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It was several weeks later that Robin received the results of the DNA test and it was very clear that he had a half-sister. To make a long story short and to avoid unnecessary details, he contacted her and they agreed to meet. He asked me to go with him as his half-sister, Rachel, said she would come with her husband. We met them in a little café near Central Station as they were coming by train. They didn't live that far away, but preferred public transport over the car.
The meeting was pleasant and Rachel was a beautiful woman. Her husband Robert, called Robbie, was equally gorgeous and they formed a beautiful couple. Robin and Rachel embraced as if they had known each other all their lives. Robbie and I gave them the time and space they needed. The main subject of their conversation was, of course, their origins. Rachel, just like Robin had been adopted by a very loving family and she was happy with the life she had. She had been raised as an only child by loving parents who already passed away. That first meeting flew by so quickly and soon they had to catch a train to travel back to their home-town. They promised to keep in touch and to organize a dinner or a BBQ as soon as the weather would allow it.
From then on, they called each other almost every day, exchanging life experiences and wonderful stories about their past lives. There was a real and instant bond between the two of them, but neither of them had ever found their biological mother. It didn't prevent them to develop a friendship that went a bit further than what both of them expected in the first place.
I was happy to see how Robin loved his sister. It was after all the first blood-related sister he had. He loved Rita like no other, but she wasn't blood-related. When one weekend we were supposed to go to Rachel and Robbie's house, I was suddenly overwhelmed with work (once again) and Robin had to go on his own. As they were going to talk between them anyway, I didn't see any harm in letting him go. That was the weekend when I started to notice that Robin had somewhat changed. It was as if finding his sister had suddenly completed him, that he had always had a void in his life without knowing what it was. Maybe I was a bit paranoiac when I had the sensation Robin was a bit more distant towards me. Whereas before he met his sister, we exchanged dozens of messages over Whatsapp, it was now merely one or two and some days I didn't even get a message at all.
We organized a Sunday lunch so that Robin's adopted family could meet his half-sister. It was an animated event and Rachel and Robbie fit-in perfectly. Robbie was a chef and helped us a lot. He even taught us some kitchen-tricks that flavored the dishes and made them almost "professional". Robin was on cloud nine when Robbie was with him in the kitchen and all the guests couldn't be happier with the results. Robin always showed a lot of enthusiasm when learning something new. I had been witness of how he converted his hobby with videos, camera and computer into a professional skill. With what Robbie was showing him, Robin became addicted to the kitchen. I wasn't complaining as I was the beneficiary of that new addiction. It often happened that I came home after a day of work and that I was welcomed by the most wonderful smells coming from the kitchen. Even when I came home first and started dinner, Robin would take over and add his personal touch. On Robbie's days off, he and Rachel would often come over and I would find them in the kitchen quite busy while Rachel was looking at them, sipping a glass of wine.
It became a strange coincidence that the more Robin learned in the kitchen, the less he was horny. A few times I noticed that he wasn't hundred percent with me when we made love. I even suggested to call the black twins to spice-up our sexual activities, but strangely enough, Robin said he was not in the mood for that. The weeks and months went on like that. I knew I could sometimes be paranoid, but the evidences became far too obvious. I couldn't help to ask him what was going on. His answer was vague, invoking too much work, too much videos and a general tiredness. Little did I know that the bomb would explode a few days later.
I came home a little earlier than normal and was surprised to find an empty house. According to his work-schedule, Robin should have been home a long time ago, but he wasn't. My phone rang and I was convinced it was going to be Robin saying he was going to be late or so, but it wasn't Robin. It was Rachel.
-Hi Al ! It's Rachel. Is my husband with you because I can't reach him on his phone ?
-No Rachel ! He isn't. I just came home to an empty house.
-That's strange as he told me he was going to your place and meet with my brother...
Just at that moment, I heard the garage door open, telling me Robin just arrived. I asked Rachel to wait a moment so I could ask Robin. Robin came into the kitchen and when I said who was on the phone, we got nervous. I just knew something was going terribly wrong and said my goodbye to Rachel, promising to call her if I had any news.
Without a word, Robin started dinner. I took my husband in my arms, but got no reaction. Let me reframe that. He almost pushed me aside. I was stunned. Robin had NEVER done that before. Even if we had a disagreement, he never pushed me aside. He absentmindedly continued with dinner. I served us both a glass of wine, like usual. My intuition told me that we had to talk... urgently.
