Chapter 2 -- FORGIVE ME.
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Maxwell Allerton.
Oh, forgive me, Rowley. Hope one day you can forgive me. All I wanted to give you was a fantasy for your birthday. I have read what you have written in nifty. I have some gay friends as you know, and one of them told me I should read something he'd found on the website. And so it was that I read Rowley's kidnapping. Not only you mentioned your name but you also mention mine. And in what I read you repeatedly say "the man with my father's voice" and it was me, your father, Rowley, so that's what I ask you to forgive me. First I thought I could leave you one comment with one e-mail, but then I thought it better to write this to you.
A month ago, I went to a fast food restaurant and the place was full of people but there was a free chair on a table with only one girl sitting there and what a coincidence: it was Valerie! So I asked her permission to sit next to her and she told me of course for she really appreciated her former boyfriend's father. Of course I told her that she had no need of telling me the reasons why you've split up, but she added she could tell me but I wouldn't like to know, because maybe I'd like you less, my dear son. Assuring her you're the only one I care about and I am really proud of who you are and how you behave in life, she sighed but told me you were a masochist. Of course I respect you for that and she told me she never minded that but then added what you tell of her male friend having been raped and what you told her and the desire you seemed to have of being raped one day.
Now let me tell you something, Rowley, what the fuck do you think rape is? Rape is always something done against your will, so you cannot want to be raped. The words want and rape cannot appear in the same sentence, for if you want, then you are not raped at all. She told me how often she's fucked you, for instance, and I respect that. You have the right to enjoy your sexual life the way you prefer and have whatever fetish you like. But I saw the day you were kidnapped that you would have liked to have a real dick up your ass. So even if you're not gay, you can do it, why not? But if you ever tell a boy to stick his dick up your ass, for God's sake, don't give him the sensation that he's raping you, that he's a criminal. That's something you can do or not, but if you ever do it, have common sense, please.
So all I wanted was to give you a fantasy, to make you feel close to being raped and even forced to suck cocks. It was just a way to convince you that what you want makes no sense. I wanted you to face the situation you seemed to desire and see that it would be better not to be raped after all.
And now I'll give you some explanations. I must first tell you that due to my job, I'm in contact with some ex-cons, some of whom have even become my friends. One of them is called Dustin Harte. He was accused of raping his boyfriend. It was him that reported Dustin. Well, he often tells me that he didn't rape him and in his confusing explanations, I can never know whether he's telling the truth or not. Dustin is the one you call the bald man. And then I also met Willie Nyler. He was in prison cause he'd often been if some fights with knives. Fortunately no one that I know of has been killed in those fights but some people have been seriously injured. He's the bearded man.
The moment Valerie told me of your extreme masochism and your desire to be raped, I thought I could trust those two men to kidnap you and make you think you were gonna be raped. Well, I think you clearly saw that Dustin is gay and Willie touched you with lust, so I think he doesn't mind whom he can have sex with. But could I trust them? Dustin had been in prison for rape, what if he raped my dear son after all? And Willie is certainly violent. So first I thought I could never do this, but then I thought I could do it after all if I were present, controlling the situation so they did not hurt you and things could get out of hand. So I had to be present, and I hope you never mind I saw you totally nude, and if anything happened later, it was never my intention, Rowley; it was you that did those things. Hope now you understand why "the three thugs", as you called us, never took our clothes off, for one day you could have a shock remembering you saw your father naked.
That morning I gave you first three books as a present but it was Saturday, you didn't work and you told me at breakfast you would spend the morning by the river. Maybe it was madness, but I had already agreed with Duncan and Willie that we would do it, so on July 2nd, I phoned them and told them to wait for me by the river, to a place we had previously agreed we would meet. I had already hammered four stakes under some pines; a place I knew would be in shade all day. So we three were already by the river and found you soon, for you were in the same spot we used to go to when you were a child. We waited for you to get out of the water and wait a bit for your speedo to dry. We had decided we'd do it when you were gonna put your clothes back on. Then we stealthily approached you, we've been all the time very close and talking nothing so you could not hear us, and it was Willie who finally chloroformed you. You were only asleep for an hour and in that time, we took you to the place with the stakes and first Dustin removed your speedo. Hope you don't mind if I tell you that you have a gorgeous body, Rowley, and I hope many girls have been really aroused to have sex with you. Then it was again Willie who took charge of tying you. And we waited for you to open your eyes. We had taken our dicks out for our intention, oh forgive me Rowley, was to have you really frightened at the vision of three masked men with their dicks out. Remember our intention was to give you the sensation that you were gonna be raped, nothing more. And it was when you opened your eyes that Dustin started to touch you and masturbate you. He's gay and when he saw you, he told me that he desired you and he wanted to please you a bit later. And as for you, I think the thrill of thinking you were gonna be raped made you cum.
