Chapter 7: Feeling of Falling
I'm not sure how long I was out, but it must not have been as long as when I pass out from that night of drinking. From the corner of my eye, I could still see that it was night out. I guess I didn't move much. I could still hear his heart beat from under me. Everything was still the same, well except for the fact that I could feel him rubbing my back. It was really comforting.
"Carver? Are you awake?"
His hand stopped. "Oh uh are you awake now?" he asked.
"Yeah I just woke up. I guess I dozed off for a bit," I said as I picked myself up. "Sorry for using you as pillow."
"I don't mind," he said as he sat up, his hand just slighting touching mine. "Your phone was going off for a while though. Clowns?"
"What? Oh uh y-yeah," I stuttered. "I should probably get that changed."
"Why? I think it's pretty cool. It's unique."
"Uh thanks."
Great, at least he doesn't think I'm crazy. Shoving my hand down my front pocket, I pulled out my phone. Great, three missed calls and just as many texts from my aunt. Upon opening my texts, I see in all caps, "WHERE. ARE. YOU?" I don't think she's gonna be happy knowing that I fell asleep with Carver...again. Well no, maybe she'll be ecstatic seeing as she did try to give me condoms a few months ago.
"Yeah so that was aunt. I really need to get home," I said as I stood up stretching.
"Well let me drive you; never know what's out at night."
"Wait you have your license already?"
"No. But my mom was teaching me how to drive before she died. It's been a while but I'm confident I can drive you home. It's probably safer than walking at home at night."
"Is it though? You could be all talk when it comes to driving. I could die," I said dramatically.
"Oh come on. Have a little faith in me; I won't let anything happen you. I promise." He walked over to the candles, got down on all fours, and blew each one out. "Hey while you're standing there, care to help me blow these out before we go? Don't want to start a fire while we're out."
"Oh yeah yeah, not like I was just gonna stand here and watch you--"
"You were gonna watch me?" He turned his head back and winked.
"I-I mean...w-well I...I've said too much already." Quickly I skirted over next to him, crashed onto the floor with my knees and starting blowing out the candles one by one.
It took us longer than I thought it would, there were more candles than I thought there'd be. How long did he spend making this? As I blew out the last one, the resulting smoke from each candle billowed into a smokey cloud, Carver's makeshift indoor stars sparkling through, it was magnificent.
"Before we go, can I take a picture of this? I just want to relive it over and over again," I asked standing up.
"Yeah, of course," he said standing up with me, smiling from ear to ear. "I'm glad you like it."
"I love it. Wanna sleepover one day so you can just do this to my room?" I said without thinking.
"I'd love to! How about tonight?"
"I-I don't think that'd work. I think my aunt wants me dead right now. Maybe after I learn how to communicate with her better?"
"It's a date."
"D-Date?"
He just smiled and laughed. "You're way too easy. Come on, let's go," he said as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders.
We continued downstairs and then out of the house. Carver guided me to their old garage at back of their house. It was a pretty large wooden garage with chipped white paint and a dirt brown centered cross that stretched out from top to bottom.
"This is where it gets tricky," Carver said pointing at the garage door. "The door gets jammed a lot so I'm gonna need you to help me open it."
"What do you want me to do?"
Carver squatted down and placed the ends of his fingers at the crack of door.
"I need you to help me lift this."
Squatting down next to him, I place my fingers just under the door.
"Okay, on three. One. Two. Three!"
As the door started to lift, something small landed on my arm. Oh god a bug! I pushed myself back and started screeching for dear life. As a lied on the ground smacking my skin, Carver stood over me giggling.
"Are you okay?"
"Me? Oh yeah," I lied trying to act cool. "I just don't like bugs. I swear one landed on me."
"Well as long as you're okay. Here, take my hand." I grabbed his hand and as he pulled me up, I tripped on myself and ended up crashing into his chest. Time appeared as if it had slowed as we stood there together, chest to chest, hands clasped. I gulped as Carver let go of my hands and cupped my face, his breathing slowed, shaky even. As he started to lean in, I freaked out and pulled away.
"Uh we should probably get going," I said internally screaming, face flushed.
"R-Right," he replied disheartened. Carver walked ahead of me and stopped at the dust covered taupe colored cloth tarp.
In a flash, he whipped it off creating a plume of dust and also revealing an 1980s station wagon. It was painted dark brown with white accents. Just like the tarp, it was also covered in a film of dust. I doubt this thing has been driven in a while.
"You sure thing still runs?" I asked suspicious.
"Yeah, why wouldn't it?"
