Sacraments
©MCVT2017 November 6, 2016
Peculiar characters lurking around the intersection of sexuality and spirituality seeking a cosmic personal moment.
Adult Content/100% Fiction: Bi, ene, drug, cannibalism, body mod, self mod, fetish. _____________________________________________________________________
First, it was only speck in the southern sky then the sound of its engine hummed in the distance. I couldn't stop smiling as the bush pilot circled and dipped a wing before lowering to the lake and gliding to a stop near the pier. My only child Starr arrived.
Starr and I planned her visit for weeks, and I was excited when she emerged ahead of the pilot.
She had grown during the last six months, or maybe she had shed the last of her teen shape as she readied to enter college. But she still wore her shiny black hair short, in a pixyish cut, making her brown eyes seem larger. My girl had always been a cute child. Now she was a striking woman and as tall as me.
"Dad!" We held our embrace as we swayed with joy. She had an athletic body, leggy and lean, and dazzling physical grace alongside my still strong but slowly rounding body.
"Yes. Yes. Yes. You're finally here." After this visit, I would have to shift to the sidelines of her life and cheer her toward success in her career. We planned hiking, horseback riding and panning for gold during this last visit.
Undergraduate life enlightened me to the fact that I was gay -- not a problem except for my parents. Graduate life and its pressures took me to drugs and alcohol to relieve the familial pressures to date. I tried that route and in a moment of drunken stupor I did it. My penis entered a vagina and I ejaculated. Fell on the bed to sleep off the incident. I never had much of a social life after that -- a teaching assistant paying child support was wearing. Her mother and I shared custody for years until I moved to the woods when Starr started high school. My daughter visited me for two or three weeks every summer bringing some needed charm to our tiny outpost.
Working cloistered in the woods was a perfect life for me except for missing my daughter, we kept in touch almost daily with emails and texts.
As a veterinary pathologist, I'm the one who autopsies dead wildlife and keeps tabs on potential disease outbreaks. I wasn't on anyone's list of exciting partners, and that was okay with me, I had plenty of work. My work is not particularly pleasant, and it is a necessary one. We all live downstream from someone else; if not downstream, downwind.
Starr didn't like the idea of so many dead animals that came through my lab, but she relished life in my four-room cabin in the fresh air surrounded by a small garden and piney woods on a gentle slope near an icy-cold lake.
I took Starr's bag and strapped it on my horse "Red" and we began walking through the collection of little shops and houses to the cabin. The day was warm, and people waved and greeted Starr as we passed. In a community of about two hundred without many visitors, her annual visit was a novelty and cause for celebrations.
Starr told me about her high school graduation, visiting colleges, and the friends she would be with. When we got back to the cabin, I noticed she was sweating and moving slowly. "Are you alright?"
"I think I must have eaten something on that last flight that didn't agree with me." She said. Her face was bright red. "Sometimes I don't travel so well."
At the cabin I dug into my medical bag and found a thermometer. "Your face feels hot."
"No Dad. Not that."
"You're old enough to check your own temperature." I handed her a rectal thermometer.
She took the thermometer into her bedroom. I heard her undress and climb on the narrow bed. I waited five minutes, then ten. When she didn't come out, I went in to find that she had fallen asleep on her side with the rectal thermometer still inserted deeply. Not wanting to embarrass her, I covered her with a blanket, then slipped my hand underneath and drew the thermometer out gently.
"One hundred and one." We had no doctor in town, not even a pharmacy just a few things at the general store. We did have a nurse to call, and a clinic over the mountains. I wondered what to do, the clinic was a four hour drive.
She slept for several hours, and then woke up groggy and staggered to the kitchen. Starr didn't to want to eat, and slumped in her chair, refusing everything I offered.
"We can call the nurse right now. Okay?" I asked.
"No."
"Okay, we have to use what we have." I gave her two aspirin and a cup of tea and watched while she rubbed her belly again and again.
After considering my options, I asked, "Let's go out to the back porch and clean things out. Remember when you were little and we used the water bag? That helped."
She didn't like that idea at all, shooting me a hard look.
"You can do it yourself." I told her. "Enema or call the nurse. Your decision."
She changed into a long tee shirt and met me on the back porch where we had done this several years ago after a distressing colonic event from overeating wild blackberries. I mixed warm water with gentle peppermint soap and half-filled the rubber bag, and then hung it on a rope I threw over a rafter. After I bled the air out of the tubing I left her to self-administer.
A few moments later, "Dad. Can you help me?" She couldn't keep the nozzle in place.
"Let me see."
