Author's Note:
This isn't my first attempt at writing or posting to Nifty, but it's my first attempt at anything for the boy-band area. I have to admit it took me a long time to actually read any of the stories in this area. I made some assumptions about the genre that took a bit to get over. Once I did though, I couldn't stop. I think some of the best writing on Nifty is in this area, and so I finally decided to join the ranks of some of my favorite authors and post.
Any comments, encouragements, or suggestions would be appreciated. Please feel free to email me at brandonkies@yahoo.com I'm more than willing to accept criticism, but please no flames.
Disclaimer:
This story is pure fiction. I don't know any of the guys from `N Sync and my writings should in no way imply anything about their sexuality. Please do not post this story with out first receiving my permission.
Story Notes:
I guess I should have taken a moment or two more to edit chapter one. Dylan was 19 when Chad was born. This means he's 22 now, not 18.
Right for Me -- Chapter 3 _______________________
Following Justin across the hall, his enthusiasm began to rub off on me. I had a feeling that both of us could become overgrown children rather easily, and felt a moment of regret for Helen. Trying to put up with four big ole babies was going to test her sanity.
The room he showed me was completely over the top. Movie memorabilia had been incorporated in interesting ways, and the room definitely catered to a child's every desire. Toys were scattered on the floor, overflowing from toy boxes, hanging in long ropes from ceiling to floor.
The furniture had been designed with transportation themes in mind, so there were car beds, train dressers, and wagons as nightstands. One of the walls had been treated so that it could be used as a blackboard, and children drawings where happily displayed. The walls had been painted with giant jigsaw pieces each interlocking in a cornucopia of crayola crayon like colors.
The closet door had been disguised as the entrance to a school bus, sliding into a recessed panel. It was really quit ingenious. There were even steps inside that allowed the boys to reach clothes more easily.
It was apparent that Justin took great pleasure in spoiling Jesse, and as I watched him bounce around pointing out items of interest, playing with an interesting toy, I wondered if Justin might prefer to keep the room for him-self.
The windows, plugs, and outlets had been child proofed. And as I examined the furniture closer I realized it had been designed to last. The stuff was meant to be climbed on and played with. Justin showed me where he had stored the boxes marked `Chad', and the storage he'd made available for it.
I had opened a box with the intention of getting started on the daunting task of unpacking when Helen poked her head in, "Boys, I'm just putting lunch on the table. Why don't you leave that til you've had a chance to eat?"
Nodding in agreement, Justin came and slung an arm over my shoulders as we turned to follow her downstairs. "So? What do you think?" He asked.
"I think someone is in serious danger of being spoiled," I answered turning my head to smile at him.
"Ha!" Helen exclaimed, "In danger my eye! That boy is as spoiled as they come, even if he is a little sweetheart!"
We were all laughing as we entered the kitchen to discover a small cyclone had descended. Helen had heated up some spaghetti for the boys, and given it to them before she'd come upstairs to get Justin and I. But they must have been full from the milk and cookies she'd served earlier. The spaghetti was decorating walls, floors, ceilings, and two little boys doing their very best to look innocent. Needless to say that isn't easy to do with spaghetti in your dripping from your hair.
"Oh dear," Helen gasped as she took stock of the mess, "did you do this Jesse? Chad?"
"Unh uh," Jesse denied looking guiltily at Chad.
Chad looked at the spaghetti clutched in his small hands then back at Helen, "It just-ded fall-ded," he assured her, his bottom lip beginning to quiver at the realization that he was in trouble apparent.
"Jesse Martin Timberlake... Chadwick Carlton..." Justin and I said at the same time.
Looking at me and winking Justin headed for the boys, "Jesse, what's the rule about lying in this house?"
"It's bad," Jesse finally stuttered out after enduring Justin's intense gaze for a moment.
"And what happens if you lie?"
"You get a time-out," he answered, his pout in full force now. He continued to glance at Chad surreptitiously, gauging his reaction to the unfolding events.
