Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. It depicts a romance between two consenting adult males and may contain some descriptions of sexual act between two consenting adult males. If you are not of legal age to read this kind of story, please leave now. If you reside in area where reading stories that include sexual situations between two consenting adult males are illegal, please leave now. This story is for entertainment purposes only. Any similarity to any person(s) living or dead is simply a coincidence. The author retains all rights to this story. It cannot be reproduced in any form without expressed written permission from the author (me). Please contact the author for any requests at raspucin70@yahoo.com. Copyright 2006
Rip Tide, Chapter 9: The moviegoers
(Matt's point of view)
I caught myself checking my hair in the mirror. "God, I'm such a girl," I scolded myself. I was in the bathroom for more than half an hour, and I was still nervous about my appearance.
"This is not a date. This is not a date. This is NOT a date!" I kept repeated my mantra, but it didn't sounded convincing to my ears. Even Mary had the same opinion, but I was still nervous about the whole thing. Mary and I had spoken earlier. She was dying to know every detail, and after I told her, she agreed with me.
"Relax, Matty," she said. "It is just one guy hanging out with another one. It is just like he is inviting you to watch the Sunday football game. Don't let things get to your head."
She was right, and I knew it. I looked again at my combed hair, my carefully selected shirt and all of the sudden I felt like the world's biggest dummy.
"Stop fooling yourself, Mathew. It will be much easier if you just let it go."
Almost angrily, I tossed the shirt back in the closet and picked just a plain tee. On my way out, I glanced at the mirror one more time and defiantly tousled my hair. It made me feel better, although I did look a bit scruffy.
Hayden had called me earlier that day, and gave me directions how to get to the movie theater from the campus. The theater was on the main street and it was actually easier to get there on foot than driving. All I had to do was to cut across the campus and head east, and then catch any of the side streets for two blocks. The theater was not far away, and I preferred to walk anyway instead driving and fighting for parking space.
It took me less than twenty minutes to get there; and I could see Hayden was already sitting on one of the benches outside the main entrance. I wanted to speed up my pace to get to him faster, but I restrained myself. I was actually calm and composed when I approached him.
"Hey Hayden," I said
"Hey Matt." he replied. "Did you find your way all right?"
"Yeah, it was easy, just like you said. I actually enjoyed the walk."
"Cool. That's what I like about small towns - you can usually get around with no problem."
He stood up, giving me a chance to look at him. I was actually curious about his appearance. This was a little mind game to me: if he is dressy, that means that this evening might mean something more to him than just hanging out. That means that maybe, just maybe I am not imagining stuff and that there is a chance. I was disappointed to find that he was dressed as usual. Jeans and polo shirt, and sporty suede jacket that looked really good on him. He did have nice shoes on, not sneakers; but again, nothing special. Well, I guess this is going to be just a Sunday football night hangout. Just two guys killing time. Ok, so be it. I didn't let my disappointment show.
"I got us the tickets already," he said, pulling them from jeans pocket. He gave me one, and refused to take my money.
"It's my treat...I called it," he said with a smile.
I opened mouth to protest, but sight of his smile leaved me seeking for words. Once again I was captivated by the sight of his white teeth flashing.
"Well...I'll get it next time then," I said. 'That was crafty', I congratulated myself.
"Ok," he replied, and we went inside.
The theatre was not big; there were two halls, a small vending booth and the usual posters on the walls. I offered to pay for drinks and he accepted. Soon we were in the theater, scanning for seats. It was not full, and he suggested a middle row. We sat, with one empty seat between us and started chatting. I was surprised how relaxed I was; I guess the fact that I decided to take Hayden as friend and not as "boyfriend-material" had played a significant role. A very hot straight friend, that is. He was in the middle of telling me how he got busted with my cell phone ringing in the middle of his class, when group of four teenage girls came in the same row as ours. There was no room for them all, so one of them asked Hayden to move. He grabbed his coke and shifted next to me.
That changed everything. My relaxed composure disappeared in matter of seconds. I managed to pay attention to his story, and he made me laugh with his version of the event, but I was getting more and more distracted. I didn't dare to look at him anymore. I could smell his cologne, the same one that he was wearing that first day at the coffee shop. But tonight, this close, it was more intense. I enjoyed breathing in, like I was breathing in small portions of Hayden with every breath. And something else was happening. As he was finishing his story, right into my ear, I realized something.
