****This story is completely fictional. It is not meant to imply anything about the sexuality of the real Ryan Phillippe or about any of the other people mentioned. Nor is it meant to be representative of the relationship of the real Ryan and Reese.
***Here is the third and final chapter to my holiday update of Ryan's Love. I'm sorry that it's taken me five months to get it out! I appreciate all of the emails people wrote me and the support for this story, three years after it began! Thank you.
The Christmas tree lights were the only source of illumination in the darkened living room. The guests were gone. Ava was finally sleeping. Reese had gone off to her own room.
My head was on Ryan's shoulder as we both looked at the tree, thinking our own thoughts. I glanced up at his face and felt a rush of safety and warmth, sitting there with the man I loved, his arm around my shoulders pulling me close against him.
He smelled so wonderful, like shampoo and soap and a hint of cologne, but underneath it all there was an intoxicating scent that was all Ryan. Nothing else could ever match it. It still made me go a little weak in the knees, but not like his smile did. When he gave me that devilish little grin of his, I melted completely, even after all the time we'd been together.
Ryan's eyes turned away from the tree and met my own. "What?" He asked, a soft smile playing around his lips.
I shook my head. I suddenly had a lump in my throat and couldn't get any words out.
"Are you okay?" Ryan asked, looking at me more closely.
I nodded and smiled and saw the relief on Ryan's face. He leaned forward, brushing his lips against mine. His kiss traveled down to my chin and then to my throat, causing little tremors throughout my body.
"I love you," I heard my own voice in the dark. I was surprised by the intensity of feeling behind it.
Ryan seemed to be, too, because he pulled back from kissing my neck and looked into my face. "I love you, too. Are you sure you're okay?"
I looked into his eyes and suddenly found myself remembering how sad Ryan's eyes had looked in my dream the night before. Dreams. Plural. They weren't a new thing.
"I'm okay," I smiled, saying the words automatically. Were they true? I didn't know for sure.
Ryan kissed me again and then pulled me against him again, turning his attention back to the tree.
"It was a pretty good party, huh?" he asked.
"Yeah. It was so great to see everyone again. AJ looked really great," I said, remembering how happy she'd been.
"Love does that to people. Look in the mirror sometime," Ryan whispered, kissing the top of my head.
We were quiet for a few more minutes, just sitting there in the reflected glow of the Christmas tree, together. There really were no need for words.
"Are you ready for your Christmas surprise?" Ryan asked as he unplugged the Christmas tree and we got ready to head to our room for the night.
"Does it involve you wearing nothing but a big bow?" I asked, giving him a little smile to let him know that was what I was really ready for.
"No, but that can certainly be arranged!" Ryan smiled.
In our room, Ryan closed the door and leaned up against it, reaching out to grab my waist and spin me around, facing him. He pulled me against him and our mouths met.
"Make love to me," I pleaded softly when we broke apart.
"What about my surprise?" Ryan asked, giving me the very grin that melted me.
"Later. I need you inside me, Ry. I need you so much," I said, reaching down and undoing his pants and slipping my hand inside his silk boxers.
"Oh," Ryan let a soft moan escape from his lips as I began to caress his cock. He closed his eyes for a minute and leaned his head back against the door, biting his lower lip.
I took advantage of his position to suck briefly on his exposed throat and then kissed my way down the bit of chest exposed by his shirt. When I'd reached the limit, I pushed his shirt up and moved down, caressing his perfect stomach with my mouth before finally dropping to my knees before him.
Tugging down his pants and boxers, I ran my hands up and down his muscular legs, savoring the sight before me. I wrapped my hand around his dick and began to stroke it slowly, bringing my tongue to his balls while I did so.
"Oh, yeah," Ryan moaned, his fingers running through my hair.
I licked Ryan's balls for a few minutes, delighting in the noises and gasps this activity elicited from him, as I continued to stroke his cock. Finally, I couldn't wait any longer. I had to taste him.
Ryan groaned loudly as my mouth engulfed the the head of his dick. His pre cum coated my tongue and I savored the taste that I could never get enough of, the taste of Ryan's excitement.
I sucked him slowly, taking my time, enjoying every second of it. Finally, I pulled back and looked up at him. His eyes looked down into mine, so full of love and desire that I felt a shiver run down my spine.
"I need you," I whispered.
"I need you, too," Ryan whispered back, reaching down to pull me up to my feet. "I always need you."
We kissed, an odd mixture of tenderness and passion, as we moved across the room towards our bed. Ryan kicked off his shoes and the pants and boxer shorts bunched around his ankles, then pulled his shirt off. I watched, enjoying every second of what many men and women in the world would have killed to see.
When he was naked, Ryan looked me up and down and smiled. "Allow me," he whispered. He slowly undressed me, pausing to caress and kiss me in various places as they were exposed.
Finally we were both standing there, face to face, completely naked.
"Make love to me," I said again.
Ryan wrapped his arms around me and we fell backwards onto the bed, Ryan on top of me, our hard cocks pressing together. We kissed for a few minutes while our hands explored each other's familiar bodies.