I had moved to the sink during this mini-interrogation and grabbed a washcloth to clean the boys and the mess up. Moving over to the table I began scrubbing wiggling boys as Justin continued. "That's right, after Dylan finishes cleaning you up, you show Chad where the time-out corner is, and both of you are on time-out."
Properly chastised, Jesse headed to one of the kitchen corners. Pulling Chad's chair back I motioned for him to follow. Both boys were crying by now, their bottom lips quivering pathetically as they stood there in abject agony; I'm sure they were silently bemoaning their fate, and thinking about the unfairness of it all.
We were able to ignore the young martyr's for all of five minutes before we asked them to rejoin us at the table. It had given us enough time to clean up the mess they'd made, and re-fill plates.
Helen had also placed a platter of BLT's on the table, and Justin and I were happily munching on those in companionable silence. The boys sulked for a few moments, but quickly forgave us for our harsh treatment of them and began chattering together again.
I was impressed with how he'd handled the situation. He'd been able to keep their behavior in perspective, displayed a sense of humor, and dealt quickly and fairly with the miscreants. The kitchen was as well appointed as the rest of the house, and he would have been justified at being upset about the mess.
I was beginning to think that this wasn't going to be the worse mistake I'd ever made. And I was pleased to find, I would be able to trust and rely on Justin's judgment with Chad when I wasn't available.
Once lunch was finished, Helen shooed Justin and I out of the kitchen promising to keep an eye on the boys while we began to unpack. Groaning with contentment we began our trek back upstairs.
"Admit it, Justin, Helen is really in charge around here," I said nudging him in the side a bit.
"Hell ya! Whatever you do, don't piss her off."
"How long has she been working for you?"
"Couple years. I hired her not long after we finished construction on the house."
"Oh... You had this house built?"
"Yeah, along with the other buildings on property. Well except for the barn, that was here."
"When do I get a tour of the other buildings," I hinted.
"Well... How bout we work on getting you unpacked until dinner. After dinner we can relax around the pool with the boys. And tomorrow morning I'll give you the ten cent tour."
"Cool. I'd like to give Heather a call today too."
"She'll be here tomorrow evening for a cook out."
"You mentioned the `cavalry' arriving tomorrow. Who's coming?"
"My mom's gonna stop by at lunch to meet you. She has to fly out tomorrow evening so won't be able to make the bar-b-cue."
"You're introducing me to your mother tomorrow? Man you move fast Timberlake," I said teasing him.
"Yeah yea, smart ass," he said laughing at me.
"Josh, Joey, Chris, and Lance are coming over in the afternoon. Maybe get a quick basketball game in or two. Then the extended family, Heather, Tyler, Kelly, should be here for dinner."
"You have Helen cooking a bar-b-cue for all of those people?" I asked in disbelief.
"No man," he said laughing, "I may not know my way around in the kitchen, but I'm not completely clueless. I have a catering firm coming that will take care of it."
"Justin, I hope you're not spending a fortune just so people can meet us."
"Na, don't worry about it. We have these get-togethers at each other's homes all summer long. You were just a convenient excuse not to wait for the weekend."
"That's nice, that you get together like that. But don't expect me to be any good at basketball. I don't think I've even held a ball."
"Really?" Justin asked as his eyebrows rose suggestively. "I thought gay guys had tons of experience handling balls."
"So was Helen hired to take care of the house or Jesse?" I asked changing the question quickly as my faced turned red with embarrassment.
"Oh man," he said laughing, "The guys are gonna love you. There will be competitions to see who can get you to blush the most."
"Ok, smartass, point for you."
"The house," he continued getting back to my question. "Jesse hasn't been living here very long," he finished reluctantly.
He had said earlier that he would explain Jesse at a later time; I decided from his reluctance that he still wasn't ready. "Look Justin, I'm not trying to pry. If I'm asking questions you're uncomfortable with, just tell me to fuck off, I won't mind."
Smiling at me, he said, "No, complete honesty from this point on, remember? Jesse is complicated, but you need to know."