"I'm under the impression that it hasn't been out in years. I don't really know much--or anything about cars but that makes me think that this isn't going to run."
"I thought you trusted me?"
"I said I trusted your driving, not the ability that this car is gonna run."
He rolled his eyes and hopped into the car. To my surprise, he got the car to run. Walking seems like a much better idea right about now.
"What are you waiting for? Hop in," he hollered from behind the wheel.
Taking a deep breath, I reluctantly got into the passenger seat. God damn if I thought it was brown on the outside, it was just as if not more brown on the inside. Not only that but the seats were heavily padded as were the sides and the dashboard was clunky. And boy did it reek of tobacco. This had to be Grandpa George's old car.
"Are you sure you can drive this?" I asked anxiously buckling up. "I'm totally fine with walking."
"Yes. Quit whining, I've got this," Carver said as he pulled out of the driveway and onto the road.
"I would die in something like this," I said to myself. I sat in my seat with my legs close to my chest with my arms wrapped loosely holding them together. Suddenly, Carver yanked at my left hand and just firmly held it. I turn to look at him and he's just focused on the road. "W-What are you doing?"
"You wouldn't stop freaking out. I figured if I held your hand you'd calm down. Guess I was right," he said still looking at the road.
"Y-You can let go of my hand now," I said as I tried to pull away.
"No. I won't let go until we get to your house. Deal with it."
The rest of the drive was silent except for the hum of the engine and the creakiness of the car whenever we would hit a bump in the road. I sat there admiring him from my seat as he continued to hold onto my hand, rubbing the top with his thumb. This boy always knows what to do in my time of crisis. I wonder if he somehow feels the same way about me that I do about him.
As we pulled up to my driveway, I noticed that all the lights in the house were on. Well there goes my chance of walking in without a lecture. Carver then turned off the car, let go of my hand, and turned to me.
"So I really enjoyed spending time with you tonight."
"Y-Yeah, I feel the same way. What you did for me tonight was really nice. I-I've never had anyone do something like that for me before. So..."
"So?"
"I should head up now. U-Unless you--"
"Unless what?" he prodded.
"Unless you...Never mind. I-It's nothing." I turned to open the door but Carver snatched my hand again.
"Wait!"
"D-Did I forget something?" I asked looking back.
Carver looked at me with such intensity, I've never seen him look at me like that before. He started pulling me in again like earlier.
"Fang, get your ass in here now!" my aunt yelled from the front steps.
We both froze as we just looked at each other. He sighed and fell back into his seat, releasing me.
"I guess you should go."
"Y-Yeah," I said embarrassed as I stepped out of the car. There was no way that was going to happen. It's just all in my head. "Goodnight Carver."
"Goodnight Fang," Carver said as he pulled out and slowly drove away.
As I walked up the steps, my aunt stood there with her arms crossed.
"Again Fang? The least you could do is tell me when you're going to be home late."
"I'm sorry. It won't happen again."
"So what did you two do tonight?"
"Nothing. Well we helped Lulu with a theme for the dance."
"Oh? And how'd that happen?"
I spilled everything to her: what we did, where we went, that wonderful spectacle that he made just for me, and then we ended up sleeping together.
"Well that sounds like a date to me if I ever heard of one."
"What? No, no that wasn't--" I stopped to think. "Wait was it?"
"Oh my god, you have a boyfriend! Well not officially...yet. Why don't you ask him to the dance?"
"What? No, he's not gay and there's no way I'd ever have a chance with him."
"And why not?"
"I just don't think I'd have a chance with him. I mean he can do better, a lot better."
"I hate that you're so hard on yourself. Why don't you just ask him to the dance?"
"I can't. I can't take that chance."
"Why not? I'm pretty sure he has feelings for you. No man does the things he's done for you as a friend."
"Because the last time I took a chance, it bit me in the ass. The two people who were supposed to love me unconditionally dumped me like trash--no, worse than trash. And the worst part of that whole thing is that I still love them and I miss them every single day. And every day I wish that that wasn't my reality but it is. That's why I don't think I deserve anything, least of all to be loved. I'm worthless," I explained with tears running down my face.
"Oh honey, no." My aunt reach out and grabbed my shoulder.
"No! Don't touch me!" I yelped quickly curling up into a ball. "I don't deserve anything!"
I could feel my aunt embrace me, holding me tight. "I love you and you are loved. You have Lulu and her family, Aggie, and now Carver. So many people love you. You're not alone."
"But why not them?" I asked choking back tears.
"I don't know, I wish I could tell you."
"Well, I should get to bed, it's been a long night," I said as I wiped away my tears.
