Author's Notes: FYI, Nsync isn't really Nsync in this world because this story is an AU.
Disclaimer: I'm not responsible for any form of slander that maybe come upon any of those mentioned in the story because it's all fiction. None of this is true.
The Remains of Being Human By Dane
Chapter 5:
The next day, I spent it with Joey at the 'Ripley's Believe it or not Museum.' Lance decided to go out and learn how to scuba dive so we dropped him off at one of the places where he could learn that. Me and Joey spent most of the afternoon being amazed and baffled by some of the exhibits.
'I don't know, Justin. I just can't see how that man could put those balls up his nose,' said Joey who scrutinized the model of some guy that stuffed his nostrils with tennis balls.
'Hey, at least he's not that freaky compared to that woman who has the world's biggest collection of lentil beans. I swear that woman must be really bored.'
Joey grinned a lope-sided smirk and continued to move along the exhibitions. Our favorite was probably the Chamber of Horrors where we saw all the torture devices and models about other culture's practices on death. After all that weirdness, we sat ourselves down near the food stand to rest ourselves before we pick up Lance from his lesson.
'How are you holding up, dude?' I asked as I dug in to the chips and nacho cheese.
'Fine, I guess. I finally decided on something though.'
I judged his face first before answering. 'And that would be, Kimosabe?'
'I'm giving up on Lance. Starting when we get back to Orlando.'
It would have been comical to see me lose my bearings and fall down from my chair to the floor if Joey wasn't looking at another way. I stood up immediately, hoping that he didn't notice my lost composure. 'When did you decide on that?' This is not looking good.
'Yesterday afternoon actually, while you and Lance were at the beach. I really thought about it and thought 'Hey, you can't wait on Lance forever. If he hasn't seen through your tactics by now then give up and move on.' It's just that I'm tired already, Just. I don't want to tell him because I might risk the friendship. It would kill me in the end but I would rather have Lance as a friend than not have him as my boyfriend.'
Whoa! He wasn't joking when he said that he was thinking. 'Okay, I'll support you in whatever you think is best, Joe. But what if he suddenly comes around and notices you?'
He shrugs and finishes off his Coke. 'Come what may, dude. Come what may.'
I smiled and plotted on a scheme to get them together. I can be a devious son of a bitch when I can be. I silently put the points of Operation: Hook-up and thought of sneaking out of the house later to find some store on the island at sells handcuffs.
Chapter 6:
Okay! Handcuffs on Lance while he sleeps. Check! Got him drunk and semi-naked in bed. Check! Placed a gag on him. Check! Condoms and Lube. Check! Keys to Lance's room. Check! Now, all I have to do is wait for Joey to wake up and make sure that he goes to Lance's room. I'll lock him in and wait a good 12 hours to see if they're in the sack. Ah! Here comes Joey. Good! All he's wearing are a pair of track pants.
'Joe,' I shouted from my room. 'Can you drag Lansten from bed so can all go shopping and stuff?' Did I happen to mention that I'm a fucking good actor too?
'Dude, you do it. I just got out of bed and I feel like shit.' I looked at Joey and mentally concurred with that statement. Joey really did look like shit. Okay, I don't know. I just want to see these to together or I will personally tell the both of them to get over themselves and fuck already. Jesus! If lance is going to dish out, at least let it be Joey.
'Please Joe! I'll buy you a double size pizza with everything on it, complete with female delivery girl in a skimpy outfit,' I pleaded with my patented glassy, puppy dog eyes. If Joey got the charm that make women swoon, I got the pout that make people bow to my will.
'Ah Shit! Turn your fucking face around, Timberlake. I'll do it, just make that when you get that pizza don't place any pineapple into the combo. I hate that shit.' He trudged up to Lance's room and entered it with a slight irritation. I double-stepped up the stairs and locked the door when Joey just about screamed 'What the Fuck?!?!'
Before long, two set of confused voices rang out of the closed off room. Joey's was starting to get high pitched with panic while Lance's low bass resonated with the agony of a hangover. Joey kept on babbling on about Lance to cover himself and being trapped in a room without food. That all stopped when Lance shouted 'Shut up, Joey!' followed by a low wince of pain. From my sitting position near the room, I just chuckled as silently as possible. When the voice eventually died down, I opted to make myself known.
