Thank you all for all your comments and encouragement. It gave me a push to keep going and write more. Kingofcroffee@yahoo.com
The last few days have been like riding on a rollercoaster. Its more like when I've been on a certain road in New Mexico. It's a long straight road but it has one dip after another. It goes through dry creeks or arroyos. It seems like as soon as you get on flat ground again, you fall through another dip. I get that funny feeling in my stomach or bladder. Its an interesting feeling, at first when I even give a `wooohoo' but then it starts making me sick. I could slow down and make it easier to make it through the dips or stop for a little bit and get feeling better. There is something that just keeps me going without slowing, no matter how uncomfortable I get.
Its almost those same feelings I'm living through with my roommate Christian. The days since we messed around and slept together have been very different. We don't wake up each morning and realize once again that we are in love and go skipping to the showers hand in hand. We also don't wake up and decide what we have done is an evil and nasty thing and look for a bridge to jump off. And even if Christian was the one who was screwed up in the head at the start of my story, I'm not too sure about me now.
When we wake up each morning, its like we aren't sure who the other guy is. We don't talk a lot, usually. We just quickly get up, clean up and get out to class. When we get together sometime in the middle of the day, we start to get to know each other again. Usually by the end of the day, we are a lot more comfortable with each other and enjoy it. Christian has worked hard to participate in a whole lot more with me and my buds. Its actually more that he has worked hard to accept offers to do more. We did go watch the Mavericks on TV at Hooters with a couple of other guys. And he came with us to play pool. He has not been to either one in his life, and not played pool and I'm not sure he has ever seen a Hooter.
The girls at Hooters would come by and get our orders or bring food. Christian stared at the lightly dressed girls, I could tell he actually liked the tight little butts in the tight little orange shorts. The tits got his attention. He never would make eye contact with the girls, he couldn't even look up when they were right at the table. He was very quiet when everybody else was making comments about how pretty the girls were or how big the tits were and stuff like that.
Christian's pool playing was no where near his shooting ability. Angles and spin were not part of his game, unlike his ability to shoot straight. He did enjoy that evening. He got talking to one of my best buds. He is about the most religious of all my buds, says a prayer before eating and even before he twists the top off a longneck. They got talking about church stuff at first, then a little about religion, but then it was more normal guy talk, just nice clean guy stuff.
My buds are mostly high school friends or at least guys from my high school. There are some who I can barely stand to be around, some who are pure jerks. The worst ones are the rednecks, they can't stand anybody being different. And the most different you can be is gay. It's the most idiotic thing, they hate gay people but its not like anybody is ever going to try to do anything to them, or with them. And they sure do talk about it a lot. One guy has done stuff with my brother. I don't think he knows that I know. He does have a girlfriend here.
And Christian is just starting to meet the guys in the dorm around us. He knows the guys who come into our room all the time but for almost all last semester, they just knew him as the guy sitting on his bed and reading. Its not like its all buddy-buddy but finally he is talking to people.
The other morning, while we were both still in our beds, he just says right out "I don't think we should have done that the other night."
I didn't start arguing with him. I'm not sure if he's right or wrong. I just grunted. Then about ten minutes later, I asked him what he meant. He said that we shouldn't have played with each other naked, played with each other's penises, and slept together. I knew for days he was going to say that, I just didn't know how I was going to react.
I never thought I was gay. I was always curious to look at another boy's dick but once I saw it, that was usually good enough. Lately, I wasn't even that interested in looking. I also thought I didn't have a problem with anybody being gay. I know my brother is gay. I do love him, as much as brothers do. We have beat the hell out of each other from time to time. Some of our fights have been destructive, the door frame to our bathroom is knocked off the foundation and the door doesn't close right. At other times, we can spend an entire week being very close together and not give each other a bit of crap.
When I started writing today, I thought I was going to write about Christian and how he had changed and things he said. The more I write, the more I realized that I really don't know what is going on in his head. I also have found out that I'm not real sure what is going on in my head.
