Sad Song of a Gay Teen

Sad Song of a Gay Teen 25

SAD SONG OF A GAY TEEN 25!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This story is copyright 2006 by yours truly, Paul Walker. You may not copy or post it to any other website without my permission. All the characters are entirely fictional and any resemblance to people, either living or otherwise is pure coincidence. The story contains acts of a sexual nature between teen males and if this offends you, then leave now. If you are under the legal age to be reading this in your territory, then leave now or it's your problem.

Please e- mail all comments to mailto:wdreamtime@aol.com

You can also check out my music page at http://www.soundlift.com/BRAINCHIPS

Hi everyone. As it was such a big gap between the posting of chapters 23 and 24, I have decided to give you all huge bonus and to post chapter 25 at the same time as chapter 24. Now sit back and enjoy.

From the previous chapter!!!!!!!!!!!

Dean invited us all to their house later that day for a barbecue and welcome home party. Before we all headed off to our own homes dad talked to the five of us from the band and said that we could have Monday off but we would still bill the record company for the days studio time. He also said, “ it will give the producer time to get things set up,”

My response to this was, “ dad, aren't you forgetting that we are the producers for this album?”

“ Well have the day off anyway,” he said.

On the way home we stopped at the shop to get some milk and bread and a few other bits for breakfast. It had been a fantastic trip but it was great to get home.

SAD SONG OF A GAY TEEN 25 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After breakfast we just spent Sunday getting unpacked and listening to music. One CD we listened to in particular was called ON AN ISLAND by David Gilmour, the guitarist and vocalist from Pink Floyd. Liam had bought it during one of our shopping trips in Darwin. It was a great album and there was a track that Liam really liked. The instrumentation on the track consisted of Piano, acoustic guitar, cello, violin and drums. I have to admit that the arrangement was beautiful. Liam asked if we could do something like that with one of his songs and so I suggested that I would do an alternative arrangement of BAD PART OF TOWN using that instrumentation. We could get Nick in on cello and Sean on violin. We wouldn't use the track on the album but it could be used as an additional track on one of the singles.

At around 1pm we were sat in the kitchen talking to Gary as he put the finishing touches to some Macaroni cheese with bacon and cauliflower that he was preparing for lunch when the door bell rang. I went and answered it and was pleased, if a little surprised to see Carol. It had been a while since I had seen her and so I invited her in and asked her to join us in the kitchen. She looked really well and had a nice tan. When I asked her why, she told me that it was due to the fact that she had just returned from a three week holiday in The Bahamas. Carol did say that she had called to see my grandparents and was surprised to find they were not in. I told her that I had paid for them to have a holiday in Australia and that they wouldn't be back for another two weeks

As she entered the kitchen Gary said, “ hi Carol, it's good to see you again. Would you like to join us for lunch?”

“ If it's not a problem and you are sure there is enough to go around” Carol said. “ By the way, were are Phil and Jane?”

“ They went to the supermarket and were complaining as they left that having four and occasionally five hungry teens in the house means we go through way to much food. Jamie and Greg took all the washing to the laundrette,” Gary replied.

Just then the music came through from the lounge at a really high volume. It was a Pink Floyd track that had a fantastic guitar intro. As I heard it my initial reaction was “ holy shit!!!” Not because of the music itself but due to the fact that it was so loud when I hadn't expected it to be.

Carol looked at me and said, “ Jason, I'm not sure that language like that is allowed in polite company.”

“ Sorry,” I said by way of apology.

Just as I said that Liam entered the kitchen and said, “ oops, I didn't know we had company.” He went back to the lounge to turn down the volume.

When Liam got back to the kitchen, Carol was listening to Gary telling her about our trip to Australia. Liam said, “ umm..... sorry about the loud volume there. By the way, Jason, do you have any idea how Pink Floyd got that guitar sound on that track?”

“ Yeah, apparently, David Gilmour recorded the part in his home studio on his house boat in London and then flew to LA and went to an arena called Staples Corner. They played it back through their sound system and made another recording of it and thats what ended up on the album. If you want to do something similar then we could always use the MEN arena as we won't have time to fly to LA,” I replied.

“ How did you find that out anyway?” Liam asked me.

“ I read it on the Internet somewhere.”

By now Gary had served up the lunch and we all took our places at the table. Carol said, “ It sounds like you all had a great time in Australia.”

“ It was just fantastic,” Liam said enthusiastically. “ Last year when I was off for the summer I didn't even get to go on holiday, we just couldn't afford to. I would sometimes dream that one day I would earn enough money to take mum to Spain or Greece on holiday. I had a really great time in Australia. I never thought that I would get the chance to go somewhere like that.” Liam took another mouthful of food and then had a good gulp of his drink before continuing, “ the best part was going to Ayers rock, it was just so peaceful and tranquil at the top. I thought about mum and realized that she would be so proud of me. I still miss her but at the same time I know she would want me to just get on with my life and to be even more successful than I already am. I really owe everything to that day that I met Jason in town. He is quite the good Samaritan.”

