This is a purely fictional homoerotic story. If you don't like this kind of thing, are under age or it is illegal where you are, leave this site now
Like all my stories this is copyright so no reproduction for profit.
Here is one for all you romantics. Just one tiny bit of cp, second hand, otherwise it's all cuddly stuff. Hope you enjoy it
Rent Boy
I could have wept.
As I walked into the bar I saw him. I had seen hundreds like him over the years. He was so obviously a rent boy, no more, no less. But I immediately thought he was special. His escort was old enough to be his grand father. He looked bored and I wasn't surprised. The bar was straight. He didn't know where to look. His sugar daddy was talking business to other people his own age and he was completely ignoring the boy. He was obviously miserable. Eventually I caught his eye. He returned my smile but looked away again almost immediately. I kept looking at him and knew he was aware of my stare. When he looked at me again I indicated the restrooms with my head and started to walk towards them. I had been stood at the urinal for about thirty seconds when he came in and stood next to me.
I guessed he was still in his teens, just, and his sugar Daddy, if I had read the relationship correctly was mid sixties. I was twenty-nine.
"You look thoroughly bored youngster, I wondered if you would like to go somewhere a little more exciting."
He looked up at me and said.
"I would love to but I can't."
"I'm sorry to hear that. How long are you here for?"
"I'm not sure, it depends on Harry's business negotiations. I wish I had never come now, but in cold old London, a long holiday in the sun even with an old man didn't look bad. But now, well, I'd go home tomorrow if I could."
"Why can't you?"
"I don't have any money and Harry has my return ticket."
"Can you get away from him at all during the day, or any evenings?"
"Yeah, sometimes, why?"
"I have a yacht and a car. I could take you sailing during the day and show you a little of the island as well in my car."
"Why would you want to do that?"
"Because I think you are cute and I think he is a sugar daddy that you have made a mistake with."
"So you want to take his place, just another cheap fuck for you."
He said that with a sneer which hurt.
"What's your name?"
"What's it to you?"
"Nothing except that I find it awkward talking to people when I don't know their name, I'm David."
I held out my hand and he took it after some hesitation.
"I'm Tony."
"No Tony, I don't want you for a cheap fuck. I don't like to see people unhappy. You are cute and I am Gay but I would not touch you however long you spent with me unless it was at your invitation. I'm not a predator."
He dropped his eyes from mine and mumbled.
"I'm sorry Dave, nobody ever wants me for me, always just for my body. Harry fucks me every day but that's it. I go out with him to bars and restaurants because I have no money, he made me leave mine in England. He usually shags me as soon as he wakes up in the morning. After that I can do what I like."
"Ok Tony how about we go sailing tomorrow. We can anchor in a nice bay for lunch and a swim and be back in harbour before dark. If you like you can have dinner with me in my house and I will drive you home at the end of the evening."
"I would really like that, but what do I have to do to get all that?"
"How about you promise to be yourself for the day. I don't want to see a little rent boy working out all the angles. I want to see a young man relaxing and enjoying himself. That would give me a great deal of pleasure as well."
He looked at me as though I was strange.
"Nobody does something for nothing Dave, but I would like to do all that and if it costs me a couple of shags I reckon that's worth it as long as you don't want a load of kinky stuff."
I touched his cheek gently and said,
"I'm sorry life has made you a cynic so young Tony, perhaps by this time tomorrow you will be slightly less cynical. Where shall I pick you up?"
"Here would be fine we are staying just round the corner."
"I look forward to it. Is ten ok?"
"Yeah that's fine. What's the name of your boat?"
"It's Saladin Tony, why?"
"I have to let Harry know."
With that, he left and I followed him out and then home.
I made sure that I prepared a lunch that teenagers would enjoy, with the essential Tomato Ketchup that would swamp the taste of the food, but never mind. I made sure that the fridge had a good selection of beers, wines, and spirits. At ten I was parked outside last night's bar waiting. Tony walked round the corner looking even cuter than last night. Tight T-shirt, beach shorts not too loose or long, trainer socks and white trainers. He saw me straight away and jumped in.