Let me tell you that you really behaved bravely all the time. And your courageous attitude was even exciting, oh forgive me for having said this, but I won't delete it. I mas moved at my son's courage. Any other boy would have been all the time crying his eyes out, begging for mercy, pleading us to do nothing to you. But you took the entire ordeal calmly and even shooting a lot of loads. I saw how Dustin sucked your cock. You never protested and even thanked him and called him Sir. It was then I started to have my first doubts that what we were doing to you would be the right thing, for you were obviously enjoying and maybe your father shouldn't submit you to gay sex. Then you came in Dustin's mouth and you say in the chapter you wrote that you really enjoyed.
Now Dustin started to touch you and Willie started to grope your upper body too. I didn't want to touch you, for I'm your father but we were supposed to be three gay thugs and if they touched you, I should also do it. Well, I shrugged my shoulders and told myself "what the fuck?" and I decided to also touch you, and since your feet and legs were untouched, it would mean nothing to me. You write it was like a forbidden touch and it really was, oh forgive me again Rowley, it was forbidden cause it was your father touching you but at least I didn't touch your most private parts. And I must apologize I had a boner then, but I couldn't help that your attitude was making me hard, even when I know a father should never be hard at his son.
Then it was that Dustin had to piss and seeing him, I knew I also had to relieve my bladder, but I'd never have done it, had I known what you would do next. It's true that we had loosened the ropes at your hands previously for now we really wanted you to escape, but being your hands free now, what I could never expect is that you touched your father's dick, Rowley. Oh, I hope you never have a shock when you know whose dick you touched, but I promise it was never my intention to have the slightest sex with my son. And you would surprise me more when you even opened your mouth and drank some of my piss. Of course after what you know now, I mean we never had any intention to rape you or force you to do anything, you will understand how incorrect it is drinking your father's piss. But you've always been strong-minded and hope when you remember it, you give it no importance, knowing your father never wanted you to drink piss and again it was you who freely decided to do it. Just remember you came with it and it can be just a hot memory you can wank over if you want.
Then we told you we were going to a little house we had, which was false of course. We wanted you to finally leave us. Once we had achieved the only goal we wanted to achieve: you thinking that you were gonna be raped, now we wanted you to run away and safely return home unharmed.
But you didn't want to go. We were waiting for you to get free under some distant pines, but you didn't move. We didn't know what to do but fortunately you fell asleep. I asked them now whether they had a piece of paper and a ball-pen. Fortunately Willie had a pic of a naked girl in his pockets and also a ball-pen. We cut half of the pic and finally it was Willie himself who wrote "we're not going to do anything else to you. Go home." It couldn't be me who wrote the note for you could recognize my handwriting. Fortunately you heeded the note but first we saw you looking in vain for the little house. But finally I sighed. You were leaving the spot. I don't know how but I reached home before you did and so I saw you coming back and I seemed to see you still had a boner. But you never suspected anything.
And last I will say again: forgive me, Rowley, if you can, for the experience I submitted you to, or if you think I have said something inappropriate. I hope we can still be a father and a son and also friends, as we've always been. And hope you've learnt your lesson.
Hope that after all, I can see you soon, my dear Rowley. I love you whatever you are or whatever you want to be.
Your remorseful father.
Maxwell.
Freedom can move your life and it can be seen even in the hardest conditions, together with love and friendship, happiness and beauty. Have a look at the life of eight beggars who live together at: https://luces-delatierra.blogspot.com/ or in English at: https://lightsoftheearth.blogspot.com/