"Where do I start?" He sighed.
"Well let me ask you, how much do you know about me?"
"You mean about the music `N Sync thing? I haven't had my head in the sand the last few years if that's what you mean. I guess I'm as informed as any person who watches MTV would be. I don't think that means I know you, but I'm pretty informed on what the press has had to say about you."
"So you know about Britney and Wade?"
"I know you dated Britney, and wrote some songs with Wade."
"Alright that's as good a place to start as anywhere."
"I guess it began a couple of years ago, right around the time I was working on my first solo album. I was pretty excited about Justified coming out, and pretty scared. `N Sync was immensely popular. We'd broken records, had a string of number one songs, and we got along with each other amazingly well."
"I decided to do the solo album to test the water. Kind of putting my toe in without losing the familiarity or camaraderie of `N Sync. I was hoping like hell the album would be successful. I wanted to know I could make it on my own. But I wasn't willing or ready to quit the band and leave the boys."
"Brit and I were living together at the time, but we didn't get to spend much time together. We'd purchased a house together, but I don't think we spent more than a couple of weeks together in it. I was out of town all the time. In studios working on the album, lining up producers and guest singers, doing the footwork necessary for a fledgling album, it was exciting."
"And she was on tour, doing a movie, and working on her own music. Crossroads hadn't been out long, so she was doing publicity tours for it. The movie hadn't been a box office success, and she was pretty depressed about it."
"She wasn't used to failure. She felt stifled, pigeonholed, and thought the movie proved the audiences only saw her as the pop princess. She was getting tired of her good girl image. She was ready to break out and move on, but the public wasn't."
"I thought we were forever, but we weren't."
"I hadn't known Wade long, comparably speaking. We didn't have the roots that Brit and I did. We hadn't been in Mickey Mouse Club together, and he didn't start out with `N Sync. But I considered him one of my best friends."
"We worked well together. I think the songs we co-wrote and co-produced, on Celebrity were some of the best work I'd ever done."
"He wasn't helping me with Justified; he wanted too, but it was my solo debut... I wanted it to be my work, my vision, at least for this first album. I think he felt betrayed. Maybe confused? I guess it was my fault; I wasn't able to explain to him why it was so important I do this on my own. No `N Sync connection."
"I'm not sure why I feel responsible for his feelings.
Or his actions."
"He and Brit got together. I was suppose to be out of the city, but had decided to come home early because Brit had a few days off. I didn't call ahead and let anyone know wanting to surprise her. I honestly didn't think anything of it, when I saw the car in the driveway. I got in the house and couldn't find anyone that is until I got to our bedroom. I found in bed together."
"There was an ugly scene. Screaming, finger pointing, accusations. It broke us up. I'm still not sure why they did it. If it was some weird revenge on his part, if she was just tired of playing the good girl role, but it fucked me up for awhile."
"It made for some great songs on the Justified album, a kick ass video or two, but it was rough. The media was relentless. Fuck, I was even a Barbara Walters special. It got to me. I wasn't dealing with it lost. I was heartbroken, and wallowing in their betrayal."
"I went a little wild I guess."
"I slept with a lot of people. The press reported on a few of them; Tara, Alyssa, Janet, but there were a score of un-names they ignored. It got worse when I began touring. A different person, sometimes different people, in every city. I was burying my feelings with promiscuity. I was turning into a slut, and even as it was happening, I berated myself for allowing them to affect me that way."
"One of the women got pregnant. I didn't find out for years."
"Jesse's mother was one of a string in those one night stands. Just some random girl I met while touring with Cristina. I didn't love her; she didn't mean a thing to me. I fully expected to never see or hear from her again. The next morning when she got dressed and left I relegated her to the list of conquests I was accumulating."
"She discovered her pregnancy soon after, carried Jesse to term, and delivered him without trying to contact me. She planned on raising him alone. I have no idea why. But her decision cost her everything. Her parents kicked her out, when she'd refused to tell them who the father was. Four months pregnant, still in high school, and they kicked her out."