"Hello Dave, I didn't think you would be here."
"Why did you come then?"
He was flustered and I laughed. I patted his thigh and said.
"It's ok Tony, just me. How are you?"
"Great, I don't care what you do to me as long as we get a good day out of it."
I pulled over to the side of the road, anger rising in me. I grabbed his face between my hands and turned it so that he was looking in my eyes.
"Now you listen to me. You are going to spoil today for both of us if you don't stop this. I am not going to touch you as far as sex goes today, do you understand me?"
"Yeah, sorry Dave."
He didn't sound convinced.
"How old are you Tony?"
"I'm twenty two."
"Well you are a lucky guy, I thought you were seventeen or eighteen may be. I'm only seven years older than you."
"Yeah I guessed, how come you can afford to live out here then?"
"Oh I'm lucky. I run a computer outfit in England but I can manage it from here most of the time. I spend about half the year here and the other half in London."
"Wow, that's really cool."
"I think so too because I love to sail in these waters."
The day went perfectly, I handled `Saladin' by myself with Tony looking on in wonder. We had a good Easterly wind not too strong. Two hours after leaving harbour we dropped anchor in my favourite bay about fifty yards from shore, I had a remote control windlass so after I had hauled in the sails I just ran forward to release the anchor securing line. I was towing my dinghy with outboard engine attached and we used that to explore the coves around the bay.
Tony was not a beauty, just cute, but when he came on deck ready for a swim I gasped. He was wearing low-slung swimming briefs. His body was well formed with small nipples set in cute little aureoles. Tiny waist, slim hips cute butt and a tidy package that might herald a most enjoyable penis. I gasped.
"What's the matter Dave?"
He was looking very nervous.
"Sorry Tony, you took me by surprise. You have a lovely body and I'm sorry I should not have said that. Please forget it. I'll go and change if you give me a minute and we can go swim together."
I had confused him I know and undone a lot of my good work in convincing him he could afford to relax.
I brought big towels with me and left them near the deck shower for when we returned. The water was wonderful and Tony had a ball diving off my swim platform down to the coral only a few feet below my keel. I had anchored in sand and then dropped back over the coral. Hundreds of small fish swam around us and he played like a two year old. He was a delight to watch. When he started to tire, I suggested we stop for a while and have a drink and some lunch.
What a surprise he was. He had quite sophisticated taste enjoying the lunch immensely and with no Ketchup. He knew quite a lot about wine too.
"This is a sauvignon isn't it Dave?"
"Yes it is Tony, It's a Fetzer."
"Oh Californian wine. It's very crisp I like it. Goes perfectly with the Gambas."
"Yes it does but we call them shrimp out here, silly I know considering their size. Where did you learn about food and wine?"
"Oh, I had a sugar Daddy for about a year who taught me. I think I was some kind of project for him. You know like Lisa in My Fair Lady. When I was good he just ditched me and that was when I became a rent boy."
"I'm sorry to hear that. What would you like to do given the chance?"
"I don't know really. Something to do with food and wine I guess but starting at the bottom in a kitchen would drive me crazy I know and I don't know how to get into the wine trade in any meaningful position."
"You are quite eloquent Tony, you can talk to people and you already know quite a lot about wine. Why don't you try one of the big wine shippers? One of them might be prepared to take you on as an apprentice sommelier or something like that."
"I wouldn't know how to begin Dave. I can make quite good money as a rent boy; perhaps I'll stick with it until I have enough money saved to try something like that."
"A bit demeaning isn't it, sleeping with someone like Harry just for money?"
"Yeah, I guess so but he pays me a 100 a day plus my living and it's all tax free."
"I can't imagine having sex with someone that I didn't know and like, but I'm not passing judgement Tony, every man to his own."
"Do you have to pay for sex Dave, out here or in England?"
"No to both. I could not imagine paying someone to give me pleasure. It does appeal from the point of view that you don't have any complications, but I love sex and to enjoy it I have to be doing it with someone I fancy and like and who likes me as well."
"Would you enjoy sex with me?"
"Yes, I would love to have sex with you, but I'm not going to. Not today any way."