“ He is,” said Carol, “ Gary told me about the boy you found in Darwin. Jason, please promise that you won't ever stop caring about people and helping others who are not as fortunate as you are.”

“ I won't. The only people I won't ever care about are the idiots that hurt me last year.”

Later that afternoon I was going through the mail that had arrived while I had been away. The first one was form the court informing me of the sentence that the guys who raped me had got. I couldn't believe what I was reading, “ Those fucking bastards nearly kill me and they are responsible for killing my mum and dad and all they get is four fucking years. What sort of fucking justice is that?” I screamed.

Mum came and sat next to me and asked what was wrong as she put her arm around me.

“ Read that bloody letter, then you'll know what's fucking wrong,” I said.

I was expecting to get told off for my outburst but once mum had read the letter she just said, “ I know you think it's unfair but this will have a big effect on the rest of their lives. They won't ever be able to get a decent job and will possibly end up getting mixed up in more crime and spend their lives in and out of prison. And didn't Mike tell you that his entire family have disowned his cousin?”

“ Yes mum, Mike did tell me that but this just seems so unfair. I'm the victim and I lost so much that day. I have to suffer for the rest of my life too. And mum, sorry about the language.” By now I had tears streaming down my face. Mum just held me until I calmed down.

We arrived at Nicks house at around 4.30pm. The way that Liam entered the house and gave Kim, Nicks mum a quick kiss on the cheek and then dashed off to find Nick, you would have thought that they hadn't seen each other for weeks instead of only a matter of hours. I went in next and after giving Kim a kiss on the cheek, she asked me, “ Is everything Ok Jason?”

“ Yes,” I snapped in reply.

Mum was quick to start on giving Kim an explanation of why I was in a mood. Of course dad wasn't too happy and I heard him call, “ JASON!”

I turned around and knew straight away that dad was pissed off with me. I walked up to dad and he said, “ Jason, I realize that that letter from the court has upset you but you can't take it out on everyone else. Now I think you should go and apologise to Kim.”

“ OK dad,” I said, “ It's just that I started to realize over the last few weeks that I also lost something else that day. Dad they took the last of my innocence, I just stopped being a kid and it really hurts.” By now I could feel the tears welling in my eyes.

“ How come you never said anything about this before?” Dad asked.

“ Like I said, I only noticed it over the last few weeks. When we went swimming, all the other guys, including Gary would splash about and jump in the pool seeing who could make the biggest splash, I just didn't want to do stuff like that. I just thought that it was childish and that I had gone beyond doing that kind of stuff. I wanted to but I just couldn't. That's when I started to realize that I had stopped being a kid.” I couldn't say any more for the moment because of the tears rolling down my cheeks.

Dad just held me and let me cry. When I stopped, he just said, “ I'm sorry.” There was that damned word again. It didn't make me feel any better but I just let it go and stayed calm. I slipped in to the downstairs bathroom and washed my face. Then I went and found Kim so that I could apologise. I found her in the kitchen talking with mum, Linda and Amanda. “ Erm... Kim,” I began.

“ It's ok Jason, you don't have to apologise, your mum told me about the letter and I'd be upset too in that situation. It's totally unfair but you can't do much about it,” Kim gave me a kiss on the cheek and handed me a can of coke before telling me to join the rest of the guys.

Nick and Liam had decided to take charge of the music and when the first song came on I soon snapped out of my mood. It was the song MONEY FOR NOTHING by Dire Straits. As soon as the guitar intro came in, Liam and I started playing air guitar along to the song. I was having fun by the time it ended. The next song that came on was one that I didn't recognise and so I said to Nick, “ who sings this?”

“ Her name is Bonnie Tyler and she's from Swansea. The song is called HOLDING OUT FOR A HERO.”

We listened to the song for a while and then Chris said, “ This is fucking awesome, especially the drums. I wanna get my drums sounding that fucking good on the new album.”

Now swearing in front of a five year old is not a good idea, end of story. The reason I say that is because the next thing we knew is that Craig is calling over to Linda, “ mummy, Chris said this is fucking awesome and that he wants his fucking drums to sound like this.” Of course we all found it really cute the way that Craig said it and so we all fell about laughing.

That is until we saw Linda and Amanda heading our way. Amanda gave Chris a slap across the face and said, “ CHRISTOPHER, I do not think you should use words like that in front of Craig. In fact you shouldn't use words like that at all.”

Chris said to his mum, very sheepishly, “ Sorry mum!”

We had stopped laughing by now but we soon started again when Linda slipped up and said, “ What the bloody hell is so funny about hearing a five year old swear anyway?” Linda quickly realized what she had just said and walked away in embarrassment.

The party was a great affair. Dean, dad, Geoff and Howard all manned the barbecue and cooked king prawns, sirloin steaks, sea bass, lamb chops and burgers. There was also a side table loaded with salads, dressings, sauces and baked potatoes.

