This is a story about gay love, so if reading such things is offensive to you or if it is not legal for you to do so, proceed at your own risk. This is fiction. All people, places and events are the product of the writer's own imagination. All rights are retained by the author.
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Sam, chapter 11
One of the doctors had come in on his rounds while Jay and Uncle Robert were eating breakfast and checked Jay over a bit, saying he was extremely pleased with his progress. He suggested that he start spending more time up out of bed since he was feeling so much better. He told him he needed to start moving around a bit, and it would help him get his strength back again.
Jay had said that he couldn't very well walk around with his eyes shut like they were, and the doctor told him he could save his walks in the halls for whenever someone was there to walk with him, but that it wouldn't hurt for him to spend as much time as possible sitting up at least. There was an armchair located in the corner of the room by the window, and as soon as Jay had finished up the last of his breakfast, he started to get out of bed so Uncle Robert could lead him over to the chair. He really had no idea what he looked like since the beating, of course, and neither had it dawned on him how skimpy his little hospital gown was. It had a low neck and very loose, short sleeves and the bottom of it reached only to about mid-thigh. The worst part, though, was that it mostly just gaped open in back, leaving his butt fully exposed when he got up.
Robert started laughing and Jay, startled, said, "Wha... what's so funny?"
"I hope you're not planning to walk around the halls dressed like that, punkin!" he laughed. "You'll have half of the hospital ogling your cute little butt. Of course some of them wouldn't mind that at all. It'd give them a real thrill, no doubt! You've sure got you a nice one, kiddo, you know that? But I would imagine you want to save it for -- what was his name? Lee? And not share it with just everybody!"
Jay blushed bright red, and reached back with his hand to investigate. Sure enough, there was his butt sticking out for the whole world to see, and no way to keep it covered!
"Oh my God, Uncle Robert, I'll have to stay in bed then!"
"Don't worry, Jay! I'll run and ask Nurse Hellvig for a robe or something."
A minute later he came back with not only a robe but also a pair of sweatpants and some slippers. He handed them to Jay, saying, "The nurse said you could use either one or both, just as you wish, punkin, and to put these slippers on when you're not in bed."
"Oh, good! I think if I'm gonna be up I'd like to have some pants on," Jay said, and he stood up from where he had been sitting on the edge of the bed. He bent over with his back to his uncle to pull on the sweatpants, unwittingly presenting him with a perfect view of his round little butt and the backs of his smooth, slim, but surprisingly muscular legs, with his still-hairless scrotum and modest-sized penis quite visible in the vee between his legs. What Robert's eyes focused on, however, were the big, ugly, purple bruises on his buttock and thigh. Looking at them, his eyes filled with tears and a surge of emotion coursed through him, causing his breath to catch in his throat.
Jay couldn't see him, of course, but he must have sensed something, because he asked, "What's the matter, Uncle Robert?"
"Nothing, punkin," he said. Jay was just pulling the sweatpants up to his waist then and straightening up, and Robert gently put his arms around him from behind, pulling him back against himself in a tender embrace, nuzzling his face in Jay's sweet-smelling hair.
"I love you so much, Jay. You're my boy now, you know that?" And then the tears that he'd been battling to keep back just burst free and started gushing down onto the top of Jay's head.
"I can't really find it in me to cry for your dad, Jay. Sorry about that. But I'm crying because my heart is about to burst with love for you right at this minute, and thinking how tough it must've been for you all these years, having a dad who hated you. I'll never understand how he couldn't see what a wonderful, sweet kid you are, Jay. But it's useless to think about that now, isn't it? He's gone. And he'll never hurt you again. I just hope I can somehow start making up for what you've been missing, you know? You and Jenna. I know I'm not your dad, but if I had kids I would wish they were the two of you, and I'd count myself the luckiest man alive."
As he talked, Robert was gently rocking Jay back and forth in his arms, holding Jay's hands in his own against Jay's chest. Jay just let go and sank back against his uncle's big, firm, strong, muscular body. He had never felt more secure in his entire life than he did at that moment, enfolded in that loving embrace, listening to that soothing voice, and feeling those hot, wet tears flowing down into his hair.
Robert soon had to leave after that, because he had promised to help Irene run some errands. She had a dozen things to do all of a sudden, because of her husband's death -- so much to arrange and take care of. True, it was Sunday, so a lot of it would have to wait until the next day or two, but not all of it by any means. The first thing Robert was going to do, though, was to rent a car so he could get around town, and also drive Irene around as she needed. The Evans' car was still being held by the police, and Irene had no idea when it might be released. She didn't have a driver's license, but Robert could have used the car, had it been available. He promised Jay he would bring his mom and Jenna up to see him in the afternoon, but said they wouldn't make it before then.