As she leaned over the porch railing I pulled up her shirt to leaving only her buttocks open to the cool air.
Gently, I stretched her cheeks apart and saw her dark pink sphincter stubbornly shut. I rubbed it with my thumb and pulled at the tight muscles, pressing my thumb inward and upward allowing just enough room for the tip to enter her. I pushed the nozzle in rapidly and deeply.
Starr gasped.
"Sorry. It's been a long time since I did anything en vivo." I explained.
Starting with a slow, gentle stream, I let the water flow into her. She moaned several times. After emptying the bag, I withdrew the nozzle and pressed her cheeks together to help her hold the liquid. To comfort her, I massaged her lower back and her buttocks. Her vulva was dampening, and I could smell a muskiness I never noticed before. That was of little importance when I considered her fever and discomfort.
After a few minutes Starr told me she couldn't wait any longer. I waited on the porch to rinse the soapy residue with another cleansing, this time with a larger measure of cool water. She let me help her the second time and went to bed after she came out of the bathroom.
Later that evening I asked her to walk into town with me for dinner at our local cafe. The walk was only fifteen minutes. She was able to enjoy the night air but wasn't able to eat.
We returned and she had tea with me on the front porch listening to the night birds. Starr told me about the school activities she had participated in along with her future plans at the university. She seemed to have a lot of girlfriends, and I didn't hear her mention any male names.
"Are you dating anyone?" I asked. "You know they'd be welcome here."
Starr didn't answer me for a long time. "No."
"Oh." I chuckled. "No wonder your grades are so high." I maneuvered the conversation to a more general topic.
"I'm waiting." Was all she said.
"Okay." Prying usually proved unproductive with Starr. "Maybe she's considering her sexuality - she could be bisexual or lesbian or have some other affinity I wasn't aware of. Maybe she was asexual, pansexual - never could keep all that straight, but I'll love her regardless." I thought.
As we stood to go inside, she told me. "I don't want to date the guys always want sex and it hurts."
"Did you try?" I asked softly, looking away.
"Sort of... but it hurt, you know, inside - inside my vagina." She turned away
"Okay." I didn't really understand and she didn't appear willing to discuss it further.
We sat on the couch together looking through old photographs and laughing at the changes the years had made and went to bed.
At breakfast, Starr still couldn't eat, and she was trying to smile.
"Do you need another rinse?" I asked.
"Yeah. That helped a little yesterday."
While Starr stripped down to the long shirt, I filled the bag with again and met her on the porch. This time I brought a chair and sat down. I asked her to lay over my legs letting her belly fall between my parted thighs. I brought a dollop of lotion on my fingertip.
"I'll make it easier today." I told her, and my fingers worked her anus gently with small, slow circles and I probed deeply noticing she still had a low fever. Finally, I felt the tight anal sphincter surrender. I held her cheeks open and watched while I slipped the nozzle fully and easily into place. When I opened the flow, I asked her to tell me when the water felt like the water was moving easily inside her. After adjusting the angle of the nozzle, she had no complaints.
I enjoyed the feeling of being needed. "Does that feel good?" I asked.
"Yes and no." She whispered.
Her vagina was moist. Her labia engorged with blood, hot and pink. My other hand slipped between my legs and I rubbed her swelling belly and spoke with her softly while we waited. "Yes. Yes. Yes. This is going away, all going away soon." It seemed she took some comfort from my ministrations.
During the following rinse, I asked out of curiosity. "Starr, if sex hurts, have you told your mom? Did she take you to the doctor?"
"Dad, I don't want to go to the doctor. I just want to wait."
"Honey, you're at an age you must feel sexual arousal, and I'm surprised that you haven't found a way to enjoy yourself."
"I do enjoy myself, you know. I masturbate, but I don't put anything inside. Not for lack of trying."
That evening we walked into town and Starr had a small bowl of soup. That was a good sign her health was returning. We walked around the town for about an hour together greeting old friends and reminiscing about our previous summers.
When we got home I told Starr, "If you're having internal, well, vaginal pain so intense you can't, um, well - you can't take any penetration that could be a problem. I may want to be a grandfather one day."
"Dad. Enough." She blushed.
I shut up, kept my concern to myself and put Red in the barn.
The next day we packed the horse and hiked for several hours along the trails.
"How's your stomach today?" I asked.
"A little better."
"We're going to try one more time before I call the nurse." I told her. "Hon, I don't have much else in my medical bag."
She started to protest and stopped herself. The procedure went well and we dressed for our hike.
Several miles into the woods, I took my rucksack off Red and helped Starr on the saddle.