We got home at around ten and headed for bed as we were all tired from the flight back from Australia. Monday we were up at nine despite not having to go the studio. The reason for this being that mum and dad where taking us to see the new house that they had bought. It was a nine bedroom mansion in the Cheshire countryside near a town called Knutsford. Each bedroom had its own bathroom and there was also a heated indoor swimming pool and a fully equipped recording studio complete with Steinway grand piano. The house had belonged to a hugely successful record producer who was selling because his family was all grown up and he had also recently divorced his wife. As a result he was selling the house to help pay the settlement. It was set in around eight acres of land.

We got there and it was a fantastic place. We spent time choosing which bedroom we would like and looking all round the place. I spent some time playing the piano. I also noticed that there was a block of twenty stables. I said to mum, “ I've only ridden a horse once but I may buy myself a horse seeing as there is somewhere to keep it.”

I soon started to have second thoughts when mum pointed out that I would have to groom it, feed it, clean out the stable and exercise it twice a day. Then there would be the question of who would look after it during the times I was away with the band. Nooooo, getting a horse would not be a good idea after all. However, having seen the house, I was looking forward to us moving here. The only other disadvantage was it would mean getting up an hour earlier for school. Oh well, you can't have everything.

We got back home and Gary said he would make us all some lunch. Liam dragged me off upstairs and said, “ any ideas on what to get Gary for his birthday?”

I had already thought about this and had my answer ready, “ seeing that he will be seventeen and legally old enough to drive, I thought that we could buy him a course of driving lessons and then, when he has passed his test, we could buy him a car.”

“ That's a fantastic idea,” Liam said.

We made our way back downstairs to eat lunch. Just as we sat down, Jamie and Greg came in. Jamie said, “ Hey, Phil does that offer of letting us have the house still stand? And I would like to accept your offer of help in setting up the web site design business.”

“ Yes on both counts,” was dads reply.

“ Excuse me,” I said, “ but am I missing something here?”

“ Oh, sorry, didn't I tell you?” Jamie said.

“ Tell me what?” I asked. Geez, was I supposed to be a mind reader now?

“ Jason, I dropped out of university,” came the unexpected reply.

“ You can't do that,” I said. “ Not after the way you talked me into going back to school.”

“ Well the thing is that I'm not really learning that much on the course and I have had a few companies asking me to build web sites for them. I talked to my dad and Phil about setting up my own business and they both said they would help out with the start up costs. Phil also said that Greg and I can live here when you move. The deal is that he won't ask us to pay rent but we have to take care of all the bills and he also said we can let a few friends move in.”

“ Well good luck with your business venture,” I said.

We sat and ate lunch and then I went to work on the alternative arrangement of BAD PART OF TOWN. It only took me a couple of hours and when I had finished I went and spoke to Liam. “ Did you call Sean about playing that violin part? And did Nick agree to do the cello part?”

“ Yes,” came the reply, “ I spoke to them both and they both agreed to do it.”

The rest of the day passed really quickly. It was 10am when we got to the studio on Tuesday morning. Steve and Chris were already there setting up there gear and positioning microphones. I helped Liam to set up his gear and position the mics. Then I went into the control room and got to work on getting the Keyboards set up. The thing about a recording studio is that it is divided into two rooms. You have what is known as the live room and in here you set up all the instruments that are recorded through microphones. Things like drums, guitars, bass and piano. The control room is where the mixing desk is located and you also set up all the synthesizers in this room too. The reason for this being that they are fed straight in to the mixing desk and recorded without the use of mics. By the time we had set everything up and checked the sound levels, it was time for lunch.

After lunch we started on the actual recording. The first song that we worked on was called CRIED TOO MANY TEARS! The way things worked in the studio was that you recorded the music first and then did the vocals. We didn't do things any differently. As I stood in the control room playing the keyboard parts, I sort of mentally listened to the words, part of them went;

I was just a kid

And look at what you did

I had so many fears

All down the years

Look at what you did to me

Because of you, I cried too many tears.

You never let me be

Just who I am

You just didn't give a damn

I cried too many tears!

Once we had done the first take, we all sat in the control room and Tyler played it back for us. Whilst we sat and listened, Tyler read over the lyrics. Once the music finished Tyler turned to me and said, “ this should be a really great song when it's finished. And these words are just beautiful.”

“ We plan on using it as the first single. I wanted to write something about what happened to me and how much it hurt me,” I said. “ I also want it to be a message of hope to other kids who are having problems in their lives.”

“ Well it seems like you are going to achieve that,” Tyler said.

Of course, having this conversation just reinforced the realization that my innocence had been taken from me. I really had stopped being a kid. I didn't get upset about it. It was just one more thing to deal with. One more thing that I would have to live with for the rest of my life.

It was the following Monday and I had just arrived at the studio when I got a phone call from Mike, “ Hi and how are things with you?” I asked.

“ Absolutely fantastic. The holiday was probably the best ever,” Mike said.

“ So any reason for the call other than to just chat?”

“ Well, yeah. You did say to call and come and hang out with you at the studio. I just need to know how to get there.”

“ Cool,” I said. I gave him the address and he said he would be there in about an hour.

I was in the live room when Mike showed up doing the vocals on CRIED TOO MANY TEARS! Once I had finished I went in to the control room and said hi to Mike.

Mike stood there just looking round and was totally mesmerised, “ this place is cool. I never knew you needed so much stuff to make a record.”