Jay was sitting in the armchair by then, and Robert said to him, "You're gonna feel awfully bored, aren't you? Since you can't see to read or anything. You can't even see the television, although that can be plenty boring too, unless there's some good movie on, or something, can't it?"
"Don't worry, Uncle Robert, I'll be all right. Lee told me last night he'd come up right after church. And I'm sure Sam will come sometime today too."
"I can hardly wait to meet them, Jay. But there'll be time enough for that, I guess. I gotta run now, though." He reached down, ruffled his hair affectionately, kissed him on the forehead a couple times, and whispered, "I love you so much, Jay. It makes me so proud to have a nephew like you." Then he turned and left the room, leaving Jay with a flood of happy emotions washing over him. The initial shock of hearing about his dad's death was already receding, and the happiness Uncle Robert's presence had given him surpassed everything else.
The evening before when Lee was getting ready to go home, Jay had asked him when he would be back the next day.
"My mom and I always go to Mass on Sunday morning, sweetheart. The McMillans do too, and we often go together. We usually get home about ten thirty or so. I'll come right after that, OK? If I take the bus I should get here by eleven."
"OK," Jay had said.
"Um, Jay," Lee had said then.
"Yeah?"
"Do you go to church?"
"No."
"Never?"
"Well, hardly ever. My dad says religion is `hogwash' and we've never belonged to any church. I went with my grandparents -- my mother's parents -- one time, but that was several years ago. It was some kind of weird church where no one was sitting still and everyone was making so much noise. It kinda scared me and I didn't like it. My mom said she had to go there when she was a girl and she didn't like it either."
"Maybe you can go with me sometime," Lee had suggested then.
"Um hmm," Jay had murmured sleepily.
Now, on Sunday morning, sitting there alone in his hospital room with nothing to do but think, Jay was recalling that conversation, and thinking about his beloved Lee, probably at that very minute attending Mass somewhere along with his mother and Sam and her parents. He wondered what it might be like and was wishing he could be there with them right then.
Jay had always believed in God and he often prayed silently, in his thoughts. He found it comforted him and helped him in ways he couldn't explain. It was a very private thing, and he had never talked about it to anyone else. He didn't think he was a heathen even if he never went to church, but somehow the thought of going to church with Lee and the others appealed to him very strongly.
After awhile, sitting there in the armchair in his own blind and dark little world, he fell asleep, and that's how Lee found him when he came into the room later. His head was slumped forward and his mouth was open. A little string of drool was running from the corner of his mouth down onto the front of his gown. He looked so precious and so vulnerable that Lee's heart did a flip-flop in his chest as he stood gazing down on him. The garish yellows and purples of Jay's hideous, angry looking bruises almost made Lee's stomach lurch, and brought a rush of stinging tears to his eyes.
Lee didn't know how long he had stood there watching Jay snooze -- maybe five minutes or more -- when Nurse Hellvig came into the room to check on Jay.
"Jay's a lot better today, Lee," she said, laying a hand on his shoulder. "His fever broke during the night and his temperature is back to normal now, so he's doing great!"
"Mmm, that's good news, Nurse Hellvig," Lee replied.
"Isn't he sweet, honey?" the nurse said, giving Lee's shoulder a squeeze. "But I must say, I can hardly bear to look at those horrible bruises. It about breaks your heart, doesn't it?"
Lee just nodded, as his tears started to spill over and run down his cheeks.
"I didn't expect to find him sleeping, really. He was very much awake awhile ago. But I suppose the monotony of sitting here alone and not being able to see anything got the best of him. I'd think it would be OK for you to wake him up, honey. Now, I've got to run along. We're a bit short-staffed today, it being Sunday and all. I'll see you two later!" And then she was gone.
Lee, emboldened by what Nurse Hellvig had said, laid his hand on Jay's shoulder and shook him gently, calling his name.
"Wha... what is it?" Jay said, sounding a bit startled.
"It's just me, sweetheart," Lee answered, and then added, laughing, "You looked awful sweet sleeping like that, you know? Drooling all over the front of yourself! But it's lots nicer to talk to you."
"Was I really drooling?" Jay asked, blushing a little. Then he reached out his arms toward his lover, saying, "I can't see you, but I wanna feel you."
Lee took Jays hands into his own and pulled him up out of the chair, drawing him into a hug. They stood there in each other's arms, their mouths joined in a long, hungry kiss, the front of their bodies pressed tightly together. Lee could feel Jay's bare skin where his gown was open in back, and he slipped his hands inside the gown, letting them roam sensuously back and forth and up and down over his back. Finally, he slid them down to the waist band of his sweatpants and then further, down inside the pants. He cupped Jay's bare butt cheeks in his hands. This was the first time he had manually explored Jay's luscious bubble butt, and he was thrilled with the feel of it in his hands. The skin there was so exquisitely soft, the flesh underneath so firm and yet so spongy feeling at the same time. He squeezed his cheeks and caressed them tenderly while Jay moaned in pleasure and started flexing his butt a bit against Lee's groping hands. Suddenly he winced in pain and sucked in his breath when Lee squeezed his bruised buttock a little too hard.
