Ricks Diary

By Ben Ng

Published on Feb 4, 2012

Gay

Our First Blowjob

It's funny. I got to be fucked by Ben before I got to suck his cock. Usually it's the other way around, but things have been crazy lately. While trying to get into a college fraternity, during the initiation process one of us had to fuck the other. I knew how much Ben hated putting anything up his ass, so I volunteered to be fucked. Oh, and the fact that I have been fantasizing about getting fucked by him for, say, over three years? Yup, it was good. It worked for both of us. The only problem was that Ben fucked me so hard I walked funny for three days.

Oh, and the best part was, after he fucked me, he was deep in thought, and told me he might not be straight anymore. Fucking me changed his sexuality? How cool is that? Or may be he wasn't so straight to begin with. Either way, it meant I had a chance. But, I wanted to take it slowly. If I asked him to be my boyfriend, it might freak him out. Of course I didn't want to do that. I didn't want to mess up our friendship. So anyway, I tried to play it cool and see how it goes.

That night, we went back to our dorm room. As we were accepted into the fraternity, we got our rooms immediately. We hadn't moved in yet, but we could crash for the night. Both of us were exhausted anyway, and Ben always crashes after sex, especially since he climaxed three times in three hours. We barely made it to the room and Ben just collapsed on the bed. I knew he would be out till morning, but I didn't mind. I just wanted to watch him sleep.

I considered myself lucky. Most people who have a secret crush on their friends don't get to be sexual with them. I jerk off with Ben daily, have threesomes with him at least weekly, and got him to fuck me. That's about as hot as it gets. The last thing left to do was sucking him. I wanted to suck his thick cock so badly. You know, seeing him naked in the shower at every practice, him pulling back his foreskin to wash his cock in front of me made me want to just kneel down and suck him. My cock would be so hard it hurts, but I had to hide it so other guys wouldn't see. Sometimes I think he washed his cock a bit too enthusiastically just to tease me. Also, when we jerk off every day, I want to just bend down and take his cock into my mouth but I didn't dare. Would that be too gay for him?

So that night, while watching Ben sleep, my mind was racing with all kinds of thoughts. As I looked at him in deep sleep, an evil idea sprang up in me. If I sucked him off then, he wouldn't notice, would he? But if he did, it would surely freak him out. Besides, after three climaxes, I didn't think he could get hard anymore. And it would be taking advantage of him. But, there wouldn't be a better chance to do it. My heart was pounding so quickly while I debated.

Looking at his handsome face, I knew I had to do something. I walked over to Ben and took a closer look at him. I watched his chest slowly rising and falling. The outlines of his nipples were clearly visible over his t-shirt. Even with a shirt on, his hunky body was so sexy. I had to take a better look. I lifted up his shirt, exposing his six-pack and happy trail. I lifted it higher to expose his nipples. I licked one of his nipples and the area around it. I could still taste the sweat on him. I gently caressed his chest, moving downward and traced his happy trail. Ben was out cold and didn't move.

I lowered his track pants and exposed his underwear. I gently caressed the hairs on his muscular legs. I moved up and smelled his underwear. A mixture of cum and sweat. I gently lowered his underwear, exposing his flaccid cock. There were cum stains in his pubes. I stuck my nose in it and breathed in. The masculine musk together with the smell of cum made my cock hard in an instant. I couldn't help but lick at the shaft. I gently pulled back the foreskin and a drop of cum appeared at his slit. He wasn't fully milked yet. I went in and licked it up. Ben gave a soft moan and moved slightly. I looked up and saw him turn his head slightly, but didn't wake. I pulled back more on his foreskin and saw some dried cum, which looked yummy. I dove in and licked it, cleaning it off. Another soft moan. Ben's eyes were still closed so I got bolder.

I took his entire cock in my mouth and savored the taste. It was salty. His cock was soft and felt delicate. I swirled it in my mouth, trying to get a better feel. Even when soft, his cock was thick and it filled my mouth nicely. I used my tongue to flick at the underside of his cock. I wanted to see what kind of reaction he had. He moaned louder and shifted his body. His pelvic area gave an instinctive thrust, pushing his cock deeper into my mouth. My nose was right in his pubes. I didn't want him to wake, so I pulled back.

His balls were hanging loosely, big and round. I went down and took each one into my mouth. I swirled them around one by one, feeling them jiggle under my tongue. Ben must have felt it as he shifted from side to side, as if trying to get away from me. I let go of them and went back to his cock. By now, his cock was all slick with my saliva. Looking at it, glistening in the moon light was the sexiest thing ever. His whole body, in fact, basked in moonlight, the light and shadow interwoven on his majestic body. I took a mental picture of this beautiful sight and continued.

