I woke to the sun peeking through the bedroom window into my eyes. I sat up in the large king sized bed to notice I was alone. Dad and Jack had left somewhere, but that gave me a good feeling, because deep inside I wanted them to hash things out between themselves, and they couldn't do it with me around.
I slowly got out of the king size bed, and noticed all the pain shooting throughout my body. I was stupid to run through the woods naked as a jailbird. I could only hope I would heel before Nationals, but even Nationals seemed miles away. We weren't here for that, we were here to find ourselves, and I was convinced I had found myself. Now it was time for everything to be about Dad. Even though I was still a little shocked about my dad, I knew deep in my heart that everything he did, he thought he was doing for me. It was time for me as a man to hold the same unselfishness.
I grabbed a towel from my cot, then a tube of soap, and decided to go clean my wounds and re-bandage them. I went in the main room, and on the table was the first aid kit that Jack had used yesterday. I grabbed it, and headed out, and down the path to the beach. As I neared the beach I could see clearly the path my body made to reach the outhouse. I was lucky I got to that place, or only God knows where I would have ended up. As I got to the clearing to the beach I could see Dad and Jack had beat me there. They were waist deep in the water, and Dad was leaning backwards on Jack, as Jack soaped down his chest. Dad's head rested on Jack's shoulder, and he had the most peaceful look of happiness across his face. It was odd that what made me vomit one day, looked so right and perfect to me the next day. I didn't want to interrupt them, and decided to head back to the cabin to attempt making breakfast for us all.
When I got back to the cabin I dug out the cooler Jack had brought along on the trip. I opened it up, and was amazed. The cooling system ran on a battery like your cell phone, or your iPod. I found some croissants, cheese, and fruit, and decided to try a simple French breakfast for a change.
As I worked diligently in the kitchen I could hear Dad and Jack approaching from the back path from the beach. I could tell that they were already arguing. It seemed weird to me how one minute they seemed in love, and the next minute they were at each other's throats.
When they got outside the door I could make out what they were saying. They were arguing about me, and Jack having sex. I could tell my dad was really jealous. I guess in reality I got him back, even though I no longer held any anger towards him. As their shouting began to escalate I decided it was time to break up this lover's quarrel, and start putting my plan into place. I quickly threw the food down on the table, and ran out on the porch.
"Man! You two are like some old married couple! Stop the arguing already! Now shut up, get in the house, and breakfast is ready on the table!"
They both turned beet red with embarrassment, and without another word, ran into the house. I followed, and the three of us found seats at the table. After a long silence, Jack finally spoke, "We have lobster for tonight's dinner. Thanks for getting breakfast Jett!"
"No problem Jack, after yesterday, I `m finally starving!"
Dad just sat there silent. I knew he was afraid to speak. I was sure he was afraid I was still mad at him, so I made the first gesture, "Dad! Jack! I want to apologize for yesterday. The stunt I pulled was really childish."
"No Jett, the plan we pulled was really childish," Dad blurted out immediately. "I would like to have a chance to talk with you about it."
"Sure Dad! I would love that more than anything."
"Son, I just hope we can be friends again."
"Dad. I am sure we will work it all out. By the way did you guys know there is an outhouse on this island?
Everyone laughed, and then Jack chimed in, "And now we have a path to it!"
"Yeah but now we don't have a door!"
We all sat there laughing even harder than before. Things were starting good, and I could only hope they would get better.
After breakfast I started cleaning up the table. "How do we do these dishes?"
"There is a creek that runs into the beach cove. We use that because it is fresh water." Jack replied.
"Well I have to clean up, I will take them with me when I go do that." Jack started nudging my dad a little like to push him into saying something.
"You mind if I come with you?"
"Are you kidding Dad? I really didn't want to do these dishes by myself, and I have no clue how to put new bandages on myself!"
"Son, before we leave can I ask a favor?"
"Shoot Dad!"
"Can I have a hug, I have been so worried about you."
"That isn't a favor Dad! That is something I really want."
We embraced, and as I always felt, I could feel my dad's love and protection filling my body. He was a great man, I couldn't be happier with another as my father.
As we walked down the path to the beach we both were silent. I knew we were supposed to talk, but I wasn't sure how to start. I knew what my goal was with my dad, but I wasn't sure how to get there.
"That was a pretty stupid stunt yesterday, huh," I finally shot out into the summer air.
"No more stupid than ours. Sorry you had to find out that way." We got to the beach, and decided to sit on a rock to continue talking.
"It gets worse Dad. I kind have raped Jack yesterday. He says he liked it, but I don't know, I feel like a damn crazed criminal."
"Believe me Jett, he loved it. He likes stuff like that. Comes from his childhood."
"I just had all this anger towards you, towards him, and I needed to have sex with a man. He kept trying to stop it. He said no! But I wanted him so bad, and I wanted to hurt you so much, that I pinned him down, and I raped him Dad. I mean I really raped him!"
My emotions swelled up inside of me, and a lone tear dripped down my face.
"That's all right son," Dad said comforting me.
"I liked it Dad. I mean I really liked sex with Jack. I have been trying so hard to be this perfect person in the world, and the truth is I wasn't being who I really am."
"Whatever you do, don't try to draw a perfect picture, and live by it. Believe me it's not right. You know Jack says he is falling for you. He wants to date you Jett!"
"I want that too Dad. I've had really strong feelings for him for a long time now."
"Are you two crazy? He's your uncle! I mean it is bad enough you two had sex, Christ am I the only sane person here?"
"Your jealous aren't you? He ain't my uncle, Dad! I am not even going to call him uncle anymore. He told me what your relationship is like, and to be honest Dad, at the age of 20, I would tell you to take a flying hike!"
"Well he's always liked it until recently!"
"Well maybe Jack is starting to realize that his life could be better. The sad thing is, Dad, he really loves you. I hate to say this, but probably more than Mom. Would Mom have waited by your side if the situations were reversed? What if Mom would have been your first sexual fling, and then you fell in love with Jack, and dumped Mom for him. Do you think she would have stuck with you through everything Dad?
"That's not fair! I never asked him to Jett! He was free to do what he wanted."
"Well what he wanted, and all he has ever wanted is your love! Do you love him Dad? Say yes, and I will back off him immediately, say no, and I am going to date him."
"I can't say I love him, saying that would be like..."
"Like saying you were gay?" I questioned right to his face.
"You don't understand Jett, it ain't that easy. We have so much invested that if we were ever to be thought of anything but straight, our businesses would suffer; our lives would be lived out in the papers. I mean there is so much complication to all this..."
"Do you love him Dad, say yes or no!"
"I, I can't just say it like that!"
"Dad! I am gay, there I said it! Now c'mon and say it!" "What the hell do you want from me Jett?" Dad threw down the dishes, and walked away down the beach from me.
I screamed down the beach at him, "I want you to admit what is true Dad. Just like I'm realizing who I am. You need to realize, and admit who you are!"
I picked up the dishes, and set them on the rock. I grabbed the soap and towel and I made a beeline full sprint to the cove. My dad continued to walk around the cove's beach. I dove in head first into the brisk water, and surfaced after a few strokes under water. When I looked up for my dad he was gone.
"Damn it Dad!" I screamed into the Maine air.