Hey guys... im sooooo sorry its taken this long to finish it but ive been on holidays and there's a boy.... anyway! its a bit of a boring chapter but im am still having issues with it so if anyones got some ideas i would love to hear them! and if i havent emailed u back yet im sorry im not the most reliable emailer! but i will try to get to it soon! dane xx
Rian Chapter 12
It was like emerging from a dream when the time arrived in which both Rian and Jake had to leave Julian's house.
"Stay for a bit. We'll go for a drive and then I'll drop you back home."
Rian looked at Jake and found he couldn't say no. He smiled although it was tempered with a look of resignation. He would get in trouble for this.
Jake once again found himself worrying as he saw the look on Rian's expressive face. That was often a problem for Rian, he couldn't help showing his emotions and had only recently learnt that he needed to guard those expressions.
They drove towards the beach. "Where's the best spot to go?" Jake grinned at Rian.
Rian feeling suddenly exposed to the realities of his controlled life had lost his earlier happiness. He shrugged. "No idea."
Jake frowned. "Rian. I need you to talk to me. What's going on? You look really unhappy. Are your grandparents treating you ok?"
Rian glared at him. "You think I'm lying to you?"
"God! I don't think you're lying! But there are things you're not saying. Anyone could see that." Jake was nervous. He could see Rian getting angry and frustrated.
"Its none of your business really is it? I'm already getting my dad in trouble. You want me to get my grandparents in trouble too!" Rian could feel an irrational anger build up. Maybe if he had just spoken to his father. Or what if his dad went to counseling. But they had forced him to press charges. His dad might go to jail because of him.
"Sorry to say this but your dad deserves it. He hurt you so bad. Fathers aren't meant to do that." Fear was pressing into Jake's stomach. This wasn't going well.
"He's still my dad! You made me, you and Gus and Tristian made me report it! Take me home, I'm sick of this you shouldn't have come down here all you want to do is make things worse for me!" Rian felt tears pinch at his eyes. In the back of his mind he knew this was irrational and completely wrong but he couldn't stop it.
"Rian! You can't think that!" Jake pulled the car over to the side of the road so he could face Rian.
"Take me home."
"Look at me!" Jake demanded.
Rian couldn't do it. He was ashamed. Angry. Bordering on hysteria. Jake sighed and pulled back into traffic. "Where do I go?"
"Drop me off just up here. I'll walk."
Jake tried not to cry. What now? Tristian had warned him that Rian might react weirdly to his sudden appearance. It had started so well.
Rian himself was trying to stop the occasional tear from squeezing out. His heart felt like it was having palpitations. It was best this way. When Jake stopped the car Rian got out immediately. Jake quickly followed. He pulled Rian around to face him but the black haired boy was staring intently at his shoes.
Jake sighed. "I know you're angry but I still don't regret coming down here. I wish it could have ended better but^Å I'll be waiting for you when you decide to call. No matter what you may think at the moment, I still care for you very much. So do Trist and Gus. We can't wait until you come back to us."
Jake stroked Rian's cheek and was heartened when the other boy didn't move away. He didn't look at him either. Rian stood silently, listening as Jake got back into the car and drove away.
The following day at school, Julian cornered Rian. With a quirky smiled on his face he asked. "So did you guys do the dirty?"
Rian was still raw about what had happened the day before and glared at Julian. "Do you always have to know everything?"
"Ok. Right." Julian tried to hide the hurt he felt from his face. "Um, did you do your English homework?"
"Fuck!" Rian swore. Of course he hadn't. He had spent all night brooding, something he was becoming increasingly proficient at. He had made it home in time. Had been allowed dinner which he could barely eat. How could he have said those things to Jake? He didn't really think that Jake had forced him to do anything. He felt no loyalty towards his father. He didn't even know where those thoughts had come from. He knew he should call Jake and apologise but perhaps it was better to keep him at a distance for the time being.
That line of thinking didn't comfort him one bit but Rian decided to ignore that.
Julian watched his friend storm off. Shit his brilliant cheer up plan had backfired.
The date of the trial was set three days after Rian's final exam, less than four weeks away. Rian was finding he had to study a lot to stay on top and was kinda glad he wasn't allowed a social life outside of school.
Over the next week Rian and Julian patched up their differences but Rian remained tight lipped about what had happened with Jake. The stress he was under was building dramatically. It was beginning to show physical signs. Rian looked like he hadn't slept in days. Julian knew that something much more than the VCE was weighing on his mind.
Despite the fact that Rian hadn't called or emailed Jake, he received constant emails from the boy. None of them mentioned what had happened just little tidbits of news from back home. Tristian's emails were also casual but still showed signs of how worried he was for Rian. He knew his best friend would be freaking out at the moment an while he didn't know exactly what had happened between Jake and Rian he could guess at the mental agony Rian's overactive brain would be going through.
That Saturday Rian's grandmother called him into the study. Elizabeth and George had come to the realization that Rian would be unlikely to say anything favourable about his father at the trial. Unless they could somehow influence him.
The lawyer they had hired to defend their son advised them to send Rian to a councilor so that he could be made to understand that his father had gone through a breakdown and his action, while unfortunate were the result of a loss of control and temporary sanity. The lawyer hoped to get him off the charges of battery of a minor on psychological grounds with promises of continual psych evaluation and anger management programs.
Rian was informed that he would be attending counseling sessions, that he had no choice in the matter. Flashes of past counseling sessions whirled in his brain. Fighting back tears Rian merely nodded.
The first session was on Monday after school. Rian was dreading it so much he could hardly concentrate all day. The sight of his grandmother waiting for him at the gates sent his stomach churning and his heart pounding. He had no doubt that these sessions were not for his own mental well being.
The councilor was a woman this time. She came out to greet them as they stood in the reception.
"Hi! My name's Nicole. Martin wasn't able to make it in today for personal reasons so he asked me to fill in. I hope that's ok with you?"
Rian's grandmother narrowed her eyes at the woman. "Our lawyer arranged it with Martin. He knows the situation."
Nicole smiled politely at the domineering old woman. "Well, like I said, he couldn't make it. This way Rian, f you please."
Rian hurried after her before his grandmother could raise any more objections. Nicole didn't seem too bad.
"Do you want anything to drink?" Nicole asked the silent and sad looking boy before her. She motioned towards a seat after Rian shook his head.
He sat down and looked at her with weary eyes. "Is this where you're going to tell me I'm not gay?"
Nicole sighed, disturbed that a councilor had possibly said this to the boy. "No of course not. More than 10% of the world's population is same-sex orientated. But lets start there. When did you realize you were gay?"
Rian gave her a penetrating look. He shrugged after a moment. Okay. At least she wasn't trying to talk her out of it.
"A few years ago. It wasn't a traumatic event in itself."
Nicole looked at him. So the trauma had come after. "When did you come out to your parents?"
Rian winced and glanced at her. "Earlier this year."
"It didn't go well I take it?" Nicole asked gently, seeing the boy's pain.
"No!" Rian took a deep breath and suddenly the whole sordid story came out in more detail than he had told anyone. The family breaking up, his mum leaving, the counseling, the abuse, the anger, the hospital, Jake, his grandparents. It came out fast and sometimes incomprehensible.
Nicole was horrified at what Rian had gone through. She began to have some serious doubts about the intentions behind the counseling sessions in the first place. Nicole hid her anger and decided that the minute Rian left she was finding out what Martin had been planning and if he had been convinced to go along with this whole farce she was going to intervene and fast.