“ That's the thing too many people don't realize, the amount of stuff you need and the amount of work that goes into,” I said.

“ Look this is none of my business but I heard you own this place. Do you really make that much money out of the band?”

“ Well yeah, we do make a lot of money but the other thing is that my parents, when they died, left me enough to make me financially secure for the rest of my life,” I said. “ But don't go spreading that information around school, please. And, yes, I do own the studio.”

I introduced Mike to Tyler and then Liz, the chef that I employed to provide food for the people recording at the studio, as she walked in with a big tray of sandwiches. We all sat and chatted with Mike and let him hear what we had recorded so far. None of the tracks were finished by any means but Mike said he really liked it and couldn't wait to go and buy a copy once it was released. I just spent the rest of the afternoon chatting with Mike while the other guys recorded their vocal parts. I would do mine later.

We had been back from Australia for a couple of weeks and it got to the day of Garys birthday. When he woke up I was under the duvet sucking his cock. “ Mmmmmmmm...............nice birthday present,” he said. When he came in my mouth I held some back. I crawled up the bed and kissed him and shared the last of his juices with him. When I broke the kiss, I handed him his birthday card and the other envelope saying, “ the second envelope is your present from Liam and I.”

He opened his card and then the other envelope and was very surprised. “ Thanks,” he said, “ I was planning to start taking driving lessons, so this driving course is a great gift.”

“ I'm happy that you like it. Not wishing to spoil any surprises but we are going to buy you a car when you pass your test. The car will not only be from Liam and I but also from Chris and Steve, so don't get too mad when you don't get a present off them today.”

We spent the morning at the studio mixing some of the tracks so that they would be more or less finished. We had organized a surprise party for Gary this afternoon and so it was a job in itself keeping him from going into the restaurant/relaxation area of the studio. We finally got to take our lunch break at around 2pm and when we entered the restaurant Gary had a big surprise because all our friends from school were there to help him celebrate his birthday. As we walked in everyone said, “ HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY GARY!!!!!”

It was just over an hour later that even I got a surprise. I was talking to Sean and Carl when I felt a tap on my shoulder and heard someone say, in an Australian accent, “ G'day mate.”

I turned around and standing there was Adam. “ Hi and when did you get here? What are you doing here anyway?”

“ We landed a couple of hours ago. We are staying with Jim and Kathy. And why am I here? Your dad called last week and asked if it would be possible for me to come over for Garys birthday. I said it was and so he booked the tickets. We had to fly to Bangkok first and then change flights to EMIRATES to get here. That also meant another stop in Dubai. So I'm kind of fucked at the moment.”

I laughed at this last comment. Of course, Chris was stood behind us and said, “ so you got yourself a boyfriend then?”

“ Well, no,” said Adam, “ what I meant by fucked is that I'm tired after the flight. I only landed a few hours ago.”

“ So who did you bring with you?” I asked.

“ My mum,” came Adams reply. “ I asked if Phil would buy a ticket for her too. We still have a lot of stuff to talk about and I thought that being somewhere different may make it easier to talk. By the way, where is the birthday boy himself?”

Gary had reappeared by this point and said hi to Adam.

Adam gave him a kiss on the cheek and said, “ happy birthday Gary. Erm...... sorry I didn't get you a present but I really had no idea what to get you.”

“ Hey, it's Ok, the surprise of you just being here is a great present anyway,” Gary responded.

We then spent the next half an hour or so just introducing Adam to everyone. By the time we had finished, he asked, “ so just how many gay friends do you two have?”

“ Only the ones here,” Gary replied. After this I gave him a tour of the studio. I also played him a song that Steve had written called TECHNOLOGY. The lyrics sort of went;

We never talk

I forgot how to ride my bike

I no longer walk

Never take a hike

Since I found a new place

Where my friends aren't real

Now I live in cyberspace

If you don't see me on line

That's just fine

Then get out your phone

The robot dog don't need a bone

You know what to do next

Just send me a text

It's all part of this deal

Called technology

Adam said that he really liked the song and would go and buy the album as soon as it was released. Of course I said, “ better than that, we'll send you a signed copy. That should piss your friends off. He he he he he!”

“ Yeah, I look forward to it,”Adam said.

Adam spent nearly everyday of the next eleven days with us at the studio. It was the long August holiday weekend again and that meant the Mardi gras festival in the gay village. Jamie and Greg said they were definitely going to spend the whole weekend partying this year. Of course I also reminded then they had to take us to the parade on the Saturday afternoon, which they said they would. Adam would be coming too, along with Aaron and Callum, Mark and Lee, Kyle and Simon , Carl and Sean and last but not least, Liam and Nick. The parade was a great event and very colourful. There were floats representing practically all the bars and other businesses in the gay village. There were marching bands and clowns, even the British army had a float. I suppose it was a way of demonstrating a wider understanding and tolerance of diversity within society. We started off at a vantage point about halfway around the parade and once the last float had gone by we knew that there would be time to walk to the village and see them all the again as they reached the end of the parade. The village itself was a real spectacle. People were dressed in all manner of costumes and they all looked very colourful. Everyone was just here to have fun and be themselves. A few people did recognize me and asked for an autograph, which I was more than happy to supply. Oh the joys of being famous!!!!!!!!!!!!