I was getting hard.
I shifted in my seat. Panic crept over me.
Oh crap, not now.
His voice was reverberating from my ear all the way to my lower abdomen and my body was responding in the most inappropriate manner.
I fidgeted in my seat a little bit, but the situation was getting worse. I cursed myself for forgetting a jacket; I had nothing to cover myself with. I grabbed my drink and concealed the problem the best I could with the cup.
Thankfully the previews started and the lights dimmed. Both of us sat back in our seats and stopped talking, but only when actual movie started I got distracted enough for my excitement to subside.
I quickly got immersed in Jack Sparrow's adventures. (Johnny Depp is one of my favorite actors. I was amazed at the role that he pulled in this movie.) The movie did startle me a couple of times; I really hate horror movies. Despite this being a Disney production, it got to me with skeletons and exposed bones. Call me a wuss, but I simply don't like that stuff.
After the movie ended we got out. I immediately got cold - it was almost 50 degrees outside, and I was wearing nothing but thin a T-shirt. Hayden noticed that.
"Dude...you are gonna freeze! I guess you don't believe in jackets, huh?" He was eyeing me carefully.
"No, I'm just an idiot who is forgetting that he is not in Kansas anymore," I replied, stuffing my hands deep into my pockets.
"What, Kansas is next to Hawaii? It doesn't get cold there?"
"Not this quickly...it was nice and sunny this afternoon...I guess I had to learn this the hard way" I replied, shivering.
"Here, you can have mine," he said, taking off his jacket and putting it over my shoulders. His gesture startled me for a second, but then I relaxed and accepted it.
I slid my hands in the sleeves and immediately started to feel how the jacket, still warm from his body was warming me up. I closed my eyes for a second, enjoying the feeling of warm silky lining of the sleeves on my skin.
"Ahhh Hayden...thank you...I get cold very easily...and I hate being cold" I said, as I turned to him.
"It's Nicky, remember?" he smiled again.
I shifted inside his jacket, still soaking in its warmness. It felt so good to be warm again. He gave me a look that I couldn't read. It was as if he was looking at younger brother or something. That deep, thoughtful and mysterious look that I couldn't read. I realized that I was staring into his eyes and shifted my gaze away uncomfortably.
I started to take the jacket off when he stopped me.
"No man, keep it. You have to hike back to the dorm; you are going to need that."
"What about you?" I replied
"Oh, my car is right around the corner, don't worry about me"
"Are you sure? I don't know when I will be able to get this back to you" I said, concerned
"Don't worry about that. You can bring it to school tomorrow, and we can meet in between classes" he replied nonchalantly.
"Cool..." I said, but I felt obligated to say something else.
"Hayden...er...Nicky...you have been very nice to me...and I don't know how I can repay...or how could I repay you for all this stuff that you are doing for me," I said, looking at him timidly.
For a second he looked taken aback, like I said something weird. His eyes darted left and right, like he was seeking for something, and then they rested on me again.
"Matt...you don't owe me anything man...I don't do favors so I can expect something in return...I do something because I want to, or I won't do it at all. It is not that complicated, at least not for me. I don't define my friendships by the amount of favors that were done. Don't worry so much, at least not around me," he finished.
I could only look at him, astonished. The more I discover about Hayden, the more I felt lucky to know him. Now it was my turn to search for words.
" I- I... thank you."
"Cool. Be careful going back," he smiled at me again, and than playfully jabbed me in the shoulder. "I do want my jacket back, ok?"
"Ok...dad" I replied.
He smiled again and walked away. I was staring at him leaving, gazing at his broad shoulders. He didn't appear to be fazed by nippy air at all.
"Nicky!" I shout after him. He turned around, with question on his face.
" I'll call you tomorrow than, okay?"
He waved with his fist, with thumb and pinky extended. I looked him, confused. Never seen that one before.
I shuffled inside his jacket again, enjoying the feeling. It wasn't just the physical warmth of the jacket; it was something more.
Hayden said that we were friends. That filled me with different kind of warmth - the warmth that was coming from the inside.
For that moment, I didn't care if Hayden would ever be "boyfriend material". Just being his friend was rewarding enough. I turned around and headed back toward the dorm.
I almost wanted to run out of joy: Hayden and I are friends! That is awesome! It looks like I will be able to hang around him a little more than I anticipated earlier.
