Hey there all! How goes it? Well, I hope! Sorry for the wait, but hey, it's here! Nothin much to say, so, on with the show!
Last time . . .
The rest of the ride was silent. No eye contact was being made between any of us, we just kept to ourselves for the rest of the ride. About half way there, I sighed, leaned back, let my hand drop on the seat and looked out the window. Lance looked down at the seat, leaned back and placed his hand on top of mine. I squeezed it and closed my eyes, tears starting to fall from them. We arrived at the airport around 10 after 1. There was an obvious vibe of tension around us, and no one bothered us. We made all the pre-flight arrangements and went on our way to the boarding gate. We all said our goodbye's to Melissa and after her and Josh kissed goodbye, I pulled her to the side.
"So, I'll see you in a few weeks!" I said.
"Yeah . . ." She said looking down.
"Can you do me a favor?"
"Of course I'll keep an eye on him!"
"Thanks babe! You're the best!"
"I know!"
"Love you girl!"
"Love you too!"
"I'll see yah!" I said pulling her into a hug.
"Bye!" She said after we parted.
This time . . .
As I boarded the plane and went to first class, I took note of where the guys were sitting. Justin was in the front window seat on the left-hand side of the plane, Josh was sitting next to him, in back of them was Lance's and my seat, and in the aisle next to us were Joey and Chris. As I walked down the aisle, I put my bag in the over head compartment and whispered into Josh's ear,
"Can I sit next to Justin? I really gotta talk to Justin."
"Yeah, but I dunno how much you're gonna get out of him!"
"Well, I at least have to try."
"Ok."
"Let me just tell Lance real quick!"
"Ok."
"Lance . . ." I said looking at Lance. "I'm gonna . . ."
"I figured as much! Go ahead, don't worry, just try and help him!" He said smiling.
"Thank you!" I said giving him a quick kiss.
As I took my seat next to Justin, he didn't bother looking up from the, oh so lovely view of the runways.
"Feel like talkin?" I asked finally to which he didn't answer. "Are you mad at me?" still no answer. "You are aren't you?"
"No . . . it's not your fault." He said after a few minutes.
"Are you mad at him?"
"You know, as much as I should be, no . . ."
"Why not?"
"Cause he's right."
"He asked me to explain why he did what he did."
"No need, I already know! He's ashamed to have me as a boyfriend and he doesn't want his mom to hate him even more!"
"Justin, you know that's not even the reason!"
"What else could it be? I mean, I don't think he's been seeing someone else! Unless you know something I don't!"
"No! Look, if the roles were reversed, and you just came out to your mom and she had that same reaction, wouldn't you shut him off just a little?"
"I dunno . . . Looks like I'll never find out either!"
"He said this was only temporary!"
"How long is that? And how do I know he'll keep his word?"
"Cause you love him. And however long it takes, you know it's for the best!" There was a silence and I saw him start to tear up again. "You do know that right?"
"Right now, I'm not sure of anything! All I know is that I just got my heart torn out, stabbed, stomped on and thrown in the middle of a street to get run over by a huge mack truck!"
"Justin . . ."
"Look, could you just spare me the 'don't worry everything's gonna be fine' lecture? I'm really not in the mood! Besides, the only reason you're here right now is cause you're tryin to justify what your friend did to me!"
"Hey, hey, hey! Don't even go there! You think I like what he did? I'm just as pissed as any of the others! But because he's my friend, I know why he did this and can understand! But that doesn't mean I have to like it! Right now, I could give a fuck about him, I'm trying to be here for you as YOUR friend!"
"Could've fooled me! Cause it seems the only thing we've talked about was him and why he did it! Not once have you asked me how I'm doing! So how much of a friend are you being for me right now?"
"Look, I wouldn't be here if I wasn't trying to help you and be your friend! I would've thought you knew me well enough to know that by now! If you think that the only reason I'm here is cause of Jay, then . . . then . . . I dunno."
There was an awkward silence as the plane took off into the air. Once the turbulence stopped, Justin turned to me and said,
"I . . . I'm sorry Rob. That . . . that wasn't fair. I . . . I didn't mean it like that."
"You know, if there's one thing I've learned,"
"You've only learned one thing?"