I went back to sucking his cock. I licked all around his cock head, then took his whole cock in. It felt slightly bigger than last time, so he must have gotten hard a little. I thought I might be able to get another cum out of him, but I knew it would take a long time, probably hours. I kept sucking up, twirling his cock around. Very slowly, it expanded. This encouraged me to go further. I kept sucking him, while caressing his hairy legs. Sometimes I would move my hands up to feel his stomach and chest. I would tweak his nipples a bit. Ben moaned and thrashed around, but he didn't wake up. I started sucking harder and harder while stimulating the underside with my tongue.

When I saw that Ben remained unconscious, I let go of all inhibitions. I started sucking him at full force, creating a powerful suction with my mouth. Ben's cock jerked and grew bigger. It was almost hard now. I kept sucking harder, going up and down his shaft. After some time, it reached full mast. By this time, all I wanted was for him to cum in my mouth. I didn't care how long that would take; I had all night.

After a while, my jaw was tired. I alternated between sucking and jerking him. All this time Ben kept moaning softly and shifting around, as if having an engaging dream. At this point, nothing could stop me. I just went all the way, going as hard and fast as I could. It was a wonder he didn't wake. His cock was rock hard now and it started pulsating. I knew he was close. I pushed on, and after a while his body began to shudder. He thrust his cock deeper in me. His ass was off the bed and he was fucking my mouth in his sleep! I grabbed onto his ass and pushed him in. He let out a loud moan and tensed up. I could feel his ass muscles contract and his cock in spasm in my mouth. It pulsated and a drop of cum leaked out of his cock. After all, he had cum three times already. He was dry. I licked around his cock head and milked him further. Another drop came out and it tasted sweet and salty. I loved that taste.

When I looked up at Ben, his eyes were half open. I was suddenly freaked out. I was so into it I forgot to check towards the end. Was he awake? However, he looked dreamy and his eyes didn't stay open for long. It looked like he may be half asleep. Would he remember what happened? Anyway, his eyes quickly shut again and he drifted back to peaceful sleep. I put his underwear and pants back on and pulled down his shirt. I made sure he looked exactly as before and I went to my bed. I lay there thinking about what just happened, trying to create vivid mental images so I wouldn't forget. This will be my jerk off material for nights to come. Unless, of course, I get him to reciprocate, then it wouldn't be just fantasy.

The next morning, or should I say noon, Ben finally woke up. He was still groggy and tired. He looked at me, scratching his head and asked "Where are we?"

I laughed and said, "Our dorm room. We are going to be roommates, remember?"

"Oh yeah... and what happened last night?"

I blushed. "What happened at the initiation, or in this room?" I thought to myself.

"We were at the initiation. Wrestling, jerking, sucking and fucking. Remember?"

"I don't remember half of it. I had a lot to drink before that."

"You do remember you won the wrestling match right? And what happened after that?"

"Yeah, vaguely. Wait, I won, and then... I fucked you." He sounded alarmed, as if he regretted it or something.

"Yes you did. One of us had to fuck the other, and you don't want to be fucked, right?"

Ben was silent. He seemed to be deep in thought. After a while, he asked, "What does that make us now?"

"We are still best friends. Nothing changed."

He looked at me awkwardly. "Except... now I can't get the image of me fucking you out of my head." I hated this awkwardness. I didn't want anything to come between our friendship.

"Look, we did it because we had to. It's part of the initiation. You wanted to get in, right?"

"Yeah, but... it's still weird I fucked my best friend." He wasn't even looking at me when he said it.

"Come on, don't weird out. It's a one time thing. Let's just put it behind us."

"A one time thing... hmmm..." Ben was deep in thought again. He suddenly looked up and had a strange expression. It was a mixture of embarrassment, excitement and... lust? Did he want it to be a regular thing?

"Ok, let's leave it at that." Ben finally said. "Let's just pretend it didn't happen and move on." He closed his eyes and folded his arms behind his head. Wait, did he actually want to fuck me again? Please fuck me again! Damn, I was too chicken to say it out loud.

"Ok." That's all I said. I secretly kicked myself for being a such a coward.

A few days have past and things were normal, except one thing. I noticed Ben looking at me funny now. Whenever he looked at me, there was this sparkle in his eyes and some kind of strange expression I couldn't quite decipher. My best guess was he wasn't comfortable with fucking me and it was too "gay", but he was excited by it. He saw me in a sexual way now. It was almost as if looking at me triggered the memories of us fucking, hence the excitement and lust in his eyes. So, both of us wanted to fuck, but both worried it would be too gay and ruin our friendship? Damn, it's driving me nuts! Should I just tell him to fuck me?