I stood up, went to my room, and climbed into bed. As I lied there after opening up to my aunt, I just stared at the yellow plaid shirt that I got from Carver months ago laying next to me. I looked at my phone and saw that I had received a message from Carver. It was the selfie of us during that night. Using my fingers, I zoomed into Carver, his face filled up my screen. I fell asleep looking at him as I held his shirt close to me.
--
It was the day before homecoming and thankfully I had calmed down after that embarrassing and overly emotional outburst I had with my aunt. I really thought I had gotten over it all but I guess I just buried it for another day. My aunt's poking and prodding brought it back from the dead. I know that wasn't her intention but now that she knows how I really feel, I feel like she's been walking on eggshells with me lately.
"Hey, do you have everything you need for homecoming tomorrow?" My aunt asked as she walked by my room.
"I was planning on just wearing something in my closet."
"But there's nothing in there but black," she said as she stepped back into my doorway. "Do you even have any dress clothes in there?"
"I have to wear dress clothes?"
"Oh you poor boy. Okay drop everything, we're going shopping."
"But the dance is tomorrow."
"You're a boy, it's not like we're getting you a dress. Unless you want a dress?"
"No, I don't want a dress. Do I look like I want to get my ass kicked by every boy in town?"
"Well not every boy."
"Okay so Carver wouldn't hurt me or Dante for that matter. I guess there are a couple of outliers in this town."
"Oh how is Dante? I haven't seen him in a while."
"I'm sure if you went to Home Sweet Home you'd see him. All the Landons work there after all."
"Okay let's stop by there after shopping today. I don't feel like cooking tonight. Plus it'd be nice to see Mama Rose again. She's always so funny."
"Well where are we going? I can't imagine any place here would have anything I would want to wear."
My assumption was right. She ended up taking me to Al's. The only dress store in town. Al also was the only tailor in town so I guess I should have known where this was going. Now I have nothing against Al. He was a jolly older white man who's hair migrated from his head to his chest. He was short, maybe five feet, with a protruding belly. He kind of reminded me of a walking bowling ball. He always wore the same baby blue polo shirt with his chest hair puffed out. I don't actually know much about Al. He just popped into town one day several years back. I don't know if was ever married, or had kids for that matter. I always just assumed he was just a loner.
"Jacquline! What are you doing here?" Al asked as he hobbled over to her to give her a bear hug. "You're not getting married are you?"
"What? No, nothing like that. I'm here with my nephew. You've probably already met," she replied as she pulled me in front of her. I just waved awkwardly. "He needs some clothes for homecoming tomorrow."
"Well you've come to the right place as I am the only place in town."
"No offense, but I don't think there's anything here that I would want to wear."
"Well, why don't you have a look around first. Then if you really can't find anything you like, I'll try to help you the best that I can. Now run along, your aunt and I have a lot to catch up on," he said as he swatted my butt.
I walked around his shop and saw a lot of really tacky dresses. I ended up grabbing a black dress shirt and black slacks that looked a little too loose on me.
"Remember Fang, you're dressing for a dance, not a funeral!" my aunt yelled from the front of the store.
God does she have eyes at the back of her head? I guess I am a little too predictable when it comes to what I wear. But black is all I like. Maybe if I had help. If Carver was here, he'd be able to find something that looked good on me. But he's probably busy prepping for homecoming too. I have only myself to rely on. I ended up dragging myself back to the front with what I already picked out.
"I thought I said not to pick all black?"
"Sorry but that's all I like."
"What about that yellow shirt?"
"What yellow shirt?"
"The one you sleep with every night. You know the one Carver--"
"Oh that shirt! What does that have to do with anything? I can't wear that to the dance."
"Well you did say you only liked black and yet you sleep with that particular shirt every night."
"Okay I get your point. But Carver isn't here right now to pick something for me to wear to the dance."
"And I wouldn't want him to be here. I'd rather you stun him with how good you're going to look at the dance. And there'd be no way in hell that he'd say no to you."
"Oh so you're a friend of Dorothy?" Al chimed in.
"Am I what now? Dorothy who?" I asked confused.
"He's just asking if you're gay and yes Al, he is."
"Oh well, I have a special back room for you. Follow me."
"Why do I get the feeling that I'm about to be recruited into some gay group right now?"
"Oh hush, let's just follow him and see what he wants to show us."
We followed Al to the back room. Once there he pulled back a curtain revealing a room filled with wigs and costume-like dresses.
"What is all of this?" I asked amazed.
"Fang, Al here is a famous retired drag queen from New York."
"New York? What are you doing here in Haven?"
