This is a story about gay love, so if reading such things is offensive to you or if it is not legal for you to do so, proceed at your own risk. This is fiction. All people, places and events are the product of the writer's own imagination. All rights are retained by the author.
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Sam, chapter 9
Having been told by Officers Ellis and Douglas that a man believed to be her husband Gene was lying unconscious in Our Lady of Mercy Hospital on the far side of the city and that they needed her to go and identify him, Irene began making plans to go. The policemen offered to drive her there, but Mack and Sharon immediately said they would take her. They wanted to be with her to give her moral support, for which she was very grateful, and she accepted their offer instead. Officer Ellis told her that some other police officers would meet her upon arrival at the hospital and escort her to the room where her husband was. So a time was agreed upon -- eleven thirty - and thanking Irene for the coffee, Officers Ellis and Douglas left, promising to be in touch again soon.
"I want to stop by the Good Samaritan on our way and look in on Jay again," Irene said, "so perhaps we should leave right away. Just let me freshen up a bit first."
"Absolutely," Mack agreed.
"And maybe it would be better if Jenna stayed with Marjorie and Lee and Sam," Irene added. "Would you like that, honey?"
"Oh, good!" Jenna exclaimed. "Will they be at the hospital seeing Jay when we get there?"
"I expect so. Don't you think so, Mack and Sharon?"
"Yes, when I phoned them earlier they said they would leave Marge's at ten thirty," Sharon said.
Ten minutes later they were again at the hospital. Nurse Hellvig saw them as they went past the nurses' station and called out for them to stop for a minute and she came to where they were standing.
"The x-rays confirmed Dr. Everidge's diagnosis. Jay does have pneumonia, I'm sorry to say. We're giving him antibiotics, like the doctor already told you, and now all we can do is wait and hope he can fight it off quickly. We're giving him the very best of care. He is such a precious boy! I can just feel that, even though I don't actually know him yet. I want to assure you that you are always welcome here, any and all of you. It would be best if not too many came at a time, generally, but please don't hesitate to come and see Jay. That sweetheart is going to need you a lot when he finally wakes up, and he can tell you himself if he wants to be left alone sometimes." There were tears in her warm, kindly eyes when she spoke to them. Irene gave her a big hug and they all thanked her for her generosity.
"He reminds me so much of my own grandson, honey," the nurse explained. "It nearly breaks my heart every time I look at his sweet and battered face. I must say, not all of the nurses, or doctors either, agree with my liberal visitors policy, but I'm the supervisor on this floor and they don't dare cross me. If anyone gives you any flak, don't hesitate to come to me. I mean to enforce what I've promised you." Having said that, she turned back to her charts and told them to give Jay a kiss from her too.
Jay was back in his bed and still asleep when they got to his room, and none of them had the heart to disturb his rest. Irene laid her hand on his forehead again and found it was still very warm, though perhaps a bit less so than earlier. His breathing was regular enough, but there was a slight rattling sound in his chest, and his pulse was still quite elevated. Irene kissed him on the forehead once, and then again, whispering, "That one's from your nurse, sweetheart." And then she just stood there holding his hand and gazing down on him as he slept.
The others wanted to touch him too, and one by one they laid their hand on his forehead and smoothed his hair and whispered in his ear that they loved him and were praying for him to soon be well. Jenna then laid her head down on his chest and held her hand against the uninjured side of his face, her tears running down onto the sheet that covered him. Before long she realized she was getting his sheet wet and she rose up, embarrassed, and apologized to the others for doing so.
"It's all right, darling," Sharon assured her. "I'm sure your tears won't hurt him. After all, love is the best medicine there is."
"Jenna, honey, we're going to have to hurry in order to get to the other hospital by eleven thirty," Irene said. "I hope you don't mind if we leave you here with Jay. I'm afraid we can't wait any longer, but Marjorie, Sam and Lee should be here soon. You'll be all right, won't you?"
"Yes, Mom, I'll be fine," Jenna replied. Irene gave her a hug and a kiss then, and Sharon did too. Then the three adults left the room and headed for the parking lot to leave.