Like I said, I never thought I was gay but now maybe I am. I never had the thoughts about chasing dick like I had chasing pussy. I would fall asleep thinking about rolling around in bed with a girl. I would sit in class or ride in a car and think about stripping a girl down and sucking on nipples. When I would think about something while jacking off, it was mostly about fucking a girl. However, almost every sexual thought I have had in the last few days have been about Christian or some other boy. I have thought about just laying together side by side and jacking off together, making the greatest use of the other boy's rhythm to enhance my own stroke. I have thought about fucking another man but being face to face and not really thinking about the mechanics down below. I know that doesn't make sense but it somehow works in my head.
I have also had a huge craving to feel Christian's body against mine. Not just at night when I have thought about jumping over into his bed and snuggling in with him. Its like I need to feel the warmth of his chest on mine. My memory of that night is that our skin almost melted together as we slept. My arms were filled with his body and he wrapped me up completely. Our legs tangled up and felt like they were in the exact right place and position. I bone up every time I think about where my dick was enveloped by our bodies and the feeling of his dick against me. My mind wandered so far into that memory during chemistry class the other day that when I did return to the lecture, I was afraid that my boner was attracting all the attention in the room. It had all my attention.
There is another desire in my head and that is to please Christian. I want to make sure he comes, that his orgasm is wild and strong. I know I'm supposed to give a girl an orgasm too but sometimes I just can't, or won't. I once fucked a girl and I cumed and was finished before she got her underwear off completely. She thought I was getting up to let her pull her panties off. I was getting up to zip my jeans and go get another beer. Now, I think about Christian. I envision his face when he cums, I want to see that scrunched up face as it builds and that gasp when he shoots. I want to feel his hot cum surge through his dick and splash all over me. I want to see him collapse after cuming and want me to meld into him.
I also think about the possibility of having his dick in my ass. Up until now, I have never gone very far with that idea. I just couldn't imagine me getting fucked like that. I have seen my own brother on both ends of it but even that never had me thinking of me being on the bottom. (Speaking of my brother, the one time I witnessed him getting fucked was minutes after I had fucked a girl in the same bed. It was at a family reunion type thing, but that has to be a different story and a different category of story.) Now I just see myself in my dorm room bed, butt naked, legs stretched up in the air, Christian kneeling on the bed, and sliding his massive dick in me slowly.
That is also a place that gives me another thought. One that actually bothers me. I worry about that massive meat busting my ass. I can imagine the sexual contact and even our balls banging together, I really want to feel that. But I have a hard time imagining being open and big enough to take his dick.
That idea leads to another. I know my dick isn't huge. I thought of it as pretty average. I never did hide when I showered with other guys, or was embarrassed to show it when around my friends. Now I wonder if Christian thinks I'm too small. When I think about it, I know there is no way that he thinks that. I don't even know how many dicks he has seen, but I know mine is the only one he has ever touched. Its just one of those thoughts that makes me want to think about something else immediately. Even if Christian doesn't think that, I wonder if I really am small. I look so small compared to his meat. If not the length, then the diameter is too small. The several times I've jacked since then, m hand feels like its wrapping around such a small dick. I was always happy with my 5 incher.
I just deleted about 7 paragraphs from the end of this. I thought I was through and was going to send it until Christian and I went to dinner. Things changed during the night.
Christian had been out Saturday afternoon and I was the one who stayed around the dorm. He showed up ready to just go to the cafeteria in the dorm for dinner. I was in the mood for something with a little more flavor, a little more heat, and I practically begged Christian to go with me to Hooters. It really didn't take much to convince the boy, he has decided that Hooters is his favorite restaurant. "It has good things to look at!", he says with his big grin that just makes his cheeks glow even more.