"I guess you could say I wanted to retire somewhere simple. Away from the glitz and glam. Away from all the drama," Al replied.
"So why are you showing me this?"
"I figured I could help a young gay. Maybe you can find something in here that'll give you that flair that you're searching for."
Al and Aunt Jackie left me alone in Al's drag closet. It literally felt like I had stepped in a completely different world. Who knew something like this was hiding right under my nose. I stood there arms crossed. I was letting it all sink in. Have I found my fairy godmother? I stepped out of, for a lack of a better word, Al's closet without anything from that world.
"Did you find anything?" he asked.
"Well not really."
"Oh, fuck my drag right?" He said offended.
"Oh no, I-I didn't mean any offense by that. I was just wondering instead of me taking something away from you, we could collaborate on an original piece? I-I know that it's last minute with the dance being tomorrow but I didn't really see anything in there that really spoke to me. But I think with your skills--"
"Enough! Say no more. I accept your challenge."
"Wait really?" I asked surprised.
"It's not every day I get to create an original piece especially not with this crowd. I would be honored to make something special just for you."
Without thinking, I ran over to him giving him the same bear hug he had given my aunt earlier and I don't hug people voluntarily. "I-I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me."
"No worries, that's the kind of reaction that I live for," he said as pulled out a notebook and a pen. "Well let's get started."
--
"Are you sure you told Al to come here?" Aunt Jackie asked frantic. "The dance is in two hours and you're not even ready."
"Yes," I said reassuring her. I was also freaking out but we both couldn't be freaking out together. If only she knew that I was starting to crumble under all the stress of the dance. "At least I showered."
"Maybe I should I call him again, you know just to be sure he didn't get lost."
Just as my aunt started to dialing his number on her phone, the doorbell rang. My aunt swung the door open and there was Al with an overstuffed hot pink hardshell suitcase that quite frankly looked almost as tall as he was.
"You didn't tell me you had steps out front," he said out of breath, wiping the sweat off his brow. "I almost fell over lugging this thing up here. Can I get some help?"
"Oh right," Aunt Jackie said as he helped Al his things. "What's in here? It's so heavy!"
"I haven't finished everything yet. So I brought my sewing machine with me. I'm running high on caffeine right now. Sleep? I don't know her."
"What? I-I'm so sorry," I apologized.
"Oh no, I work best under pressure. Jac, get ready for Fang to bring the house down!" He exclaimed. "Okay well show me to your room. I've got work to do."
I escorted Al to my room. It was still a mess with clothes lying around all over the floor and misplaced items stacked in different spots. I would clean but then it'd get dirty again, so what's the point?
"Oh boy. You call this a room? It's more like a pig sty."
"Yeah, I don't clean."
"You don't say? Well I need a chair for you so let me see if Jac can spare a chair in here. You can start unpacking my suitcase," he said as he walked out of my room.
As I went to grab the handle to his suitcase, I too realized just how heavy this thing was. I couldn't even move it out of the doorway. I ended up leaning up against it, pushing it over resulting in a resounding thud. God what's in here? As soon as I unzipped the beast, my bedroom was flooded with different segments of fabric. Was anything done? Al came right around the corner with one of the wooden dining table chairs and set it next to me.
"Is anything done?" I asked concerned.
"It may look like a mess now but I promise you, I will get this all done. How much time do we have anyway?"
"Like an hour and a half," I said as I checked the time on my phone.
"Okay well that's not as much time as I thought, but don't worry. I got this. Well put this on first," he said as he tossed a black shirt to me.
"It...has holes?"
"It's a mesh shirt. That's how it's supposed to look. Trust me. It'll all make sense in the end." Al turned back to his suitcase to unload.
I stood and turned away from him as I slipped off my basic black tee and slipped on the black mesh. It felt weird. It was very...airy and I kinda felt naked wearing it. I sat back down in the chair as Al pulled out a bag of makeup.
"You're fine with makeup right?" he asked as he continued to dig through his bag.
"Well I've never worn makeup before. I don't know how to do any of that. But I guess I'm fine with it."
"Okay good cause your face is going to tie everything together. Well close your eyes and let me work my magic."
I've never had my makeup done before. Sure I tried to use eyeliner before I always ended up tearing up so I just quit. I wasn't sure what Al was doing to me. He was furiously beating my face with some sort of sponge, then beating my face again with a smaller pillow-like pad but with powder (I swear to god I must have inhaled some of it because I was choking on it at some point), then he had me open eyes but he kept alternating between telling me to look up and down, and at one point he had me pucker up like a fish. Makeup is torture.