About ten minutes later Marjorie, Sam and Lee walked into Jay's room and found Jenna standing by his bed, running her hand through his damp hair again and again, and talking softly to him, tears trickling down her cheeks.
Lee thought he had prepared himself for the worst and had steeled himself as much as he could, but the sight of his beloved Jay's face was almost like a blow to the solar plexus, taking his breath away and leaving him feeling week and faint. He grabbed onto his mother's arm for support, thinking he was going to keel over, but luckily the feeling soon passed and a surge of strength poured into him from somewhere and he stepped over to the bed beside Jenna. He put an arm around her shoulders and laid his other hand on top of Jay's which was lying on his chest. Surprisingly, he didn't shed any tears at that moment. He had already wept buckets of them in the hours since he first heard about Jay being hurt, but now there were none, even though his heart ached for his sweet lover. He stood like that for several minutes, silently. They all were quiet. No one said anything.
"Where's your mom, Jenna? And my mom and dad?" Sam suddenly asked. "I thought they would be here too."
"They just left," Jenna explained. "Let's go sit in those easy chairs out in the hall for a little while and I'll tell you what's happened."
Fortunately Mack knew the city well and he knew the quickest route to the part of the city where Our Lady of Mercy Hospital was located. He had to circle around a bit once they were in the general neighborhood, looking for the hospital, but they were pulling into the parking lot a good fifteen minutes before the time they had agreed upon with Officer Ellis. Irene was glad, because she hated to be late. She had an aversion to keeping anyone waiting. Perhaps that was partly due to her years of living with Gene, who was very impatient and who always became angry if he had to wait for anything.
Upon entering the hospital, they went to the Information Desk as instructed, and Irene gave her name. She was told to wait there, and five minutes later two police officers came walking toward them - a man and a woman. They introduced themselves as Sgt. Martin and Officer Perez. The man, Sgt. Martin, was much older and distinguished looking, with thick white hair and an imposing and rather severe demeanor, whereas Officer Perez was young and vivacious, with an unruly mop of black curls and big, sparkling, smiling brown eyes.
Irene shook hands with them, introducing herself as Mrs. Eugene Evans, and Sgt. Martin asked to see some proof of identity. After producing that, she introduced Mack and Sharon, and then without further ado Sgt. Martin turned on his heels, saying over his shoulder for them to follow him as he strode away, Officer Perez scampering after him.
They walked down one long corridor and then turned right and followed another until they came to a set of elevators with a plaque beside the doors that said: Unit 4 -- Neurological. Inside the elevator, Sgt. Martin pushed the button for sixth floor and almost without any sense of having moved, they found the elevator door opening again onto a large open area with corridors leading off in several directions. They were led down one of these and then stopped finally before room 615.
There was a policeman stationed outside the room, with whom Sgt. Martin exchanged a few words before opening the door and beckoning for the others to follow him inside. Upon entering, the first thing Irene noticed was all the equipment in the room. This was no ordinary hospital room! In fact, it was a sort of private ICU unit, and a nurse was sitting beside the one bed in the room, monitoring all the equipment and keeping an eye on the various screens and gauges and blinking lights. Irene's eyes then fell on the man lying on the bed, and sure enough, it was Gene, even though he was scarcely recognizable, with an oxygen mask on his face and a myriad of tubes and wires connected to him. The sheet was pulled up no farther than his navel, leaving his powerful upper body bare. His massive chest rose and fell rhythmically in time with the respirator which controlled his breathing. His face and torso were a bit bloated looking and his damp, clammy skin was a pasty gray color. His eyes were closed.
Irene felt slightly faint and almost sick to her stomach from the shock of seeing her husband in that condition, and she reached for Sharon's arm to steady herself. Instinctively, Sharon put her arm around her and held her close, and for about the millionth time Irene breathed a silent prayer of thanks for these amazing and wonderful people who had appeared seemingly out of nowhere the previous day to help Jay and her and Jenna, and without whom she could never have managed. It was as if God had seen her dilemma and sent his angels. What other explanation could there be?
Sgt. Martin had been observing her reaction to seeing Gene and he was convinced she had recognized him, but he asked, "Is this your husband, Mrs. Evans?"
