Reformation

THIS STORY IS WRITTEN UNDER THE NIFTY BOY BANDS AUTHORS UNION

Author: r(y)@n

Email: windang@softhome.net

Other Stories in this directory:

• Crossed Paths

• Help Me

• What I See -----------------------------------------------------------------------

• Disclaimer *

If you are under 18 or not of legal age in your country, please do not read on. If you couldn't accept themes of homosexuality and the like, please don't read on. This is a story concerning gay males having intimate relationships and is considered FOR ADULTS ONLY due to its sexual theme and contents. BUT if you really like this stuff, please don't tell others. This disclaimer is for your protection and mine as well.

Everything in this story is purely FICTIONAL. Or in simpler terms, it's not true!!! Even if this story involves the Backstreet Boys, NSYNC and other famous celebrities all that happen in here is fictional... again, it's not true. If there are instances that it scenes are similar to what happened in the real world, it doesn't mean that it's what really happened. The events are mere fabrication of my overimaginative mind. I don't know anything about their sexuality, as far as I and the world know, they're straight as an arrow so I dunno if they are gay (but I do have my speculations) or not but I wrote this out of freedom of speech and my love for these guys and slash fiction. I don't own or know the Backstreet Boys, NSYNC or other cited celebrity in the story personally. AGAIN, it's NOT TRUE!!! But don't we all hope that it's true... hehehehe...

eMAIL --> windang@softhome.net

The Reformation

Chapter 36 -----------------

I tried to filter out the thought that Brian just left as I worked with the guys. But when I looked at them, I could see it in their eyes that they knew how I hated the fact that Brian wasn't with me. Maybe, it was the same feeling that Josh has since Nick wasn't with us.

The soundcheck and the show didn't register in my mind. It was like I was automated to just perform without thinking. Or maybe the fact that Alex helped me til the show ended made it easier. I was so thankful for the presence of Alex because my mind was really fried.

Once the show was done, we stayed in the lounge room until the girls have left. I took out my phone and dialed Brian's mobile. After a few rings, Brian answered. "Hi Mart!" He exclaimed.

"Everything okay there?" I asked.

"Yeah. Kevin just picked me up and we're on our way to my house." Brian informed me.

"That's nice to hear." I said with a smile feeling relieved knowing that Brian was in safe hands already. "I just wanted to check on you. Enjoy your night and love you." I said.

"I love you too! Call you tomorrow." Brian told me and hung up. I placed my cell phone back in my pocket and looked at the others who were looking at me.

"What?" I exclaimed. They shook their heads and returned to what they were discussing.

The PA informed us that we could leave and we filed out of the room with Alex and Josh around me. I took Josh's hand and squeezed it. I knew what he was undergoing and it was not a good experience. "Did you call him?" I whispered so the others wouldn't hear, especially Justin who seemed to have his own agenda.

"I did. But all I'm getting is his voicemail." Josh answered weakly. "But he did send a text message." Josh took out his phone and showed me. It read, 'I love you. I'll call you when I'm ready.' "I think he sent Justin a message too but he doesn't want to talk about Nick right now." Josh informed me.

"Just be there for him for now." I advised Josh who nodded with a smile. "If you want to talk or anything, I'm always here. Especially Bri is not here." I told him.

"I might take your offer some time." Josh answered.

We hopped in the SUV that would be taking us back to the hotel. Once we were settled in the vehicle, Alex placed his head on my shoulder and slept. He must be very tired. I looked out of the window and just stared at the passing scenery. In no time, the SUV slowed down and stopped in front of the hotel. "Alex, we're here." I nudged Alex. He stirred and walked out of the SUV after me.

I walked in my room. I looked around and saw how lifeless it was. Well, I haven't slept in the room eversince we arrived in New York a few days ago. I was always with Brian and it would be the first of consecutive days without him. How could I survive when I have learned how to sleep with Brian by my side? "I'll have to figure that one this night." I answered out loud.

I stripped down to my boxers and went to the bathroom to clean up. Once done, I crept to my bed that seemed to be bigger than usual. It was ironic because when I was with Brian, a bed like that would be too small for us but once you're alone, it's bigger. I laid down at the center of the bed staring at the ceiling. I closed my eyes praying that sleep would soon visit me.

My eyes shot open when I heard a knock at the door. "Who could that be?" I asked myself. I pulled myself off the bed and walked to the door to open it. I looked in the peephole and saw Josh standing timidly. I opened the door and Josh smiled once he saw me.

"I woke you up? Sorry, I'll just," Josh started as he walked backwards.

"No, no." I interrupted him. "I'm having a hard time sleeping without Brian. Come in." I opened the door wider and Josh just nodded stepping inside. "What's up?" I asked him. Josh was just looking at me. I looked at myself and suddenly felt self-conscious. I grabbed a robe and covered myself. "Sorry about that." I grinned.