Its been a little strange lately. Christian and I have been talking more but avoid talking about some important stuff. The conversation as I drove over was easy but it was getting to be about sex as we talked about the girls at Hooters and one in particular who seemed to flirt all night with Christian the last time we went. We finally got a place to sit, it was cranked up, good b-ball games had been on earlier and we were also there at dinner. We ended off in the corner, not quiet but kind of separated from most everything else. We had a big order of wings with the 3 mile island sauce. I don't even remember what we were talking about when he laughed so hard just as he bit into a wing that it made the sauce smear across his cheek. I just reached out with a finger and wiped it off his face.
Such a simple little act, and touch of finger to cheek, but it was an action that changed the course of the night. His cheek felt so soft and warm. The feeling that flowed from my hand reminded me of the night we slept so close, with naked bodies pressed so close together. I don't know if it was my reaction or if he felt something too, but his expression changed. Our eyes locked on to each other's and for a moment we were frozen in time and place. It was just a hand on a face, but it was something that men don't do. It was a trigger.
The conversation that was smooth and rolling during the evening was now a stumbling and halting struggle. It was the same topics and the same thoughts but it wasn't the thing on our minds. We paid and got out of there. As I was driving back, Christian said to me, "I probably shouldn't have said that the other day."
I wasn't sure what he meant and asked him about it. He said it was when he was waiting for me to wake up and told me that we shouldn't have done what we did the other night. I was trying to find the right way to ask what he really meant. Was it that what we did was wrong, or was it that he now thought it was ok? I recognized that there was a turning point in my life, and his hinging on what we were about to talk about. My pulse was racing, I could feel muscles tighten especially around my shoulders and neck. The conversation was just starting. I don't remember missing the turn back to the dorm and I don't remember driving out to the highway. All of a sudden we were going 30 miles an hour in a 70 mph zone.
I drove a little longer before I found an old farm road that I could turn off on. I kept going until I had to stop and look at him. Christian had gone through nearly hyperventilating to growling, from excitement to regret to compassion to lust. Even if it was just a few hours ago, I can't write it like I need to explain it. I keep writing his words but they don't carry the meaning as he spoke them.
Christian explained to me how he was brought up, that he was to accept people and who they are. He knew some people were gay, but he thought of it as simple as being black or white, Hispanic or Swedish. He said he never felt so good as when we were jacking together, and never so warm when we slept in each other's arms. Then, the days that followed, he never felt so guilty and wrong. I was hurting. I have a bad habit of squeezing my arm or leg hard when I get upset. Only my family members have been the only people to really noticed it. As I was starting to inflict a bruise on my upper arm, Christian took my hand away and told me not to hurt myself.
His hand wrapped around mine. I could feel the dampness from him wiping his tears. It was firm yet with very soft skin. I felt cold and even shivering. His hand felt 20 degrees hotter. I pulled my hand back toward me but that just pulled our bodies together. It the glow of the dashboard lights, I looked into his eyes. I could feel his breath of my face. As his lips moved as he talked, I could feel my lips moving in a sympathetic response. And it drew my face to his.
I could hear his words no longer. I closed the last inches and placed my lips on his. I felt a bolt of lightning slam completely through me. I tasted hot wings on his lips. I breathed in his hot breath. His lips were full and soft. Our tongues met and began a wild dance in our mouths. The kisses kept getting deeper and hotter. I think I forgot to breathe and I gasp for breath and our cheeks pressed together. My hand was wrapped around his and squeezed the blood from it. When he pulled it free, he placed in on my shoulder and began to rub it. My hand found his body and slid along down to his hips and over his butt.
I dove make in for more kissing. I could feel the heat rise in the car but I was still shivering. Christian's hand slid inside my shirt. He gently rubbed my chest, and squeezed. As his fingers pinched my nipple, I made some loud exclamation. Hell, I just about screamed. That made Christian laugh and that made me laugh. It was enough that the entire car was shaking with our laughter. All my buttons came open and his hand was free to roam all over by bare chest. I had to pull his up from his waist and get my hands on him. I pinched and caressed his nipples to return the pleasure. They were harder than any girl I had ever felt up.
