Get Another Boyfriend (Kevin)

• Jimmy Needs Assistance (Lance)

• Lance, JC and an Astral Fan (Lance/JC)

• Lance's Search (Lance/JC)

• Heir to the Darkness (Nick/Brian)

• JC Dreams (JC)

• On the Streets (Kevin)

• Sans Vous, Je Suis Rien (Justin)

• Sins & Saviors (?)

• Insecurities (Nick)

• Chance Meeting (Justin)

... these are a few of them but there are lots more... trust me.