Ryan broke from the final kiss and looked down into my eyes. "I want you so much."
"I'm ready," I smiled.
Ryan sat up and grabbed the lube from the drawer next to the bed. He squirted some onto his fingers and turned back towards me. His eyes never left mine as his fingers found their way to my hole. I gasped as they slipped inside and grabbed onto his shoulders, just to hold myself steady.
When he was finished, I grabbed the lube from his hand and squirted some into my own hands. I reached down, taking his dick between them as I rubbed the lube all over it.
"I want to hold you," Ryan said softly. We always made love in a variety of positions, but I knew that this meant he wanted us to be laying together, back to front, with his arms wrapped around me as he did me from behind.
It was one of my favorite positions. I loved the feel of his body pressed against mine and his arms holding me close, I loved him whispering in my ear as he made love to me. The only position I loved more was when we were face to face and could look into each others eyes.
I smiled and turned over on the bed, my back towards him. He laid down, pressed in close, and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me against him, and kissed the back of my neck.
I gasped as I felt him begin to enter me. He went slowly at first, gentle until his length was all the way inside me. He stopped and nibbled a little on my earlobe. "Are you okay?" he whispered.
"Perfect," I moaned, pushing back into him. Ryan began to make love to me in earnest, sliding in and out with growing speed.
"Oh, yeah. Ryan...." I moaned his name several times. We always did our best to stay relatively quiet during love making, but sometimes it was very hard.
"You're so beautiful, Seth, God you're so beautiful. How did I ever get so lucky," Ryan whispered. "This feels so great, making love to you. You're so tight and so hot, and so perfect. I want to do this forever. I want to make love to you forever. I want my dick inside you always."
Ryan's whispered comments were a huge turn on and I felt my cock leaking pre cum all over the place, as if Ryan's voice had a direct line to it.
"I love you," Ryan said, reaching down to stroke my aching cock as he picked up the pace of his thrusts, his cock sending me to new places of ecstasy as it found my prostate each time.
"I love you, too," I groaned as I began to shoot all over Ryan's hand.
A few moments later, I felt him explode inside me and he let out an intense sound that was half grunt, half whimper. The sound of Ryan at his climax turned me on all over again, even thought it had only been seconds since I'd climaxed.
We remained in place for a few minutes, Ryan still inside of me, both of us catching our breath and just enjoying the connection and closeness between us, our bodies slick with mingled sweat and locked together.
Ryan finally pulled back with a final kiss on my shoulder. He turned over on his back and I rolled over onto my side, facing him. I watched as he brought his hand to his lips and began to slowly lick my cum off of it.
"You taste so good," Ryan grinned at me, his crystal blue eyes sparkling.
"Careful! We might have to go again, if you keep that up," I smiled, glancing down at my dick, which was getting hard again.
"If I keep this up?" Ryan asked, playfully reaching out and grabbing my cock. "Is this what you're talking about?"
"Ryan!" I laughed.
"I'm always up for more, where you're concerned," Ryan said, his face serene in the afterglow of our love making.
"Oh, really?" I asked. He was now actively stroking my dick, which was nearing it's full length.
"Yes, really. I want you to make love to me tonight, too," Ryan said, looking into my eyes.
I smiled and leaned over to kiss him softly on the lips. "Talk about an offer you can't refuse!"
"Oh, you could refuse, I guess. I'd be crushed, because I really want you inside me tonight, but I'd survive," Ryan sighed in mock self sacrifice.
"No, I couldn't refuse. Even if I wanted to, they'd kick me out of the gay men's union if I did. I mean, do you know how many members of that union want to be in my position?" I asked with a smile.
"There's quite a few who wouldn't mind being in my position, either," Ryan grinned.
"Well, we'll just have to do it for all those poor guys who can't be us," I laughed.
"Sounds good to me," Ryan said. He reached over for the lube and soon had my cock ready. I took a minute to get him lubed and then rolled over on top of him.
Kissing his full lips, I looked down into his eyes. "Are you ready?"
"Very," Ryan whispered. He raised his legs up and I tucked them under my arms. I leaned forward, my forehead touching his, and looked deep into his eyes as I slid my cock inside of him.
Ryan moaned and I saw a mixture of pleasure and pain flicker in his eyes. I waited until he gave me a slight nod and then I began to thrust in and out, slowly at first, and then with growing momentum.
Ryan was mostly a top, just as I was mostly a bottom, but from time to time I made love to him and it was something we both enjoyed. It was like a special bonus that a lot of couples didn't ever get to experience, the role reversal. I was able to feel what Ryan felt when he made love to me, and Ryan was able to experience being made love to. It gave us a fuller appreciation of each other's feelings.
We looked into each others eyes as I made love to him, never breaking eye contact. Ryan's hands clenched onto my ass and pushed me forward again and again, as if he needed me as deep inside him as possible.
I felt myself reaching the peak. Ryan must have seen this in my eyes because I suddenly felt him clenching his ass tightly around my cock, sending me over the edge as that hot, damp, tightness engulfed my hardness in a new way.