I had my hand roaming all up and down him, as much as I could reach. His hand followed. As my hand slid over his zipper, he moaned and went for mine. I couldn't stay still and I bucked up and down as his hand found my boner. His large hand embraced my dick and moved down to give a little love to my balls. When I regained enough control to return the caressing, my hand slid over his bare belly and over his belt. I felt a hot wet fleshy bit at the top of his jeans and my hand went back to explore. Out of the top of his jeans was the tip of his dick head. already wet with precum. I shakily said, "oh my god, its huge." Christian laughed.
After a few more minutes, I said we needed to go back to where we could do more. I started up the car, got it turned around without going into the ditch and tore up the road going back. We were both adjusting ourselves but barely spoke. When we got to the dorm, I was ready to pull up into the loading zone parking just to get out and up to the room as quickly as I could. There was a car leaving right by the door but it seemed like it was taking forever to move back. I honked the horn to try to speed him up and got the finger in return.
As I got out and started walking to the dorm, I could feel my lips tingling. I figured people could tell just by looking at them that I had been kissing. I was still shaking but I could also feel the sweat on my back and under arms cooling off quickly in the cold night air. I was doing all I could to hide the rock hard boner in my pants. Since I was a young teen, I had gotten good at hiding my boner by the way I walked or staying behind things at least waist high. When I looked at Christian's boner, I thought the only way to disguise that was stand behind his Rav4.
The door to our room had barely closed when I pulled my shirt over my head and stepped out of my shoes. I watched Christian's naked chest appear as his shirt was pulled over his head. I stepped into him and hugged him so that I pulled as much of him against me. His soft naked skin just melt me and took me into his body. I could feel his heart beating as fast I mine had ever gone. Our breathing started to match, and that allowed our bellies and chest to stay firmly against each other's.
We began to kiss again. He has about 4 inches of height on me and I looked up to meet his lips. It was easy to kiss down his chest and find his nipple. It was puffy, almost like boy's get when they hit that period in puberty (one of my nightmares and probably another story). The nipple itself was still hard and pointy. When I surrounded it with my lips, Christian shivered and his knees weakened and he fell back into his bed. I was free to move from his lips to his nipples. He was loving the attention I was giving his nipples.
I moved my mouth down to his belly button. A little tongue tickle in it was more than he could stand. It was the first time my tongue went into a belly button and I was thinking of doing a little more first time exploring. When he couldn't stand the tickling, my tongue followed his happy trail down to the top of his jeans. That had his hips humping in air. I worked to undo his belt and unbutton his jeans. As I pulled the zipper down, the scent in his jeans hit me. His scent is hot, meaty and sexy. After all day after his shower, he didn't smell clean but it wasn't nasty at all. I could smell cum, a little old. His precum smelled sweet and clean. It was an aroma that I had become familiar with. It smelled like our dorm room, without my contribution. It smelled like morning.
I didn't move my mouth to his dick as he stepped out of his jeans. My hands rubbed all over the outside of his underwear. It would have been easy to just slip my hand inside but there was something extremely sexy about leaving his underwear on and working it that way. My hands followed his big boner and cupped and squeezed his balls. I reached around and grabbed handfuls of his butt. It was skinny and flat but still filled my hands. Christian's hand were pushing the top of my pants down. They weren't going anywhere until I stood up and then as soon as cleared my hips, they dropped to the floor and I battled my way out of them.
I crawled on top of Christian. I made sure our boners lined up and was grinding them together. Our chests were pressed together hard. Our lips kissed, our tongue tangled. I knew I could cum at any second but fought it.
