NOTE: This is a true story. MY story. It's a story about love, sex, friendship and hatred. It's about being gay. If you find it offensive or disagree with the actions depicted within...well, why are you on Nifty?
Names have been altered for privacy purposes.
For criticism, insults and, why not, appreciation, you can contact me at ghostofoldtrafford@yahoo.com
I hope you enjoy.
THE ROAD TO ACCEPTANCE
Chapter IV
So here I was, a college student. Oh, to see the look of pride on my mother's face...and know how little it would last...
I decided to major in Journalism. God knows why, since I don't particularly like the field and generally hate reporters and media personalities, but I did it. Oh, wait, I remember why. Jo...Yep, she wanted to study Journalism, and since I decided to follow her like a puppy, I did the same. And we rented an apartment in Bucharest together. A nice 2-bedroom, perfect for two students who enjoy their privacy. Having family in Bucharest, I was fairly familiar with the city due to my visits so, for the first few weeks, I served as a regular guide for Jo. But she was a far more adventurous spirit, so she soon took up exploration on her own. Different nightclub every night, that sort of thing...I was still too uncomfortable with myself and pretty much everything else to go with her except for once or twice every two weeks.
About two months into the school year, while on the steps outside the school – she was smoking – she pointed out a guy to me.
"You see him? God, he's such a pompous ass! He's in the same group as I am and I fucking hate him! God, you should hear him talk. You just wanna jump him and smack the shit out of him!"
Truth be told, I did want to jump him...And screw his brains out. I was dumbstruck. He wasn't overly-tall. Maybe 180cm, but he was fairly skinny, so his height was accented by his slim figure. He had dark hair. It was fairly long and unruly, but in that cool, fashionable way. And his eyes were greener than mine. My God, those eyes! And his skin was perfect. No blemishes, and his darker complexion gave him a somewhat exotic appearance. He was talking to a few people and he soon started laughing. I must've been staring intensely(can you blame me? That smile could melt an iceberg), because Jo shook me by the hand.
"Hey, anyone home?"
"Huh? Yeah...Uhh...Hmmm...I was thinking that he definitely looks like an ass." A great, sexy ass. "Might even go so far as to call him a dick." Oh, yeah!
"Fucking wanker. Come on, let's go home. I'm making pasta tonight."
Over the next few weeks, I tried my best to run into him, such as stalking Jo to her classes. We were in different groups, so we basically had completely opposite schedules. Most of her classes were in the morning, mine were in the afternoon and so on. Jo found my eagerness to wake up early and go to school somewhat disturbing, but didn't mind me tagging along with her. I saw him once or twice in passing, but it seemed like he didn't attend all the classes, so I was starting to lose hope. Then, one day, we were in the subway, on our way home, when he sat down a few seats from us.
"Oh, there's what's-his-face, the pompous jerk" I said.
"Eh? Oh, Ary?"
"That's his name?"
"Yeah. Pompous, right?"
"Definitely."
"But you know what? He's not as bad as I thought. I've actually spent a fair amount of time with him and he's pretty cool. Funny, kinda charming..."
"What?!" I almost shouted.
"Umm...yeah." And she giggled. GIGGLED! Wait. Was she blushing? God, strike me down right now!
"When did you two spend time together?"
"Well...we ARE in the same group, you know."
"Yeah, but I never saw him when I was around."
"Yeah, kinda strange, that. He would always appear after you left. You two gave me a Clark and Superman feeling." She laughed at her own joke. Fuck me, I'll be the Lois to his Superman, if that's what it takes.
"Well...that's just super" I concluded, a note of bitterness making its way into my voice.
Then came winter. And with it, Christmas, New Year and the appropriate school holiday. I immediately jumped into a train and headed back home. I had to admit – I was missing the old place. It may have not been filled with happy memories, but it was home. And my mom welcomed me with open arms and warm cookies. Actually, they were cold. And store-bought. But hey, it's the thought that counts. Jo remained in Bucharest and we promised we'd keep in touch via IM. So, naturally, my home PC was broken. By the time I got it fixed, a week later, and logged on, I almost had a heart attack. Her status displayed a picture of her and Arry...kissing! Immediately shock gave way to fury! I wanted to rip her heat out! I forced myself to calm down eventually. I mean, why was I mad? It's not like he could ever have feelings for me, and Jo's just looking for someone to love her. Why should I be angry? I should be happy for her. But I was feeling lonely again. So very, very lonely.
Once I got back to Bucharest, I had accepted the situation, but I was still fairly depressed. Jo was oblivious to my state of being. Well, I suppose he was making her happy, so I should feel good about that. So why did I want to kick them both in the gut?
Then, one night, Jo came home, eyes read from crying. She broke down immediately so I went and hugged her tightly. She was shaking from crying so hard.
"Hush. Stop crying and tell me what's wrong. What happened?"
"That fucking bastard, Arry!"
"Oh, God! What happened? Wait...Let me put on some coffee." I got up and made for the kitchen. As I was about to leave the room, I stopped in my tracks and gazed over to Jo's shaking form. "Or maybe some whiskey will work better. Yeah...definitely hard liquor." I returned with a bottle of Johnny Walker and two glasses. I poured us our drinks, took a sip from mine and passed Jo's to her. She took it in trembling hands and then drank it all in one big gulp.
"Crap. This is serious."
"Yeah." She managed a weak smile. "The cock sucker dumped me?"
"He what?"
"Yeah. He said we should stop before it got anymore serious. I wanted to...you know...I thought it was time we had sex..."
"You mean you haven't already?"
"Oh, you jackass! I'm not a whore, you know!" she barked at me!
I raised my hands, palms out, in a half-shrug, half-surrender gesture. "Sorry. Didn't mean to offend you. It's just that, you know, I was expecting...But anyway, it doesn't matter. Go on..."
"So, he said he didn't want to lie to me and hurt me more when I found out the truth. He said he wanted to come clean and that he hopes I'd forgive him..." She paused.
"Go on..." I said, with a raised eyebrow.
"Refill?"
"Okay, okay, just go on with the story" I prodded, as I poured the drink.
"He...he said he was gay!"
My heart skipped a beat. Did I just hear her right? Please God, tell me I heard her right!
"He...WHAT?!"
"He told me he was a goddamn fag and he didn't want to hurt me further down, should I get too emotionally attached to him, since he didn't want to live a lie anymore."
"Well...That's certainly...chivalrous of him."
"Yeah, right!" Jo snorted. "He leads me on, and all the while he likes cock and then the cock sucker expects me to forgive him and even be friends. When Hell freezes over!"
I gulped almost audibly at her words. Christ, was this the kind of response that I could expect from her should I ever tell her the truth about me?
"Well, fuck him!" she continued. "Fuck him and all the cocksuckers like him. May they burn in Hell!" She took another sip from her drink, then raised her glass. "To us! To being normal, roomie!"
"Yeah...thank God we're normal" I said, in a half-whisper.