Wilkommen! It took a little while and I apologize but I have no power over the twists and turns of life... henceforth, these chapters are only written and typed as fate permits! Or something along those lines. The characters, stories, jargon and situations depicted in these chapters are fictional and need not be regarded as the truth in any way. Fantasy is indulgence. I thank my friend Ralph for the inspiration and confidence. Let's plow on. (This takes place right after Part 6 ends).
Running Thoughts Part Seven: "Love Changes Everything"
The dressing room at Madison Square Garden was relatively large for five guys. The place was usually accommodating a whole cast of players. N'Sync only took up a small corner of the room. Joey and Lance walked in, followed by Kevin and Peter.
"From what I saw, you guys did great tonight." Kevin said.
"Thanks. We don't have to do much... those fans scream so loud we can hardly hear ourselves sing." Lance stopped walking and turned to face Kevin.
There was never an egotistical competition between the bands. They had their own songs, their own styles and their own fans. For the most part, they shared some fans as well. The overall group of the 10 guys got along fine. Tension was high, however, between a few of the single members. The reasons were petty and wavering but nevertheless, they existed.
The door opened again and JC,AJ,Chris and Perry walked in. JC and AJ were quite cold to one another for example. The fact that both groups had a figure with only initials annoyed them both. This was not harped on extremely often but it got under their skin. They were always civil but JC often called AJ several names (including Apple Juice) behind the guy's back. It was his own way of ribbing the whole event. AJ called his counterpart, JC Penney as a reciprocal attack. It was a way to demoralize the other. It never escalated to a band war, fortunately.
Everyone else considered it amusing but ignored it. Finally, Justin and Nick came through the door. They were giggling. Lance raised his eyebrows at the transference he saw in Justin. His laughter was great to be heard again. He was not sure what he was feeling towards Nick.
"Well, we'll just have to go shoe shopping then!" Justin grinned. Nick looked down to observe the partially shoeless boy next to him.
"What shoe size are you?"
"Ten and a half." he answered.
"Well, I'd give you a pair of mine but they'd be a little big on you..." Nick stared back into Justin's eyes. What was happening? What was he feeling? Nick was losing focus. He was only seeing Justin. ~Oh geez... not infatuation. If this guy is straight, I'm really going to get hurt...~ he thought in the back of his mind. ~But he just said shoe shopping... how many straight guys say shoe shopping?~
"Is your head all right, Nick?" Kevin asked.
"I'm still seeing stars." Nick answered as he kept his gaze locked on Justin. "But I think I am doing great."
The door opened and Patrice, Howie and Jack walked in. Howie darted away from the tall blonde woman at greatneck speed, trying to appear nonchalant. He walked next to Brian and sneaked in a little pinch.
"All right, guys. Here's the deal." Jack dropped his hands to his sides and gained the attention of everyone in the room- even N'Sync. "Due to a major scheduling error, the BackStreet Boys can't perform here tomorrow. Tickets were never sold and the entire city is only prepared for the N'Sync concert. We'll have to work something else out." He stated clearly.
"Hey, guys... we're sorry if that's a problem." Lance walked towards Jack. "I had no idea this could happen."
"I guess this means we just get a vacation..." Brian laughed.
"We could perform together..."
Silence fell over the room. Everyone's eyes fell upon Justin. His suggestion was mind-boggling. Of course it was possible bur preparation, arrangements, and paperwork had never been set up for this type of collaboration. The paychecks were an issue of their own. Not to mention the audiences reaction, the material performed, the chemistry of the boys on stage... Those things could take weeks, if not months to iron out.
"No. I am afraid that is out of the question." Jack shook his head.
"Why?" Nick furrowed his brow and stood tall.
"There are just too many variables. You can't spring this massive overhaul on a group of musicians and beaurocrats at the drop of a hat- on some whim!"
"Well sure we could." Howie protested. "They got our gigs mixed up in the first place... I was ready to work this weekend."
