This story involves members of the bands NSYNC. I am in no way implying anything about the sexuality of any of their members. This is purely a fictional story. Enjoy!
Please send any comments and/or suggestions to jaclarke@hotmail.com (ICQ #7964029)
Ryan and Lance - Part 9
Ryan stared at Lance in shock. He opened his mouth but no words came out. Hearing the silence only made Lance more desperate. "I'm sorry, Ryan. I never meant to lie to you," he sobbed. "I don't know what's wrong with me...I feel so worthless..."
"NO! Nothing is wrong with you, Lance, nothing!" Ryan's response surprised Lance and he stopped sobbing for a moment. "I'm not going to look at you any differently just because you're gay." Ryan was not telling the whole truth, since he now saw a chance that he could be with Lance, in a relationship that was more than one of mere friendship.
"You...you don't hate me?"
"NO!!" Ryan exclaimed. "How can I ever hate you? You're the kindest, sweetest person that I know. You know that!!"
Lance stared at Ryan with the saddest eyes, a look that made Ryan's heart ache. "Thank you, Ryan. This means a lot to me..."
Taking a deep breath, Lance began to tell Ryan about Eric. Ryan sat there listening to the singer recall the happy times and the pain. "...then he tried to grope me and kiss me...and when I refused, he pushed me to the floor...like I was a piece of garbage..."
"That bastard," Ryan said, feeling the anger rising in him. "How could anyone be so cruel?"
"Then he told me that he never had feelings for me...and that I was just his...his...toy..." Lance again broke down in tears.
Ryan hugged Lance and tried to comfort his friend. "It's okay now, Lance. He can never hurt you again..." As Lance calmed down a bit, Ryan continued. "Are you planning to tell the guys?"
"No!!!!!!! They can't find out," Lance quickly replied.
"Why? They're your friends."
"You don't understand. I'll lose everything if they ever found out."
"Maybe they'll accept you for the way you are."
"You haven't heard the things that Chris say about gay men...he hates them..." Lance trailed off into a whisper.
Somehow, Lance's comment didn't totally surprise Ryan. For some obvious reasons, he did not like Chris very much at all. "What about the other guys?"
"I don't know...but I don't want to take that chance."
Ryan wanted to continue persuading Lance but he knew that it was best not to push Lance too much. Seeing the bags under Lance's eyes, he decided that both of them should call it a day.
That night, Lance slept surprisingly well, perhaps feeling a sense of relief that at least one person in his life has accepted him for who he really was. In the next room, Ryan was tossing and turning all night long, unable to forget the image of Lance's painful sobbing, his agonized cry echoed in his mind over and over again. "Why do bad things always happen to good people?" he thought. "If only you knew how much I love you, Lance? I would never let anyone hurt you...never..."
Ryan got up at 7:30 the next morning for another day of school. He actually didn't mind going to school...in fact, he loved it. Even though he was away from school for over a year, he had little trouble catching up. He had always excelled in school and he was using this chance to make up for lost time. He took a quick shower, changed, and headed downstairs for his usual breakfast routine. He was surprised to see Lance already in the kitchen. Since Lance's back was facing him, Ryan had no idea of how Lance was feeling, so he decided to play it safe. "Morning, Lance."
"Morning, Ryan," Lance replied in a surprisingly cheerful tone of voice. "Have a seat, breakfast's almost ready."
Still startled by Lance's drastic improvement from the night before, Ryan took a seat by the table. Within a matter of minutes, Lance placed a breakfast feast in front of him.
"Well, eat away!" Lance said with a big smile.
Ryan stared into Lance's eyes in surprise, noting how different this Lance was from the Lance he saw only several hours earlier.
"What?" Lance asked with a puzzled look.
"Uh...nothing," Ryan muttered.
"I'm okay, Ryan. Really," Lance reassured Ryan.
"You sure?"
"Yep. Hey, life goes on, right?"
"I guess you're right."
"But thanks for what you said last night nevertheless. It meant a lot."
"No problem. I meant everything that I said."
Lance flashed his killer smile again took a sip of coffee while reading the morning paper.
"Lance, I think I need to tell you something."
Looking up from his paper, Lance said, "What is it?"
"Lance...remember what you said last night?"
"Uh-huh..."
"Well, it's just that...I'm gay..."
Lance almost choked on his coffee. He struggled to keep from laughing. "Okay, this is almost freaky. Two heart-to-heart confessions within a few hours..."
"So you're okay with it?"
"Aren't you forgetting that I'm gay too?"
"Oh yeah!" Ryan said with the goofiest smile.
"You're a goof, you know that?"
"You bring out the best in me, Lance," Ryan said with the cutest smirk.
JC sat by the keyboard in the studio, playing nothing in particular, his mind still preoccupied with the events of the previous night. "What's happening to this group...it's totally falling apart..." he thought to himself. He was so immersed in thought that he didn't notice the rest of the guys come into the studio. It was only when Justin knocked over a chair by accident did he notice the others guys.
"You okay, JC?" Justin asked.
"Yeah, just tired." JC then looked over and saw Chris. His eyes immediately flashed anger and fury. Chris sat in a corner by himself, since both Joey and Justin were avoiding him. Justin was still angry at Chris for the things he said in the car while Joey was just too confused about the whole situation.