"Why not?"
"Because I think it would be taking advantage of you when I have promised not to touch you in that way."
"Supposing I said I wanted you to."
"I would be flattered and I would say let's wait and see how we feel tomorrow or the next day. Today let's just enjoy each others company."
"Would you be able to say no if I took my trunks off and started to play with myself?"
"I doubt it because you are really delightful to look at, but I hope you won't. I think it would spoil something special."
"What do you mean spoil something special?"
"I have been watching you since I picked you up this morning and it has been a pleasure for me. I would like us to become friends and may be then look at the possibility of sex, but I don't want you to make my carnal desires take over now."
"Wow, you like to make your life complicated don't you? You could have a good shag and all it would have cost you is lunch."
"I know, but if I fucked your brains out now would you respect me or want to be my friend tomorrow?"
"Probably not."
"QED."
"What does that mean?"
"It's Latin, Quad Erat Demonstrandum. It means it has been proven. I want your respect and your friendship. Our conversation has proved that having sex with you today won't achieve that. But can I kiss you before we go exploring?"
"Yeah ok."
I took his face in my hands and gave him a very soft kiss on the lips.
He looked very surprised as I pulled away and said,
"Is that it?"
"Yes, unless you would like another."
"I'd like another."
I gave him another, making it last longer and being a little more assertive with it. His lips were so soft and welcoming, I knew I would not stop after three so I stopped.
"That was nice Dave, can we keep doing that for a while?"
"No, two has already had a very disruptive effect on my lower regions."
He looked down and saw my erection, laughed and said.
"That looks really good, can I play with it?"
"Tomorrow, come and explore with me now."
"Oh, ok spoil sport. By the way, you are a cool kisser."
"Well thank you young Sir."
We had lots of fun for the remainder of the afternoon, we snorkelled near the headland, dived on the wreck at the centre of the bay and lost badly in the race to catch a turtle that popped up near us once. I started to teach him how to sail on the way home and he loved it. Seeing him laughing was special, he had looked so vulnerable, now he looked as though he was enjoying himself. I couldn't believe he was twenty-two. He helped me prepare dinner when we got home and made my meal a pleasure just having him there. I realised how lonely I was.
When I dropped him off, I felt jealous that Harry was going to fuck him in the morning. Stupid, I had no rights on this boy.
"Would you like to do something with me tomorrow Tony? We can sail or we can explore the island in my Jeep."
"I don't mind which Dave, but I would like to be with you tomorrow, same time?"
"Yes, no problem. Goodnight Tony and thank you for today, I enjoyed your company."
"Goodnight Dave and thank you for keeping your word."
I slept badly. I wanted this boy but I didn't want him to think I was just after him for sex.
I didn't have time to prepare anything the next morning. My assistant in London rang with a serious problem and I worked my butt off trying to solve it. I rushed to pick up Tony knowing that I would probably not be able to do anything with him.
"Good morning sunshine, how are you today?"
I had pulled up alongside him as I said it. He jumped, saw me and smiled.
"Hello Dave, I'm fine."
He hopped in the car and said,
"What did you call me sunshine for?"
"Because that is what you are for me. You brought sunshine back into my life yesterday for which I thank you."
"Wow, that's the nicest thing any one has said to me ever."
"Seriously."
"Seriously."
"Well the people you have been mixing with are seriously deficient in the observation stakes. I'm sorry Tony I don't know what if anything we are going to do together today. I have a problem with my company and I don't know how long it will take to sort. I can set you up on the deck to do some sunbathing and I'll hope to get finished quickly."
"I don't mind Dave. Is there anything I can do?"
"I don't think so except keep my coffee cup full."
"No problem. But each one will cost you a proper kiss."
"Do you mean that?"
"Yes I like you kissing me."
"Ok I can handle that."
It was mid afternoon by the time I had finished. Tony had brought me several coffees and a couple of sandwiches at lunchtime. He had also received a few very passionate kisses that we both obviously liked.
I found him on one of my sun beds, on his back asleep. I kissed him softly on the lips but he didn't stir so I kissed each of his nipples, he moaned but that was it, so I took one of his nipples in my mouth and bit it very gently. He moaned again but woke up this time.