We stayed in our underwear for awhile. I was enjoying the feel. When I was on my back, Christian sat up and he pulled my underwear down. Slowly at first, letting my boner get stuck in the waist band and bounce back hard when it slid all the way under. Once my balls cleared my underwear, Christian didn't take any time at all to pull them off the rest of the way. He stayed kneeling next to me and he explored me. His hands were gently and firm as he felt my dick and balls. He handled them I like he had never seen anything like them. He felt and played with the piss slit, the veins running through my dick, and weighed and caressed each ball. I felt so good in his hands that I didn't want to move.
When he started to stroke my dick, I knew I had to move quickly. I was so close to cuming that if he did much stroking, I would explode and I wasn't quite ready for that. I grabbed a handful of his underwear and pulled it up to me. He got the idea and we worked it down and off his feet. His boner seemed to hover over me. As his balls were touching the tip of my dick, the tip of his dick was about in the middle of my chest.
He lowered his body and slowly his balls laid on top of mine. They felt so hot and sweaty. My dick bent upward as his boner pressed down on mine. We tangled all up, kissing and rubbing. Our hips were humping. We were so close that it felt like my dick was inside of him. I felt his precum building on my belly and my own dick was sliding through it. We rolled back and forth a little but we kept humping.
Christian warned me. He squeaked that he was about to cum. He balls were no longer on mine. I felt his entire body tense up. I tightened up like I was about to cum myself. He slammed into me as I felt hot streams of cum explode out of his dick. I was humping hard and fast and before he had shot his last cum, I started shooting. Christian's weight was pressed down on my dick as I was shooting. It felt so awesome and was one of the best cums I have ever had.
I couldn't move. I didn't want to move, and I wanted Christian to stay right where he was. I was wet with sweat, cum all over my belly, breathing hard, and my heart was pounding. My hands were gripping his butt. And we both giggled. I don't remember falling asleep, the last thing I remember was Christian pulling his blanket up and over the two of us.
I woke up, probably several hours later, and we were on our sides. My whole backside was naked and uncovered. As I tried to scoot over under the blanket, I felt his dick poking me. He was boned up again. I was too, at least by the time I noticed. I could tell he was asleep, he does a little quiet snore when he is actually asleep. I slipped down. My head going under the blanket. The smell of cum and hot bodies was enough to knock me out. I took deep breaths to take it in. I wrapped a hand around his dick and held it while I built the courage to do it.
I finally just went for it. I took his dick head into my mouth. It was greasy, hot, and cummy. I didn't want to start sucking so hard that it would wake him up. I pushed my head down on his boner so that it hit the back of my throat. I could feel his silky wavy pubes on my lip. I was amazed at how big his piss tube felt in my mouth. I got to really like the taste of his dick. I know I had to be tasting some of my own cum. He never woke up and I returned to sleep side by side, under the blanket.
Morning started out easy. I was very hard with my normal morning boner and Christian was as big as ever. My hips were moving slightly. I also needed to piss in a hurry. My head was on his chest and I found his nipple and sucked on his slowly. As we both woke up, a quick kiss between us had us agreeing not to kiss, at least not until we got rid of morning breath. Our humping hips turned into jacking ourselves off. I was mashed against the wall and Christian. I was making a thun thun thun thun sound as I was stroking but his was more like whump boom whump boom. He cumed pretty quick and he watched me jack. He even put his hand out to catch the cum I oozed out.
We stayed in bed for about another hour, doing a little talking, and a little caressing and rubbing. I kept playing with his pubes. He has gone off to church. He ran in and out of the shower and when he came back, he rubbed my leg as he told me what he was going to do today. I got up, ate ever sausage biscuit we had in the fridge and sat down to write this. I know I should go shower, I'm sure I smell and I can't just blame it on the underwear that I slipped on. And those aren't even mine.
I know this was all messed up with the story. I wanted to write about Christian and the way he was thinking and then wrote about my thoughts. Then I deleted a bunch of what I wrote because it didn't sound sane after what happened last night. I hope it was still good enough that people read it. Thanks if you are still reading. Kingofcroffee@yahoo.com