"He needs a good run. I'll meet you back at the cabin." I slapped the horse's rump hard and Starr gripped the reigns. They took off down the trail in a brisk trot. That gave me time to think.
That night Starr went to bed early after eating one piece of toast with a cup of tea.
While she slept I gathered a few supplies and equipment from my lab and my medical bag. After I disinfected them, I placed them on a small tray and covered them with a towel, slipping them under my bed. At the bottom of my medical bag I found several soporifics, and dissolved a tablet in a few spoons of water, and put this mixture in the enema bag.
In bed, that night, I wondered why Starr couldn't penetrate her vagina. She seemed to have a healthy libido and normal responses to stimulation. I was curious but stymied about gathering any further verbal information.
In the morning, Starr tried being a little more cheerful, but still refused anything other than tea and toast.
"I'd like you to try a treatment for your stomach." I told her. "It might make you sleepy for a few hours, but I think it could solve the problem."
She seemed satisfied with that, and I asked her to come to my bedroom and lay over my lap. "You can sleep on my bed when we're done."
When she saw the enema tubing and bag, she stopped. "Dad, my butt is sore."
"This or the clinic." I held up the black plastic nozzle. "This isn't soapy water. It's like a tisane - some of our local herbs. It's less than a pint, so you won't rush to the bathroom." I explained. "C'mon, let's go to my bedroom, you can rest on my bed while it works."
I took the bag to the kitchen and carefully poured four ounces of fairly warm water, shook it up and drained the air out of the tube. The warmer water would help the medication absorb quickly. I brought my chair and placed it near the foot of my bed, tying the bag on the bedpost with a sock as she entered in her long shirt.
"Let's hope this works so we don't have that long drive to the clinic." I patted my thigh inviting her to assume our usual positions. "We could leave tonight, or in the morning before dawn if this doesn't work."
Carefully, I lifted the long shirt, and I gently lubricated and probed her anus, noting when she sighed and when I felt the muscles between her legs twitch. Starr groaned when the warm water started dribbling slowly inside her.
"That's hot." She complained.
"Yes. Yes. Yes. All better soon. Relax. Breathe."
I massaged her rear and held the nozzle deeply inside her. When she tried to move, I pressed down on her back, keeping her in place. Using more lubrication, I massaged around her anus, and I gripped her buttocks pressing deeply, kneading the muscles soothingly. The medication was entering her bloodstream quickly and her breathing became regular then slowed.
"Do you need to go to the bathroom Starr?" I asked to test the medication's absorption rate. She was too drowsy to answer. I kept her on my lap until her body relaxed completely and she slept deeply.
Tossing the enema equipment aside and massaging her cheeks and anus to make sure all the medicated fluid was taken in and wrapped my arms around her waist. I stood, laying her torso on foot of my bed. Her legs dangled to the floor. I pulled her shirt up and my eyes explored her smooth skin and dainty breasts with pale brown areolas. The center knots were deeper brown and began to tighten in the cool air. I ran my hands along her waist and her hips as I stood between her legs. "Beautiful."
Then I carefully bent each leg at the knee and tied each to a bedpost. I made sure that her legs were not tied too tightly, yet as far apart as possible. With a pillow under her buttocks, I exposed her vaginal area to the sunlight coming through my window behind me.
"I made this perfection." I thought and smiled.
Pulling my chair close to her vulva, I brought my tray of equipment and sat it near me and began. This required a very delicate touch - my hands had to work efficiently with minute moves - I had to work as quickly as I could.
I dried her vulva and labia, and applied tape to hold her tightly open and I looked inside my daughter's vagina. Gently separating of the inner folds of her labia, I found what I was searching for. Her hymen was imperforate, intact but with several small openings and a deep rose color. Carefully, I probed with my fingertip. It was tight and resisted light pressure.
I chose one of the gaps on the tightly stretched tissues protecting the depth of her vagina. That minute gap was my starting point. With a swab, I applied a topical anesthetic in and around the tiny gap on her hymen.
Taking a pair of very thin tweezers I grabbed the hymen through the minuscule opening, and with a narrow, pointed blade I punctured the unwilling tissues.
Keeping a grip on the small bit of her hymen, I incised carefully across the stubborn tissue toward the wall of her vagina. Several drops of blood emerged immediately. From the gap, I made a similar cut at another angle and pulled the shred of tissue away. With one rapid nick, I freed a slender bit of her hymen. I had removed half of the impasse.
I held up the small strip of tissue and inspected it. The thickness was more than I expected. "That must be the problem." I thought and placed the tiny bit of tissue on my tongue. A metallic taste filled my mouth and a feeling of closeness with my daughter filled me as I sucked on the tiny fragment. With a few more notches cut, a few more releases and a few more samples, I made a way for my daughter to feel the satisfaction of full, deep penetration without a painful initiation.