"What's the matter, darling?" Lee asked, alarmed.
"It hurts, Lee. I'm sorry,"
"What hurts, Jay?"
"My butt."
Jay didn't really know about the bruises on his butt and leg -- no one had mentioned them to him before.
"Let me look, Jay," Lee said, and before Jay could respond, Lee squatted down behind him and drew his sweats down a ways, exposing his butt. It was his turn to suck in his breath at the sight of that big, ugly bruise.
"Oh, Jay, darling," he said, "I had no idea. I'm so sorry I hurt you, sweetheart."
"You didn't hurt me, Lee, don't be silly. But why is it sore like that? Can you see anything?"
"You've got a monster bruise there, babe."
"Oh." Jay said, quietly.
He tugged on Lee to stand up again and then threw his arms around him, burying his face against his broad chest. They made quite a sight, standing there holding each other like that in the middle of the room with Jay's sweatpants still at half-mast, down around his knees! But they were oblivious, and fortunately no one happened to come into the room. The eroticism of their previous hugging and groping was gone, but the tenderness remained and intensified. They stood like that for a long time, reveling in their love for each other and in the comfort they derived from each other's embrace, unaware of anything else.
Finally, Jay broke the mood, saying, "Lee..."
"Yes, sweetheart?"
"My dad is dead."
"What?" Lee blurted out.
"I just found out this morning."
"Oh my God!" Lee said.
"I feel so weird, Lee. I know I should be sorry, but I'm not." And then Jay started to cry.
"Jay, honey, you don't have to feel guilty. He was a beast."
Lee then pulled Jay tighter against him and rocked him back and forth in his arms, rubbing his back slowly. Once his hand strayed a little lower and he encountered a bare butt cheek, causing him to laugh.
"Hey Jay, we forgot to pull your pants up again!"
"Oh my God!" Jay said, and quickly reached down to pull up his sweats.
"Jenna told us yesterday that your dad was in the hospital, Jay. She said he'd been mugged or something. But I sure didn't expect him to die."
"It's sorta like a dream, you know? I'm sure I'll expect to see him when I go home again. It'll be weird that he's not there any more, even if he was, well..."
"He was a beast, Jay. Pardon me for saying it, but he was. I'm glad he can't hurt you any more."
"Lee," Jay said, changing the subject, "the doctor said this morning that I need to start walking around now, to get my strength back. Let's go walk in the corridor for awhile, OK? I'll need you to be my eyes."
"Sure thing, sweetheart!" Lee said, giving Jay a big smooch and a pat on his once again sweats-clad butt.
The robe Nurse Hellvig had given Robert was lying draped over the end of Jay's bed and Lee said, "Maybe you'd like to put this robe on too?"
"Let me see what it feels like," Jay said, and Lee helped him slip it on.
It was very light-weight and not overly long, and Jay said, "Yeah, that feels good."
Lee tied the sash at his waist and they were ready to go. Suddenly he said, "I know! Let's go down to the cafeteria where I had lunch yesterday! I'll get us some coke and a sandwich or something, OK?"
"Sounds good to me!" Jay replied, and they headed out. Lee led him by the arm toward the nurses' station and the elevators.
"Um, Lee...?" Jay started to say, and then hesitated.
"Yeah?"
"Er, do you think we could hold hands?"
"Sure! Why not?"
Lee then let go of his upper arm and grabbed his hand instead.
"That feels better!" Jay said.
"You're right, sweetheart, it does!"
"I want people to know you're my boyfriend," Jay said, and then added, "I didn't think I'd ever be so happy in my whole life." A couple tears trickled down his cheeks then, but there was a big smile on his face, and Lee had to swallow hard a couple times to keep from bursting into tears himself.
There was only one nurse at the nurses' station, sitting at a desk writing up reports. Lee didn't know her, and of course Jay couldn't see her. She glanced up and gazed after the two boys as they walked past, hand in hand. Her eyes narrowed into mean looking slits and she pursed her lips tightly, disapprovingly, but said nothing.
The cafeteria was empty when the boys got there, since it was still too early for the usual crowd of lunch guests. Lee led Jay over to a table in the corner where they would be undisturbed, and helped him get seated. Then he went and picked up a tray and picked out a couple cellophane-wrapped club sandwiches. He scooped up some crushed ice into two large-sized glasses, filled them with coke from the soft drinks machine, and then made his way over to the cashier and paid.
As soon as he had set the tray down on the table and sat across from Jay, Jay asked, "How was church this morning, Lee? I was thinking about you and wishing I was there too."