"Mmm, that's nice David would you like to keep doing that?"
I kissed his nose and looked into his eyes, they were a lovely green and they were sparkling, it made him look almost beautiful.
"I would love to keep doing that Tony and lots more besides."
"Please David I want you to. Please make love to me. No one has for years."
I was amazed.
"Have none of your clients ever made love to you."
"No, they expect me to satisfy them but most don't even bother to let me have an orgasm."
"Crikey you are such a delight to look at and when you smile all I want to do is make you happy to keep you smiling. Let's go up to my bedroom and I promise to make love to you to the very best of my ability."
"Mmm, that sounds nice."
I took him in my arms as we entered the bedroom and started kissing him. I didn't want to stop and do any thing else his lips were so soft and responsive. When we started French kissing it was even better. His tongue was everywhere inside my mouth, and mine in his. It was fun running my tongue over his rows of lovely even white teeth. Eventually I pulled away and lowered him onto my bed.
"Don't you want me to take my trunks off Dave?"
"No lover I'll do that when I need to."
He looked a little bemused. I suppose the normal routine was to strip him make him test his sucking ability and then fuck him. Later he told me I had it right.
I continued kissing his face while my hands roved over his body but not touching anything still covered, much as I wanted to dive onto a cock that looked impressive, as like me he was fully erect. Nipples are always so erotic to play with and nearly always the recipient loves it as well. Tony was no exception and I kissed and nibbled his for ages. He was moaning softly, squirming around on the bed as his senses went into overdrive. I eventually continued down licking his belly button and on down to kiss and lick round the waistband of his trunks. I bypassed his trunks carrying on down his inner thighs to his feet. They were not at all musty, I guessed he had showered after sex with Harry, so I sucked on his toes letting my hands wander back up his legs caressing his inner thighs. I looked up and realised he had stopped moaning but was watching me and panting quietly. I smiled at him and started to move back to his crutch. I took his cock in between my lips through his trunks and bit on it gently cupping his ball sac at the same time. He was rigid and as soon as I lifted the waistband three or four inches shot out.
"Lift your bottom Tony, let's get rid of these."
He did, I pulled the trunks off and just looked before plunging down and taking him in my mouth in one go. I pulled off immediately and just licked his head and the underside of his shaft until his panting got louder and he said.
"I'm nearly cumming Dave." So I stopped and returned to his mouth.
"You are delightful lover and your cock is perfect."
I slid back down his body kissing as I went until I reached his balls that I nearly sucked out of their sac. Parting his legs I slid between them raised them and tackled his pinky. It was cute, like his nipples there was no puckering, just a pink aureole surrounding the entrance that looked a little swollen. I guessed Harry was a bit rough, quite big or both. I kissed and licked it for a little while getting all the right responses from Tony before returning to his cock and balls determined to give him a super orgasm. Sucking, licking and kissing for another few minutes brought him to the brink so I took his cock all the way into my mouth and sucked hard a few times. He bucked violently and shot deep into my throat with several powerful blasts. As he calmed down, I withdrew from his cock licking up the entire residue of cum as I went. It tasted as sweet as he did. I lay beside him and cuddled him.
"That was wonderful lover, your body is a delight to play with."
"Thank you Dave, that was awesome. No one has ever made love to me like that, but you haven't cum. You can fuck me now if you want to."
"Hey kiddo, get over this obsession with fucking. I will one day. Your pinky looks swollen, I didn't want to cause you any pain so I left it."
"It doesn't matter Dave, Harry hurts me every time he shags me. He's very rough and he uses spittle instead of proper lubricant."
"Yeah I guessed you were sore as well as swollen. He wants fucking with a baseball bat for hurting you."
"Let me give you a blow job Dave at least."
"Yes I'd like that, your lips are so soft to kiss you can probably make me cum in about 30 seconds flat."
He laughed as he was pulling my shorts and briefs off and said, "Let's see shall we."
I'm not sure it took 30 seconds, I was so aroused already almost pouring pre-cum.
