Hi ya all, my name is Phill and 17 years old and live in the very south east of England. This is my first attempt at writing a story, and I would really appreciate ALL feedback on it no matter how small. Any comments can be sent to:- robbieanme@yahoo.com
The usual disclaimer applies. If you are under the age of 18...blah blah blah...
BUT if you are under 18 (which I neither condone nor promote!!) then be careful!
It is technically illegal...
Thanks again STAN!! Apprechiate all your time!
So all my thanks to Stan for all his efforts. As for the rest of my merry clan of friends, HI!. Sooo Stan, Kevy, Edward, Dave, Andy AND of course Dug.
Chapter Two
"Phillip honey. Oh my God. PHILLIP!"
"What!" I was unable to think of a proper answer I had just been woken up and I had been caught in bed with the most desirable and good looking guy in the world. What was I supposed to say?!!
I guess it had just got a bit to much for my mum to comprehend because she just sat down on the edge of the bed and kept fiddling and playing with her hair.
"Erm, mum say something would you. You are beginning to scare me." By this time Robbie and I were well awake and I was looking between him and her to see how they were reacting to this sudden and quiet unexpected Sunday morning. Robbie's face was more of worry rather than anything else. I know at that precise time I was scared shitless. I didn't want my mum to hate me because of who I was. 'You cant control or choose your sexuality' Right? I loved my mum she was the one thing in my life that had been stable. Sure, I know I had Robbie and I will pray for the rest of my life that we will be solid. But up until this moment my mum had been there all my life. She helped me through a load of shit. When my dad was killed, she put her personal grieving aside to be strong for me. Of course she cried. But only when she thought I couldn't see. And when I walked into the room, she would always fob it off by saying that she had caught her foot on the sideboard or something in her eye. But I wasn't stupid...much to contrary belief! I didn't want to lose that, not for anything or anyone... except Robbie. I couldn't take a decision between them. Anyway it wouldn't solve the long term problem of her having to deal with me being gay.
"Honey its...its ok. It was a bit of a shock that's all. I mean wow what a Sunday morning."
"Hey mum I am so sorry you had to find out like this. I would have told you and I know that this must be more than a bit of a shock" I said. All this time I was gripping Robbie's hand under the sheets. Call it moral support.
Robbie spoke for the first time "Claire, I am really sorry that you found out so ermm abruptly. I know that this may not look great to you, but I want you to know that I really do love Phill. Really, not some quick fling that means nothing."
"Yer" I added.
"I am really glad to hear that, boys..."
"Aww mum when will you stop referring to us as boys we are both seventeen.. or nearly"
"I'm sorry love, put it down to habit. But anyway, I am glad to hear that this is important to the both of you. Now, as your mother, it's my job to worry about you as much as possible. Also I don't suppose your mum knows, does she Robbie?"
"No, not yet. She and dad have gone away to visit her sister and also my folks are having a rough time at the moment."
"That does not matter, but that means I have to worry about you as your mum can't do it." She was grinning all through out this; trust my mum to walk in on a scene that most parents would freak at, sit and twiddle with her hair, and then laugh it off!!!
"No but seriously" she said and her voiced changed to one that said listen. "You are not stupid and you know about HIV and all that so all I am gonna say is that I want you to be careful. Treat each other with respect and always love one another. Never do anything to hurt the other, life is too precious to be interrupted by hurt. I thank God that your dad and I never hurt the other once... life is to short."
"Mum, I love you sooo much and I don't want you worrying about me, so I am going to tell you that Robbie is the only person in the world that I want."
"I know that, although this is very personal, but in reference to HIV, Claire, Phill is the only one and that is the way it will stay and I promise you as I have to him that will not change" Robbie said. All this time we had been holding hands under the cover and I gave him a quick squeeze to reassure him.
"Robbie, I can't thank you enough for those words. I do appreciate that what you have said was very personal, but I thank you for helping me to understand. Phill, honey, I only want to ask one question and you don't have to answer it because its none of my business really. But, are you, or more to the point from what I gather, were you a virgin? I know, like I said it is personal and a bit embarrassing."
"Mum, I REALLY don't believe you sometimes! But I have no problem in telling you that Robbie is the first AND only."