"Well this has got to be the fastest makeover I've ever done before," he exclaimed. Al handed me a vial of black lipstick. "Here take this, just in case you need to reapply, and you will."
"Um okay, thanks. Do you have a mirror?"
"Yes!" Al looked at me sternly. "But I'm not done. You will get to see everything once it's all finished. How much time do we have left anyway?"
"About an hour," I replied looking at the clock above my door.
"Okay well I'm gonna take my sewing machine with me to the kitchen and sew like my life depends on it."
Al zipped his suitcase back up, carried it with one hand while carrying his sewing machine up on his shoulder with ease. I'm not sure how he does it as I couldn't even make it budge. As he opened the door, he turned back and said "Now no peeking. I don't want you to even look at your phone for the time." With that, he swiped my phone off of my desk and placed it in his back pocket. "Also make sure no one comes in here. No one gets to see the bride until she's ready."
"I'm not a bride though."
"When that boy sees the finished product, he's gonna wish you were his bride," Al said as he shut the door.
At a time like this I wish I hadn't shattered my mirror last month. I really need to stop throwing my phone around. As I sat there, head back staring at the ceiling, I heard the doorbell ring. Crap, who could that be? I hopped off my chair and peered out into the hallway, it was Carver and Lulu.
Lulu had this cute lavender A-line dress with petals running from the bodice to the tulle skirt. Gone were her braids but instead she had her caramel hair pinned high, her curls overflowing like a bed of coils with a complex-looking crown braid. She also had these cute lavender fishnet tights embellished with faux flowers with a pair of black pumps. Slap on a pair of wings and she would make one hell of a fairy. She looked very pretty--no she looked stunning standing there next to Carver.
Carver looked so handsome. He had a fitted white button up with a black tie and fitted black slacks held up with black suspenders. I could see every curve in his body with how fitted everything was. He had an ass that just wouldn't quit. I could think of a million things I could bounce off of that masterpiece.
As he stood there he kept snapping back one of his black suspender loops against his chest. He seemed a little on edge. As I observed from afar, I noticed Carver cradling something. I poked my head out just a little bit further but I didn't really support myself for a fell over into the hallway. I looked up and saw both of them jump and look in my direction. Shit I've been spotted. I quickly crept back into my room, slammed my door shut, and sat with my back against the door. Oh crap did I ruin everything? Sorry Al. As I sat there with my back against the door, someone knocked on my door.
"Hey Fang, is everything alright?"
It was Carver. Of course it was Carver.
"U-Uh yeah, everything's fine. I was just checking you out--I-I mean I was just wondering who was at the door."
"Oh alright. Wanna open the door? I have something for you."
"F-For me?" My voice squeaked. "I-I can't. Al said I can't let anyone see me. Not until everything is finished. Can you give it to me later?"
"Maybe you can crack the door open and then you can just reach around. That way nothing'll get ruined."
"Okay, that sounds fine," I sighed. Placing one hand on the door and another on the knob, I opened the door the door slightly ajar. As I reached around the door, making sure I didn't step into view, I patted around for this gift. Carver grabbed my hand and placed it in my hands. As I pulled my hand in, I pushed the door shut. Looking down at my hand, I noticed what this gift was, a bouquet of blue orchids, my favorite. But how did he know?
"I-I wanted to get you something but I didn't know what to get you so I asked your aunt. I hope that's okay. I-I know you had an allergic reaction at that flower place so I hope this is okay."
"Carver, this is--wow these are beautiful. I-I am allergic but I took my pills today so I should be fine. Thank you."
"I'm glad you like them. I only wish I could see your reaction."
"Sorry, Al's rules. But I promise, I love them. They're perfect, thank you."
"Okay move along lover boy, I've got some work to do." I could hear Al's voice right outside my room.
"S-Sorry. I'll uh see you soon, Fang."
As soon as I stepped back, Al swung the door open carrying all of my clothes over his back.
"Lucky for you, I'm a whiz when it comes to sewing. Now take off your pants," Al ordered as he slammed the door shut.
"E-Excuse me?"
"Do you want to go to the dance or not?"
"I-I mean yeah b-but--"
"Then take off your pants. There are a lot of pieces for this look and I just need you to be obedient. I'm a pro kid not some perv off the street."
Even though I was a little uncomfortable with the situation, I don't think Al was the type of person to take no for an answer. Slipping off my pants, he got to work by handing me different pieces. As I slipped on each piece he handed me, his pace quickened. At a certain point he stopped and looked annoyed. I guess it was I couldn't get dressed as fast as he wanted.
"Okay, you're a little slow. Pick it up!"