"It's no problem." Josh answered. "I just need someone to talk to. Justin just seems to be in a different plane especially that he wants to wringe Nick's neck and that's the last thing I want him to do. I'm not comfortable with him these days because when I look at him, it's like he's upto something fishy and I don't like it." Josh said as he sat on one of the couches.

"I guess I'm not being paranoid then." I told Josh. "There's just a glint in his eyes or the way he moves this days. I can't pinpoint it but something is definitely up." I sat on the couch beside the one Josh sat on.

"Anyway, I came here not to talk about Justin and his conspiracies but to talk about the shitty feeling that I have." Josh was so close in pulling his hairs out. He was stressing about this too much. "I can't handle not knowing where Nick is and not be with him, or just even talk to him. I know Nick could be impulsive but this is just insane! Doesn't he think? I am worried sick here and he's out there somewhere." Josh said.

"Calm down, Josh." I said holding his knee. Josh took a deep breath. "You're stressing too much. Remember that you're in tour and this is not healthy. I don't want you to just lose it one of these days." I pulled my hands. "I know that this is tough. I'm not taking Brian's departure that well too. Like now, I don't know how to even sleep without him. Nick is just doing what he thinks is right even if it's wrong in our eyes. It's quite selfish of him but we really don't know what is up. All you can do is wait and love him. Start in just leaving short messages in his voicemail. He prolly needs it too right now especially if he's alone." I advised Josh.

"Yeah. He hates sleeping alone." Josh commented.

"Sometimes, the simplest of things are the most heartfelt." I told Josh.

"I think I'll do that." He said smiling. It was only the first time I saw his real smile since Nick left. I still didn't know the dynamics of their threesome but as what I perceived, Nick seemed to be closer to Josh's heart. I hoped it wouldn't bring any conflict between him and Justin because that's the last thing this tour needed. "Can I sleep with you tonight?" Josh asked.

"Does Justin know?" I inquired.

"He's out with his friends." Josh answered rolling his eyes.

"We just had a show and we're gonna be early tomorrow." I said surprised.

"I don't want to sleep alone in our room and I left Justin a note telling him that I'm staying with you." Josh said almost pleading.

"Okay." I finally relented. I actually wanted it as well. It was hard to sleep alone. If Josh didn't come, I would have roomed with Alex tonight since I was having a hard time falling asleep. Ah, the horrors of solitude.

The two of us laid on the bed spooning each other. "It's like the time when we were together." Josh giggled.

"I know." I said giggling as well. Even if it was short-lived, I knew then that Josh would always have a special place in my heart. He was sensitive and selfless. If I wasn't enraptured with Brian, I might have learned how to fall in love Josh. He was very easy to love. Nick and Justin were very lucky to have Josh.

It wasn't really the most spectacular slumber that I had but it was passable. There was just a sense of unfamiliarity. My body already knew the feel of Brian's skin and Josh's were different compared to Brian's even if Josh's skin seemed to be flawless and smooth. When I woke up, Josh was still asleep. We were spooning each other like we were looking for comfort from each other.

I smiled at Josh's innocence and beauty as he slept. "You are beautiful." I voiced as I stroke his left cheek. I tried to pry away from Josh's grasp without waking him. I needed to go to the bathroom and relieve my full bladder. Once freed, I hurriedly walked to the bathroom and took a much needed piss. I splashed cold water to my face to wash away the sleepiness. I was still so tired.

I walked back in the room and saw Josh still sleeping. I looked at the watch and it was just 8:00. I didn't know what time we would leave but I just felt so tired. I yawned and walked sluggishly to the bed. "I guess I'm sleeping again." I said to no one in particular as I laid on the bed. After a few seconds, I dozed off with Josh spooning me.

"Martin." Someone said nudging me. I slowly opened my eyes and saw Lance crouching in front of me. "You look so tired." Lance noted.

"I feel tired too. Wake me up later." I said closing my eyes.

"Martin, we are gonna leave in about 10 minutes." Lance informed me. My eyes shot open and hastily stood up.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

"I just told you now." Lance said with a cheesy grin. I just rolled my eyes.

"Where did Josh go?" I asked him.

"Packing in his room." Lance answered. I rushed in the bathroom to take a very quick shower just to perk me up. "I'm gonna place your bags out!" Lance shouted from the bedroom.

"Okay!" I shouted back. After a few minutes, I walked out of the bathroom forgetting the fact that I was naked. I didn't want to be the cause of delay so I didn't really much care. Well, that changed when I saw the rest of the guys. I froze for a few seconds but rushed to the pair of boxers on the bed to wear it. Chris, Lance and Joey were whistling and teasing. Justin was about to fall asleep so he wasn't joining the fun. Josh was just smiling at me. "Enough of the free show." I told them.

"That's why Brian loves you." Joey teased that made me blush.

"Stop teasing Martin." Josh told the others.

"I thought we were leaving." I said hoping they would get the hint and change the subject.

"Yeah, we're just waiting for you to be dress and then we're off to New Jersey to a new hotel." Lance answered me.

