NOTE: This is a true story. MY story. It's a story about love, sex, friendship and hatred. It's about being gay. If you find it offensive or disagree with the actions depicted within...well, why are you on Nifty?
Names have been altered for privacy purposes.
For criticism, insults and, why not, appreciation, you can contact me at ghostofoldtrafford@yahoo.com
I hope you enjoy.
THE ROAD TO ACCEPTANCE
Chapter V
A few days after the talk with Jo, I was still reeling from the vicious way in which she spoke about someone she considered a friend. I was afraid of the way she might react if I came out. Still, the fact that Arry did tell her the truth was...sort of inspiring. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not the sort of guy who'd go to a pride parade or flaunt my sexuality, even if I lived in a more acceptable society. Heck, I think that the way these parades are, waaaaaaay over the top, are the reason that some gay stereotypes get so ingrained in public consciousness. But here I am, ranting. Back on point...I'd still like to not live a lie. I'd like to be able to tell my family and friends the truth. But I'm scared shitless when thinking about the way they might react. I really wanted to talk to Arry, but now that Jo pretty much severed all ties with him, it would be kinda awkward, not to mention suspicious. I never talked to him without Jo around. I just couldn't call him to say "Hey, can we meet? Have a coffee, a bagel, talk about being gay?" Even if I had his phone number...I couldn't do it.
Then, a fortnight later, fate solved my dilemma. Well, fate or Jo. See, I misjudged Jo, bless her heart. She had been angry and hurt that day when she said those things. But I would learn that in the following days, while I was struggling with the idea of talking to Arry, she was doing just that – talking to him, learning who he really was and accepting it. She wasn't looking at him like a fag, but as a friend. A good friend. She came home, sat me down and looked straight into my eyes.
"Look, I know what I said about Arry. But I can see past all that now and...I'm sorry about my reaction. He's a friend. A good friend. And I want you to accept him, no matter how uncomfortable you might find the situation. He's gay, you're straight, but you're both my friends and I'd like you to get along."
I could barely stop myself from grinning. I knew Jo was a Godsend. I knew it from the moment I first saw her and this just confirmed it. I wanted to jump up and hug her. I wanted to tell her the truth right there and then. But...I couldn't. I don't know why. Instead, I just nodded.
"Of course. I'll do it for you. Hey, maybe he really is as nice a guy as you say. I could always use a new friend. Why not him?"
Jo smiled broadly and as I got to my feet, she hugged me.
"Thanks, roomie. I knew you'd be okay with it?"
"Err..."
"Yeah. See, Arry's gonna be staying with us for a few days. I wanted to make sure you'd approve."
I was temporarily speechless. He was gonna stay with us?
"Ummm...why?"
"Why he's staying over?" I nodded. Her expression became sober and sad. "His dad. His mom's working in Spain and his dad's his only family in the country. You know he's not from Bucharest. And, well, after he told me, Arry decided to come out to his dad as well. It...didn't go well. He basically cut him off. Told him he never wanted to see him again. Then his dad called Arry's landlord and had him kicked out."
"Christ, that's horrible! What kind of person would do that to their own child?" I had a suspicion my mom's reaction wouldn't be much different, and I knew better than to be surprised, but still...
"Well, Arry also called his mom. Needless to say, she was a bit shocked. But, she said she still loved him and would do her best to help him. She wired him some money already and will do so again by next week – enough to rent a new place. But, in the meantime..."
"Yeah, sure. No problem."
"Oh, you're such a good guy! I still can't believe a girl hasn't snatched you up by now! Their loss."
"Yeah, they have no idea what they're missing." I laughed nervously.
"He'll be here tonight. And don't worry, he won't have to bunk with you. He'll sleep in my room." I struggled to keep the disappointment off my face.
"Well, it really wouldn't have been a problem. I don't mind either way, but...I suppose you know best." Well, he might not be in the same room as me, but it's still something.
That night, as promised, Arry arrived, carrying two large bags and a backpack. When I offered to help him carry them in, he smiled and accepted.
"It's not much. You know...it's everything I own. The sum of my life." He paused sadly at this. "But it's still heavy as hell." He laughed.
"Yeah, well, that's what friends are for – to help you carry the weight" Good God, why the hell am I so corny?! "Besides, that's not the sum of your life. Not by far."
"Damn, dude...you're corny. But thanks. Letting me stay here is amazing. I was afraid that, after Jo told you about me...you know. But...this is very nice of you." We made our way to Jo's bedroom. We dropped his bags on the floor. Suddenly, he looked at me. "You called me a friend and you barely know me."