"Yes, sir," Irene replied. "It's Gene. But whatever has happened to him?" And then she burst into tears.
Irene hadn't felt much, if any, love for Gene for a long, long time. Perhaps she had never really loved him, she didn't know. True, she had been very infatuated with him back when she was a naïve high school girl, and immensely flattered that he, the star jock of the school, the cock of the walk, the king of the mountain, had chosen her of all people, her, shy little Irene Allington, to be his girl. But the saying that `marriage is an eye opener' had certainly been true in her case. Already on their wedding night the disillusionment had begun when his selfish and brutal love making -- if you could call it that -- had only left her feeling empty, bruised and violated.
Even if she hadn't loved him in the years since then, she had feared him and had dedicated her life to a mostly futile endeavor to please him. Ever since he had attacked Jay so savagely the day before, she had been filled with a growing sense of revulsion and anger, but now, seeing him as little more than a bloated and empty shell, an all but lifeless hulk lying exposed on that hospital bed, his once strong and invincible body invaded by all sorts of tubes and wires and kept alive by machines, she felt nothing but pity. How could she hate him? He was reduced to nothing.
"The doctors are waiting to talk with you, Mrs. Evans," Sgt. Martin said in answer to her question. "They will explain his condition. I understand you were informed already of how and where your husband was found last night?"
"Well, yes, sir, somewhat," Irene answered.
"Very well then," Sgt. Martin said, rather brusquely, obviously impatient to keep things moving along. "Come with me." And he turned and walked out of the room.
Shortly Irene and Sharon and Mack were seated in a pleasant little conference room and Sgt. Martin informed them that the doctors would join them there in a few minutes.
"We'll be waiting for you outside the room," he said. "When you're finished here we would like to speak with you some more." And then he and Officer Perez left, closing the door.
The three of them sat for ten minutes in silence. Irene was feeling numb and Sharon and Mack didn't intrude on her thoughts, but Irene was comforted by their presence and extremely grateful to them for being there with her.
Finally the door opened and one lone doctor entered the room, a rather small, dapper, middle aged man. The three of them stood to meet him.
"Hello," he said, "I'm Doctor Warrington. I understand one of you is Mrs. Evans?"
"Yes, sir, that's me," Irene replied, extending her hand. "And these are my good friends Sharon and Mack McMillan."
They all shook hands and the doctor motioned for them to be seated again. Then he sat down facing them and cleared his throat.
"It's always difficult to be the bearer of bad news," he began, and then paused.
Irene interjected, "We've just seen my husband, Dr. Warrington, and I can see he's in a very grave condition. Needless to say, it's been a shock to me."
"Yes, I can understand that, Mrs. Evans, and I would like to make this as easy for you as possible. But I'm afraid there is no easy way to say it. Your husband is dying."
In spite of herself, Irene gasped at the bluntness of his words, and Sharon immediately reached out and took her hand. But Irene remained composed, waiting to hear what more the doctor would say.
"You're sure he's dying?" she asked.
"Yes. Absolutely. There is no way in the world that he can survive. The damage done is too extensive."
"Whatever has happened?" Irene asked.
"What have the police told you, Mrs. Evans?"
"That Gene was mugged. They found him slumped over in his car, unconscious and bleeding from a blow to the back of the head."
"Yes, that's correct," the doctor said. "When he was admitted to the hospital last night he was out cold and had obviously been drinking heavily. We expected him to come around after a few hours at least, but his condition began to deteriorate and we've discovered that he has hemorrhaged quite a lot inside the skull, causing extensive damage to the brain stem. Unfortunately, such a situation is inevitably fatal. His organs are all shutting down and it's only a matter of time. I'm very sorry, Mrs. Evans."
"Only a matter of time..." Irene repeated. "Can you say how much time, Doctor?"
"Not precisely, of course, but I would say less than a day at this point, Mrs. Evans."
"Thank you for telling us, Doctor," Irene murmured, her head bowed. Her hands were shaking so badly that she clasped them together in her lap in an effort to hold them still.