'Are you guys okay?' I shouted to the door with a jiggle of the handle. Yep! It's locked.
'Justin! Get us out of here. Do you know that Lance is cuffed to the bed? Someone got his freak on and I'm having very nasty mental pictures at the moment,' shrieked Joey.
'Oh, Fuck off!' mumbled Lance.
'Dude, get us out of here!' Joey's fluster continued until Lance told him to shut up again. A short argument ensued and I let that slide for another 10 minutes until they both quieted down. Joey, and sometimes Lance, begged to be released.
'No way, guys. I just have a few things to say. Joey, tell him already or I will. Lance, talk to him. Tell him your problem. I will be back at around 7PM with dinner. There's some Chinese take-out in the bathroom so you won't starve and a little something in the drawer, Joey, for your use later. Oh, and I placed some wine in the bathroom cabinet if you want to drink it, besides the soda cans. Please keep the noise to a minimum because we do have neighbors. You guys can kill me later. Toodles Fools!' I said before going to my room to get dressed. Needless to say, Joey kept on cursing in English, Italian, French, and a couple more languages that I didn't quite get, accompanied by Lance's constant groanings of pain, until I left the house with a very thunderous slamming of the front door.
Now, what to do for the next 12 hours. Maybe I'll head out to the MTV beach house and see if they need any extras for their shot today.
Chapter 7:
Switch to Joey's POV
'That Bastard! When I get my hands on him, I will kick his ass so high that he will be tasting rubber for the next 3 months,' I mumbled while I paced like an expectant father. In bed was Lance, shackled up in a pair of padded handcuffs. His movements kept on pushing the blankets away from his body. Shit! All I'm seeing is skin from where I'm standing. Great! There goes 'Little Joe'.
'Joe! Do me a favor and can you get me some 'Advil' from my bathroom. I'm dying here and I need some relief,' begged Lance in his pain. Damn! What would I do for him to say that under different circumstances? I rummaged through his stuff in the bathroom and found a box with my name on it beside the 'Advil'. I opened the bottle and got two capsules. I rushed back into the room and gave him his medicine. Surprisingly, he swallowed them dry. 'Be right back. Got to use your john and shower.' As I was getting to close the door, Lance yelled, 'Remember to light a match.' How I love that Shithead.
Glancing at the red, velvety box, I knew that Justin intentionally did this just to spite my scared ass. No point in wondering what's inside. Whoa! That Weird Fuck! Look at this shit! Glow-in-the dark condoms, studded ones, normal ones, a dildo, some edible massage oil, a book of the Kama Sutra, Astroglide. Dammit, where in the hell did he find a sex shop that wouldn't card him? There's a note here, I hope. There it is!
Joe-
By now, you have found this box full of equipment. I just set the stage for you to make your move. The key of the cuffs is hidden underneath the wine bottles, but knowing you, you will let Lance languish a bit just to be sure that it's safe. Tell him already and get the fuck it out of your system. Oh! And remember this little quote from Cher. 'It's in his kiss. That's where it is.'
Justin P.S. He has something to tell you too. ;P
That Fucker! I hope he will burn in the deepest pits of Dante's Inferno for this!
'Joey! I'm going to puke!' moaned Lance. Shit! I opened the cabinet and moved the bottles of wine. Merlot '99, good stuff. Anyway, I found the key and rushed to release Lance from being bound. As soon as I was able to get the cuffs off him, he ran into to the toilet. Wait a minute! He's wearing a thong! Damn that bubble butt of his is giving me some really nasty thoughts right now.
'How are you feeling?' I asked as he languidly curled up in his bed.
'Like a Mac Truck ran over me and did it again 15 times. Shit! Here we go again!' He ran back inside the bathroom and heard the sounds of retching once more. Might as well start some morning after remedies. Shit! This is going to be a long day.
Lance's POV:
I'm dying! I'm going to kill Justin for giving me that fifth shot of tequila. And the sixth. And the seventh. And so on and so forth. Damn it all! He knows that me and tequila aren't friends. May the good Lord forgive me for I feel like I'm in hell.
'How are you feeling?' I heard Joey ask me with concern. I managed to peek out of the blanket and look. He cringed. I probably look like shit.