"No stupid!" I said as we both laughed a little, "That you can't pick sides when your friends have a fight, especially if they're both your best friends. It's not fair to any of us that's involved. The only thing I can do, is be there for both of you if and when you need me. I've said this, thousands of times to thousands of people! You know that no matter what, you can always come to me whenever you're having a problem and not have to worry about me judging you. I may not like what's goin on, and of course I'll give you my opinion and tell you what I think you should do, but I'll never judge you! No matter who your having a problem with, whether it's Jay, Josh, or any of the others, you know that I am always here for you! You know that I treat my true friends with the greatest care, love and respect! I'll always try to lift you up when you're down, and make you laugh when you wanna cry . . . hey, that'd be good for a song . . . anyways . . . I call you friend, and it's not a term I use lightly. I take friendship very seriously and once I'm able to call you that, you'll have me there for life. I know you're going through some tough times right now, and it might seem like the end of the world, you think you're alone, but somewhere deep down, you know you're not cause you'll always have me to be there for you. Your heart's been broken and you feel like you can't go on, but if you let me be your guide, I'll help you through anything! So, my friend, if you need me I'm here, but if you don't want to talk right now, I understand!"
Justin looked into my eyes and pulled me into a hug.
"Thank you. I'll remember that."
"I think we should try and get some sleep! It's a long flight and lord knows we're both tired off our asses!"
"Oh yeah!"
"Unless you wanna talk more . . ."
"Nah, sleep sounds really good right now."
"Cool."
We both drifted off into a deep sleep and awoke when, the fasten seatbelt sign was flashing. It wasn't the flight attendant's voice that awoke me, it was the complementary peanuts that kept being thrown at my face that got me to wake up. I looked over and saw Chris sitting back in his chair trying to look innocent, but failed horribly with the evidently huge grin he had plastered on his face, that and Joey laughin his ass off.
"You know I'm gonna get you back for this right?" I said right before opening my eyes all the way.
They both sat back in their seats and tried to have a "who us?" look on their faces.
"What are you talkin about?" Chris said trying to hold back his laugh.
"Oh yeah, REAL convincing!" I said looking at the both of them.
They started to crack up and I laughed a little. I turned over to Justin and shook him awake (never an easy task). After finally getting him awake, I turned around to see Lance with some headphones on, his laptop open and some papers in his hands.
"Aw, my little business man hard at work!" I thought.
Josh was asleep with his discman on and Chris had now began his assault on him.
"You know he's gonna kick your ass once he gets up!" I said warning him.
"Yeah, I know." He replied tossing two more peanuts at him. "Damn! I'm out! Joey, give me your peanuts!"
"No! I'm eatin them!" He said defending his bag from Chris' grasp.
"Come on!"
"I said no!"
"Rob, give me yours!"
"I don't have any. I was asleep so they didn't give me any!"
"They're usually in that thing in the back of the seat in front of you!"
I checked and there weren't any.
"Nope!"
"Oh . . . yeah . . . I forgot, I took em already!"
"Dumb ass!"
As Chris was trying to get Joey to give up his peanuts, he got smacked in the head by a whole bag.
"Aaah! What the . . . Oh! Cool! Wait . . . who was that?!"
"ME!" Josh said with a stare of death on his face.
"Um . . . Uh oh . . ."
"You just wait till we get off this plane!"
"Told you!" I said.
"Shut up!" Chris replied turning back to the front of his seat.
I turned to Justin, who resumed looking out the window.
"You ok?" I asked.
"Huh?" He said coming out of his trance. "Oh . . . yeah, I'm cool."
"You sure?"
"Yeah . . ."
"Ok, I won't push . . ."
"Thanks."
As I turned my head towards the aisle, I saw Josh's head right next to my seat.
"AAAH!" I said startled by his sudden appearance. "Don't DO that!"
"Sorry!" He whispered. "How's he holdin up?"
"He's still hurtin, but not as bad as before I think." I whispered back.
"Hey, I'm sorry for blowin up on yah earlier."
"No problem, I probably would've done the same thing!"
"We cool?"
"Of course!"
"You think he's in the mood to talk?"
"Nah, right now he needs to think. When he's ready, he'll talk."
"I SO wanna kick Jay's ass!"
"Not as bad as I do! But, what's done is done, and he had to do what he had to do."
"Yeah, I guess you're right."
"Remind me to call my mom to ask how her talk went with Linda."
"K, hopefully she was able to talk some sense into her!"
"Yup."
"I don't understand how a parent could do that to their child!"
"Me either! I was lucky, so was Lance!"
"It wasn't that easy for Lance!"
"Yeah, I know, but it was better than what happened with Jay!"
"True."
"Are y'all talkin bout me?" Lance asked, taking off his headphones and shutting down his laptop.
"Yeah, he's tellin me what a bad kisser you are!" Josh said.
"Now that's a lie!" I said.
"Oh yeah, sure, deny it now!"
"You tryin to get me in trouble?!"
"Me? No!"
"Hey, you better watch it! Remember who you're dealin with here! I could do many things to you while you're sleeping!"
"I think Mel would get a little jealous!"
"So would I!" Lance said.