The eyes that were just on Justin switched over to Jack. There was little contradiction in the room. Most of the members were all for a joint concert. (AJ and JC not counting). There was little disputing the wishes of 10 celebrities... especially when Jack had been put in charge of the affairs. He sighed deeply and thought of every possibility he could muster up in his head.
"All right, all right." he muttered. "I'll go talk to the top brass- but I am not making any promises!"
The group nodded in appreciation and looked around at each other's reactions. The room fell silent. Jack stressfully tugged at his shirt and marched out. This was not going to be easy.
"Where are you guys staying?" Chris asked as he untied his work boots.
"Plaza Hotel." Kevin responded after a moment. Some of N'Sync were impressed. They were being accommodated by the Hilton- but it wasn't as luxurious or famous as they thought it would be. Lance stayed very quiet as the members began some small-talk excersizes.
"But, really, man... I hope I didn't hurt you back there." Justin's face was quite serious. He was concerned for Nick. He was not exactly sure why... but it was something deep inside of him. An involuntary response.
"Don't worry about it. Maybe a swift smack in the head was what I needed." Nick laughed and brushed his hand through his hair. His cheeks appeared a little red. Justin smirked and nearly blushed as well.
"I'd like to give you my number in case you got more hurt than you think." Justin reluctantly said softy. Nick nodded eagerly and smiled. He still wasn't sure what to think about it, though. "I think I have some paper around here..." Nick fished through his pocket. He knew he had his wallet and his lucky sea-shell and a black magic marker for the passing fans... Then he felt the slip of paper.
Nick took it from his pocket and unfolded it in front of Justin. He was quite surprised to see his name already written on the scrap. "Hey, how did you get my name on their already?"
"Actually, I found this in some of the fan mail I got and I held on to it." Nick explained, keeping his voice low. "I don't know what it is exactly."
"I think it's meant to be." Justin leaned over and looked back into Nick's eyes. They weren't just flirting... they were searching for something. Fulfillment? Acceptance? He didn't even know himself. Justin just took out his pen and wrote his beeper number down underneath the name already scrawled out for him. "Call whenever you need to talk."
"Thanks, Justin." Nick got butterflies as he said that name. He then felt a little foolish about acting so immature and naive regarding the situation. Perhaps Justin was just being friendly... Too many questions were spinning around his head and he didn't know how he was going to get them answered. He did know that he was beginning to sweat and he needed to clean himself up. Before he could ask where the facilities were, however, Justin spoke.
"I gotta go to the bathroom now." he announced. Coincidence?
Justin turned around, winked at Nick and went through the doors. Nick shrugged, turned to his friends who were too busy in little conversations to notice him, and followed Justin off to the bathroom.
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Lance sat up in bed again. He could not fall asleep for the life of him. Their concert had gone very well and he had no reason to feel so tense. Nick Carter didn't know anything about Lance. Why would he be so worried about the joint concert tomorrow night?
Lance rose from the queen-sized bed and sunk to the floor. He stretched himself out and closed his eyes. Sometimes, the floor helped his back pains and eased him into sleep more rapidly.
Every time he thought he was comfortable, he got a flash of that BackStreet Boy in his mind. Lance was extremely frustrated. He sat indian-style and put his head in his hands. This wasn't normal insomnia that you could get from having too much on your mind. This was much more. This was an actual pain deep in Lance's stomach. His breathing was distorted and broken apart as he felt great tears welling up in his eyes.
He heard the door next to his room open up and he checked the time. 3:44 AM. Joey was just coming in. Lance took the pillow from his bed and wiped his eyes completely. He jumped up and slowly walked over to the door in between his own room and Joey's. If he was lucky, his friend came home without a guest this time. With a little knock, he opened the door and turned on the light switch. The walls contained three or four sconces and electric candles. They flicked on and illuminated the darkened space. Joey was undressing as he turned to Lance.