Those moments of informal surgery felt incredibly sacred - I could almost feel my soul tremble considering a future child moving through this passage toward life. A feeling of being a part of a greater, eternal flow of life filled me.
After removing most of her hymen, and I began stretching her vagina wider with one finger, then two. I pushed and rubbed around the delicate ring that had held her hymen in place knowing that this could be painful, and she wouldn't feel or remember any of it.
With my fingers, I pushed deeper inside her and pressed on her belly with my other hand, feeling her uterus, then her ovaries full of tiny eggs. I massaged her cervix.
Tears came to my eyes, "This is the miracle I made." My tears fell on her clitoris. Slowly I withdrew my fingers from her intimate parts licking her rich flavors from them.
Then, with my lips at her vagina, I licked her fresh blood and fluids. I savored her taste and the smell of her. Finally, I dampened a styptic pen and dabbed the open tissues bringing the bleeding to an immediate stop and applied a heavy coating of topical anesthetic where the tissues were disrupted and had started to swell.
In an effort to return her vaginal opening to it's normal state, I licked just inside her vagina then rubbed an alum bar over my saliva, making sure she was as tight as before I began.
When I was satisfied that her liberation was complete, I inspected the perfection of her pink, sensitive orchid-petal lips and kissed them softly. After removing the adhesive tape and untying her legs I moved her body to the center of the bed and laid her on her side covering her with my old plaid bathrobe.
Starr continued sleeping as I cleaned up my equipment silently and put it away.
I heard her waking late in the afternoon. After bringing her coffee I let her fully wake while we talked about going panning for gold in two days.
"Would you go into town and see if our supplies arrived yet?"
She agreed. With the horse saddled, I brought him around to the front porch so she could mount easily from the steps. She grabbed the saddle horn, put one foot in the stirrup and swung her leg over the saddle.
"Oh!" She gasped and immediately regained her footing on the steps.
"What happened?" I asked.
"I'm not sure." She stopped and leaned over slightly.
With a concerned look, I asked, "Have you wrenched a muscle?"
She didn't answer me.
"Let me call the nurse if you've twisted your back." I reached into my pocket for my phone.
Starr was having nothing to do with a clinic and took my phone out of my hand placing it back in my vest pocket. "I'm fine."
At dinner that night I asked if she felt better. Starr admitted that the pain had passed, but she felt a twinge when she tried to mount the horse. "It felt different, like something changed."
"Maybe your hymen broke." I commented softly and continued washing the dishes. I'm sure she heard me.
We had a rousing card game that evening with several neighbors and put away several six packs together as we recalled the previous summers.
The next morning, we woke late and Starr ate a good breakfast. As we read the news and drank our coffee I asked if she felt better.
"I think I need one more morning on the back porch." She told me.
Without showing any surprise, I finished my coffee and started mixing the soapy water and filling the bag. She went to the back porch in her long shirt and waited for me. We began again, as before, with her laying over my lap. I lengthened the time it took to lubricate her anus and massaged slowly. This time, she moved her hips so slightly, almost asking for more stimulation, it seemed. I obliged silently and watched her vaginal area engorge, redden and moisten in response.
After she returned from the bathroom, Starr was smiling. "I'm ready for the rinse." We went back out on the porch in the fresh, cool air.
"Honey, your old man's getting too stiff for this hard chair. Let's do this on your bed."
In her bedroom, Starr lay down and opened her legs to me without any consideration to modesty. Again, I stifled my responses, and continued in my usual way. I knew the correct position was on her left side, and I don't think she knew that. But I respected her decision.
Sitting on the foot of her bed, I was able to hang the bag on the dresser drawer handle and access her easily - manually and visually.
This time I pushed her knees toward her chest and applied lubrication along her cleft to deep inside her anus, pressing more of it deeply into her rectum using two fingers.
I watched her face when I penetrated her deeply, "Tell me when you feel comfortable." I whispered.
"That's good."
I continued deeply twisting and probing knowing this was extremely sensual for her. Her candid responses relaxed me. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply and laid her head back.
"Are you ready for the water?"
"Not yet."
I didn't use more lubrication, her vagina supplied plenty. Slowly, I pushed and twisted my fingers in her anus, and pressed my thumb alongside her vagina for leverage to pull out slowly before I twisted and plunged deeply into her again and again. Starr's breathing and body made it clear she was extremely aroused.