"Oh God!" I groaned as I felt my dick explode for the second time. I collapsed forward, face down on the pillow, my body on top of Ryan's. His hands began to caress my back, sliding up and down in gentle, loving motions.
"That was incredible," Ryan whispered into my ear.
"You're incredible," I whispered back, raising my head and kissing him again.
"Let's take a quick shower," Ryan smiled back at me.
The water was hot and soothing as we washed away the mixture of sweat and our love and stood holding each other under the steady stream.
I knew that I had to tell him. I couldn't keep it quiet any more, he had to know.
"Ryan..." I started, then stopped. I wasn't sure what to say, exactly.
"What?" He smiled at me, his eyes so filled with love and happiness. The opposite of the way they looked in the dreams. Would they still look that way when I told him?
"I've been having these dreams," I finally said.
"Dreams about what?" Ryan asked. He still had one arm around my waist, holding me close, but he raised the other to caress my cheek as he asked.
"Well... they're sort of confusing. There's always something false. Something that looks like one thing, but really is another. And that feels so nice and so safe. And then... then you tell me it's time to go and I say I can't, I can't go," I explained in a rush.
"That's weird. Why haven't you said anything? You're upset," Ryan sounded concerned.
"I.. I don't know. I've been scared to, I guess. Scared of hurting you," I explained.
"Why would it hurt me?" Ryan asked. His eyes were on mine, and there was no sadness yet, just love and a concern for my feelings.
"Because I think I know what it means," I said. "It's about us. Us and Reese and Ava. The way things are. I... I don't want it to end."
"Why would it end?" Ryan asked.
"That's the plan, right? You and Reese staying married for a few years, for Ava's sake, and then ending it. So that we can be together and you can come out," I reminded him.
"And you don't want that?" Ryan asked.
"I do, but... I don't at the same time. I really love the way things are. We're a family. Not a conventional one, I know. And it will have to end, sooner or later, I know that. Not just for us, but for Reese. But I'm just not ready for that. This is the happiest I've ever been," I said what I'd been holding back for so long and waited to see the sadness in Ryan's eyes. I knew that more than anything, he wanted to be able to acknowledge to the world what we shared, and do it as soon as possible.
"Seth, it's okay. We'll do things slowly. We'll do them when it's right, for all of us. I promise. And I'm not hurt by your feeling that way. I feel that way, too, a lot of the time. Ava is so amazing and the three of us, we're her parents," Ryan said. I felt a rush of love for him, and relief that he wasn't hurt by my reluctance to move forward just yet.
"And even when we do go to that next stage, that's not going to change. We're always going to be Ava's family, the three of us. I promise," Ryan said.
I wrapped myself around him a little tighter, pulling him into a hug. "I love you so much, Mr. Phillippe."
"I love you, too. But aren't you forgetting something?" Ryan asked.
"What?" I didn't raise my head from his shoulder, I just want to hold onto him forever.
"My Christmas surprise for you," Ryan reminded me with a playful pinch on my ass.
"Ow!" I laughed, standing back and looking at him while I rubbed the spot he'd pinched me.
"Shall I kiss it and make it all better?" Ryan gave me that devilish little grin.
"Don't tell me that's my Christmas surprise!" I rolled my eyes.
Ryan laughed. "No, it's not. Actually, it's a surprise for all of us."
"What is it?" I asked, genuinely curious.
"I'll give you a hint. It's far too big to put a bow on," Ryan said.
I looked down at his cock and raised an eyebrow.
"Seth! Be serious!" Ryan laughed.
"Okay, okay. Um... a new car?"
"Less mobile," Ryan said.
"A used car?" I laughed.
"Seth!" Ryan swatted me on the ass.
"Um... a new house?" I asked, ready to be swatted again for my lack of serious guessing.
Ryan just grinned widely at me, water cascading off his perfect body.
"Ryan?" I asked, the question in my voice.
"I forgot you were so good at guessing games," Ryan said.
"You bought a house?" I asked, shocked.
"Well, this place was good for me when I lived alone. And it was perfect for us when you first came to live with me. But it's too small for all four of us," Ryan explained.
"Oh my God, Ryan!" I half laughed, half shouted.
"Good surprise?" Ryan asked.
"Great surprise," I smiled.
"If you don't like it, we can take it back," Ryan said. I could tell that he was only half joking.
"I'll love it. You've got great taste," I said, kissing him.
"I have great taste in guys, anyway," Ryan smiled, kissing me back.
"One question!" I pulled back, forcing my face to take on a serious look.
"What?" Ryan asked.
"Does our room have a private bathroom with a big shower?" I asked, breaking into a smile.
"What do you think I am, crazy? Of course it does! I wouldn't give up these showers with you for the world!" Ryan laughed.
"Then it's perfect," I said, meaning it. "But you know what?"
"What?"
"This really blows the watch I got you out of the water!"
Ryan laughed and kissed me again.
"I'll love it," he smiled. "I love you."
Ryan's love. That was the best gift I'd ever been given.
***That's it. Sorry again for the long delay. You can write me at justins_boy@hotmail.com