"Hey,yo..." the drunken member groggily moaned. He swallowed and sat down on the bed. "What's up, Lance..."
"I couldn't sleep." he said as he entered. "Have a good night?"
"New York never sleeps." Joey laid back. "How does it do that?"
"How many drinks did you have this time, Joe?" Lance walked over to the green leather armchair next to the dresser and sat down. It was cool and smooth. He adjusted his legs and stretched out comfortably.
"Who counts these days." he answered. "Why? What do you care?"
"Just curious." Lance shrugged. "We're working with the BackStreet fellas all morning tomorrow, so you should go get some rest." Lance sighed.
"Am I really mind, or is something on your drunk?" he slurred.
"Both, my friend. Both."
"Do that talking thing." Joey moved back onto the bed and kicked his shoes off. He propped a pillow behind his head and closed his eyes. "I'll tell you what I know."
Lance knew that wouldn't take very long and decided it was worth a shot. "Okay, Joe. I've been having a recurring dream and I don't know what it means."
"Am I in it?"
"No."
"Bummer."
"It's just eating away at me and I don't know what I should do about it." Lance stood up and shook his head. He felt the tears in his eyes again, but he never liked crying in front of anyone.
"I ain't no doctor, Lancey..." Joe tried sitting up unsuccessfully. "But I think you have to look at what the dream is all about and figure out if it means anything in your life."
"I don't know, Joe. Its confusing."
"How does the dream end?" Joey scratched his leg and yawned widely. Lance looked over to the bed and thought hard. He could see the images so clearly. He had seen the same hills and sky and blanket and vision of Nick for months. He had dreamed it so many times. He had never remained asleep long enough to see the ending.
"I keep waking up before the end..." he whispered, almost realizing the impact of that discovery. Joey opened his eyes and slowly and slid down to get more comfortable on the bed.
"There's your problem." he grunted. "You have got to finish the dream." and then he drifted to sleep. Lance stood against the wall for a few minutes longer and turned down the lights. He crept out of the room and laid on the floor next to his own bed. Joey had actually helped him. He shut his eyes and let his mind wander. If he was lucky, he would be able to find that dream again. If he was lucky.
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Howie and Brian were sitting on a little couch that faced the windows. The room they were staying in had a great view of the park- but they were too involved with each other.
Brian ran his hands over Howie's back and pushed his warm, moist tounge into his boyfriend's mouth. They were breathing heavily and their hearts were racing. Both of them enjoyed a great make-out session when they were spending a night in a hotel. t was relaxing, sensual, romantic and special. They let their fingers linger on each others waists and chests and stomachs.
They took it slow. Brian ran his tounge over Howie's lips and smiled as he licked his chin quickly. They embraced tightly and passionately kissed each other. Their faces were slowly moving together. The dim yellowish light cast deep shadows on their luscious faces.
As they ended the kiss, they kept their lips touching for a moment. They both hated to separate the bond. Brian looked right into Howie's eyes. They didn't need words now. The eagerness and necessity for the love was right there in the eyes. They knew they needed each other. They knew what they meant to each other.
Brian and Howie moved from the small couch over to the long bed. The fresh, cool white sheets wrapped around them as they layed out next to each other and kissed again. The soft candles flickered on the dresser and the dripping wax slowly dried. The heat and majesty of the fire blended with the moans of pleasure coming from the two lovers.
Brian leaned on his one elbow and unbuttoned the top two buttons of his black pullover shirt. He grinned and sighed as he watched Howie discard his own t-shirt. His chest was well-defined and very smooth. He had a birthmark on his right shoulder that Brian loved to kiss "for luck". Howie had not had the chance to work out in over a month but he was still very muscular and well toned. Brian hummed in delight as he saw his boys body. It was a spectacular unveiling- no matter how many times he had seen it.
"I want your body." Brian leaned down to say it in his ear.