"Really, sweetheart? That would be so neat! Maybe next time," Lee said.
"Um, what's it like?"
"It would be too hard to describe, I'm afraid. You'll have to see for yourself. But I love it. It's so solemn. The church is really beautiful, and the music gives me goose bumps sometimes. I like it best when Farther Jerry officiates, like today. There's about four priests, you see, and they sorta take turns. Some of `em are really stiff and stodgy, but Father Jerry is so nice. He's about forty, I suppose, but he doesn't seem old, and he's really nice to us young people. He knows our names, and speaks to us and shows a real interest in us. He came here about five years ago from New York City. That's where he's really from too. And guess what? He's black! Well, not really black, but you know... He's more like a light brown color. And you know what? I heard he belonged to a really tough gang when he was growin' up in New York, and he almost got killed one time. Boy, am I glad he didn't! He's like the best priest there is!"
"I'm going with you next time, Lee!" Jay said, caught up in the enthusiasm Lee displayed for his church and his favorite priest.
"I'm so glad, sweetheart!" Lee said, catching Jay's hand in his own and holding it on the table between them. "I know you'll like it. And it'll be so neat to go together."
They got busy eating their sandwiches then, and sipping on their ice-cold cokes.
At length, Lee said, "Jay, Sam and I were talking last night."
"Yeah?"
"Tomorrow's school again, you know. And you won't be there, sorry to say. Sorry for me, that is."
"For me too, Lee."
"Sam and I are gonna go talk to the principal first thing."
"With Mrs. Jessup?" Jay asked, sounding incredulous.
"She's not really an ogre, sweetheart!" Lee laughed.
"You sure?" Jay asked, and gave a somewhat exaggerated shudder.
Mrs. Jessup was a large, imposing looking woman -- tall, broad-shouldered, big-busted, and stern-faced, with piercing gray eyes and short, straight, steel-gray hair. She looked more like a marine drill sergeant than a high school principal. Her voice was unusually deep and gruff for a woman, and she rarely seemed to smile. Most of the kids in school were in awe of her and tried to stay out of her way. That is, until they had reason to meet her first-hand. After that, they generally had a much altered opinion. Unless they were in serious trouble for some reason, they all learned, without exception, that her frightening appearance was quite deceptive. Behind that stern exterior beat a gentle, compassionate heart. She was unswervingly fair, very reasonable, and an exceptionally attentive listener. Jay, of course, was new to the school and had only seen her from a safe distance. For that reason, he held the same mistaken impression universally shared by any of the other students who hadn't had personal dealings with her.
"What are you gonna talk to her for, Lee?"
"We want her on our side, sweetheart!" Lee answered. "Actually, we want to tell her about you being in the hospital so we can get a note from her to give to all your teachers. That way we can get your lessons and bring them to you here after school each day."
"But I can't see to do any lessons. How will...?"
"You won't be blind forever, lover boy! But don't worry, Sam and I can read them for you and help you with them."
They chewed a few more bites and took a few more sips and Jay said, "You know, I think I can open one eye just a slit, Lee. I can see a bit of light with it now."
"Great!"
"Um, Lee..."
"Yeah, lover?"
"Does my face look awful bad?"
"Don't worry, babe, you have the cutest, sweetest face in the world."
Jay blushed, and protested. "Lee! You know what I meant."
Growing serious, Lee said, "To tell you the truth, babe, your face makes me want to cry every time I look at it. Those bruises are really nasty, and the colors are gonna take a long time to fade away, I'm afraid.
The tears started to trickle down Jay's cheeks again, and Lee took his hand and squeezed it in his own.
"Jay, honey, those bruises are gonna be a reminder to everyone for a long time of what your dad did to you. He sure messed up your face, but it'll heal."
"How will I be able to go anywhere?"
"Don't worry, sweetheart, I'm gonna stick by you like your own shadow. And Sam too. We won't let anyone give you any grief."
They finished up their lunch and rose to leave. It was a quarter to twelve by then, and Jay said, "I've forgotten all about lunch up in my room. They'll probably be bringing it before long and I won't be hungry now!"
"When nobody's looking you can sneak some of it to me, babe!" Lee said. "We'll take care of it together. OK? Just so you know, that's gonna be the operative word from now on, lover boy -- `together'."
Jay threw his arms around his lover, and tried to kiss him on the face. He couldn't see where to direct the kiss, of course, and it landed on his ear.
Lee giggled, "Jeez, man, that tickled!" But then he gave Jay a proper one back, right on the lips, and hand in hand once again, they sauntered out of the cafeteria, oblivious of the various lunch guests who had come into the cafeteria by then, and who had watched the whole display and then followed them with their eyes as they left. Some of their faces showed amusement, some approval, some disgust.