"I am glad. And remember, I am always here if you need me. I love you both." And with that, she got up and walked out of the room. I fell back heavily onto the pillow and half breathed out and half spoke "That was close!"
Robbie sank back but instead of the pillow he favoured me and rolled on top of me and kissed me and then said "Your telling me!" And leaned in again.
Well mum came back twenty minutes later carrying an enormous tray of breakfast. I mean, there she goes again. I HATE breakfast and I know Robbie isn't all that keen. But anyway, she walks back in while Robbie has his head on my chest and I am stroking his hair.
"Aww you two look so cute" she said.
"MUM!! You are gonna HAVE to knock"
"Yes, yes. Now have something to eat and DO something." With that, she left again. To say that breakfast was interesting would be an understatement. I was feeding Robbie and him me and well it ended up with him licking strawberry jam off my chest.
"Robbie, I am completely covered, fancy a shower?"
"You don't even need to ask!"
And that was that decided. We both slipped into my shower room and I let Robbie adjust the water. I don't seem to have all that much luck when it comes to showers they always end up cold. I don't think there can be anything more erotic, but at the same time, simple as washing your lover. And that's what we did. But then, that undoubtedly caused some problems of its own. They were naturally dealt with. I don't know whether it's me but I found that the flow of water just added to the effect.
We stepped out of the shower and dried on another off got dressed and ran downstairs.
"Mum. Just gonna use the phone!" And I did just that. I called Dan and Kaz and we all decided that we should go and see the new bond movie.
Robbie and I drove off to pick up the other two and to the Empire (It's the local cinema).
"Hey Kaz, how's it going?" Robbie asked when we arrived at Kaz's place.
"Not bad, you ready?"
"Yep."
And then, Kaz jumped in the back of the Z8 and we drove off to pick up Dan.
"So how's my two lovebirds then?"
"Not bad, considering," said Robbie.
"Considering what?
"Phill's mum walked in while we were still in bed this morning. I think the entire neighbourhood must have heard Phill's and my heart beat."
"No shit! What did she say?"
"She took it really really well, but there was one time that I thought she was gonna blow a gasket." That's my baby, turns everything that potentially could have been bad around into a joke.
"Hey babe, do you wanna go let Dan know that we are here and we can go"
"K"
And with that, Robbie stepped out and ran over to get Dan.
"So, what have you been up to this morning? You know about ours."
"Well, Dan and I went and had some breakfast and we had a chat about how he feels about everything. As you know, it makes fuck all difference to me, in fact, I rather like the idea of you and Robbie being together cus it makes what I wanna tell you a bit easier."
"Hey, slow down. Two questions, one what DOES Dan think and what do you have to tell me?"
"Slow down, lover boy, all will be revealed." I was gonna keep pressing Kaz for answers but then Robbie and Dan got back in the car.
"Hey dudes, sup? I hear you had a bit of a run in with ya mum" Dan asked.
"Well, I am fine, thanks, and yes, we did but its all cool."
"Oh ok"
I shut up from then on and got on with driving while the other three made small talk. I did notice that Kaz and Dan kept exchanging glances. I will have to ask Robbie about that.
"Here we go, folks, lets grab some munchies" I said.
We walked in and ordered a load of sweet popcorn and three cokes. Robbie hates salted popcorn and I was more than happy at sharing a large coke. We picked up the tickets and went to our seats. You would not believe how well chosen the seats were. We got the back row! And, at the end and against the wall. Robbie sat next to the wall and me next to him with Kaz and Dan sitting on seats next to me.
We had been seated about two seconds and the movie started. When it was pitch black, I put my arm around Robbie's neck and he rested his head on my shoulder. I don't believe how Robbie makes me feel. By just resting his head on my shoulder, I feel so special. Its like, WOW!! Am I the luckiest guy in the world or what? Well, you couldn't just expect me to sit there all the way through the movie and JUST watch. So I sneaked in a couple of quick kisses.
I guess it was about half way through the movie when Robbie jabbed me in the arm and pointed over to Kaz and Dan. I looked over and they were holding hands. I closed my eyes and opened them and checked. Yes, they were most certainly holding hands.