The plane was about to land, so we sat back in our seats and prepared for landing. After getting everything done, including settling into our hotel, I started to get ready for my interview. I decided to take Jordan, and Sean (two of my backup singers) with me, so we could hang out afterwards. After the interview, we went out to this club and didn't get back till about 1. That night out was just what I needed. I needed to get away from everything and everyone and just have some fun. Which I did, we all had a blast. I wound up sleeping in Jordan and Sean's room cause I didn't wanna wake Lance up. I left a note under his door though so he wouldn't get worried or anything when he woke up the next morning and I wasn't there.
The next couple of days were a little tense, Justin was still obviously hurt and upset. The guys had forgiven me, but still couldn't stand seeing Justin so down. When he was on stage though, he showed no sign of trouble, he was a great actor in that sense, they all were. If you saw any of them in public and they were having a bad day, for the most part, you wouldn't be able to tell. A couple of times if it was bad enough, it would sometimes appear to the paparazzi that they were perhaps conceited or nasty to the public, but they never seem to understand that stars can't always play all nice in public. They don't seem to grasp that we have bad days and might not feel like putting on a face, one of the drawbacks to being famous.
I got to talk to Justin again before I left for LA, he's still hurtin, but I think he'll be ok. I have no idea how Jay's doing. I haven't talked to him or Melissa since we left New York. I'm gonna call Mel from the plane to see how he's doing.
After I left the guys, I was on my way to the airport in a van with my entourage. I decided to call my mom to see if she had any luck with Linda.
"Hey, lower your voices a little for a minute? I gotta call my mom!" I said trying to quiet down the party that was goin on in the van. I dialed the number and my mom picked up. "Ma? Hey, it's me!"
"Hey baby! How you doing?" She asked obviously delighted to hear my voice.
"I'm ok. It's been a little tense these passed couple of days, but everything's gonna work out soon enough."
"So, I suppose you're calling to see how things went with Linda?"
"Yeah, did you talk to her?"
"Yeah . . . Well, the good thing is that I got her to calm down and stop saying that she didn't have a son."
"That's good! What's the bad news?"
"She's still upset, and it's gonna take some more time for her to accept it."
"Do you know if her and Jay have talked since?"
"No."
"No you don't know, or no they haven't talked?"
"They haven't talked."
"Oh."
"Melissa was saying something about Jay and Lisa talking though. I don't know all the details, but I know that she's trying to calm her mom down too."
"Yeah, I gotta call her too!"
"Lisa or Mel?"
"Mel."
"Oh."
"Yeah . . ."
"What's that noise I hear?"
"Oh, I'm in the van on my way to the airport with my dancers and stuff."
"Oh, where you headed?"
"LA, we're gonna shoot my next video."
"Oh . . . Gonna get down, right?"
"Yeah, that be the one!"
"Wow, how's it supposed to go?"
"Hold on . . . we're pulling up, I gotta put you in my pocket for a sec!"
"Ok."
"Kim, gimme that bag I put in the back. The blue one!" I asked as I placed my cel in my pocket.
"Here!" She said tossing it at my head.
"OW!" I said as it hit my face.
"Oh my god! I'm SOOOOO Sorry!" She said covering her mouth with her hands, trying not to laugh.
"That's it! You're fired!" I said laughing. "It's cool, I'm alright, no permanent damage done!"
"Damn! I mean . . . Good!"
"You're lucky you're my friend, otherwise I'd have to kick your ass!" I said getting out of the van, putting the bag on my shoulder and taking the phone out of my pocket. "Hello?"
"What was that all about?" My mom asked.
"Oh, I just got hit with a BAG, that's all."
"Oh. So anyway, what's the video about?"
"Oh, thanks for the concern ma!"
"HA HA!" Kim laughed getting out of the van.
"Shut up!"
"Who was that?" My mom asked.
"Kim."
"Oh, put her on!"
"No!"
"Come on!"
"Nope . . . sorry!"
"What?" Kim asked.
"Nothing!" I said. "So anyway, the video . . . you know . . . I forgot what it's about!"
"Great way to keep account of your career!"
"I do! I just forgot in all this madness that's been going on!"
"I'm just kidding!"
"I know!"
"Well, I'll let you go now since you gotta get going!"
"Ok, I'll call you when I get there if I can."
"Ok, tell Kim I said hi!"
"Ok! Will do! Bye ma!"
"Bye!"
"Love you!"
"Love you too sweetie! Bye!"
After I hung up, I looked at Kim with a death stare.
"What?!" She said.
"Mom says hi!"
"Oh! Ok . . . tell her I said hi?" She said with a questionable look.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah . . . I'm gonna get you back for that bag!"
"I didn't do it on purpose!"
"Yeah . . . what ever!"
"What ever!"