"Sorry, I'm just...a little uncomfortable."
"About what?"
"Undressing in front of other people. I just feel--"
"No need to explain. I understand. Holler for me when you're done and I'll come back in to make any last minute changes. I'll be right outside the door," Al said as he walk out and shut the door.
Finally, some time to myself. Well not too much time. I still had to get dressed. Kneeling down, I found the design that Al drew up for me yesterday. Looking over all the pieces Al had laid out, I was able to figure what exactly Al had in mind. Taking a deep breath, I dove into it.
There were about five pieces that I had to slip on that included fishnet tights, high-waisted skinny fit slacks cut off about six inches above my ankle with half an asymmetrical skirt attached to the right side and on the opposing side was a silver chain looped beside the pocket, a simple skinny black belt, and a fitted black button up shirt. Sorry Aunt Jackie, I'm wearing all black whether or not you want me to.
"Hey Al? I think I'm good now."
"Okay let's see," Al said as he reentered. He looked me up and down then scrunched his face. "While good, I think we can add just a few accessories to spice this up."
Al dug through his bag one last time and pulled out a simple black choker with a silver chain that had a coffin hanging from the center and a skull ring. He latched the choker around my neck and slipped the ring onto my right pointer finger.
"Also let's open up this shirt a little," Al said as he unbuttoned the top two buttons revealing the mesh underneath. "Trust me, lover boy is gonna be livid when he sees you."
"Um Carver and I aren't together. We're just friends," I said blushing.
"Right, well those flowers say otherwise." Al gave me another once over and then his face lit up. "I almost forgot. A girl should always wear a nice pair of heels and I wasn't sure if you could walk in heels so I got these. They seem more your style."
Al handed me a pair of black suede pointed boots that went up just above the ankle with a zipper on the side and a two inch chunky heel. There was also a gunmetal steel tip on both the tip and the heel of the boot. As soon as I zipped up the boots, I stood in front of Al.
"Well damn, do I know how to make a boy look good," Al said as he was clearly proud of his work. "Okay well I'm gonna go out there and introduce you. Then I need you to walk the house down. Get my gist?"
"Walk the house down?" I asked confused.
"I have much to teach you," Al said grabbing my shoulder. Al opened the door and walked down the hall. "Now introducing Fang--wait what's his last name? Never mind it doesn't matter. Fang, it's time!"
"Okay time to see if I've learned anything from watching America's Next Top Model," I said to myself. "I just need to believe. I can do this. Just be confident." I took a deep breath, turned at the door, and tried to channel my best Tyra Banks. As I strutted down the hall, thumbs in my pockets, I stopped in front of everyone. "So how do I look?"
"Oh my god! Fang you look so fierce!" Lulu screamed as she shook me. "And you're wearing makeup! Wait is this a skirt? Al, I'm going to need you to do me next."
"So I guess that means I look good?"
"Good?! You look like if a K-pop Star and an E-boy had a baby. This is a look and you need to keep doing this."
"T-Thank you, Lulu," I said blushing. I then turned to Carver, his mouth agape. "So...what do you think Carver? How do I look?"
"You uh...y-you look--uh y-you--"
"Use your big boy words," Lulu chimed in.
"You look really, really good," Carver said as he walked over to me.
"Really? You think so?"
Carver just stood there speechless rapidly nodding his head. Lulu then leaned over to me and whispered, "So...are you going to ask him?"
"Ask me what?" Carver asked. "I'm standing right here."
Lulu and I frozen, eyes wide open. Good going Lulu.
"U-Uh n-nothing, just girl talk," I said eyes still wide open.
"Are you guys keeping secrets from me?"
"What? NO! No, I promise it's just girl talk. Anyway uh let's take pictures. That's what people do before the dance right?" I said trying to change the subject.
"Oh right, right," my aunt said. "You three just stand next to each other."
My aunt continued to corral us into several different positions. I eventually started getting tired of it all. I mean, sure I was having fun getting my picture taken with my two best friends but I just wanted to get out of there and go.
"Okay I think that'll do for now," my aunt said as she slipped her phone back into her back pocket. "Let's get you three to the dance."
"I'll take that as my cue to head out. Excuse me lover boy, I need to say something to Fang really quick," Al said pushing Carver aside with his butt. "I just want you to know that you got this. Believe in yourself and most of all have fun. Everything happens for a reason."
Al then turned around and walked out the front door. Never in my life did I think I was going to get a motivational speech from a retired drag queen and yet here we are. With Al gone I turned my attention back to Carver but he wasn't around neither was anyone else. Did they all leave when Al was talking? Suddenly I hear the car horn outside. They all left me already. What are they? Ninjas?