"Would you please report to the admissions office before you leave the hospital, Mrs. Evans?" the doctor said, as he rose to go. "They need some information from you. Now please excuse me, but I must run. My sympathies are with you, ma'am."
He extended his hand then, and Irene shook it and then he shook hands with Sharon and Mack and left the room. Sharon and Mack threw their arms around Irene and held her close for a minute or two before they also walked to the door and opened it, bracing themselves for whatever further revelations the police would be giving them.
Sgt. Martin and Officer Perez were waiting outside the door as they had said, and Irene asked them if she could take one last look at her husband before they left.
"Certainly, ma'am," Sgt. Martin said, and they escorted them back to room 615 again. Irene stood motionless and silent beside Gene's bed for several minutes, and then, without so much as touching him, she turned back to Sharon and Mack who were standing behind her and said, "Let's go."
Meanwhile, back at Good Samaritan Hospital, Lee was alone in Jay's room. Marjorie, Sam and Jenna had gone down to the first floor in search of a cafeteria to get some lunch. Lee had insisted on staying with Jay, saying he would grab a sandwich later. He had wanted, if possible, to be with Jay when he woke up, and he was rewarded only a few minutes after the others had left the room. He was just standing by the bed, lightly running his hand up and down the length of Jay's forearm and now and then giving his hand a little squeeze, when suddenly Jay gave his hand an answering squeeze and said, so low it was little more than a whisper, "Lee?"
"Jay! You're awake!" Lee exclaimed, more loudly than he meant to. He was so startled and overjoyed.
"Wha... where am I?" Jay asked.
"You're in the hospital, Jay."
"Oh," he said, and then lapsed into silence. After a minute or two he sighed and then a little sob shook his frame and a tear trickled from the slit of one of his swollen eyes.
"Do you remember what happened, Jay?" Lee whispered to him, squeezing his hand.
Jay nodded and then said, "A little." After another long pause, he said, "My dad hates me so bad. I'm s-s-s-scared. I don't..." And then he said no more, but the tears came faster.
Lee was crying too, by then, and he kept touching Jay, caressing his hand and arm and his forehead and the side of his face that wasn't bruised. He leaned over and nuzzled his ear and whispered to him, "Don't worry, sweetheart. We won't let you get hurt again."
"My dad..." Jay started to say again, and then stopped.
"Do you know why your dad hit you, Jay?" Lee asked.
"He called me a worthless fag. He just thinks I'm rubbish. I never saw him so mad before."
"Do you know why?" Lee asked again.
"I knew there was trouble coming the minute I..."
After another long pause, Lee prompted him. "The minute you what, Jay?"
"When Mack took me home. My dad was just pulling into the driveway and saw us. Saw me in Mack's car. The look on his face scared me so bad. I knew I was in for it."
"What happened then, sweetheart?"
"He grabbed me as soon as I opened the front door and hissed at me, `Who's your sugar daddy?' or something like that, and he called Mack a goddamned fag and me too, and then he hit me and... and..."
"And what?" Lee prompted him again, after a pause.
"I can't remember," Jay sighed. "Everything's black then."
After another minute of silence, Lee asked, "Why did your dad say that about Mack? What was wrong with him giving you a ride home?"
"I... Well, I was telling Mack thanks for everything and he reached over and put his arm around my shoulders and my dad saw it. I could see his face and it's just like it turned black. I knew he... he... I got so scared..."
"Oh, Jay," Lee said, and leaned over and kissed his cheek and embraced him awkwardly, as much as he could from that position with Jay lying in the bed, and laid his face beside Jay's on the pillow. "Mack's the most wonderful man in the world, Jay. He's been like a dad to me."
"I wish he was my dad too," Jay whispered.
Lee remained in that position, as awkward as it was, wanting to comfort his lover and to convey his love to him, patting his head gently and now and then kissing him on the forehead, and after awhile he could tell from Jay's breathing that he had slipped into sleep once more.
Suddenly he was startled by someone's hand being laid on his shoulder and he jerked up away from Jay and turned to see who was behind him. He looked right into the eyes of a nurse but the kindly look in those eyes relaxed him at once.
"It's OK, honey," she said. "He's a sweetheart, isn't he?" She meant Jay, Lee knew, and he nodded dumbly in agreement, not having found his tongue yet.