(From Hayden's point of view)
I got to my car and got in, but I didn't move or start the engine. I was just sitting in the dark, thinking.
I was glad that I went out with Matt. My mind was pleased that I spent some time with him; but my brain was running in circles, repeating same question over and over again: What is going on?
Confusion was only getting worse. I wasn't sure if I liked this controversy that I within me. On one hand, I was experiencing something different, and very intense. On the other hand, the inability to recognize what was it, was driving me insane.
I was still sitting in darkness when I got rude awakening. Out of blue, my cell started to blare its heavy metal ring tone. It startled me to that point that at first I didn't even know where the damn noise is coming from. I flipped the phone open, without even looking to see who was calling.
"Hayden?"
"Oh, hi Courtney" I tried to sound calm.
"I am not interrupting anything, am I?" I could tell that she had smile on her lips. It brought one to mine, but only in response of my brain looking for something spicy as an answer to her.
"Oh, no, Leila was just leaving." I barely managed to stifle a chuckle.
"Leila?" She had surprise and hurt in her voice. Damn, I shouldn't do that.
"Yeah, the redhead...um, sorry Courtney, bad joke." I apologized.
"Oh, you bastard! You had my head spinning here! You...you...Ugh!" Now she was pissed, but I could tell that she was relieved, and smiling at the same time.
"Sorry...but you kinda provoked that...you know - in the cafeteria the other day."
"You still remember that? God, Hayden, you can really hold a grudge!"
"I remember most of the stuff about people that I care about." I said with serious note.
She went quiet for a second, realizing that I meant what I said.
"I guess that's good," she said. We remained quiet for couple moments. She broke the silence first.
"Hey, do you wanna go to the movies tomorrow?" There was distinctive change in her voice, like she decided to shift mental gears, and I welcomed that change.
"Sorry, I can't; I have test on Alkenes or whatnot that I have to get ready for; but we can go Friday, if you are available."
"Sure! That sounds even better, I have some papers that are due Thursday, too. You want me to call you on Friday afternoon?"
"Yeah, that sounds good." I replied, wondering should I tell her that I'm sitting in theater's parking lot, not even ten minutes away from her place. I decided to skip that part.
"Cool, talk to you then, you vicious, vindictive, villain." She finished with fake spite in her voice. I recognized where she was coming from: it was the line similar to the one from the movie "V For Vendetta", when main character was starting every word in his sentence with a "V".
"Well, as long as you are ok with my mask, we should be good" I replied.
She laughed, and we said our byes. I closed the phone, in a little better mood. But than last thing I said to her echoed in my head.
I am wearing a mask.
(Matt's point of view)
As I approached my dorm, there ware a distinct sign and sounds of a party going on. Cars in the parking lot, and on the grass, loud laughter and music thumping throughout the quad. There were several people hanging in front of the front door, with beers in their hands. It was a classic university stereotype: three jocks and two girls, drinking and laughing. I entered the building. In the hallway the music was even louder, and there was bunch of people hanging out with drinks in their hands. I sighed. This was just not my cup of tea.
I climbed upstairs and went into my room. Steven was playing some videogame, with his ears covered with earphones. When he noticed me in the room, he took them off.
"I guess the party is still on," he said to me. I shook my head. The music was almost as loud here in our room as it was downstairs.
"Yeah...this is getting aggravating." I responded. This was the fourth party this month; every time I would lose half a night's sleep, since I could hear every drunken person leaving the building as they would stumble across the parking lot. They would than often hang in the parking lot right underneath our window, shouting and singing before they would actually leave.
"Who is it this time?" I asked.
"Mhmmm...wrestling team, I think. I think they are celebrating victory over Hampton." he replied.
"Ah, ok." I said. It didn't make any difference, really. Last time it was lacrosse team celebrating their loss. Win or lose - those guys don't really need an excuse to get wasted.
I took off Hayden's jacket and actually thought for a second to go downstairs. Mary's advice was to "go and mingle," but all of the sudden I lost all interest in social life. I just wanted to have a peaceful evening. Besides, what are the chances to meet someone interesting in that crowd?
I was standing in the middle of the room, actually the tossing idea of going downstairs around in my head. After half a minute, I decided to stay in the room. I had classes in the morning, and going to bed might be better idea.