He cleaned me up the same as I had him and snuggled back into my arms.
"I don't think it is going to get any better than this Tony, I can't imagine fucking you while Harry is leaving you in such a state every day. Can't you make him be a bit more considerate?"
"I've tried but he doesn't listen."
"How long have you been here Tony?"
"Ah, four days, why?"
"Do you think you could get your ticket off Harry and leave him? Tell him that the price of the ticket is what he already owes you so you are quits."
"Yeah he might go for that I know he thinks I'm a bit of an embarrassment around his friends. Then I could go home straight away."
"I was thinking more in terms of you moving in with me."
"Are you serious Dave?"
"Yes I am. I couldn't pay you 100 a day but I could keep you and give you some pocket money."
"I would love that, I think you are such a cool guy, I would stay as long as you wanted me."
"Shall we try it, now? I'll come with you if you are worried how he might react."
"No that's ok, will you drive me back and wait. If I'm not back with you in ten minutes you will know he said no. I don't think he will knock me about though."
"Alright but I want your villa number just in case I don't see you out any where tonight."
"Thanks Dave."
"I'll also give you my `phone number here and in England just in case because I really would like to see you again."
"That's cool, I think you are great, I hope I can join you. Let's go shall we?"
So we did and I suffered a thousand deaths waiting for him. It seemed like an age, it was in fact twenty minutes I realised, I just hadn't wanted to leave. When he came back he was crying. He winced when he tried to sit down. I didn't want to think about what Harry had done but I had to.
"What is it Tony, what did he say what did he do to you?"
Through his tears, he told me that Harry reckoned the difference between the ticket price and what he owed him was about 200 so he could go with the ticket but he was going to take the 200 out of his backside.
"He took my shorts and trunks off, put me over his knee and laid into me with a flip flop. It hurt so much Dave and I thought he was never going to stop. I couldn't get away from him because of the way he held me. It's really sore Dave."
I took him in my arms, stroked his hair and face gently trying to calm him down.
"Ok youngster, I'm going to take you home get you sorted and then I am coming back here to beat that shit to within an inch of his life."
"No Dave, leave him alone. I have everything and I don't want you getting into trouble."
When we got back to my place and I had him naked on my bed on his tummy I cried. His bottom was already blue and purple as the bruising formed I covered it in a salve and then kissed him for ages until he fell asleep.
How could any one hurt an adorable kid like Tony? Why were so many people in this world evil? I could no more hurt him than fly to the moon. I left him sleeping while I did some work, looking forward to having company for a little while. May be if I was lucky, for a long while.
It was several days before the soreness abated enough for him to sit comfortably, so we stayed around the house him sunbathing, sometimes with me but frequently with me working and him supplying me with coffee every hour. At night we snuggled up together, him wrapped around me so that his bum was not touching the bed. He was delightful. I knew I was falling in love with him and that could be dangerous for my equilibrium.
On the fourth day, he asked me to make love to him.
"Dave my bottom is ok now. Will you please make love to me properly, I want to feel your cock inside me."
So I did. I repeated what I had done to him before, but instead of letting him cum I kept him on the boil for ages. I licked and sucked and kissed his now perfect little pinky, all be it surrounded by bruised flesh, but his anus was not swollen any more and when I opened him up there was no sign of any rawness. I lubed him generously and started to finger fuck him while I continued sucking and kissing his cock and balls. He was squirming, panting, and gasping for me to fuck him. I did eventually and was delighted to see him have three orgasms one after the other while I fucked him forever. Long slow strokes, short fast ones all the time rolling my hips as well, my own orgasm was incredibly intense when it happened, I was in heaven. His chest and belly were covered in his cum and there was some on his face as well. I leant forward and licked his face clean while supporting myself on my elbows. I remained inside him until my erection was gone and then rolled over to lie beside him.
"That was wonderful lover, definitely worth waiting for. How are you feeling?"
"I think I have died and gone to heaven Dave, I don't think sex will ever be better than this. Why has no one made me feel like this before?"
"I don't know Tony. It probably has something to do with the way I feel about you that no one else has."
"How do you feel about me Dave?"