I leaned over towards Kaz and said "So that's question two out of the way. When do I get to know one?" She looked around and gave me this smile and she said "I'll tell you later, do you mind about me and Dan?"
"Kaz I am really pleased for you. I mean it." And, I did, I thought it was great news. Well, the movie finished and I was a little surprised that it was the girl. But then, what do you expect, typical Bond? We all went for a bite to eat at the local mcd's. And, I finally got a second to speak to Kaz.
"So, what was the answer to question one?"
"Well, he was surprised and shocked and that's why he said all that stuff to you. He realises now that it was a very bad thing to say, and well, he finds the idea a bit gross but in practice he has no real problem."
"So business as normal then?"
"Yes, I would say so."
"Well, that's good" I said to Kaz. "Hey babe," I said, as Robbie came back from the toilet.
"Ok people, that's the afternoon gone. I think we should be getting back," Dan said, as he came strolling up.
"Back to what?" Robbie questioned, and with that Dan turned a really cool colour of scarlet.
"Oh come on. Do you want me to drop you off and pick you up tomorrow?" I said.
"No and Yes... Please" Kaz said. "Later guys." And she took Dan's hand and wondered off.
"Robbie, I don't know whether you know, but I love you so much."
"I love you too, babe, more than anything."
We got up and drove back home, well, my place anyway, cause Robbie didn't need to go home until tomorrow. When we got back, I found that all the lights were off and that mum had gone upstairs for a sleep. I flicked on the light in the kitchen and the radio. I did remember to turn it down, because of mum. Robbie came up to me and snaked his hand around my waist and kissed me. Then 'If I could turn back the hands of time' by R Kelly came on. And, if you really expect me to stand still while there was a love song and Robbie in the same place... You are joking!
I put my hands on his back and he me. He rested his head on my shoulders and I put my head on his. I never claim to be a good dancer but I was happy to move slowly around the room as the song played. As the song came to its climax, I lent down and gave him a kiss. That's when I turned around to see my mum in the door way sniffing.
"You two are so cute."
"Thanks mum, goodnight." It was still pretty early but I had a long night with VERY little sleep planned.
"Good night, honey, G'night, Robbie."
"Night, Claire."
I grabbed Robbie by the hand and lead him upstairs.
"So what are you so keen to go to bed for?" he said, with his head cocked to one side with his best I don't have a clue what's going on look. I knew it, he couldn't keep it up for long, and he gave me this heart stopping smile. I mean, wow, is there anything about this guy that is NOT perfect? I sure as hell can't find a fault!
I walked over to him and slipped my hand up under his tee shirt. "What would you like to do?" I questioned.
"I don't know but I am sure we could find SOMETHING to do", and with that, he giggled, its so cute. I know I say everything is cute about him and its true, but ya should hear it. After a lot of fighting with zips and buttons, we both slipped under the sheets with Robbie on top of me.
"Robbie, make love to me. I need you to." He did, it was so slow and he was so gentle. I think it was one of the best experiences of my life. Of course, when he asked me to return it, that also ranked very highly on life's greatest experiences. Afterwards, we just held each other until we fell asleep. We woke up just as we had gone to sleep and we went through all the pre-school stuff together. I remember looking in the mirror and looking at my reflection. I noticed that my eyes had changed they had a glint a spark in them that was not there before.
The next three weeks passed like lightning. We (Robbie and I that is) adopted a routine of me picking him up early and then we would go off and have breakfast together. That's the advantage of being in a band that pays well!! Of course, it took a bit of persuading to get my mum used to the idea. She thought we were just skipping out breakfast but we worked it around her. Then, we would go to school, where we would spend all the free lessons that we had together and the ones that we weren't working. Then, we all would have lunch, Kaz and Dan as well as Robbie and me. They would join us in some free lessons, but not others. Then, we would go to each others houses alternately. I noticed that there was some considerable friction between Robbie's folks. They must have been going through a rough patch because all they seemed to do was argue. Moan about this bitch about that.
There were one or two slightly interesting bits that happened during school.