I decided to take it slowly, step by step. People usually jerk off together, then suck each other, then fuck. We skipped a step and that's why it's so weird. I decided to suck him and get him to suck me first. My plan was simple: every week, Ben would try to get girls to have threesomes with me. Sometimes he would luck out and we would do it three times a week; sometimes not even one. When we have a dry week, I would make my move. I would have the pretext that since we couldn't find any girl, we would have to take care of each other. Jerking was boring and we do that every day already, so I would suggest sucking him. Being the horny fucker that he was, I didn't think he would refuse. Then I would get him to return the favor, under the "buddies taking care of each other" pretence. I reviewed my plan. It was flawless.

So, some weeks passed. Sometimes we had threesomes, sometimes not. When the week came that we didn't get any and I knew he was horny, I made the move. By the way, it's really easy to tell when he is horny and frustrated. He would pace around the room complaining that all the girls wouldn't put out with him, or that all the girls had other things to do. It was the perfect moment.

"Looks like we have to take care of each other."

"Damn it! I was hoping I get some pussy today! I've been looking forward to it all week! You know, all the football training kept us busy and today is the only day we can have some fun!"

"I know, I'm with you!"

"Don't you know any chicks who want a go? Why is it always me who get the girls?"

"I'm not a sex fiend like you. I don't have a list of all the sluts in my contacts."

"Come to think of it, I never saw you with any girls on your own. Are you gay?" He lifted one of his eyebrows and asked.

"I fuck girls with you. Do you think that's gay?"

"Well, no, but..."

"You fucked me, so are you gay?"

Ben opened his mouth to say something, but he decided against it. He looked at me with that strange, lustful expression again. I knew he was considering fucking me again. I waited for him to make his move. I thought it unwise to just offer my ass to him. I noticed a big bulge in his pants. It was growing bigger by the minute. He grabbed it and gave it a rub.

"Damn, I'm so horny now."

"Let's just jerk off."

"It's Saturday! I don't want to jerk off!" He was whining like a kid who didn't get to go to the candy store.

"Ok, how about we suck each other off?"

He looked at me strangely and considered it for a moment. Then he looked down at his hard cock. "You'd suck me?"

"Yeah, if you suck me too."

"Does that make us gay?"

"Just buddies taking care of each other, right?"

"Ok, fine, I'll do it. I'm so horny I'd do anything." He quickly took off his shirt and pants, and sat on the bed completely naked. He just closed his eyes and leaned back.

"Just imagine it's one of the girls doing it."

"Ok."

I moved in, taking a mental picture of his hot body and smiled. My plan succeeded. I got this horny jock to do whatever I wanted. I bent down to take his cock in my mouth and he moaned. I licked, sucked, and kissed his cock the best I knew how. Precum kept oozing out of his cock and his body was trembling under my ministration. I paid special attention to the underside of his cock. I knew he liked that. As expected, he cooed and panted, "That feels so good!"

He placed his hands behind my head and pushed me further in. I had a difficult time swallowing his entire thick seven inch cock, but I tried my best. My nose was buried in his pubes. The smell was different this time. It had a fresh soap smell as he just took a shower, but his masculine musk was still there.

"You are so good!" Ben kept moaning. "Suck my cock, baby." I wondered which girl he imagined me to be. My hands explored his hairy legs, rubbing them up and down. I loved feeling the muscles in his strong legs and the hair on them. I moved further up and rubbed all over his chest and stomach. I tweaked his nipples and he groaned loudly. I caressed his strong arms, feeling his biceps. He continued to hold the back of my head and pushed me into him. His started to thrust in and out of my mouth, as if fucking.

"Oh, that feels so good... I'm cumming!" He fucked my mouth faster and faster, his cock rock hard and pulsating. With one forceful push, he thrust all the way in and unloaded in my mouth.

"Oh my God... ah... ah... oh..." He kept moaning and yelling during his orgasm. Shot after shot of his thick cum went in my mouth. Some went straight down my throat, some was in my mouth. I was quickly filled up. There was a lot of it. He tasted salty with a hint of sweetness. I wanted to swallow it whole so I tried to take in as much as possible. My mouth was so full but I managed to swallow everything.

When he came down from his orgasm, he slowly opened his eyes. "That was the best blowjob I ever had!" He had a bright smile on his face.

"Yeah? Thanks."

"Damn, you are good. Better than all the girls I had."

"I guess you liked it then."

"Are you kidding me? I love it!" He was glowing. "We got to do this more often!"

"Well, it's your turn now."

