Well here I am, a tormented middle-aged married man. Tormented because I failed to make up my mind a long time ago that I really liked guys more than girls, but the story of how I got here and what happened along the way will have to wait for another day. For now what matters is that, while I try hard to stay married and keep everyone happy, what makes me most happy is to be in the arms of another man. That leads to some interesting situations, to say the least!
Believe it or not, I managed to make it to the age of 40 without ever watching a porno flick-- either gay or straight! I know, what a prude, but hey, what can I say. I had finally reached the breaking point and decided I needed to see some hot man-to-man action on screen, but how?
Now this is where I got really stupid. Usually us closeted guys are very careful, but every once in a while I get pushed over the edge and take unbelievable chances. I was in the local video store one morning and it was deserted except for one, male, and pretty cute attendant. What an opportunity I thought, as my lust took over my thinking. As I wandered past the entry to the back room where they keep the good stuff I thought, what the hell? I ducked around the corner and there spread before me was an awesome array of disappointing straight porno! None of it did much for me, but then I spotted it, one lonely gay title hidden among the others. Did I dare? In an instant of stupid bravery, I grabbed it on marched up to the counter.
As I laid it on the counter it was obvious to the attendant what I had. Suddenly, I realized two things, first that I was "found-out" and really stupid, but then something else dawned on me. The guy behind the counter was acting different, but not in a bad way. All of a sudden he seemed friendlier, and almost, but no it couldn't be. My gay-dar is not very good (hell, if it was I wouldn't be married), but could he be sending me signals? There was that slight inflection in his voice, the lingering look, the extra effort at friendliness and then the fleeting caress of his hand as we exchanged money. At that point I was too scared to make a move other than out the door with my prize, but I can't wait until the next time I see him alone in the video store-- who knows?
. . . more to come. . . I hope?