"I'm Nurse Hellvig, honey. And you are...?"
"My name's Lee, ma'am. Lee Wilson."
"I'm glad to meet you, Lee. And I think Jay's lucky to have you."
Lee blushed furiously, dumbfounded to hear this older lady talking like that, seeming to understand what he and Jay were to each other, and so accepting of it.
"It's plain to see how much you love him, honey. I was watching you for a couple minutes. I wanted to leave you alone, and yet I wanted to talk to you too. I'm sorry if I've frightened you or embarrassed you, Lee. Like I said, Jay is very lucky to have someone who loves him like you do, and I'm happy for you both. He's going to need all the love you can give him, isn't he? But do be a bit careful, darling. This is a hospital, after all. And anyone can come walking through that door at any minute. Not everyone is so understanding. In fact I'm sure one of the nurses here would have raised a terrible ruckus if it had been her who walked in on you just now."
Lee just nodded, still blushing, and unable to look Nurse Hellvig in the eyes. She then reached out and lifted his chin so he had to look at her.
"Please don't be afraid of me, Lee. I'm your friend, and your ally. And I'm a rather powerful ally on this floor too, I might add. I'm the floor supervisor, and if anyone gives you any trouble, I want you to let me know and I'll help you out. Now I want to tell you a little secret. Jay reminds me so much of my own grandson. He's about the same age and his name is Adam. He's gay, bless his heart, and he's one of the sweetest kids on God's earth. He has a boyfriend too, and his dad - my own son, I'm ashamed to say - found out about it and flew into a rage and beat him up and kicked him out of the house. He didn't mess up his face like Jay's dad did, but he broke his arm and injured his kidney. I've had an awful time trying to forgive him for it, let me tell you. And I can't seem to talk any sense into his thick skull. That happened five months ago and he still hasn't relented. He insists Adam is no longer a son of his. But by God, he's still my grandson, and now he's my boy too. He lives with me now, and I don't know how I could live without him, I love him so much."
Nurse Hellvig couldn't keep the tears from coming as she told Lee about Adam, and Lee, of course, was touched deeply by the story. "What about his mother?" Lee asked.
"I'm afraid she's not much better. She doesn't hate Adam like his dad does. Well, I hesitate to say that Jim -- that's my son -- actually hates Adam, but he says he hates all gays. Anyway, Adam's mother, Janice, is a very shallow person, I'm afraid, and she doesn't really care about anyone but herself and her own social image. She comes to my house to see Adam, but only occasionally, and she's perfectly happy that she doesn't have to look after him any more. Jim has not once been to my house since I took Adam in, and he says he never will. I know dear sweet Adam hurts a lot that his own parents have rejected him but he refuses to let on to me, and he is quite happy now, at least he seems to be. He's especially happy with his boyfriend, Todd, and with good reason, let me tell you. Todd's a gem. I want you and Jay to meet them both sometime. You'll like them, and they'll like you, I know. Now, honey, I mustn't stand here talking all day. I just came in to check on Jay when I happened to intrude on your little private moment. Anyway, we'll talk again, OK? Sometime I want you to tell me about the two of you and how you got together and everything. And sometime, when Jay's up to it again, I want both of you to come to my house and meet my boys."
Having said that, she startled poor Lee by giving him a big hug and kissing him on the forehead, and then she turned and left the room, closing the door behind her.
Lee thought his heart would nearly burst with all the emotions that flooded it after Nurse Hellvig had left the room. He couldn't wait to share her amazing story with Sam and with his mother, and with Jay of course, as soon as he was awake enough to listen to it. But he didn't want to share it in front of Jenna. He still didn't know that Jay had already come out to his sister and that she knew he and Jay were boyfriends.
Just a few minutes later, the three ladies came back from having lunch. He was happy to be able to tell them that Jay had been awake for a few minutes and had talked with him a little, and they were duly thrilled with that good news. When Lee's mother mentioned again that he really should go have something to eat, he didn't protest. Marjorie explained to him how to find the cafeteria and gave him five dollars, and he left. He had a lot to think about.