"Can I rest a little first? I'm exhausted. You know how it is with me. I promise I'll return the favor." Ben gave me a wink. I didn't mind. I was happy just to suck him off. One more item checked off on my list.

"Sure. But don't think you can get away with it."

"I won't. I promise. I'll suck you good." With that he lay back and closed his eyes.

I watched him sleep as usual. I couldn't help but smile. So far everything went as planned. After I got him to suck me, what's next? Should I proceed to getting him to fuck me again? Would that be too soon or too weird? I thought about it, but didn't make up my mind.

When Ben woke up a few hours later, he was again groggy. He rubbed his eyes and asked, "What happened again?"

"I sucked you off, remember? And it's your turn to suck me back."

"Oh, right." Suddenly he frowned and looked at me.

"What's wrong?"

"Has this happen before?"

"What?"

"You sucking me. Have you done that before?"

"No, just now was the first time." I lied. He frowned some more.

"I just realized it felt strangely familiar, like it happened before."

"Of course. You've been sucked plenty of times before."

"No. It was you. I remembered something, but it's fuzzy."

"You must be confused, or may be you were drunk that time."

"Drunk? Yes, I was drunk that time." He looked at me suspiciously.

"Does it matter? We are going to do it again anyway."

"You sucked me while I was drunk! I'm sure of it!" He jumped on me and wrestled me while I was sitting on my bed. I wasn't prepared and soon he pinned me. He was holding my hands above my head and his body was pressed against mine.

"Tell me! Did you suck me off while I was drunk?" His face was inches away from mine and I could feel his breath on me. I had an urge to kiss him but I dared not. My body totally succumbed to him and I felt weak. I was breathless.

His piercing gaze never left my face. I was speechless, panting underneath his body. I could feel his warm body on top of mine. He was still naked from the blowjob earlier, and I could feel his soft cock pressing against mine. Both were getting harder by the second.

"What did you do?" He whispered softly. He was no longer demanding; he just wanted to know what happened. I was still breathless staring into his handsome face right in front of me. When he didn't get a response, he slowly released me and sat on my bed.

"Please, just tell me."

"That night after the initiation, you passed out on the bed and I sucked you while you were drunk and asleep."

"You did? I knew it." He looked at me with a strange look again. Damn, I was busted.

"So... you are gay." It was no longer a question, but a statement. I didn't answer. I didn't want to lie to him nor mess up our friendship, and I didn't know what to say.

"You... wanted me to fuck you. You were not just trying to protect me." Again, he knew everything. Ben was deep in thought again.

"Sorry. I shouldn't have taken advantage of you."

Ben was silent. He didn't accept nor reject my apology. That was what I feared the most. What was he thinking?

"My best friend is gay." He was mumbling to himself. "What does that make me?"

"Look, we can still be friends... nothing changed..."

Before I could finish, Ben said, "I'm sorry. I need time to think. Can you let me be?" He lay on the bed and turned towards the wall, covering himself with a blanket.

I couldn't say anymore. He made it clear he wanted to be left alone. He still owed me a blowjob, but that was definitely not the right time to ask for it. I opened my mouth several times but couldn't say anything. This sucks. This is exactly why I tried to keep my desires for him secret. Things would get weird like this. I so regretted taking advantage of him that night. I made all the right moves except one.

That night, I couldn't sleep wondering how our friendship would turn out. I was scared, remorseful, guilty and depressed. It was bad. The next morning, Ben woke up early. I was basically awake the whole night.

"Look, Rick, I don't want things to get weird. But, you sucking me while I was drunk? That's not cool. I mean, I know we mess around and stuff, and yesterday you sucked me off, but that's between buddies. It's not like... we are boyfriends or anything like that. You know what I mean?"

"Yes, and I'm sorry."

"Whatever happened, happened, but it's going to be weird around you now. It's not all your fault too. I got to think about my sexuality. I like the things we did together, but I'm not sure if I'm straight, gay or bi. I need time and space to figure it out. Do you understand?"

"Yes, I do."

"So, do you mind... um... that we don't live together in the meantime? While I figure things out? I'll request to move to another room, if you don't mind."

"No, I'd move out. It was my fault to make a move on you."

Ben looked at me with gratitude. "Thanks for understanding."

"Sure thing." My voice sounded sadder than I thought. Thinking about moving out got me depressed already. I immediately started packing.

"Hey, no hurry. Please..."

"It's ok. Let's get this over with."

"We are still friends, ok?"

"Yeah, sure." I didn't believe it. I didn't think it would be the same ever again. With a heavy heart, I packed my stuff and left.

Next: Chapter 5: The Aftermath


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