"Well, Jo considers you a friend and she has good taste." Arry laughed, tears in his eyes, and then he hugged me. That damn near gave me a hard-on, but I just patted him on the back and he quickly released me from the embrace.
"Dude...That's just gay!" I said jokingly. Arry just smiled broadly and shook his head.
"Thanks. I need friends. Ummm...how `bout a manly handshake?"
We spent the night out, drinking, dancing and laughing, just the three of us, in order to get Arry's mind off things. The following morning, Jo had class and, despite the night out, she still refused to stay at home. Arry, on the other hand, was too hungover for school, so he stayed in bed. I did the same. I only woke to wish Jo a great day, then went back to bed. I woke up around noon, got a towel and made for the bathroom, to take a shower. Just as I was about to grasp the door handle, Arry came out of the bathroom, his dark hair wet and plastered to his head, with just a towel around his waist. My eyes were glued to the bulge showing in the towel, but I forced myself to look up and into his eyes.
"Err...sorry. Forgot anyone else was home."
"Well, it kinda is your home and I'm just a guest, you know, so no need to apologise. I just finished my shower anyway, so don't mind me. Go right ahead."
I moved past him and into the bathroom. I was getting a chubby because of our run-in and I needed relief far more than I needed a shower. I was ready to lock the door, drop my boxers and do the deed, when Arry stopped me.
"Hey, I was wondering...Could I use your computer, to check my e-mail? I was gonna buy a laptop once my mom next sent me money, but it looks like I'm gonna be needing it for other things...Such as finding a place to live."
"Yeah, sure. No problem. Be my guest." I was in such a hurry to bust a nut that I almost slammed the door shut in his nose. I basically ripped my boxers off, then grasped my hard cock and stroked with such speed and ferocity that I was done in half a minute. Then I jumped in the shower and let the hot water stream over me. I closed my eyes and my mind started wandering. Then it hit me. In my haste to get some relief, I didn't stop to think when I said Arry could use my computer. I had set my browser to start up with the same tabs as my last session. And I was pretty damn sure that some of those tabs included porn sites...gay porn. I basically tumbled out of the shower and threw the towel around my waist then ran for my room, water dripping off me as I moved. I burst into my bedroom and, as the desk was set next to the far wall, I could perfectly see the images displayed on the monitor. Sure enough, it was a porn site. My heart sank. Crap! I did not want him finding out like this. Arry turned around in the chair, looking at me inquisitively.
"Ummm...research. When I learned you were gay, I wanted to get into your mindset. See what it was that attracted you to...err...You know. I wanted to understand you."
"Even if you were a Psychology major, that would still be the lamest excuse I've ever heard. Why did you run in here like that if it was just research?"
"Didn't want you getting the wrong idea."
"That you like cock?"
I was silent. I bowed my head, then walked slowly towards the bed. I sat down on its edge, my forehead in my hands.
"Fuck! I didn't want to...I don't know..."
Suddenly, he was next to me. He moved his hand to grasp my shoulder and pull me close to him.
"Hey, relax. I`m gay, remember? I'm the last person you should be afraid of in this situation. I understand."
"I...I wanted to tell Jo, tell others, but I was afraid, after the way others have reacted in the past. I've lost my best friend because of what I am..."
"No. You lost him because he was a homophobe, if your sexuality bothered him. It wasn't who you were, it was him. And if he couldn't see past your sexuality, then he wasn't much of a best friend."
Tears started flowing down my face.
"Shh...I'm here. You can talk to me. And Jo, you know that now. You do have friends, no matter what. You don't need to be afraid."
"I know that now, but I've lived with fear of discovery for so long, that it's a part of me. I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to tell Jo the truth as soon as I learned she had accepted you, but something deep inside me told me not to. I can't explain why."
"I told you, I understand perfectly. Look at the way my dad reacted. There'll always be those who hate us, and it'll always be a risk involved when you come out to someone. You might end up losing their friendship or worse. But there's always the possibility that your relationship is strong enough to survive anything."
"Thanks. I know all these things, but I needed to hear someone else say them to me."
Arry got up and walked in front of me. He lifted my face towards him and he bent forward. Was he gonna kiss me?! He did! Well, he kissed my forehead, in an almost paternal manner, but it was enough to send shivers down my spine. He pulled me to my feet and smiled that beautiful smile again.
"You're going to be alright. We all are." He hugged me tightly and this time, he didn't let go for a very long time. I felt safe.
"That's just gay." I said, as we let go of each other. We both laughed heartily.
"Yeah, it is" he said. "But this is even gayer..."
Once again, his lips moved towards me and this time, they found mine. I closed my eyes and melted into him.