We all finally made our way home. Adam and his mum would be flying back to Darwin the following Wednesday. Thankfully we had finished the album and were waiting to hear from the record company with the release date. The following Thursday would be our first night in the new house and I was looking forward to it. The Monday after that was back to school. We spent the last few days that we had with Adam just chilling out and having fun. All too soon it was Wednesday and we took Adam and his mum to the airport for their long flight home. It was a somewhat emotional farewell but Adam did mention that his foster parents helped out at the local gay and lesbian teen youth group. He also told us that there was one boy there who he really liked but hadn't approached because he was scared of being rejected.

“ You just have to take a risk and go for it. It could be that he is waiting for you to make the first move and visa versa. One of you has to make that move so, like I said, just go for it. And I hope it works out for you. Just remember to let me know,” I told Adam.

“ I guess you're right. I'll ask him at the next group meeting and I will let you know what happens,” Adam said.

By now it was time for them to make their way to the departure lounge and we said one last goodbye.

Thursday afternoon we were finally at the new house. It had been totally redecorated and mum and dad had bought all new furniture. The room that Gary and I had chosen was twice the size of our old one. It had been equipped with an even bigger wall mounted TV than the one we had before. We had our own satellite TV connection. We had a new hi – fi system and everything was connected to 5.1 surround sound system . It was just soooo coooool. The best was that we had our own bathroom. The bath was big enough to accommodate the two of us, we had a hand sink each and the shower cubicle was huge. The bedroom itself was also big enough for us to have a couple of sofas in there. Liams room was not that much smaller than ours and just as well equipped. He was really pleased with it, especially when he had to think back to his sleeping arrangements of a year ago. That night, being in our new room, in our new home, I had the best nights sleep that I had had in ages.

By the time I made it downstairs the next day it was well after midday. This wasn't down to the fact that we had slept late. Oh noooooo........but it had everything to do with the fact that we had run the bath and just soaked in it for over an hour and half. If the water go too cold we just added some more hot water. We also discovered that it was a whirlpool bath as well, so naturally we had to make use of that additional facility. As mum and dad now saw us as part of the landed gentry, they had employed a housekeeper and our own personal chef. I entered the dining room to find Chris and Steve tucking into lunch.

“ So you two are still alive then?” Chris asked.

“ There's no need for sarcasm,” Gary said.

Liam was right behind and said, “ so what brings you two here?”

“ We had to visit the queens new palace,” said Steve.

I knew he was only joking and didn't mean anything offence with that remark but I pretended to look pissed off and said, “ there is no need to be offence to us. If you carry on like that we'll ask you to leave and sack you from the band.”

“ You wouldn't do that, would you?” Asked Chris.

“ Who would you get to replace us anyway?” Asked Steve.

“ To answer Chris' question, I would and to answer Steves question, I know of two very talented and competent people in Hong Kong,” I said. I did burst out in hysterical laughter once I had said that, so they knew I was only joking. I finished by saying, “ no way could I sack you guys, you mean too much to me to treat you like that.”

“ The reason we are here is to talk about the new album. Your dad asked us over,” Steve said. Other than that he didn't know anything else and neither did Chris. By now we had been served with scrambled eggs and smoked salmon for our brunch. With it we drank orange juice and coffee. Once we had finished eating, we joined dad in the lounge. He handed each of us a six page document from the record company. In it were outlined a whole host of changes they wanted us to make to the album. Once we had read it Liam said, “ no way, they can't just destroy our work like this.”

The rest of us were in agreement over this. It was our album and if they didn't like it, then tough. “ Dad, what options do we have?” I asked.

“ Well I did speak to another record company who would be happy to buy your current contract from your current record company. They said that they would release the album as it is.”

It was Gary who asked, “ dad, do you have a copy of our contract near by?”

“ Yes. I'll just get it from the office,” was dads reply. Dad returned from the office with the contract and Gary spent nearly an hour going over it before he said, “ there's a bit here that says something about us having total artistic and creative control over our music. Surely if they want us to make these changes, then they are taking that away from us. Isn't that breach of contract or something?”

Dad took the contract off Gary and read the part that Gary had come across. “ You know, you have a really good point there son. I'll call the lawyers and check it out with them before I call the record company.”

With that we all decided to go and have a swim in the pool while dad made his calls.

As we were getting changed for our swim, Chris asked, “ so, Jason, what's the reason that you Gary were so late in getting up?”

“ Well, we had to try out our new double bath. It's not just a bath but also a whirlpool bath,” I said.

“ Sounds cool,” said Chris.

We finished getting changed and all dived in the pool and swam for a while, then the rest of the guys started dive bombing to see who could make the biggest splash. Once again, I didn't feel like doing this and so I went and sat in the jacuzzi. Steve finally called over and said, “ Hey, Jason, how come you aren't having any fun with us?”

“ I just don't wanna dive bomb any more. It's the sort of thing kids do.”