-Robin...
He didn't react. His eyes were fixed on the food he was manipulating with a big knife.
-Robin !
Still no reaction.
-Robin, I almost shouted, trying desperately to attract his attention.
He put the knife down, rinsed his hand under the faucet and dried them, still not looking at me. Once again, that was not Robin's normal behavior. I got up and went around the kitchen island, took him by the shoulders and forced him to turn around and look at me.
Tears were rolling down his face !
He looked devastated.
-What's going on Babe ?
He opened his mouth several times, but not a word came out of it. Apparently he was searching for his words, gathering his thoughts and I could even say he was gathering his courage to say whatever he wanted to say. When he looked up at me, sobbing like never before, the real bomb exploded.
-I had sex with Robbie.
I was thunderstruck ! The first minute looked like eternity. I didn't know what to say. A million questions ran through my head. It explained his behavior of the last weeks, but it woke-up the suspicion that it had happened more than once and I couldn't help asking him how many times it had happened.
-Several times...
-Why the tears ?
The question made him cry even more. He wrapped his arms around my neck and pressed his body to mine. I felt pain, an incredible pain in my chest, but nonetheless embraced him and let him cry and sob. My shirt on my shoulder was soaked. I stood still. I couldn't move even if I wanted to. What had happened ? It was more : why had it happen ? I had to sit down. My legs were giving away and couldn't handle the weight of my body. I thought I was going to faint.
-Come on, let's sit down...
-Why aren't you angry at me ? Why is it that you don't shout or scream ? Why don't you beat the shit out of me ?
-Because it wouldn't help us at all, I said with the softest voice.
-Damned Al ! I cheated on you !
-I know Robin. My question is why ?
-I don't know...
-Don't you love me anymore ?
-I don't deserve your love...
This was not going to be easy, because he actually didn't know why he had cheated on me. I could understand a sudden urge, a physical need, an unexpected horniness. The problem was that Robin had had sex several times with Robbie... if I understood correctly. I tried to analyze the situation.
-So, I said, let's start from the beginning. Aren't you happy anymore with me, with our life ?
-Yes, I am ! I don't want to lose you. You are too important to me.
-Ok ! You said you had sex several times. What happened the first time ?
-I guess we have to go back a bit more, Robin said, till the time we had that thing with the twins.
Oh my... ! At that time, Robin seemed to be ok with it. We talked it over several times and I really thought he agreed. Apparently it was not the case, or was I wrong again ? So, I asked him what the twins had to do with it.
-When the twins initiated the sexual part of the massage, I expected you to say no, but you didn't. You even winked at me with a smile on your face. Because I loved you so much, I agreed that they went on, but in my head I was disappointed and much more than what I thought. I started to think I was not sufficiently good for you, that you needed something more. It frustrated me. I really thought it was the beginning of the end. I didn't dare to say anything about it, afraid that it would upset you and accelerate the process of you hating me...
His puffed red eyes looked at me with sincerity. It hurt. A flash of Ricky and Ramses' conversation came back to me, warning us of including other people in our sexual activities. We had fallen in the trap ! I was hurt, but felt guilty at the same time.
-When I saw that big black cock disappear in your ass, I was so jealous. I wanted to get up and beat the shit out of that guy... Then we met Rachel and Robbie and I discovered a new passion in the kitchen. I had the sensation you were taking some distance from me and Robbie was giving me the attention I craved. He took his time to teach me new things and you didn't seem to even care. Yes, you made quite some compliments about what I prepared, but I wondered if the compliments were for me or for Robbie who taught me these things. I talked about it with Robbie. From then on, he showed me even more attention and often touched me. His hand was often on my arm when he explained something. Then his hand rested on my lower back and finally on my ass. He admitted he was bisexual without Rachel knowing it...
It was easy to imagine how things evolved from there on, but I wisely kept my mouth shut.
-Then, one day, you had not arrived yet and Rachel was in the bathroom, Robbie took my face in his hands and kissed me with undeniable passion. My self-esteem was so low with your behavior that I responded to his kiss. We didn't want to get caught by you suddenly coming in or Rachel coming out of the bathroom. The kiss was short and intense... and enough to fuel my imagination of how it would be if we had time. That same day, once they were gone, Robbie sent me a message by Whatsapp, asking me to join him in a hotel the next day. Yes, you already know that I went. Being in that luxurious hotel-room with him, naked and giving-in to the pleasures of the flesh, made me feel wanted again.