"Its yours." Howie grinned back. Brian's hand caressed Howie's cheek and shook his head.
"If I had your body, then you would have mine... and I don't want to have to look at mine." Brian stated. Howie quickly sat up and took the back of Brian's shirt so he could pull it off. They giggled and struggled until Brian was just as shirtless as Howie.
"You have an amazing body." Howie answered. They fell quiet and looked at each other. Brian was not as muscular as Howie but he was just as sexy. His smooth skin glistened in the masked light. "I think we can trade bodies..." Howie reassured. "But I would miss seeing yours."
They kiss again and blended together. Brian slid his body up against Howie's and laid on top of him. The hard cock concealed under two layers of clothing grinded into its counterpart.
A long "mmmmmmmmm" was shared between them as contact was made. Their skin meshed and pressed into each other. The connection was as much with their souls as it was with their bodies. Brian moved his hand down and grazed his fingertips along Howie's sensitive side. Howie burst out laughing as Brian continued to tickle him very slowly.
"Stop that." Howie snapped childishly and shook his finger at his lover.
"Or what?"
"Or I'll have to ask you to stop again!"
Brian rolled off of Howie and laid on his side. The air smelt of strawberries- an appealing aphrodisiac for these two. They bought the scented candles for just that purpose. Howie turned his head to face Brian and he moved his left hand over to his boyfriends jeans. He seductively rubbed the thighs and teased the abdomen. He excited every nerve on his lovers waist and legs. But Brian was avoiding the large bulge that had developed. He didn't want to rush anything.
Howie's eyes wanted him too- but Brian knew better. He took his hand away from the front of his pants and slid it down the back, in between the pants and the tie-dyed boxershorts. He kneaded his fingers into Howie's cheeks and kissed him again, letting his tounge linger and create a suction between their hungry mouths.
Howie decided he couldn't wait any longer and grinded fully into Brian's crotch. The friction they made was so powerful that Brian nearly came right then. He shut his eyes tightly and grinned in pleasure. He put his hand against Howie's chest to stop him. Neither of them wanted to do anything prematurely.
"I want you inside of me." Howie whispered heavily. Brian never broke eye contact and nodded after a moment. They both knew the eternal joy of sharing each other. They both kept it sacred, always. Howie leaned over the bed and reached into his backpack. He took out the lubricant he had with him. It isn't easy to get anything besides Vaseline when you are a celebrity. He had this jar for special occasions. Brian smiled.
They were each others first lovers. Brian could remember the first time they decided to do this. It was only a few months ago. They were both so nervous. They were trembling and fumbling. It was amusing in hindsight. But at the time, they just wanted to please each other. It was painful at first, they knew... but that's a sacrifice for love- and eventually it could give way to pleasure.
Brian stood to the side of the bed and unbuttoned his pants. He looked Howie in the eyes and felt a great joy inside of him. He was happy. This man was his. He let the pants slide down to reveal a pair of white boxerbriefs. He kicked off his jeans and raised his eyebrows. Brian pretended to model and laughed after a moment.
Howie laid across the bed and breathed the scent of strawberries in. He lifted up his hips and Brian pulled off his pants. His tie-dyed shorts glowed in the dark. They both smiled at each other. Brian threw their clothes in the corner and laid back on top of his boy. Their hot bodies grinding into each other and their flesh mingling together.
Brian rolled over and Howie rolled on top. He clenched his body as he applied pressure to the man beneath him. They let their tounges dance together as they shared a few passionate moans. These were feelings that no one else could ever get from them. Lust was not the same as love- no matter how it was divided up. Brian grabbed Howie's back and squeezed them closer together.
They finally discarded their underwear and looked at each other naked. They came to this afresh each time it occurred. They loved seeing it. They loved being there. They loved each other. Howie took his hands away from Brian's body and just stared. "I could look at you forever."