The next thing I know is that Steve and Chris have joined me in the jacuzzi. Chris said, “ OK, spill the beans. What do you mean by ' it's the sort of thing that kids do'? None of us are kids any more but it's still good to have some fun.”

“ When we where in Australia I started to realize that when I got raped I also lost something else. They took the last of my innocence and I just stopped being a kid. I know that we are all growing up and maturing into adults but for the rest of you it's a gradual process, you all still like doing the sort of stuff we did as kids and that includes Gary. For me, I just think that the day I was attacked I just become an adult, I'm not going to go through that transition like the rest of you,” I said.

My two friends just sat there not knowing what to say. I continued by saying, “ I don't know if I explained that too well. I'm not really sure how to explain it.”

Steve finally said, “ I think I get what you mean.”

We talked for a while and then got back in the pool and swam for a while longer. Chris and Steve stayed until around eight, after having dinner with us. Dad was still sorting out the problems with the record company and was awaiting a call from the managing director but didn't expect to hear anything else until Monday. Our lawyers had said that Gary was correct in what he said about the artistic and creative freedom and that if the record company persisted in wanting the changes then they would be in breach of contract. They were in a position were they couldn't win. Plus, if we did make all the changes, we would have to record another three songs and the cost of the studio time alone would be around a £100,000. “ Hit 'em were it really hurts” dad had said.

Saturday morning we had a trip to town to get my school uniform and get all the other stuff that I would need. On Saturday afternoon I did something that I hadn't done in over a year, I went for a very long bike ride around our new property. It was great to just enjoy the freedom that our new house offered. It gave me a chance to go off on my own without having one of our security guys following at a discreet distance. Gary had stayed in the house as Kyle and Simon had showed up. And Liam, well, he had Nick for an overnight stay and so I guessed that they would just hide away in his new room making love ( he he he he he he ).

It was on Saturday night when Gary and I where sat in our new room, cuddled together on one of the sofas that he said to me , “ Don't think that I didn't notice.”

“ Notice what?” I asked in complete amazement.

“ That one of your testicles is like three time larger than the other one. You have to tell mum and dad as you'll need to see a doctor about it.”

“ It's OK, honestly,” I said. “ It's not bothering me and will probably go away in a day or two, so just drop it.”

“ Uh...uh,” Gary said, “ it could be serious.” At that point he reached down and picked up some sheets of paper and handed then to me, It was stuff that he had got off the Internet. Some of it was about testicular cancer and the rest of it was about other possible causes of my ' problem '.

I read through it and said, “ OK. I'll talk to them tomorrow. We won't be able to see the doctor until Monday anyway.”

“ Ok, as long as you do talk to them,” Gary said, finally dropping the subject and turning his attention back to the movie we were watching.

Of course, I never did say anything to mum and dad. I was scared and didn't want to end up in hospital again. We had invited my grandparents for dinner. It was about half way through that I suddenly got a blinding headache that was also making me feel sick. It was weird as it just came out of nowhere.

I must have looked pale or something as grandma said, “ Jason, are you OK? You really don't look too well.”

“ I just suddenly got a headache and feel sick. Can I go and lie down for a while?”

Mum excused me from the table and I went to my room and lay down on the bed. Mum came up soon after with some pain killers and water for me to take. She also had the thermometer to take my temperature, which was normal. She also felt around my neck for anything unusual. She did find something and asked, “ Jason, how long has this lump been here?”

“ What lump?” I asked in return.

She took my hand and made me feel my left cheek, just near my ear and sure enough there was strange lump there. “ I don't know. I really hadn't noticed.”

“ I'm calling the doctor first thing tomorrow so we can get you checked out,” mum said.

It was then that I noticed Gary standing at the door, “ mum,” he said, “ there is something else that he should have told you!”

“ Jason talk. If you have some other problem that you need to see the doctor about then I need to know NOW.”

I realized that there was no point in arguing, “ It's one of my testicles, it's about three time larger than it should be,” I said.

We had private medical insurance and so all mum would have to do in the morning would be to call the private hospital that we used and I would get booked in for some tests to find out what is wrong with me. I didn't want to be going through this but I was, so I just had to face up to it. Sure enough, when I went to get breakfast the next morning mum had called the hospital and I had to be there by nine thirty. As I walked in to the dining room, I heard mum say to grandma, “ Kathy, would you be able to pick up some pyjamas and slippers for him?”

“ That won't be a problem Jane and I'll bring them to the hospital,”came the reply.

“ Why will I need some pyjamas and slippers, I never wear them at home and I'm only going to the hospital for some tests?” I asked, feeling totally bewildered.

“ You may need to be kept in for a few days, so we need to be prepared,” mum said.

We got to the hospital and after sitting there for what seemed like an eternity, I was called in to see the first doctor. He was the one that would be looking at the lump on my cheek. He used a needle to take a sample of fluid from it that would be sent to the lab for analyses and then asked me to lie on the bed in the consulting room so that he could do an ultra sound scan. He explained that it appeared to be a tumour and was almost certainly none cancerous but he would have to wait for the results from the lab to be sure. He also said that I would need an operation to remove it and this was scheduled for the next morning. I then saw a second doctor about the other problem and was relieved to hear that it was just an infection that could be treated with antibiotics. I wasn't getting off that lightly tho'. They decided that as I was to undergo surgery tomorrow that they would open me up and take a look. After this we went and sat back in the waiting area until they had my hospital room ready.