When I saw her sexual tension was high, I gently spread my fingers and inserted the enema nozzle between them and told her to relax her legs. "Put your feet down on the bed, keep your knees bent." As the water began filling her I kneaded and massaged along the dusty pink cleft that had swallowed the black nozzle.
"Are you comfortable?" I asked.
"Yes." Her knees slowly fell fully open as she relaxed further enjoying the physicality of the procedure.
I stopped the water flow about half way and placed my hand on her belly. Watching the swelling in her slim torso was engrossing, and pressed small circles along her left side to ease her for more water.
Holding the bag high, allowing small amounts of fluid out but with greater pressure.
Starr moaned several times, "Dad, it hurts."
Every time she complained, I shut the valve and asked her to show me where it hurt. My fingertips pressed against the tightened skin across her belly.
"Yes. Yes. Yes. Breathe, and relax."
Her right hand was nearing her mons.
"Not yet, honey." I whispered.
When the enema bag was empty, I pulled the nozzle out and inserted my finger deeply inside her anus. Then I took her hand and placed her fingertips over her clitoris and pressed them downward giving her silent permission to please herself. I took her other hand and placed her fingertips at then opening of her vagina.
"Go ahead."
I squeezed her buttocks tightly against my finger keeping the water tightly contained inside her and twisted my finger slowly. My mind replayed how that felt the first time for me.
She began rubbing her clitoris hesitantly at first. With her other hand she began to probe her vagina with her fingers, exploring more and more deeply. She explored herself without pain while she moaned with pleasure. I could feel her fingers through the thin wall between her vagina and her rectum. My penis was leaking as I watched her and recalled the stimulation from that rub inside my rectum.
She occasionally spread her labia so I could watch her contractions happen while her vagina oozed fluids. Her sexual anticipation and swollen belly were magnificent. The smell of her arousal engulfed us. Her breathing and her motions became faster as her arousal increased.
Absorbed with this scene, I felt that this was more of a spiritual gift to me than a sexual act. Watching her complete, natural enjoyment was deeply moving, almost holy; quiet and more intimate than anything I expected. With each stroke on her clitoris, I felt a deep tugging in my solar plexus filling me with profound appreciation for unnamed, unspoken connections between our bodies.
The muscles around her anus contracted along with her vagina, kissing my finger as I probed deeper and twisted more rapidly during her last few gasps before climax. I watched spellbound as she brought herself to the endorphin rush of orgasm. Her contractions continued for quite a while. When her body recovered, her eyes opened and she smiled. Slowly, I withdrew my finger and smiled. Her face had a dreamy, satisfied look.
That afternoon I spent an hour alone in my bedroom with the door shut. After ejaculating until my penis and felt raw and my testicles ached, I pressed my prostate and stroked more fluids into the little cup where I saved everything my body generated.
When I felt satisfied with my production, I took out the topical anesthetic and applied a liberal coating on my foreskin. Holding my breath, I began making my contribution. With the tweezers and the blade I'd used on Starr, I took a small part of my foreskin and sliced it off. I continued, feeling impelled to offer equal measure to complete my ethereal journey with the woman I had made. I tried to make my semi-circumcision even, and my snips left me with an almost elliptical opening, but who would know?
I felt determined, even knowing how much pain this would bring later, and I put the bits of my foreskin in the cup with my ejaculate. Using the styptic pen I stopped the bleeding and then applied a heavy coating of antibiotic ointment to the tip of my penis.
The returning pain felt cleansing and almost joyful when I finished my work and put my equipment away. When I fully regained my composure I went back to the kitchen then puttered around the garden while Starr was out riding the horse and visiting friends.
When she returned I smiled, she seemed cheerful, too. I sent her into town to buy a bottle of wine for dinner that night. "Whatever you like."
When she returned we opened the bottle and had several glasses before we dined. The kitchen was filled with the smell of fresh bread. The frittata was filled with fresh vegetables from the garden and spiced with my most intimate offerings.
I felt whole and content as I washed the dishes that night, thinking of our exchange of body and blood, and her allowing me to participate in her first deep pleasure as a woman.
As we sat out on the porch that night I asked, "How's your tummy now? Feeling better?"
"I feel wonderful." She said, then later, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you this morning."
"Do I need to apologize for encouraging you?" I asked. "I didn't stop you, and I didn't leave." We didn't say anything for a long time.
I put my arm around her, "Let's consider it blessing that we're healthy - and file this morning in the very back of our memories, okay? Everything's alright now, isn't it?" She nuzzled against my neck and I felt her nod in agreement.
I kissed her hair and squeezed her against me. "Yes. Yes. Yes."
Fin.