"Morning guys," Lance said cheerfully as he entered the studio. He immediately noticed the awkward seating arrangements in the studio. "Did I miss something here?" he asked jokingly.
Justin and JC gave each other the 'what-the-hell-is-going-on' look but neither of them got an answer. Lance took a seat beside Justin and started passing out sheet music.
"What's this? 'Merry Christmas Happy Holidays?' Kinda early, don't you think, Scoop?" Justin asked.
"Well, not really, Just. We have to get the Christmas album ready. We have about 6 weeks to record 12 or 13 tracks."
"Christmas in May, interesting idea!" Joey remarked.
"I thought you'd find it unique," Lance replied.
Everyone was looking at their part with the exception of Chris. "You gonna join us, Chris?" Lance asked cheerfully. Everyone was still puzzling over the drastic improvement in Lance's mood.
Chris quietly came over and the practice started. Once the music got started, the rehearsal went smoothly. They were so into the singing that they didn't notice Ryan arriving at the studio. It was Justin who noticed Ryan standing outside the studio first. He waved and made a funny face, causing everyone else to stop singing to see who Justin was waving to.
Justin motioned for Ryan to come in and soon greetings were being exchanged at a frantic pace. "Ryan, what are you doing here? Don't you have school?" he asked curiously.
"I'm on lunch break...plus I have a spare after lunch so I thought I'd drop in to see how you guys were doing."
"Well, you certainly came at the right time...LUNCH TIME!!" Justin announced with delight as he dashed out of the room towards the cafeteria. Everyone else laughed at Justin's antics (Chris being the exception...again) and headed towards the cafeteria.
After getting their food, they all sat down and ate while engaging in a rather lively conversation. By now, Ryan was getting increasingly comfortable with the guys and he no longer worried about how the others saw him. Again, Chris was silent throughout and this did not escape Lance's careful observation. When Chris got up to get another glass of water, Lance followed him, hoping to reconcile their differences. Lance walked up to the counter where Chris was standing. "I'm sorry, Chris," Lance apologized.
"For what?" Chris asked quietly, without emotion.
"For being a jerk the last little while. I know I haven't been the friendliest guy around lately..."
Chris remained quiet for a while before chuckling lightly. "I give up, Lance. I give up. No matter what happens, you're always a nice guy. Can't anything or anyone get on your nerves?"
Lance laughed at Chris' comment.
"I truly should be the one apologizing, Lance. I've been a totally asshole the last few days to you, to Ryan, and to everyone else. I don't know what came over me but whatever it was, I'm ashamed of it. I just hope you'll find it in you to forgive me for my behaviour," Chris continued in a very subdued tone.
"Don't worry about it, Chris. Let's just pretend nothing ever happened between us, okay?"
"Deal," Chris replied with a smile.
"I really hope that you'll give Ryan a chance. He really is a great guy."
Chris nodded. "I know. I can see that he's a nice guy. Don't worry, I won't give him anymore trouble."
The two bandmates hugged and walked back to the table, where everyone was still engaged in their conversation.
Ryan leaned forward and whispered, "I don't know how you guys can stand eating this stuff everyday."
Justin laughed really loudly before covering his mouth to muffle his laughter. Everyone else was chuckling at the comment. "Well, Ryan, we can't really blame you," Joey answered. "I mean, you've been totally spoiled by Lance. Unlike you, we don't have our own private cook to serve us everyday, you know."
Lance gave him the evil look and jokingly punched Joey in the arm.
"You do have a point, Joey," Ryan replied, flashing a mischievous grin in Lance's direction.
"So what has Chef Lance cooked up for you so far, Ryan?"
"Well, I've had fettucine a la Lance, shepherd's pie a la lance, roast beef a la lance..."
"Wow, he's been feeding you well. We don't even get to eat all of that and we practically live with Scoop half the year!" JC remarked.
"But...it looks like Scoop here's been short changing you...he hasn't cooked up his specialty for you yet..."
"Oh?" Ryan asked curiously. "And what may that be?"
"CHICKEN A LA LANCE!!" everyone said at the same time.
"Ah, I see..." Ryan replied. He glanced over at Lance, who just rolled his eyes in mock frustration.
"Alright, alright, all of you come over for dinner tonight. I'll make chicken a la Lance tonight."
"ALRIGHT!!" everyone answered, acting like a bunch of grade school children.
Lance looked at the clock on the wall and smiled at Ryan. "Uh, Ry, don't you think you should start heading back to school? I mean, your next class starts in exactly 6 minutes..."
"OH...MY...GOD!!! I totally lost track of time!!" Ryan exclaimed. "Well, gotta run, guys. I'll see you tonight!!"
"Wait," Lance called out. "You'll never get back in time. Here," he said, throwing Ryan a set of keys. "Take my car."
Ryan's eyes grew wide with surprise. "You sure?"
"Just take it and go!!" Lance answered before adding, "just don't crash it!"
"Thanks!" Ryan said as he ran out the door and down towards the parking lot.
"He's a cool guy," Justin remarked after Ryan had left the room.
"Yeah, he sure is..." Lance answered softly.
...to be continued....
No cliffhanger this time. Hope you enjoyed this segment. Let me know what you think!!
As always, I'd love to hear any comments/ideas/questions. Please e-mail me at jaclarke@hotmail.com (ICQ #7964029)