I headed into the bathroom, feeling somewhat guilty. Mary was right; I do need to go out more. The trouble is, I didn't feel like I belonged in a crowd like the one downstairs. I drink very rarely, and in that crowd I would stand out like a sore thumb. Plus, too many people in small space always cause anxiety in me. Oh, and let's not forget that I won't be looking to hook up with a girl, either. Bunch of jocks looking to screw the first girl that they can lay their hands on is not a prime place to look for ...er, my species.
I shook my head and started to brush my teeth. Yeah, I need to find different type of environment. I am not tuned for the one downstairs.
"Why everything has to be so complicated in my life?" I asked my reflection in the mirror. With resignation, I rinsed my mouth and headed back to my room.
As I walked in, I had the oddest sensation of presence. It was weird, and I couldn't place it immediately. Just like a déjà vu, but in a different way. Just when I started to be little freaked about it, I realized the source.
The smell Hayden's cologne from his jacket was filling the room.
I smiled.
All of the sudden, Hayden's presence was welcome and familiar. I inhaled, immediately began feeling much better. It was weird: I almost expected to hear his voice. I smiled when I remembered how his voice was making my chest vibrate. I sat on my bed and propped myself against the wall with jacket as the pillow. The world around me started to fade away as I drifted in my thoughts.
Hayden is maybe considering me as a friend, but that is actually making this whole issue more difficult. If things remained distant between two of us like it was at the beginning of the semester, he would be just a dreamboat that I would lovingly observe and think about in my fantasies, but rationally remained unavailable. Like a teenage girl that would get carried away with movie stars and musicians, putting posters of Brad Pitt and similar hotties on her bedroom walls.
But in this case, Hayden and I are actually getting closer. I realized that for me, that could only mean trouble. Being physically close to Hayden means that it is going to be more and more difficult for me to hide my emotions. I was not sure that I'll be able to conceal my feelings towards him, and for how long. Should I go ahead and tell him everything?
The more I get to know him, the more he seem like he would be cool with the whole thing. Or maybe he is going to freak out, seeing me as a stalker and than just run away?
My mind was filling with options that were not looking like solutions. Is it worth it to risk driving him away for the sake of honesty and my piece of mind? I would probably gain nothing with being open to him. I learned that truth is double-edged sword. I know a lot of people are not comfortable with gay people around them. Why should Hayden be different? It sounds quite reasonable that he would be polite and than just slowly shut me off, if he found out about me. Is it worth it?
I absent-mindedly started to play with sleeve of his jacket. There is also an option that he would remain contact with me, to be civil, but it would cause uneasiness for him.
On the other hand, how fair is it to him? He is being nothing but fair and open to me, and instead I want to paint a facade of a friendship. How long I would be able to go on like that? Emotions started to engulf me. This is getting fucked up. All of this is well beyond my ability of comprehension. Being close to Hayden, and not be able to let my emotions flow freely was overwhelming me. I felt that tears are forming in the corner of my eyes. I angrily shut them.
"This is just not fair."
"What's not fair?" I heard Steve say.
Oh crap, I said it out loud.
"Oh...the fact that I want to get some sleep and those morons downstairs are making so much noise" I blurted.
"Yeah, it sucks. You can put some music on your MP3 player, like I do. It really helps." Steve suggested.
I groaned, although that actually sounded like good idea. Where have I left my MP3 player? I rummaged briefly through my stuff, finally finding it in my backpack. I got ready for bed, and I stuffed the earphones in my ears.
"Hawthorne Heights" seemed like good choice for tonight. I closed my eyes, trying to figure out some solution for dilemma that I had on my hands. I will have to find some way to be close to Hayden, but not too close.
Not finding answer to that question, I pulled Hayden's jacket close to me. This is not helping at all, but it felt so good to have portion of his life in mine. Even if it's a just the stupid jacket...and my overactive imagination.
I buried my face in the soft suede and inhaled deeply, deciding to let go of all worries for now and just enjoy this moment. The feeling of suede on my face, the smell of Hayden's cologne, and the peace that started to settle in was too good to spoil with worries.
Then I smiled.
I was getting hard again.
End of chapter nine
Thank you for being patient for this long! Sometimes I do drag my feet. For all of you who wrote to me - big thank you, I love the encouragement and suggestions.
Take care HF