I rolled up on to one elbow so that I could look him straight in the eyes.
"I'm falling in love with you. I don't want this to be just a holiday romance."
He started to cry softly burying his head in my chest.
"You shouldn't say that. No one has ever said that to me before. You don't have to say those kind of things, I'll still let you fuck me whenever you like if I can stay here with you for a little while."
What the hell was the matter with this boy he was obsessed with the idea that he was only good for a shag. I pulled away from him.
"Now you listen to me. I am not going to fuck you again until you tell me that you believe that I love you. I do and I want to talk about the possibility of you living with me in London, but we can't do that while you think the only thing I want is your arse, cute as it is."
I was angry and he could see it. I dragged my shorts on went down to the terrace picking up a stiff brandy as I went. What do I have to do to convince this boy that I want him for himself, not just for his arse?
He came to join me still naked and sat at my feet. Looking up at me, he said.
"I'm sorry Dave. I have never known love. I can't even remember anyone cuddling me as you do before and after sex. Since I was ten the only men in my life have just fucked me. My Dad, my Uncles and Cousins and then a long stream of men wanting sex for a payment."
I couldn't believe it, I pulled him up so that he was curled up on my lap. I stroked his hair and face and whispered to him.
"I'm sorry Tony, I had no idea. I think that is truly horrendous. You must have been devastated when your own father raped you. I am so sorry, I can understand why you think the only thing I want from you is sex. The sex today was wonderful, and I hope we can have lots more of it, but I would like you to come and live with me as my friend, you don't even have to indulge in sex with me if you don't want to. My growing love for you isn't conditional. I love you for you and that's that."
I could see the confusion and disbelief in his eyes. I kissed them both, then his lips.
"I don't expect you to understand yet. I am here for another month, will you stay with me and fly back to England with me."
"Yes, if you really want me to."
"Will you also come and live with me in my flat in Lancaster Gate. You can even have your own bedroom if you want to.
He started to cry as he replied. "You wouldn't wind me up on this Dave would you?"
"I promise, please try to understand my feelings for you are real."
I think he must have overloaded emotionally because he just switched off. I carried him up to bed, covered him with a light sheet and left him while I returned to the terrace to think.
It was dark when he surfaced and I was still sitting on the terrace. He came up to me and kissed me gently on the cheek.
"I think I want to go home tomorrow Dave, to England."
So it was my turn. I started to cry, gentle sobs at first and then gut wrenching ones.
"What is it Dave, please don't cry."
"I'm sorry, I have never had a real lover before and I know I love you. You are going to leave me before I have even really had the chance to know you."
"Oh." was all he said before leaving me.
He came back a few minutes later, turned on the terrace light and placed a brandy and dry in my hand, made exactly how I had taught him.
He sat down as well and looked at me still crying softly.
"I don't understand Dave, why would you want to cry over me. I'm not worth it, I'm only a shag and I am sure you could get plenty of them."
"You're right, you don't understand. You have no concept of what love is. I frighten you don't I, because I don't make any sexual demands of you. I promise I won't ever Tony, please just stay. I have only just found you, I don't want to lose you now."
"Are you telling me that if I stay you won't touch me in a sexual way unless I ask you to?"
"Yes, of course I want to make love to you because you are so cute and sexy but I would sooner be celibate and keep you than have sex with you and lose you. Please stay Tony, please give me a chance to show you what love is."
"I'm sorry Dave this is all too much for me I don't know what to do. I like you, you are good to me and you are a gentle lover but why should I believe you are going to stay that way. When anyone has been even mildly nice to me before I have ended up in bondage being gang raped, I guess I'm a bit cynical and think it could happen again."
"I'm sorry Tony, move into my second bedroom. The door has a lock you can feel secure when you are asleep and I don't go in for bondage or beating and definitely not rape. I won't even kiss you if you don't want me to, anything, you make the rules and I will stick to them."
"Ok, I'll stay for a little while, can I move my stuff into the other bedroom? Will you promise not to touch me at all for now?"
"Yes to both. Let me go and make up the bed then you can move your gear while I do dinner, or would you like to go out to eat tonight.?"