I rushed out the door and found Aunt Jackie at the wheel, Lulu in the passenger seat, and Carver outside leaning against the backseat. As I walked down the steps and over to the Jeep, Lulu grabbed my arm.
"I called shotgun, but your aunt and I figured you wouldn't mind sitting in the back with you know who," she smiled and giggled. "Go on, Prince Charming's waiting."
I turn my gaze over to Carver and he just smiled my way.
"So...you ready to go?" he asked opening the door for me.
"Y-Yeah thanks," I said as I hopped into the back with Carver following me after.
As soon as we both climbed into the back, my aunt revved up the engine and sped out. During the drive, I would feel eyes on me and not the usual uncomfortable feeling but one of longing. I slowly shifted my gaze to Carver, who was already staring at me, gulped and turned away biting at his right thumb. His left hand laid open in the middle of the backseat. Slowly I crept my right hand into his left as I looked away. Maybe it was Al's motivational speech or maybe my newfound confidence but I didn't care if it was weird. To my surprise, Carver reciprocated, interlocking his fingers between mine. I didn't look at him the whole ride but we kept our hands clasped the whole time.
My aunt pulled up to the side of the school and parked.
"Okay kiddos, we're here," she said as she turned off the engine and stepped out. "I'll meet you kids in there."
"Wait, what do you mean?" I asked.
"I'll be chaperoning with some other members of the faculty. Didn't I tell you?"
"No, I think I would remember if my aunt was going to be at the dance."
"Well, I'll be around. You kids have fun. I, on the other hand, will be chatting with our favorite principal," she said sarcastically.
It was just me, Carver, and Lulu in the lot. We could see our peers walking in clumped in a pretty unorganized line outside the doors.
"I can't wait for you to see how it is inside," Lulu said as she hooked her arms between me and Carver.
We walked together up the steps, past the clump of our peers, and walked in. The entire cafeteria was adorned with the very same icicle style Christmas lights that Carver used in his iteration. There were flameless tea light candles atop of all of the lunch tables that were pushed against the walls. The only thing different was that there was a DJ and a mob of the people I despised in the center of the cafeteria. While the feeling wasn't the exact same since there were other people there to experience it instead of the intimate moment Carver and I had shared together.
"Of course I couldn't have done any of this without you two. Especially you Carver, thanks for helping me decorate this huge room."
"It's no problem. It turned out great."
"Wait where did you guys get all of these lights?"
"We had help from the whole town. I still can't believe everyone in town pitched in either. Even the Hamptons and the Foxes pitched in."
"So we're going to be dancing under their money. Great," I said rolling my eyes.
"Hey you're with us. Don't even think about them," Lulu said.
"I'm gonna go get us some drinks. I'll be right back," Carver said walking towards the punch bowl.
"So...Carver looks nice," Lulu said.
"Yeah, he does."
"So are you going to ask him out now? I saw you two holding hands in the car."
"I-I don't know."
"What do you mean you don't know? Fang, he got you flowers, he opened the door for you, and you two held hands in front of other people. This all happened today. Need I remind you that this whole dance was saved because he decided to throw you a very romantic date where you two just stargazed together? The boy likes you, so what are you waiting for?"
"I don't know. If he likes me so much, then why hasn't he asked me out? If he's doing all of this to woo me, why not say anything?"
"I--I don't know. You two are frustrating. You two are clearly a couple, just unofficially," she said frustrated. "Oh god, Brock Hampton two o'clock."
I looked in the direction she said and I saw Brock walking towards us. He was wearing a red button up with a black tie and pinstripe pants. Just like a douche, he was also wearing sunglasses inside. I tried to walk the other direction but Lulu grabbed my arm.
"You can't leave me here all by myself."
"Oh fuck, fine."
"Hey Lulu, fancy seeing you here."
"It's a dance. Of course I'd be here."
"Well, wanna dance? You're hot for a black girl," he said smugly.
"Brock, I really appreciate what your family has done for the dance but if you don't get out of my face, I will shove my heel so far up your--"
"Okay, okay god no need to be so touchy," Brock said with his hands up. "Well how about your friend here? I don't think we've met. I'm Brock, Brock Hampton," Brock said turning to me.
"Uh Brock, you don't recognize me?"
"I would never forget a pretty face such as yours."
"It's me Brock. Fang. You know the guy you hate? The gay guy."
Brock's eyes widened, his face turned bright red. Not through anger but because he was clearly embarrassed.
"What? No, no way," Brock said as he looked me up and down.