Grandma had by now arrived and asked, “ so what's the verdict?”

“ They are going to operate tomorrow to remove the lump from my cheek and they are also going to take a look the other problem. Although they did say it was just an infection,” I told my grandma.

By now the nurse had showed up to take me to my room. When I got there, I went into the bathroom and got changed into my pyjamas and got into bed. The nurse came back and checked my temperature and blood pressure and handed me the menu and asked what I would like to have for lunch. I chose what I wanted and then waited for it to arrive. After eating, the first doctor that I had seen came in and said that the results from the lab confirmed that it was a benign tumour. He did say that I would probably have to eat soft food for a few days as it may be difficult or painful to chew. Mum and grandma stayed until late afternoon but mum did promise to be back later with dad , Gary and Liam.

It was around six when the ' family ' arrived and I was just finishing my dinner. Seeing as I would find it painful to chew food after the surgery, I had opted for the fillet steak ( you get those little luxuries in a private hospital ). “ Hi everyone,” I said as they walked in

“ All the guys asked me to say hello and they hope you come back soon,” Liam said.

“ So you got to explain to them that I was in here?” I asked.

“ Yeah, just about, everyone was more interested in Australia. Even tho' we had seen all our real close friends over the summer,” Liam said. He finished by saying, “ Jane told me what's wrong with you and I'm glad that it's nothing serious. I'd hate to lose you too.”

“ I'm not going anywhere for along time. Well, on tour with you and the rest of the band,” I said, giving him a huge smile.

“ Chris and Steve called to see how you are. They said they were going to come and see you tomorrow but I said that you may not be up to it because of the anaesthetic,” Gary said.

“ I suppose they could come to our place for the weekend. They both wanna try out the whirlpool baths,” I said with a little laugh.

“ Haven't you forgotten that we are supposed to be going to Monaco this weekend for the MTV Europe awards?” Dad said.

“ I'd completely forgotten about that. Will I still be able to go?” I asked.

“ Sorry,” mum said, “ but I asked the doctors about it and they said you wouldn't be well enough to fly.”

“ The rest of us are still going and we decided that we'll let you keep all the awards,” Liam said.

“ At the moment we've only been nominated for best album, best new act, best single and best live performance video. It's no guarantee that we are going to win any of them,” I said.

“ Of course we will,” Gary said confidently.

When visiting hours were almost over, mum, dad and Liam left to give Gary and I a few minutes alone. Gary said it was going to be strange not sleeping with me. At least if I had difficulty sleeping, I could get something off the nurse. Oh well, such is life. Before he left Gary gave me a kiss and asked, “ are you scared?”

“ Not really. After all the shit I've been through in life I don't think that there is much that would scare me,” I said. Gary left not longer after this.

Tuesday was almost none existent. I was woken at eight, told to take a shower and put on the theatre gown. I wasn't allowed any breakfast and after my shower, I was given some medication to help me relax. It practically knocked me out as I wasn't aware of much until they came to take me to the operating theatre. And then I wasn't aware of too much until I woke up back in my room to find mum sitting by my bed.

“ How do you feel?” She asked once I had got my eyes open.

“ A little sleepy and hungry,” I said.

“ The doctor should be here soon to check on you. We'll see about some food then.”

“ Ok, mum,” I said and then added, “ I love you!” When the doctor came to examine me, mum said she was going to go and get a coffee. The doctor said everything had gone just fine during the operation and that I should be able to go home tomorrow. He also said, “ one of the younger nurses tells me that you're famous. Something about a rock band?”

“ Yeah, that's true. We've only sold about eight million copies of the first album so far. We hope to do better with the second one. Anyway, I'm sorta hungry as I couldn't have any breakfast and I missed lunch. Would it be Ok to get something to eat?” I asked the doctor.

“ Yeah, they had some nice chicken soup at lunch time, I could get a bowl of that for you if you like.”

“ That sounds good.”

Mum returned at the same time that my soup arrived. She just sat and watched as I ate. When I had finished mum said, “ You're not too upset about not going to the awards thing are you?”

“ Not really, just that I won't get the chance to go for the best new act award again, not unless I start another band,” I did laugh a little at that comment but gave up when I found out that it hurt to laugh because of the stitches. Mum and I talked for a while and then she said she had to go as her and dad had said they would take Liam and Gary ten pin bowling. Mum did say that Jamie and Greg would be coming to see me later. They arrived at about six along with my dinner of wild mushroom risotto and chocolate ice cream.

“ So how's my little bro?” Jamie asked. “ And why have they got that tube coming out of the side of your face?”

“ Probably using it to slowly remove his brains,” said Greg.

“ Oh, you're so funny,” I said. “ Sorry that I'm not laughing but it hurts when I do.”