I wondered how I could have missed all the signs. Once again the conversation with our friends came back in my mind. "Talk about everything !". We had neglected that rule as well.
-The sex was great and that made all the more difficult to say no to a new date with Robbie. I know I shouldn't have given in, but I did... Today Robbie told me that he loves me, that he wants to divorce Rachel to start a new life with me. It scared the hell out of me. The mere idea that I would have to leave you, made me sick. I had to run to the bathroom to vomit. When I came out of the bathroom, he was already dressed and about to leave. His words were : "If my love for you makes you vomit... " and he turned his heels and left, without letting me explain anything at all... That was when I realized that he didn't respect me. I am not even sure he meant what he said about loving me. Yes, I cared for him, but I am not so sure about the reasons why. Once in my car, I knew I had to talk to you about it all, but didn't know how or where to start. Once again, you showed me a lot of respect and trust and could get the words out of my mouth.
My God ! What was I supposed to do or say ? As I didn't know, I took Robin in my arms and hugged him with all my strength. I couldn't look in his eyes where I saw so much pain and sorrow. I whispered softly in his ear.
-Robin my Love, none of us is to blame and both are. We overruled a few things lately and one of them is talking clearly about our feelings. You thought I was taking some distance and I was thinking exactly the same about you. Instead of talking about it, we just assumed it was like that. The fact that you had such strong physical reaction by thinking of leaving me, tells me that you love me more than ever. The fact we are quietly talking about the whole situation is a proof that I love you with all of my heart. We married and one of the sentences was "for better or for worse". I guess this is a "worse" situation. Now we have to face the consequences and know what we are going to do about them.
-You want me to leave ?
-Nooo ! We are not going to make the same mistake twice ! I want us to talk about it. I want us to find the solution to the problem at hand and to the problems that can arise in the future. We won't turn our backs to each other again. The only reproach I could eventually find, is that you chose the easy way out by looking somewhere else instead of talking to me, but on the other hand I didn't make it easy for you by not talking either.
-Do you mean you forgive me ? Robin asked with a sheepish look on his face.
-Of course I forgive you, because we love each other. My only problem is that it won't be easy to forget. I suppose I will always have that nagging feeling inside that you could take it the easy way again at our next quarrel or disagreement and that scares me... a lot !
-Would it help if I told you that I make the solemn promise to not do it again ? I promise to not keep my mouth shut if a problem arises as long as I know you will do the same. Promise ?
-Promise !
We kissed to seal the deal.
-The awkward part is Robbie and Rachel. They started to be here quite often, I said.
-Oops ... hadn't thought about that !
-I think that the best thing to do is to ignore the situation, although making it clear to Robbie what your position is in this aspect. If you want, we can both talk to him and I would even talk to him myself if you want to avoid contact. Rachel is a woman and therefor more intuitive. If suddenly she senses that Robbie wants to come less, she'll suspect something.
-I don't want to run away from my responsibilities and I'll talk to him. If you want to be there, I agree hundred percent. I want him to know I told you everything, it's more : I want him to know we don't have secrets for each other. I don't want to have to go to the extreme and tell him to behave. I don't want to tell Rachel, but won't hesitate if he wants it the hard way.
-Don't let your mind going that way Robin. As we said, we will do as if nothing happened and only react if he kind of forces us to do so.
Robin nodded.
-But what can I do to have you trusting me again ?
-Trust is a very special thing Robin, I answered. You promised me it won't happen again and I promised you to talk as soon as I feel something is not going the right way. I guess we will both have to learn to trust again blindly. It is also a thing that we must be willing to do. The will power is an important element and the way I love you will help me regain that trust in you. It is easy : I want to trust you again and even if I have that nagging little voice in my head, it will be up to me to force it to silence. To show you my willingness...
I took my wallet and the card of the twins and teared it in little pieces.
-Does that tell you anything Robin ?
He was all over me and kissed me just like before our little crisis. People say that the best lovemaking is when you had a fight and you found the solution. It was. We made love for hours that night, completely forgetting to finish the preparation of the dinner and eat. We found each other back after drifting apart form each other. It was wonderful. As if Robin wanted to make his point clear, he gave himself over to me, completely, without the slightest restriction. To show him I appreciated his honesty and that I still loved him like never before, I made love to him just the way he preferred : slowly and teasingly romantic.
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