"Yeah way. How about we just forget this all happened and you can go along your merry way?"
Brock turned tail and dipped. I don't think I've ever seen him run this fast before. I definitely didn't think I'd get hit on by Brock. It's probably the makeup. I've never seen Brock show even the slightest interest in me until today.
"What was that all about? Was Brock bothering you guys?" Carver asked as he walked up with three cups of punch.
"He came over here to hit on me and then mistake Fang here for a girl," Lulu laughed taking her drink. "Well if you two will excuse me, I'm gonna go mingle."
"Hold up, Brock hit on you?"
"Yeah it was weird. I guess with the makeup, I look like a girl even more."
"You make a very pretty girl," Carver chuckled as he sipped from his cup.
"Ha ha, very funny."
"I mean it, you make a very pretty girl. I don't mean to offend. It's your thing. You're androgynous."
"Not by choice, but I guess do like it."
"So..."
"What? Something on your mind?"
"Wanna dance?"
"With me?"
"I don't see anyone else here I'd rather dance with."
"Okay!" I said as I chugged my drink and tossed it behind me. "Shit, let me get that cup first."
"Forget about it," Carver said as he pulled me onto the dance floor.
Now I'm not gonna say that I'm an expert when it comes to dancing because I'm not. At first I just there bobbing my head to the beat of the music while the rest of my body was stiff as board. It wasn't until Carver started flailing around something stupid that I really started to loosen up. We were jumping in place and and just acting ridiculous. Honestly we were a mess, but it was our mess and no one could ever take that away. It felt like we were dancing for hours but it probably for like an hour. All of a sudden the DJ changed it up and put on something slow, something for the couples.
"I guess we should stop," I said as I started to walk away.
"Hey, the night's not over. Why not stay a while," Carver said pulling me back in.
"But it's a slow song, couples only."
"I know," Carver said as he wrapped his arms around my waist.
I followed suit and wrapped my arms around his neck. We just swayed for a while. But it was pretty obvious the universe, Al, and all the women in my life were right. I should just tell him.
"Hey Carver, I need to tell you something," I confessed looking up into his gorgeous hazel eyes.
"What's up?" he answered softly.
"I-I probably should have told you this months ago but a part of me was scared you wouldn't feel the same way. I-I um--well I--fuck why is this so hard?"
"Take all the time you need, I'm not going anywhere."
"W-Well I um, I like you Carver. There's not a day that goes by where I don't think of you. You're constantly on my mind. But if you don't feel the same way I understand. I just--"
I could feel Carver put his hand on the back of my head as he pulled me in. Our lips collided into this longing kiss. I could feel my knees give way but he just held on to me tighter. It felt like an out of body experience. Carver slowly pulled away, resting his forehead on mine.
"You have no idea how long I've been wanting to do that," Carver said softly. "I like you too Fang."
"Y-You do?"
"Of course. Wasn't it obvious? Plus this isn't the first time you've told me that you like me."
"Come again?"
"Remember when we went to that party? You confessed when you were drunk. It was cute."
"I-I did what now? Wait is that what you wanted me to remember?"
"Yeah, but it's okay. You're telling me now."
"What about that night when we looked up at the stars? Were you awake during that?"
Carver chuckled and smiled. "Yeah, I was awake. I just closed my eyes for a second. Then you started talking about how felt about me. I didn't want to scare you off so I pretended to be asleep."
My eyes widened and I could feel the blood rushing to my face. "If you knew this whole time, then why didn't you ever say anything?"
"Like I said, I didn't want to scare you off. Fang, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me since I moved here. And to tell you the truth, I've never felt this way about a boy before. This is all new for me. I was scared that you'd pull away as soon as you knew. I tried to kiss you that one night but then when you pulled away, I thought I lost my shot cause I was being too pushy."
"Honestly, I thought all of your signals were all in my head. I-I've had any long lasting relationships with other guys. I never thought someone like you would even be interested in someone like me. I have all of these thoughts in my head telling me that I'm not worth it. I just second guess everything."
"Fang, I'm crazy about you."
"Really? You're not just saying that?"
"I wouldn't do any of the things that I've done for you if I didn't."
"So...does this make us um...well you know."
"Boyfriends?"
"Y-Yeah."
"There's no one I'd rather be with than you."
Pressing my forehead against his, I stared into his eyes with such admiration. I placed my hands on both sides of his face. My lips grazed his as I slowly fit our lips together into a passionate kiss. I grip around my waist tightened.
"W-What was that for?" He asked, breath shaky.
"I--I just wanted to make sure this was real. That it wasn't just all in my head."