“ Hey, it's Ok,” said Greg.

“ Why are you eating vegetarian food?”Jamie asked.

“ The doctor suggested that I eat soft food that I don't have to chew too much for a few days. And I feel Ok. Just waiting for the anaesthetic to wear off properly,” I said in response to Jamies questions.

We sat and watched The Simpsons while I ate my dinner.

“ Jane said you may be home tomorrow?” Jamie said.

“ Yeah, I should be if everything is ok. It's a bit strange not having Gary next to me in bed.”

“ Looks like Gary won't get to suck your cock for a few weeks,” Greg said.

“ Will you quit trying to make me laugh, I already told you that it hurts when I do. And he'll be in for a real treat when he can suck it again. I'll probably cum like a heard of elephants.”

“ Sorry Jason, I won't do it again,” Greg said.

“ So did you bring me any grapes or anything?” I asked.

“ Well we did get some for you when we went to the supermarket but we ate them,” Jamie said and started to laugh. I'm sure they were just doing this on purpose, trying to make laugh so I would feel some discomfort. Of course they didn't know the full strength of my powers of resistance.

I had a great visit with my older bro' and his boyfriend. They had brought my laptop for me so once they left I took advantage of the wireless Internet connection that the hospital had and spent some time surfing.

I hadn't been in touch with Christian for a while and so I e- mailed him to let him know what was going on in my life. Josh was on line and so we chatted for a while.

JOSH92!! Hi Jason how is life with you?

MOZARTY2K6!! I'm in the hospital. I had to have some surgery today.

JOSH92!! Holy cow! Are you Ok? Nothing too serious I hope?

MOZARTY2K6!! They found a small tumour in my left cheek ( the one on my face by the way ) and so I had that removed. It was benign so it wasn't too serious. I also had a swollen testicle. It was just some kind of infection that they could have treated with antibiotics but as I was going to the operating theatre, they decided to remove it surgically. I still have to take some antibiotics tho'.

JOSH92!! As long as you are OK.

MOZARTY2K6!! I should be back at school in two weeks. I should have gone back yesterday but all this came up and so I get two more weeks off. Then again, school would be better than being in the hospital.

JOSH92!! I'm sure it would. How is the new album going?

MOZARTY2K6!! We finished it a couple of weeks ago. Check the web site for the release date.

JOSH92!! I'll do that. So how's that fancy new house you moved to?

MOZARTY2K6!! It's cool. I got to go for a bike ride at the weekend. I haven't been able to do that for ages. It was fun. I have to go now as the nurse will be here to give my meds shortly.

JOSH92!! Well you look after yourself and we'll talk some more very soon.

MOZARTY2K6!! Catch you later.

Just as I logged off the nurse came in with my meds. I took them and then she asked if I would like some hot chocolate. I accepted. Wednesday morning after breakfast the doctor came to check me over. It was bad news, “ we're going have to keep you in for at least a few more hours due to your high temperature. We'll check it again this afternoon and see how things are but you may be here another night.”

Mum and granddad arrived at this point. At least granddad had brought me some grapes and didn't make any attempt to eat them for me. They left just after my lunch arrived. When they took my temperature again it was still up and so I called Chris' mobile and left a message to say that I would still be in the hospital if they wanted to come and visit. They arrived at about 5.30pm along with Linda, Howard and Craig. Craig climbed on the bed and parked himself right on my you know what's. “ Aggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh.................!!!!” I screamed.

Steve jumped up and lifted his little brother off me. “ What did I do?” Craig asked in all innocence.

“ I think you just hurt uncle Jason,” Steve said

“ I'm sorry,” Craig said.

“ Hey, it's ok, you didn't know,”

“ So how long they keeping you in for?” Asked Chris.

“ Well if my temperature is back to normal, I can go home tomorrow. That's the only reason that I'm still in here,” I said.

We just sat and talked until my dinner arrived. Chris and Steve were telling me about a couple of cute new boys who had started at school. I made some comment about not being interested as I was already spoken for. I also accused them of being closet cases, which they took in good spirits. My friends had brought me a basket of fruit and it was while I was eating my dinner that I heard Steve say, “ would you like some grapes Craig ?”

“ Yes please,” came the reply.

I glanced round and there was Steve, Chris and Craig eating my grapes. “ What is it with people bringing me grapes and then eating them?”

“ It's in the hospital visiting hand book. It's what you're supposed to do,” Chris said. He then started to laugh

“ Please don't make me laugh,” I said, “ It hurts when I do.”

The only one not taking part in the conversation was Howard. He was sat with my laptop on his knee and my headphones on. I had mentioned that I was working on some Jean Michel Jarre style music and he asked if he could have a listen. When it had finished he said, “ that was great, you should try and get that released, I'd buy a copy.”

“ I'll have a think about doing that,” I said.

Soon it was time for everyone to go and I wished Steve and Chris good luck at the awards thing. “ And make sure we win all four that we got nominated for,” I said.

I was finally allowed to go home on Thursday morning. Although it would be another week or so before I got to go back to school.

End of chapter 25!!!!!!!!

Lol Paul