Howie took some of the lube from his jar and spread it out on Brian's hard dick. He felt his lover shudder and smile. He leaned down as his hand slowly jerked the slick substance and licked at Brian's chest. He laid back and Brian slowly moved on top of Howie. They paused a moment and looked at each other. They didn't want to hurt one another or do anything wrong. They wanted to make love perfectly.
"Tell me to stop if you need to." Brian licked at Howie's earlobe and kissed down his neck. Howie took a hold of Brian's ass and grinded into him. He then lifted his legs up and let Brian guide himself in. There was a slight grunt and Brian paused. He searched Howie's face for some indication of what was the matter.
"Keep going." Howie whispered eagerly. Brian waited a second and then pushed his hips further and felt half an inch sink inside of Howie. He gasped and lightly closed his eyes. He leaned forward and pushed his tounge into Howie's mouth as he moved forward. They both moaned and writhed on the bed. "Uhhhh, wait a second,sweetie." Howie broke the kiss and began breathing heavily.
"Are you all right?"
"I don't want to come yet." he giggled. Brian kissed him again and nodded. The flickering candles anxiously waited for the two boys to start again. Brian pressed his cheek up against Howie's and began to rythmically move his pelvis forward. He began slowly and increased his speed every few seconds. They were both moaning together, but not loud enough to be heard all over the hotel. They learned about the hard way.
Brian was sweating as he moved in and out at a very rapid speed. Howie closed his eyes and clenched his muscles for a more intense experience. Brian grunted one last time and released himself into Howie who then raised his body from the bed and came as well. The sweet fluids of the boys blended together and filled the air like the strawberries. Brian collapsed down onto his boyfriend and began to breathe heavily.
"I love you, Bri..." Howie whispered.
"Don't go away." he answered as he controlled his breathing and embraced his lover tightly. He didn't want to let go.
"Never."
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Nick walked into his hotel room and threw his key onto the table. He hadn't gotten the chance to unpack yet or take a look around the place. His first thought was to check and see what his view was like. He found the chord for the blinds and he opened them. As soon as the window was revealed, he was amazed. It wasn't the sites below that astonished him, but the ones above. New York was known for being polluted and smoggy but on this bitter cold night, he could see so many stars. The bright moon hung high as it always did. But for some reason, it didn't seem so alone.
He found Justin's number in his pocket and he smiled. It was such a great day. He was confused and lost but he seemed happier than he had been just one week before. It could mean so much to be with Justin and he wished he could clear it all up. Talking about it wasn't the easiest thing in the world but he knew he had to do it.
Nick opened up the window and stuck his head out. He looked down onto Central Park and watched his breath disappear before his eyes. The cars darted around below and left the streets empty. A few pedestrians wandered around by themselves and Nick hated to see so many people on their own. He rubbed his hands up his arms to keep warm and he brought his head back inside. He looked around the room. One hotel was just like another.
He sat down on the edge of his bed and began to hum to himself. It was one of their songs that kept getting caught in his head. It was claled, "I'll Never Break Your Heart". It was a promise, he guessed. And something he always wanted to believe. Nick never wanted to hurt anyone- especially in a relationship.
But he knew he wanted to be in a relationship. He took the chocolate from the pillow and popped it into his mouth. He smiled at the taste and his eyes were drawn back to the moon. He stepped over to the window once again and marveled at the universe. ~I wonder if everyone does this... or if its just me.~ he thought.
He closed the window up and ran his hand over the cool glass in front of him. Nick moved to the right and nearly tripped over an end table. He could have sworn it was not there a second ago. To catch himself from falling, he reached down to hold on to something. He found the phone was in his hand. Nick regained his balance and looked at the phone. He sighed and took a look at the slip of paper with Justin's handwriting. He reached down to dial, realizing he already had it memorized.
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I wish to thank all of those who have contacted me. I hope this part was all right. I will do my very best to get them out more often but the next two weeks are going to be hectic for me. Contact me for any reason at BrwyDevil@aol.com. Kevin.