We started laughing as we made our way into the airport. The whole way to LA was spent sleeping! I was due on set by 7pm that evening (right around dusk). I called Melissa from the hotel room, but she wasn't in. We had a quick meeting with the director, then it was on with the shoot. It was gonna be rough cause we had to fly out to Phoenix the next day to meet the guys for the next stop on the tour. We had to make a 5 o'clock charter flight to get out there in time. So, that means only one thing . . . ALL NIGHTER! Which is another reason why we all slept on the plane. The whole concept was a sort of street party thing, so it was night time and everybody was havin a good time. It was sorta like Janet Jackson's "Escapade", but a little more city style as opposed to the desert style thing. Of course there was a killer dance routine that Darren (NSYNC's choreographer) choreographed.
As the hours of the night passed, and the humidity turned up, the sweat caused by the heat made for a better look on the video, but drained the hell out of us! As the sun came up, it was time to film the beginning of the video (yeah, we kinda worked backwards). As the sun blazed it's heat on us, and we were doing a dance routine, the heat got to me and I passed out on the set. It was like, one minute, I was dancing, doing a spin, then the next minute I was on a couch in my trailer with a whole bunch of people standing around, and the AC on full blast.
"What happened?" I asked coming to.
"You fainted." Mike said.
"What time is it? Did we get the shot? Are we on schedule?"
"Shh . . . don't worry about that now!" I heard Kim say.
"Are you ok?" Mike asked.
"Yeah . . . yeah, I'm fine! I guess it was just the heat and all the dancing! I'm ok though. I just need some water and I'll be fine!"
"You sure?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine! Really! Let's just get this thing done!"
"I called Lance." Kim said.
"What?! Why?! You didn't have to go and worry him!"
"I didn't know! I was concerned!"
"I'm sorry . . . it's ok . . . I just didn't wanna worry him! Great . . . he's gonna treat me like I'm suffering from the plague when I get back! What ever . . . I'll deal with that when we get back! Right now, we got a video to finish! What time is it?"
"A quarter after three." Mike said.
"How long was I out?"
"About an hour and a half." Kim said as we walked out of my trailer.
"Rob!!" I heard the director say, "You're ok! Thank god! I was just on my way to check on you with the doctor!"
"I'm fine, really! Just a little exhaustion. I'm good to go now though! Let's finish this thing! I don't have that much more time to stay!" I said as I saw Dana, one of my managers on her cell phone, telling Nate, my other manager, what happened.
"I don't think . . ."
"Let's just do it! Come on, I'm fine! Really! I got some rest, some water and I was freezin in that trailer, I'm okay now, let's just finish! And Dana, tell Nate not to worry, I'm fine!"
"Are you sure you can go on?" The doctor asked.
"Yeah! I'm fine!"
"Ok, but if you show the slightest sign of faint again, I'm sending you back to your trailer!" Dana said turning her phone off and looking back at me.
"Deal."
As we walked back onto the set, I reassured everyone that I was okay, and that they need not worry. We continued with the shoot, and I was fine . . . refreshed . . . dizzy as hell! BUT, lucky for all, I'm a good actor, and as soon as the dance routine was done, it was just shots of me chillen in the crowd. The clock was ticking, and time was starting to run out. It was 4:30 and we were on our last shot. Just as we wrapped, just my luck, it started to get cloudy. As me and my crew loaded into the charter plane, the pilot said that we might run into a storm while we were in air, and if it was bad enough, we would have to land and wait it out. I told him that he had to get me there at any cost! I couldn't miss the show, I had too many people counting on me. So, as we strapped on our seatbelts and took off. We were doing pretty good, he managed to fly above most of the storm. It wasn't till we got over the town of Parker Arizona that we were in the middle of the storm, which caused some turbulence. The captain said that if the turbulence kept up, he'd have to make an emergency landing at a nearby airport. It was starting to get rough; I looked out the window and saw lightning flashing literally inches away from us. I was scared; I was beginning to think that flying in this weather wasn't such a good idea after all. I couldn't take the sight anymore, so I closed the window cover. That was when we all heard a popping sound and some emergency lights and noises sounded.
"Our left engine was hit by lightning, I gotta land the plane! Hold on! It's gonna be a rough one!" The captain yelled into the loudspeaker.
My heart was beating a thousand times per second, and I was holding onto the chair I was in for dear life. We were all scared and we all saw it in each other's eyes.
"It's all good . . . we're gonna be fine! He just has to land this thing and we'll be on our merry little way!" I said trying to reassure everyone, including myself.
We started to feel our decent, and suddenly, it started to get faster and faster.
"I'm losing her!" The captain yelled. "If I can't get control, we're gonna have to brace for impact!"
TBC . . .?
Papito6187@aol.com