"I'm so sorry for causing a delay. I just overslept and," I started.

"Stop it Martin." Josh interrupted me. "No one is causing a delay. We're still early actually and we don't have a concert today. You can sleep in the bus again." Josh told me. I just smiled. I dressed hurriedly wanting to leave immediately. Once finished, I checked if I left anything because I hated it when I left things in hotel rooms.

"All done!" I told the others. They nodded and filed out of the room. I took one last look and followed the other guys in the elevator. I looked at my watch and it read 10:00am. "I really overslept." I mumbled to myself.

"Don't be too hard on yourself. You were tired. Everyone needs a rest." Joey seemed to have heard me. He gave me a friendly pat at the back. I just smiled at him. The elevator seemed to go on forever. It was taking so long and Justin was actually sleeping on Josh's shoulder already.

Once we reached the lobby, we walked out of the elevator and I could hear the fans screaming. It has leaked. We were enjoying our time without the fans for the past 3 days or so.

With the help of their big (and I mean BIG) bodyguards, we were ushered to the bus. The noise was really deafening and I was grabbed thrice and I wasn't even a star. I was grabbed because of association. They might have thought that because I was with the NSYNC people, I was a somebody. Well, I could have but this kind of crowd was the kind I didn't like. I wasn't undermining fans but it was my personal preference to not be mobbed.

"That was wild!" Justin said who lost all his sleepiness because of the crowd. When I looked at the others, they were still smiling looking from the window. Even if their clothes seemed to be ripped apart, they were still smiling. I couldn't do that. I was scowling already.

"It's part of fame." Alex whispered to me.

"I don't have to like it." I grumbled crossing my arms. I sat on one of the couches and waited for the pandemonium to stop. I only waited for a few minutes because the security cleared the way for the bus. "Finally." I said to myself a little bit exasperated.

The guys were scattered around the lounge room. But Josh and Justin were keeping a distance from each other. When Justin was close, Josh would move away. I was a little bit amused in observing them. Even if Josh and Justin has a tension between them, the dynamics of the group were left unchanged. Joey and Chris were still goofing off with Alex who seemed to enjoy their company the most. Lance was on his cellphone with his PalmTop opened to probably take down notes or something. Josh was reading and Justin was just looking at Josh.

Justin caught me watching them all and sat beside me. "What's up?" I asked him feigning innocence.

"I know that you know that something is up." Justin whispered to me.

"Yeah but I'm keeping my peace. I don't really wanna butt in your world. Maybe when it's on its extreme of if I find that I really need to do it." I told him.

"I think Josh is mad at me." Justin informed me. I looked at him and I knew that he was sad about that fact. "He didn't even sleep in our room last night."

"He slept in mine." I told him. "You were out partying and he can't sleep anymore with no one to cuddle with." I wasn't really trying to make him guilty but it was the blunt truth and I didn't intend to sweet talk. The truth is the truth even if it's painful, it's the truth still.

"I know it's my fault about that." Justin admitted. "But it's the only way I can deal with... him." Justin told me.

"The name is Nick. You can say it." I said.

"Yeah yeah but he's not my most favorite person in the world right now." Justin replied with a tinge of bitterness.

"I know." I said. "And Josh and I know that you are upto something and it ain't good." I informed him.

"Me?" He said raising his eyebrow.

"Yeah, you." I told him pointing at his chest.

Justin sighed. "Fine. I'm planning to make a solo as well." Justin answered me that made me surprised. My mouth just dropped staring at him like he grew a new head.

"Just great." I said sarcastically rubbing my head when I snapped out of my shock. I knew from that point that it was gonna be a new headache for everyone.

----------------------- End of Chapter

CHAPTER 36!!!! cheers I'm so so happy that everything is coming out nicely. This new plot sprouted due to the real lives of the NSYNC and BSB people. For me, this is what happened with all the things going on. If you want some things added or complains, my email welcomes them all! grin Oh yeah, do vote for Nick's Do I Have to Cry for You and JC's Blowin' Me Up (With Her Love) in your areas! They all need our support. :-) GO UNDERDOGS!

Thanks to ALL of you who have taken the time and EMAILED me! I truly appreciate it very much. It's really nice to know if there are people who are actually reading what I write.

PLEASE!!!! Send me feedbacks... I'm a feedback addict! I so love those feedbacks. Short, long, good or bad, or just whatever... drop me a line okay? I also have most of the IM programs out there and I'm usually on, hopefully you can catch me.

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2A big big "HI" to all my new friends in the Nifty Boyband chatroom, Nifty Writers room, and Crazy!!! There are too many names to mention but I guess Dru, Duckie and CJ are my frequent chatmates! So a big "hello" to the three of you! I wanna give a big shout out to my Danish pals, Chris and Danny. They have always given nice bits of advice to me especially when I felt low. I hope you two won't ever break up! :-) And finally, David!!!! Thank you very much for maintaining the Nifty archives. Without him, we won't be able to read any of the best slash stories.