"Can we?"
"Of course."
Over dinner we chatted, I found out a lot more about him. He kept his gear at his Mother's house but seldom slept there. He had two uncles and three male cousins who had all raped him at different times from the age of ten. He had started selling his body when he was fourteen and had never had a tender or loving relationship. The odd boyfriend he had had abused him and treated him like an animal. He was intelligent enough to have eight GCSE's with A or B passes. He didn't play much sport and he wasn't into the Muscle Mary thing but liked to keep his body in shape with the odd workout. He had no real idea where his life was going and he had never considered a loving and caring relationship, it was outside his knowledge base.
I told him about me. Loving parents, no siblings. Good degree in computing, Dad's money set me up in business but I had repaid all of it within three years and was now comfortable. Loved sailing and my 40 ft sloop `Saladin' was my pride and joy. Worked out in the gym four times a week and liked my body as it was. Spread my time between my flat in Lancaster Gate and my villa here. My assistant had been a year behind me at university and we were in a profit sharing scheme that kept him motivated and my company safe when I was out here. A few boyfriends but none that I had loved, hence, my desperation earlier when I thought I was going to lose him so soon after finding him.
Dinner was good we had a wine that Tony chose and tasted properly before it was poured.
"You have no idea how even simple things you do give me such pleasure."
"Uh, what do you mean?"
"Watching you choose and taste the wine. You did it with just the right amount of aplomb."
He smiled at me and I reached across and touched his hand gently. He pulled it back suddenly and I gasped.
"I'm sorry Tony, I wasn't thinking. It was just a natural affectionate gesture on my part. Please forgive me I'll try not to do it again."
I had tears in my eyes, this was going to be so hard I wanted to touch him all the time.
He looked flustered. Looking down at the table, he mumbled.
"That's ok."
The atmosphere was ruined and we left as soon as we finished eating. I offered him a night-cap when we arrived home but he said he would like to go to bed he needed to think. I told him I would just check his bathroom, which I had forgotten to do earlier, and then I would leave him. I remembered I had wanted to give him my two business cards, here and London so I slipped them into the side pocket of his grip while I checked his bathroom. May be I had a premonition.
I slept badly, but obviously not badly enough because I didn't hear him leave.
The next morning when I woke up he was gone. I spent the whole day at the airport hoping that I would see him leaving. I didn't know his last name so I couldn't check to see if he was on any flight. I did the same thing for two more days and checked hotels and guesthouses on my mobile while I waited. He had effectively vanished. I was devastated. Twenty-nine years old and crying myself to sleep each night was self-destructive so I flew home.
Todd was surprised to see me and I unloaded on him. He knew I was gay and we had a loving relationship but only as friends. We had never had anything resembling sex. He was very straight.
"His life must have been hell Todd, no affection and raped continuously since he was ten. I have to find him."
For the next month, I haunted the London bars that were the places rent boys frequented. I asked about Tony, describing him but any one that knew him said they had not seen him for months. I was in the depths of the worst depression I had ever known I cried all the time. Nothing helped. I hardly knew the boy but I was lost without him. I remembered every little detail of every minute I had spent with him. I lost weight and I lost interest in my work. Todd was my anchor, he jollied me along and looked after my company.
I had been home nearly two months, it was the end of May and we were having a glorious spring. There was a knock on my door one evening and I thought it was the lady below me because I had not been buzzed on the entry phone. I opened it and Tony was stood there. Stupid so and so, I just burst into tears and almost crushed him in a bear hug.
"Steady boy, does this mean I am welcome?"
I moved back and looked in his eyes, they were sparkling. I looked him up and down and he looked terrific. I invited him in, gave him a drink and sat opposite him just staring at him through my tears.
"I'm sorry Dave, I just came round to see if you were still interested in me. I guess your tears answer that question. You really do love me don't you?"
I laughed and cried at the same time as I said.
"Of course I do you idiot. Love isn't something you switch on and off like a light bulb."
He dropped to his knees in front of me and looked searchingly at me, all over, my face particularly.
"Have you been sick Dave?"