'Like a Mac Truck ran over me and did it again 15 times. Shit! Here we go again!' I covered my mouth with my hands and ran like a college runner to the porcelain. Gutting my insides out, I fell to my knees in extreme agony. Once I was sure that my stomach was emaciated, I stood up and gurgled some mouthwash. I barely noticed the box on the counter nor the two bottles of wine on the side. Groggily, I walked back to bed like a zombie on sleeping pills. Joey just did whatever and forced something down my throat.
'Trust me. It will help in your hangover. Just go back to sleep and we'll get some more fluids into you to replace the ones you just hurled. '
Good ole' Joey. Good reliable Joey. Do what he says. Yeah, Joey has the right idea. Go to sleep. Make the headache go away. Dream of Joey. Getting drowsy again. Oh! Look at Joey. Nice lips. Want to kiss them. Nighty-night, Joey. See you again in my dreams.
Joey's POV:
Look at him sleep. He's beautiful! The soft, slightly tanned skin. The way his muscles ripple with every little movement. He's not that slim, just the right size. Those supple lips of his, how badly I want to taste them. How I want to touch those arms of his. To lick those nipples with my tongue.
Shit! Listen to me. I'm babbling like a Judith Krantz novel. It's bad enough that I'm somewhat hard just looking at him. Oh, he's shifting again! Oh my God! Joey, look away now. You're seeing things. Lance can't be that big. Yeah, he's that big. Dammit, I'm going to kill Justin when I see him. Damn these locked doors and the steel netting in the windows. Is it just me or is it getting hotter and smaller here?
'Joey.' I heard Lance softly moaned as I turned back to him. The blanket was now completely off him and his body exposed to my vision. My eyes widened at the action that his hands were doing. He was stroking himself through that black thong. 'Joey,' he said again in his sleep-talking.
I must be dreaming. He's dreaming about me. This shit can't be happening! Maybe if I pinch myself, I'll wake up. Ouch! Okay, I'm awake, but I'm still here with Lance. No! I'll just have to wait until he wakes up, then I'll talk to him. Maybe Justin isn't that much of an asshole as I thought. I'll still kill him, of course. No jury in the USA would convict me. I hope he wakes up soon. My hard-on isn't going to go away anytime soon. Shit! I feel like some sleazy voyeur.
4 hours and 38 minutes later....
This is torture! I hope Justin has a will good and ready when he opens that door. He's not leaving this island alive.
'Joey,' Lance searches. 'Where are you?'
He calls and I beckon. 'Yeah.' I move closer from my sitting position in the corner. The beautiful man in bed moves a little to his side and placed his hands on his delicate hand. Man, he could be posing for 'Playgirl'. Okay Joey, just keep it cool. 'You okay, buddy?'
'Yeah, I guess. I don't feel like puking anymore though. The Anvil helped. Now I'm hungry. Did Justin leave us any food at least?
'Ahh! Let me check again. His note said that he left some Chinese for us.' I went back into the bathroom and, sure enough, found the plastic bags full of cold Chinese food in red and white cartons. Checking for things to drink, I found none except one small plastic bottle of mineral water and the two bottles of wine. Great! This gets better and better. I lugged everything in the bedroom with more of an irritation for Justin rather than anger. 'He left us food already, but all he left for drinks are these.' I raised the three bottles and Lance groaned a soft swear in French.
'Merde! Well, whip them all out. We might as well enjoy what little stuff we have. What did the Curly Top left us so we can reenact being the last two people in the last day of Survivor?'
I sat on the bed and started to remove the contents. Mu Shu Chicken, Nice! Yam Chow Fried Rice. Better! Beef in Oyster Sauce. Better Still! Fortune Cookies. The Best! 'I think we're okay. Uhh! Do you want some wine to drink?'
Lance paused for a thought then shrugged. 'Sure. Why not? I mean, I'm thirsty and sober. I need food. If wine is the only thing there, then lets drink it.'
'Good, because Justin left it uncorked. It would be a waste if we just left it there to become vinegar.' He's smiling. God! I would love to see that smile again. Now, to some food.
TBC...
(Other stories by Dane: Mad Season<my baby!>; Love, Words, and Intentions; and Eventually) All these can be found in Nifty. :P