******************************************** Robbie
Well, I was in one of my lessons, I can't remember which one. I was sitting there, minding my own business. The lesson got damn boring and so I guess my mind switched from whatever it was to Phill. I mean, heck, I was sooo lucky. I love him a lot. He's just perfect. I think he is the single most gorgeous guy in the world and he's clever to go with it. That combination is very hard to find. And he's mine!! Wow! There is a point to life! The class was really boring and I switched off and started to think of how we could live our life together and then the teacher calls out my name.
"Robbie."
"Yes sir."
"What is the answer to the question?"
"Could you repeat the question sir, I didn't hear it."
"I have said it three times, Mr Oakley."
"Yes sir." There was a long pause before he finally gave up and went on to someone else. I could have died of embarrassment and of course, everyone else thought it was very funny which only made it worse. Then, there was the time that I was in my study and Kaz was in there and we were just chatting. Then Phill comes flying in the door and says 'hey babe, what ya doin?' I have no problem with that but he just says it and he had not even looked around the room. I mean, Herb (another friend) could have been in there or even a teacher. That could have caused some big problems. So, he got a right screwing by Kaz for nearly giving the entire game away.
Part from those two instances, we had a quiet term, really. There was only one thing that bothered me and Phill for that matter. We didn't like not being together during the nights. We tried our best but after one week we ended up sleeping at one another's houses alternately. Of course, there were more problems when we were at my place. But, it was solved by a lock on the door, just in case. I must confess that my parents were much better at knocking on the door. But, I don't know how well my parents would take finding me in bed with another guy. Although I would never admit it to them, I am really worried about my mum and dad cus they are always arguing with one another and they won't talk to me. I think I will talk to Phill about it. He's probably got an answer, he normally has.
************************************************* Phill
Like Robbie says, we didn't do all that well when we weren't together. Anyway, after the first week, I came home one evening and just broke down. I love him so much that when I am not with him I really can't cope. I know that sounds really weird and like I was so obsessed that it was unhealthy. But, at the same time, I know he feels the same. Well, my mum comes into the room.
"Hey honey, what's the matter?"
"Oh mum, I can't do it."
"Do what, come on tell me I might be able to help."
"Leave him. It kills a little bit of me every time I have to walk away from his house with him inside."
"But, you see him fully nine hours later if not eight."
"Mum, I know you still think this is some fling and that it will all be over in a few weeks. I am telling you that it's not going to be like that. Eight hours away from Robbie is eight two many. I love him. I love him more than I can describe or put into words."
"So what you are saying is that you want to be with him during the nights, as well as during the day?"
"Yes"
"Well then, if you feel this strongly and he does too, then we will have to see what we can do."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, holidays are no problem, are they, cus you have an excuse. Right?"
"Right."
"Weekends are no problem because you have gigs almost every Saturday. Right?"
"Right."
"So, what we need is a reason for you to be at his or he at ours during the week. Yes?"
"That's about it, I guess."
"Well, you don't need to hide in front of me because I know the truth. What you have to do is find a plausible excuse to give to Robbie's parents."
"That's just about it, but don't you mind?"
"Phill, I don't mind. I love you and want what's best for you. I don't like to see you hurting and you obviously are and that is reason enough for me. So what if you were a parent, might it not seem like a good reason for two people to spend a lot of time together?"
"If I were a parent, I guess I would be thinking of my sons schooling."
"Right. So?"
"So what?"
"Well, what if you had to do a project together for your folder or whatever?"
"That would mean we would have to work together and to save travelling time we could stay at each others houses."
"Got it!" Needless to say, I gave my mum the biggest hug and thanked her for her understanding.
"I am gonna call Robbie."
"Ok, but not to long."
And that's precisely what I did. I outlined the plan to him and he funnily enough agreed very quickly. When I asked him about it the next morning, he told me his parents thought it was a great idea. It also seemed that things between his parents were getting worse. What made it even worse was that neither of us knew why.
Apart from that, the term was pretty dull. But, we had one another. Of course, there were lessons (dull), but we made up for it with many other extra curricular activities as well!! What???? It was human biology!!
Anyway, that was it for those three weeks apart from practices and gigs at the weekends.
Then, of course, it was my first favourite time of the year. We broke up for the Summer holidays. OH yyyyyeeeeeeeessssss.
To be continued.