"Only love sick, but I promise I will get better very quickly if you are coming back into my life."
"I'm thinking about it, but before I make any final decision do you think you could make love to me tonight. I haven't had sex since you made love to me in Antigua and I am really horny?"
He was laughing. My face must have been a picture.
"Not funny, I haven't even had an erection since you left me."
"Are you serious?"
"Yes I'm serious. When you left I hunted for you for a week checking every flight out and every hotel on the island. I came home a month early and trawled every bar in town that I thought you might go to. I have cried myself to sleep every night since you left. Please don't fuck with my emotions any more, I love you and want to spend the rest of my life showing you how much. Please stay or go Tony but don't play with me."
He looked shocked and in a very quiet voice, he said to me.
"I'm sorry Dave, I can't even begin to imagine someone loving me that much."
"Don't try Tony, just come and experience it. Move in here. Take the second bedroom to start with if you want to but please just stay. Same rules if you want. I won't touch you without your say so."
"I'll stay Dave, I like you very much. Teach me how to love, show me how much you love me. You can touch me any time you like and I want to stay in your bed, not the second bedroom.
I just passed out, the release of tension was too much. When I came to Tony had my head in his lap and a cold compress across my forehead. The look on his face was a picture. Not quite terror but he was sure as hell not pleased to have me pass out on him.
"I'm ok Tony, you were just too much for me."
I settled down and he asked if he could go down to the lobby for his cases. He had come prepared. When everything was done, we settled down with drinks and I started in on him.
"Why did you walk out on me in Antigua and where did you go?"
"I couldn't handle all that love you were throwing at me, I was suffocating. I caught the first Caribbean Star flight out and worked my way back to London."
"Ok. What have you been doing since you came back?"
He dropped his eyes and almost whispered.
"Trying to make sure when I came back to you that you would be proud of me."
"I love you you idiot, I will always be proud of you whatever you do. You still don't understand love Tony do you? It isn't conditional. It isn't, I love you when you are good, it isn't, I love you when you let me fuck your brains out. It's I love you, no ifs buts or maybes. I love you, I love you, I love you. Do you understand me?"
"No, I have nothing in my life to prepare me for that kind of commitment. I want to Dave, I truly do like you enormously and I trust you to be good to me but if I lost you tomorrow I wouldn't fall apart. My emotions can't handle the feelings you have for me. They are awesome. Give me time, I want to feel something hugely special with you."
"Ok so you came back because you reckon you have done something to make me proud of you. What?"
"I have a proper job. I am learning about wines working for the senior vintner in the Sunday Times Wine Club. The pay isn't bad and I have already been to France with him twice tasting new wines for the club."
"Tony that is wonderful, congratulations. Where were you living before tonight?"
"With Mum, I told her I would either be back tonight or I would come back for the remainder of my stuff tomorrow. Can I really stay here forever Dave? You really do want me?"
I moved across the room and took him in my arms.
"Yes lover, more than anything else in the world."
I didn't shag him for more than a week. We had some truly wonderful sex but I would not shove my dick up his arse. That was all he knew and I wanted him to understand that I could want him without that. Eventually he wanted it more than I did and he nearly screamed the house down begging me to fuck him, so I did. That was the beginning of his recognition of love. I even managed to persuade him to reverse roles and shag me, he loved it, he was just like a kid with a new toy when he put his cock inside me.
I genuinely felt his orgasm as he pumped into me. When he fell forward onto my chest afterwards I whispered to him.
"Now you know why I love to do it to you. But it would not be even half as good if I just raped you. That's why I don't understand the men that you have been with."
Life became good again, I very quickly returned to normal, Tony came to the gym with me most times but didn't work out seriously as I did. We usually went for a drink afterwards. He liked us to occasionally go to his old haunts so that he could flaunt me in front of the other rent boys he used to work with, but most times we drank at straight bars near the gym or the flat. I had my Friend, my Companion and my Lover all in one very cute package. I was called Cradle Snatcher a few times, in fun from friends, in envy or anger from strangers. Did I care? Did I hell. I was in love with a very cute guy who was learning to love me as well. Life didn't get any better than this.