"I don't even want to imagine what her life was like for the next eighteen months. Raising a child alone is hard enough, but in abject poverty? They slept in alleys and under bridges, they turned to shelters for help, but they were seldom set up to deal with infants. She turned to prostitution to survive."
Justin looked at me tears streaming down his face, "Can you imagine the kind of man that would pay a woman to have sex with him, while a small child slept near? I can't understand why someone wouldn't help her."
"She got hooked on drugs."
"I think that's when she decided to get in touch with me."
"Of course, that was almost impossible. I have a network of people insulating me from public interaction and she simply didn't have the resources or contacts to get through to me."
"She did manage to make it to Orlando."
"She camped outside The Compound - that's a place we use for rehearsals - she was there for days. Leaving only long enough to beg for money when they needed food, when the hunger got too much to ignore."
"Finally she managed to attract Lance's attention."
"It was pure luck. We very seldom use the main entrance, it's just safer and quicker not too, but Lance was meeting a potential client for Freelance so was there to greet them. She got his attention, told him her story, and begged him to contact me."
"It's not the first time a groupie has said one of us was the father of her kid. Needless to say, he was pretty skeptical. But thank god he is also incapable of leaving a woman and her child in those conditions. She was obviously sick. Great wracking coughs shook her body. He noticed the bruises and needle marks that littered her arms."
"He took them to a hospital right away. I think it's the only thing that saved Jesse's life. It was too late for her. Her name was Karen Bucher, and she died in that hospital alone and full of despair. I never saw her after that one night stand, never knew of the horror she endured because of my immaturity, and if it weren't for Lance, would never have known her story."
"I was out of town, and she died before I could get back."
"We did DNA tests almost immediately to confirm her story. It was true. At least the part where she maintained I was Jesse's father. The doctors that examined her corroborated some of the physical abuse she'd related. And the drug abuse was pretty apparent."
"That was six months ago."
"It's been three years since that brief affair, I've had five number one songs, put out two solo and another `N Sync album, received Grammy's VMA's, and the best and most wonderful thing I've done in the last three years I almost missed knowing about."
"It was touch and go the first few weeks. Jesse was suffering from mal-nutrition and dehydration. He was scared, his mother had died, and he was being poked and prodded by a bevy of strangers."
"Jesse's birth certificate listed me as father, so taking custody of him was reasonable straight forward, especially armed with the DNA evidence. When he was released from the hospital, I just brought him home."
"He spent days crying, begging and screaming for his mother. I didn't know him, but it was proof that love at first sight does exist. I don't know if it is instinct, if we are some how hardwired to love and protect our children, I simply know that I loved him. Immediately, completely, and unconditionally."
"It took five weeks before he spoke a word. Months before he stopped crying himself to sleep. He's healing now. Finally. But it's been hard on him."
"I'm not sure how the press missed the story. Maybe it was just luck. Maybe the hospital staff was just so compassionate they refused to inform or sell the story to the press."
"Whatever the reason, he managed to heal completely and we took him home with out the world discovering who he was or how he'd lived."
"We're pretty isolated out here. It's one of the reasons I purchased the land and had the house and studio built. I'm not trying to hide Jesse, but I am trying to protect him. So this was the perfect place to bring him."
"The story is going to come out. I know that. But I want him as happy and as adjusted as possible when it does."
I wasn't sure how to react. I remembered those wide wonderful expressive eyes of Jesse, and knowing how hard his life had been kind of put things in perspective for me. I also identified with him on a fundamental level, and recognized the parallel in his and Chad's life. Both little boys had lost parents.
Studying Justin's face, I recognized some of the same emotions that I'd had noticed in my own over the last several weeks. Pain, loneliness, determination.
He was as determined to protect Jesse as I was for Chad.
It helped me to understand him better. Unfortunately it also played havoc with my emotions. Fuck, I thought, I can't be falling in love with Justin Timberlake!